备考2024届高考英语一轮复习第二部分读后续写专题二热考话题素材3师生关系

热考话题3师生关系[2023新高考Ⅰ]WhenIwasinmiddleschool，mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil，soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay，whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So，whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail？Hisreply："BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself，Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis."Encouragedbyhiswords，Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith（银匠）inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18，1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea，butfunny；andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink，ashespedthroughthenight？Didhegettired？Havedoubts？Didhewanttoquit？Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But，likeRevere’shorse，Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutahalf-dozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher，hereadit，laughedoutloud，andsaid，"Great.Now，writeitagain."Iwroteitagain，andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit，thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin，Iwouldn’tcare.Afewweekslater，whenIalmostforgotthecontest，therecamethenews.Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.人物主要人物"I"：从文中描述的"saidnowithoutthinking""difficultandpainfulforme""Iagreedtogiveitatry""wantedtoquit...Ikeptgoing...checkedmyspelling...correctmygrammar...readafewofthem""wroteitagain，andagainandagain"可以看出，"我"起初缺乏自信，但随后变得努力勤奋、信念坚定。次要人物mysocialstudiesteacher：从文中描述的"Noonelaughedharderthanhedid""Iloveyourstories...youhaveagoodshotatthis""laughedoutloud，andsaid，‘Great.Now，writeitagain.’"可知，"我"的社会科学老师乐观开朗，关心、理解、支持、鼓励学生。为续写第二段"我"来到老师办公室表达对老师的感激之情奠定了基础。情节及情感线社会科学老师要"我"参加写作比赛（"我"很抗拒，直接拒绝）→他鼓励"我"参加比赛（"我"受到鼓舞，决定试试）→"我"选定主题开始写作（纠结、自我怀疑，但还是继续坚持）→"我"一遍遍修改、润色文章（已经不在意能否得奖）主题通过"我"前后对待写作的态度的强烈反差，体现了要持之以恒地努力，克服困难并从中获得乐趣和成长的主题；同时根据续写第二段提示语可知，本文也体现了良师益友这一主题，赞美了老师对学生润物细无声的引导和鼓励。续写第一段衔接本段首句的thenews，接下来应该是得到获奖的消息、听到消息后"我"的反应；衔接第二段首句，本段还应该讲到颁奖典礼上发生的事情，尾句落脚点在回想老师对自己的帮助，与第二段首句完美连贯起来。本段重点描写消息引发的一系列心理活动和动作。续写第二段衔接本段首句，接下来应该是老师得知"我"获奖后的反应、"我"对老师的回应；尾句升华主题：个人感悟，这件事对"我"的深远影响。本段重点描写"我"到办公室后师生间的互动，可通过对话、动作、心理描写等刻画细节。1.Ifeltexcited.①用短语beoverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbelief替换feelexcited，体现用词的丰富性。Iwasoverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbelief.②用so...that结构改写句①，引出"我"听到消息后激动的身体表现。Iwassooverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbeliefthatmyheartwaspoundingquickly.③用倒装结构改写句②，更加凸显"我"得知获奖时的激动心情。SooverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbeliefwasIthatmyheartwaspoundingquickly.2.IfeltexcitedandproudwhenIacceptedtheprize.①用现在分词短语作状语改写句子并增加副词修饰，丰富句式结构。Feelingextremelyexcitedandproud，Iacceptedtheprize.②为句①增加"我"的获奖感悟，照应前文"我"写作时的坚持和努力，使前后文衔接更紧密。Feelingextremelyexcitedandproud，Iacceptedtheprize，asymbolandrecognitionofmypastperseveranceandhardwork.3.Hecongratulatedme，andIexpressedmythankstohim.①用对话形式展现"我"与老师的互动，使故事情节发展更加自然、顺畅。"Congratulations！Iknewyouwouldwin，"hesaid."Thankyouforyourencouragement."②为句①中老师对"我"的获奖感到开心增加肢体动作描写；并用虚拟语气表达"我"对老师的感激之情。"Congratulations！Iknewyouwouldwin，"hesaid，huggingmetightly."Thankyou.Iwouldn’tbewhatIamtodaywithoutyourencouragement."③为句②中"我"对老师的感激之情增加心理细节描写，使我对老师的感激跃然纸上，更具有画面感。"Congratulations！Iknewyouwouldwin，"hesaid，huggingmetightly."Thankyou.Iwouldn’tbewhatIamtodaywithoutyourencouragement."Asenseofgratitudewelledupfromthebottomofmyheart.Afewweekslater，whenIalmostforgotthecontest，therecamethenews.Iwonfirstplace！Sooverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbelief（如此兴奋和难以置信）wasIthatmyheartwaspoundingquickly.Finallycamethebigday！Whenmynamewasannounced，Iwalkedontothestageagainstwildcheersandthunderousapplause（在热烈的欢呼声和雷鸣般的掌声中）.Feelingextremelyexcitedandproud，Iacceptedtheprize，asymbolandrecognitionofmypastperseveranceandhardwork.Thinkingaboutthis，Ishedtearsofgratitude（流下感激的泪水），astherewasonespecialpersonwhomeantalottome.Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation."Congratulations！Iknewyouwouldwin，"hesaid，huggingmetightly."Thankyou.Iwouldn’tbewhatIamtodaywithoutyourencouragement."Asenseofgratitudewelledupfromthebo