微课题读后续写的动作打磨（定）

ContinuationWritingSillsforactionent

稻田高三英语组彭立荣Why？学生读后续写中存在的主要问题：1故事情节与材料脱节或情节与提示语衔接不当2人物关系混乱，毫无逻辑性3或表达啰嗦、或敷衍了事4段落通篇是对话；段落分布不均匀5语言表达单调，无亮点；6语法、时态错误;HarryBlacwastiredofthedailyroutineandalwaysdesiredforsomethingnewtohaeLet’sgosomewhereelse”

Hiswifelaughed“Loooverthereontheground,”shesaid“Isn’titaey”

HarrywaledovertotheeyandlooedatitTheeywasnotverylargeandithadthenumber164onitObviously,itwasn’tacareyoradooreybutaeytoaboandtheydecidedtotaeittotheetosomelocers（寄存柜）Eachlocerhadanumber,alocandaeythereforanhourortwoThe

Whenshesawthelocers,Harry’swifesaid,“InowwhatthateyisIt’stheeyfromoneofthoselocersSomeoneethinginalocer,locedthedoor,tootheeyawayandthenlostit”

Harrytootheeyoutofhisber164thereTheywenttothelocersandsoonfoundnumber164HarrylooedattheeyHelooedattheeyinlocernumber164Hetoldhiswifethathewasgoingtoonotgoingtotaethem,”Harrysaid“I’monlygoingtolooatthem”

“enwerestandingnettohim__________________________________续写课例学生习作2学生习作1读后续写分档：0-5（乱七八糟）抄原文，或是简单词汇堆砌，无谓语动词或片段，句子与原文内容不相关。6-10（稀里糊涂）出现谓语，逐渐有了句子结构，但谓语动词错误较多，人称，时态错误太多，有的内容严重跑题；中式英语占多数。11－14（马马虎虎）可读句增多，1/3句子正确，情节基本完整，常见中式英语。15-17（平平淡淡）情节完整，小错不断，谓语动词可以有点错误，没有高级句型，情节还算完整；偶尔中式英语。18－21（清清楚楚）条理清晰；故事脉络清晰合；语法结构基本正确，可有些错误，但不影响理解；有亮点。22－25漂漂亮亮故事脉络清晰，两段衔接合理，首尾呼应，语法结构正确，句式多样；亮点多。What？◆阅卷时主要考虑以下内容：（1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度（2）内容的丰富性（3）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性（4）上下文的连贯性。情节语言动作描写心理描写环境描写好的动作描写能达到一些什么效果呢？1丰满人物情感towell-aeepressionspowerful3丰富故事情节toenrichyourstoryan’shouseHenocedonthedooragainandthistimetheoldmancamerighttothedoor“Boy,IthoughtItoldyounomagaines!”Theoldmanstaredathimangrilyandyelled“Inowthat,sirIjustwantedtobringyouagift”ThelittleboysmiledandhandedhimthedogfigurineLooingattheboy,theoldmanwastoosurthrisinginhisheart,asnoonehadevershownhimsomuchindnessSample范文

恰当的动词描写动作properdescriptionofaction非谓语描写动作Non-finitedescriptionofactionwith的复合结构选动词chooseaccurateverbsDescriptionsofaction非谓语表达non-finiteepressionsSillsforent分词做状语独立主格其他（一）chooseaccurateverbsEnjoyaclientionedinthevideoDetaileddescriptionofactionwaltiptoe踮着脚走，蹑手蹑脚的走snea潜行，偷偷溜走stagger蹒跚，摇摇晃晃地走stroll散步，溜达pace踱步，走来走去wander游荡，漫游swagger昂首阔步；神气十足地走dash猛冲，突进（二）non-finiteepressions学生非谓语运用范例：（1）分词做状语1Gaingathiswifewithsuchaburningdesire,Harrybeggedhiswife（周宇）2Overwhelmedwithfears,Harrycouldfeelhisheartbling（袁思婕）（2）with带复合宾语结构1Harryossweating,Harrystruggledtosaysomething,buthisheadwasblanimmediatelyandfailedtosayanything（谢宝树）3Withhisfeettrembling,Harrywasfroentothespot。（唐晓岚）ssweating,Harrytriedtoeber,hisfeetunabletomoveanyinch（何佳鑫）（3）独立主格How？1情景训练:supposeyousawsuchawolf,howdidyoufeelSeeingthefiercewolf,

Iwas

seied

bya

strong

sense

of

horror,withmy

ssweating

被深深地恐惧感所控制，手心出汗/Ifeltasurgeoffearrisinginmyheart一阵害怕涌上来Acouplestrolledalongthebeach,handinhand，withasoftbreeegentlyissingthehairandthewaveslappingthefeet李思妮）:looatthepictureandtrytodescribethepictureindetailwithnon-finiteverbscouplebreeewaveInthemiddleofthequietnight,themanethingorsomeone（李锦琨）nightpacewait1TheboynocedonthedooragainHoldingthedogfigurineinhishand,henocedonthedooragain,withasmileappearingonhisface（龙浩）an’shouse2例句改写：2ThelittleboyeadogfigurineThelittleboysmiled,taingadogfigurinefromhisbac,andsaid,“”许晴________becurious,hewasabouttostretchouthishandtowardsthelocerwhenhiswifesto,"Thoughyouwantsomethingnew,wehavetodothingsas______allow"_____facethelocers,Harryloweredhisheadwithhiseyes______stareatthefloorandchewedhisliind---theownermustbeaniousanddepressedwhenhecouldn'tfindit________thinofit,hequiclyputtheeytohispocet,________leaveitunlocedAllofasudden,astrangevoicebroethesilenceBeingallowedFacingstaringThiningleaving3语法填空4相互批改作文

1________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingsecret2________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingwhenheismad3________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingheisveryething5________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethinginterestingorwhenheeoneWhisperYellBoastWhineGiggle低声说，私语吼叫，大喊吹嘘，自夸发牢骚，哭诉，抱怨咯咯地笑5细化动作专项训练Mymotherturnedoffthelightsand_________母亲关上灯，然后踮着脚尖悄悄地走了出去。I___________thestairs我偷偷地溜上了楼。Theinjuredwoman________toherfeet受伤的女人摇摇晃晃地站起身来。Theylooedhanervously他们等的时候，克拉维斯在屋里不安地踱来踱去。tiptoedoutsneaedupstaggeredstrolledpaced6