河北省张垣联盟2023-2024学年高二4月考试读后续写分析及下水文-合唱团关爱学生的老师Mr.Wright 讲义素材

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。WhenIwas12yearsold,

mygrandparentspassedaway.Iwasreallyclosetothem,andlosingthemwasthehardestthingI’veeverhadtogothrough.

Icouldn'teat,sleep,orthink;IfeltlikeIcouldn’teverbreathe.Itwasasifmywholeworldhadfallendownfromunderme,andIfellintothishugeholeofdepression.​AlthoughIwasbattlingdepression,

Iwasdeterminedtomakemyhighschoolyears

thebestofmylife.Itwasdifficulttobehappy,butIhadtotry.IjoinedWomen’sChoir(合唱团).

Mr.Wrightwasthechoraldirectorandhewassofunnythatthefirstday,IjustknewIhadmadethebestdecisionofmylife.Astheyearprogressed,Ilovedchorusmoreandmore.Ibegantosmileagainandreallyenjoylife.Thenonedaythatallchanged.

Myfriends---orthosethatIthoughtweremyfriends---startedtalkingaboutmebehindmyback.Iwashurt,andIsatbymyself.Mr.Wrightcameoverandaskedwhatwaswrong.ThelookinhiseyestoldmeIcouldtrusthim.Tryinghardtoholdbacktears,Itoldhimthewholestory.​WhenIfinished,henoddedandtoldme,“Ifyouneverlearnanythingfromme,learnthis:Nooneisworthstealingyourjoy.

”WhatMr.Wrightsaidreallystruckachord(心弦)inmyheart.Hetrulycaredaboutmeandwhatwasgoingon.Henotonlysavedmebutinfluencedeverydayofit.Ibegantorealizethatmyhappinessdidn'tdependonwhatothersthoughtofme.Islowlyletgoofthehurtandpain,andwitheachpassingday,Ifeltmyselfregainingthestrengthto

smileagain.Thechorusbecamemysanctuary(避难所)，aplacewhereIcouldlosemyselfinthebeautyofmusicandforgetabouttheworld'stroubles.注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。Paragraph1:Outofgratitudeforallofthese,

IdecidedtowritealettertoMr.Wright.Paragraph2:Yearslater,IfollowinMr.Wright'sfootsteps,becomingachoirteachermyself.

​【考查目标】本次月考试题读后续写主题语境为“人与自我”，涉及“学校生活”、“认识自我，丰富自我，完善自我”、“正确的人生态度”等内涵意义。续写材料难度中等，但在短时间内构思出情节合理、衔接得当的短文仍然不易。其实，高考英语自从加入读后续写这个写作试题以来，英语试卷的整体难度就提升了。考生必须加快前面题型的答题速度，才能为两篇写作题目节省出更多的构思空间。另外，写作本身属于创造性劳动，是稀缺资源，需要很多知识的积淀，耗费大量时间的构思，才能在最后收获让人眼前一亮的作品。师生关系一直是教育的热点话题，也是各级各类考试读后续写题目常考的内容。上次月考提到的是老师对学生从开始的误解到最后的理解，而本次考试是老师对学生更加正面的影响——帮助学生走出同学欺凌的阴影并影响了学生的职业选择。

读后续写这个相对有创造性的半开放性试题要求考生在限时阅读的基础上，合理想象，续写两段文字，以使故事完整、情节合理、衔接有序和语言生动，来对抗写作内容的固化。我想这也是教育部教育考试院设置该题型的目的，希望考生有更多的想象空间来展示写作水平，以读促写，引导高中英语教学的改革。​【文本主旨】文本讲述了作者在经历祖父母去世和朋友的背叛后陷入悲伤，但后来在合唱团老师Mr.Wright的帮助下重新找到快乐，意识到自己的幸福不取决于别人的看法，合唱团成为了作者精神的庇护所，让她能够在音乐中忘却烦恼。【续写分析】

读完文章，考生需要记住的几个关键点：①作者因为加入了Mr.Wright负责的合唱团走出了失去亲人的阴影，重新唤起了对生活的热爱

②在遭受了朋友的背叛后，Mr.Wright鼓励作者依靠自己，学会坚强

③Mr.Wright的建议和支持对学生时代的作者很重要，帮助作者度过了情绪的低谷。根据前文表述和续写两个段落开头的提示，续写内容分析如下：

由续写第一段开头句Outofgratitudeforallofthese,IdecidedtowritealettertoMr.Wright.可知，本段主要阐述作者给Mr.Wright写信时的状态和书信内容，可以围绕对老师的所作所为表示感谢展开。另外，由于续写第二段开头提到作者多年后，也成为一名老师，所以本段还可以在信中提到未来想成为像老师的一样人，使文章上下文更有衔接，不唐突。当然，本段也可以酌情增加Mr.Wright看到信时的反映等情节，以使续写情节更趋饱满。其实，对于无话可说的学生来说，本段还可以巧妙地加入对过去发生事情的重述，增加文章的衔接和粘性。

​根据续写第二段开头语

Yearslater,IfollowinMr.Wright'sfootsteps,becomingachoirteachermyself.可知，本段的时空和人物身份都发生了转换。作者在Mr.Wright的影响下，也成为一名合唱团的老师。本段续写的内容相对开放，可以写作者如何像Mr.Wright一样温暖贴心地关爱学生；也可以写成为老师后，回去看望Mr.Wright的感人场景等。只要言之有理，情理之中，都可接受。结尾升华部分可以强调了难忘师恩对自己的影响，或者是感谢生命中黑暗时刻那些给与自己关爱的人。【下水文1】Paragraph1:

Outofgratitudeforallofthese,IdecidedtowritealettertoMr.Wright.

Onpaper,I

expressedhow

his

kindnessandwisdomhadrescuedmefromthemostchallengingperiodIhadeverfaced.Ithankedhimforteachingmethatmyhappinesswas

up

to

my

own

willingness,notdependentontheopinionsofothers.Iwantedhimtoknow

itwas

his

humorand

passionformusic

that

hadshapedmy

life,guidingmeto

beareliablepersonlikehim.ThemomentIputdownmypen,

in

relief,Ifinallyconveyedmy

deep

appreciationto

Mr.Wright,imagininghissinceresmilewhenhereadtheletter.

(97

words)

​Paragraph2:

Yearslater,IfollowinMr.Wright'sfootsteps,becomingachoirteachermyself.

Inspiredbyhisabilitytouplift

others’

spirits

throughmusic,IknewIwantedtopayforwardthesamekindnessandguidanceto

mystudents.Standinginfrontofmyownchoirclass,I

could

see

thereflection

ofmyyoungerselfintheireyes---searchingfor

comfort

andbelonging.JustasMr.Wrighthaddoneforme,I

sparednoeffort

tobeasourceofsupportand

encouragement

for

youngersouls.Everyday,Ishared

themagicofmusic

andhisgreatestwords

“Nooneisworthstealingyourjoy.”,

which

changedmylifeforever.

(96words)【下水文2】Paragraph1:Outofgratitudeforallthis,IdecidedtowritealettertoMr.Wright.

Intheletter,Iexpressedmyappreciationforwhathehaddoneforme.Duringthosedays,hiskindnessseemedlikearayofsunshineslippingthroughthewindowofmyheart.Hemademelookatthehopefulnessofmylifeandhelpedmethroughmysadnessatlosingmylovelygrandparents.Ibecamemoreoutgoingandconfident.Idon'tknowwhatwouldhavehappenedifMr.Wrighthadn'tsteppedinonthatday.Buthereallystruckachordinmyheartandencouragedmetostrugglewithlife.Atthattime,ImademyowndecisiontobecomeachoirteacherlikeMr.Wright.​Paragraph2:Yearslater,IfollowedinMr.Wright'sfootstepsandbecameachoirteachermyself.

Ioftenhelpmystudentsfacedifficulties,justasMr.Wrighthelpedme.Thatsorrowfulmemoryhasslowlyfadedfrommymind.Istilloftenlosemyselfinthebeautyofmusicandforgetabouttheworld