【素材】06.概要写作之记叙文-2022年上海高考英语考前写作冲刺强化集训

备战高考概要写作之记叙文备战高考概要写作之记叙文理论指导及实战演练要点精析要点精析记叙文概要写作技巧记叙文(Narration)：找出时间(when),地点(where),什么人(who),做了什么事(what),为什么做(why),结果怎么样(how)六要素。其中,最重要的要点是某人(who)做了何事(what)。若是夹叙夹议的文章,还要加上作者的看法、观点、经验或感悟。

1.叙事性的记叙文(Narration)。

叙事性的记叙文的主要内容的概括主要抓住记叙文的几个要素：时间、地点、人物、事件和影响或后果。

写人的记叙文（Description）。

写人的记叙文总结要点主要抓住人物的主要特点或事迹，划出关键词（所谓关键词是文中反复出现的体现主题或关联的词）。记叙文概要写作模板记叙文体的阅读材料，相比其他文体而言，写概要相对容易。在写概要前，除明确文章主题外，还应抓住六个要素：when,where,who,what,why,how。在这六个要素中，所占内容比重最大的是what。一般来说，记叙文的故事概要可以用这样的模板来表示：记叙文：what/who/when/where/why/howWhodidwhatby…because…当然，不是说每个故事概要都包含how或why，有时两者选其一即可。保留：保留：When?Where?Who?What?Why?How?删除细节删除具体例子（引用一两个说明问题即可）避免重复要点整合要点整合提炼同义转换同义转换:近义词、同义词等替换句子重构:调整词类、时态、语态等语言衔接（照应、替代、省略、连接和词汇衔接）课堂典例课堂典例例文1：TheRenaissance(15thto16thcentury)（1）DuringtheRenaissance,newideasandvaluesgraduallyreplacedthoseheldintheMiddleAges.Peoplebegantoconcentratelessonreligiousthemesandadoptamorehumanisticattitudetolife.AtthesametimepaintersreturnedtoclassicalRomanandGreekideasaboutart.Theytriedtopaintpeopleandnatureastheyreallywere.Richpeoplewantedtopossesstheirownpaintings,sotheycoulddecoratetheirsuperbpalacesandgreathouses.Theypaidfamousartiststopaintpicturesofthemselves,theirhousesandpossessions,aswellastheiractivitiesandachievements.（2）Oneofthemostimportantdiscoveriesduringthisperiodwashowtodrawthingsinperspective.ThistechniquewasfirstusedbyMasaccioin1428.Whenpeoplefirstsawhispaintings,theywereconvincedthattheywerelookingthroughaholeinthewallatarealscene.Iftherulesofperspectivehadnotbeendiscovered,noonewouldhavebeenabletopaintsuchrealisticpictures.Bycoincidence,oilpaintswerealsodevelopedatthistime,whichmadethecoloursusedinpaintingslookricheranddeeper.Withoutthenewpaintsandthenewtechnique,wewouldnotbeabletoseethemanygreatmasterpiecesforwhichthisperiodisfamous.Step1.Step1.Determinethetypeofwritingandidentifythetopicaswellastheauthor’spurpose确定体裁，明确主题体裁：记叙文主题：文艺复兴时期的艺术Para1Para1Topicsentence:Idea1:Idea2:Para2TopicSentence:Informationaboutperspective:Putforward:Content:Assistance:Step2.Step2.Dividethepassage&summarizethemainideaofeachpart明确文章结构para1para1para1TopicSentence:“DuringtheRenaissance,newideasandvaluesgraduallyreplaced…”Idea1:“Peoplebegantoconcentratelessonreligiousthemesandadoptamorehumanisticattitudetolife.”Idea2:“Atthesametimepaintersreturnedtoclassical…peopleandnatureastheyreallywere.”Example:“Richpeoplewantedto…”para2TopicSentence:“Oneofthemostimportantdiscoveriesduringthisperiodwashowtodrawthingsinperspective.”Informationaboutperspective:Putforward:Masaccio;1428Content:“…lookingthroughaholeinawallatarealscene.”Assistance:“Bycoincidence,oilpaintswerealsodeveloped…”Step3.Highlightthekeyinformationofeachpart划主题句与关键信息Step4.Step4.MakeanoutlineofthepassageStep5.WritethefirstdraftTopicSentence:DuringtheRenaissance,newideasandvaluesgraduallyreplacedthoseheldintheMiddleAges.Rewrite:IntheRenaissance,newviewpointswereinplaceofthosehundredsyearsago.同义转换同义转换Idea1:Peoplebegantoconcentratelessonreligiousthemesandadoptamorehumanisticattitudetolife.Rewrite：Firstly,peoplefocusedmoreonhumanisticthemesratherthanreligiousones.衔接词衔接词句型转变句型转变Idea2:AtthesametimepaintersreturnedtoclassicalRomanandGreekideasaboutart.Theytriedtopaintpeopleandnatureastheyreallywere.Rewrite：删除细节Secondly,paintersreturnedtoclassicalideaswhichwerefocusedonrealpeopleandnature.删除细节Step6.RevisethesummaryPeoplehadnewviewpointsduringtheRenaissance.Peoplefocusedmoreonhumanisticthemesratherthanreligiousones.Meanwhile,painterspreferredtheclassicalideasandpaintedrealpeopleandnature.(29words)TheperspectiveproposedbyMasaccioin1428becamethetypicalpaintingcharacteristicinthatperiod.Withthedevelopmentofoilpaints,peoplefeltlikeseeingrealitythroughahole.(29words)例文2：Thereisnothingfixedaboutattitudestodirt(topicsentence)Intheearly16thcentury,peoplethoughtthatdirtontheskinwasameanstoblockoutdisease,asmedicalopinionhaditthatwashingoffdirtwithhotwatercouldopenuptheskinandletillsin.Aparticulardangerwasthoughttolieinpublicbaths.By1538,theFrenchkinghadclosedthebathhousesinhiskingdom.So

didthekingofEnglandin1546.ThusbeganalongtimewhentherichandthepoorinEuropelivedwithdirtinafriendlyway.HenryIV,KingofFrance,wasfamouslydirty.Uponlearningthatanoblemanhadtakenabath,thekingorderedthat,toavoidtheattackofdisease,thenoblemanshouldnotgoout.Thoughthebeliefinthemeritofdirtwaslong-lived,dirthasnolongerbeenregardedasaniceneighbor

eversincethe18thcentury.Scientificallyspeaking,cleaningawaydirtisgoodtohealth.Cleanwatersupplyandhandwashingarepracticalmeansofpreventingdisease.Yet,itseemsthatstandardsofcleanlinesshave

movedbeyondsciencesinceWorldWarⅡ.Advertisementsrepeatedlyselltheidea;clothesneedtobewhiterthanwhite,clothseversofter,surfacestoshine.Hasthehatefordirt,however,gonetoofar?Attitudestodirtstilldifferhugelynowadays.Manyfirst-timeparentsnervouslytrytowarntheirchildrenofftouchingdirt,whichmightberesponsibleforthespreadofdisease.Onthecontrary,MaryRuebush,an

Americanimmunologist(免疫学家),encourageschildrentoplayinthedirttobuildupastrongimmune

system.Andthelatterpositionisgainingsomeground.1:ReadfortopicandstructureTip1(topicsentence):Thereisnothingfixedaboutattitudestodirt(structure):(2),(3),(4)2.Explore（探究）❶supportingideas❷findoutthetopicsentencesofeachparagraph,leavingoutunnecessarypointsTip2:Explorefortopicsentences,leavingoutunnecessarypoints3:Paraphrase（改写）Tip3:Paraphrasewithsynonyms(同义词）▲Thereisnothingfixedaboutattitudestodirt.Attitudestodirtvaryindifferenttimes.Peopleholddifferent/mixedopinionstowardsdirtovertime.Paraphrasewithsynonyms（同义句）▲…thoughtthatdirtontheskinwasameanstoblockoutdisease①defendedtheirbodiesagainsttheattackofdisease.②considereddirtontheskinhelpedresistillness.③protectedpeoplefromgettingill.④regarddirtontheskinasabarrieragainstdiseaseTip4:Paraphrase（改写）withstructures(participle分词,with-structure结构,emphaticsentence强调句andsoon)▲Inthe18thcentury,…regarded…cleaningawaydirtisgoodtohealth①Itwasnotuntil….thatpeolecametobelievewashingoffdirtbenefitedhealth.②Centurieslater,peoplecametoadopt/employ/subsribetoascientificviewondirt,consideringitahealthypracticetoremovedirtofftheskin.▲encourageschildrentoplayinthedirttobuildupastrongimmune

system①playwithdirt……helpstrenghthentheirimmunesystem.②exposuretosomedirtmayhelp/boostourimmunesystem.4:Polish（润色）Tip5:Polishwithconnectivestomakeitcoherent.Peopleholdmixedopinionstowardsdirtonourskin.Inthe16thcentury,peopleofsomeEuropeancountries,believedthatdirtprotectedpeoplefromgettingill.However,③since18thcentury,peoplebegantobelievethatwashingdirtoffourbodycankeepushealthy.But,④nowadays,somescientistsbelievethatexposuretosomedirtmayhelpourimmunesystem.例文3：Manyseniorsfeelpressuredtogostraightfromhighschooltocollege—butCamdenOlson,whograduatedfromLatinSchoolofChicagointheUSlastyear,didn’tgivein.ShedecidedtospendagapyearraisingaguidedogforGuidingEyesfortheBlindinMaine.Thenonprofitprovidestrainedguidedogstoblindandvisuallyimpairedpeople.“IcansayI’mlivingthedream,’’Olsonsaid.“ThisissomethingI’vealwayswantedtodo.,’Takingayearoffbeforecollege,commonlyknownasagapyear,isbecomingmoreandmorepopularamongAmericanteenagers.AccordingtoasurveybytheAmericanGapAssociation,enrollmentintheseprogramsgrew27percentbetween2012and2013.Somestudentsusetheyearofftofigureoutwhattheywanttodo,traveltheworld,orsavemoneyforcollege.Olsonisusinghertimetopursueapassionshe'shadsince7thgrade.Foryears,shekeptaneyeonguidedogservicesuntilshecameacrosstheopportunityatGuidingEyes.Withsupportfromherfriends,familyandteachers,Olsonwentforit.Olson’svolunteerworkcentersaroundDerby,,a1-year-oldblackdog.“Myjobistoraisehimtobewell-manneredandsocialized,shesaid.“Guidedogshavetoignoreanydistractions.Theygoeverywherewiththeirvisuallyimpairedhandler.Theygiveablindpersonalotofindependenceandemotionalsupport,too.”Ofcourse,there’sanendinsightforDerbyandOlson’sclosebond.WhenDerbycelebrateshisowngraduation,Olsonwillhavetosaygoodbyetohim.Whilesomelookatgapyearsinanegativelight,Olsonsaidshe’sseenmajorsuccess.Infact,she’llbeattendingPrincetonUniversitythisfallandisthinkingaboutmajoringinecologyandbiology.“IthinkI’malreadymuchmorematurethanIwasandawareofwhatreallymatters,,”shesaid.“Somanykidsdocomebackfromgapyearsalotmorefocusedandprepared.”参考答案：Likemanyotherhighschoolgraduates,Olsonwasdeterminedtotakeadvantageofhergapyeartotrainaguidedog,whichwaswhatshelongedtodoforalongtime.(要点1)NotonlydidOlsonaccomplishthetaskoftrainingDerbytobecapableofitswork—tohelppeoplewithvisualdisabilities,(要点2)butsheherselfbenefitedmuchfromthisexperience.(要点3)分析过程：一、试题详解核心内容本文是一篇记叙文,主要讲述Olson决定利用gapyear来训练导盲犬,这是她自七年级以来的梦想。Olson选择把这一年的时间用来训练Derby,使它能够胜任导盲犬的工作,给视力障碍人士提供帮助,而这次经历也有助于她的成长。写作思路（1）记叙文是记叙人物的经历或事物的发展变化过程为主的一种文体。这篇文章以人物为中心叙述事情。所以我们要交代清楚人物（CamdenOlson)、时间（lastyearaftergraduatingseniorschool)、事由（raiseaguidedogcalledDerby),这样文章的脉络就一目了然,有助于概括大意。（2）确定要点,使其结构紧凑,过渡自然。本文要点1是全文的中心,即Olson高中毕业后打算用gapyear来培训导盲犬,这也是她长久的愿望。要点2说明训练的结果,要点3则是Olson从中的收获。在确定要点后就要运用自己的语言有效地组织。实战演练实战演练演练1Directions:Readthefollowingpassage.Summarizethemainideaandthemainpoint(s)ofthepassageinnomorethan60words.Useyourownwordsasfaraspossible.

Discoveringalostbrother①KieronGrahamalwaysknewhehadanolderbrothernamedVincent.ThoughKieronspentyearsthinkingabouthim,hecouldnevertrackhimdown.②ThatchangedinDecember2017,whenKieron’sadoptiveparentsgavehimanAncestryDNAtestasaChristmasgift.Kieron,now21,senthissaliva(唾液)sampleinforanalysis.Whenhisresultscameback,hewasstunnedtofindhehadalotofDNAmatchesforrelativeswhohadalsotakenthetest.Mostweredistantconnections,butonematchwassostrongthatitwaslabeled“closefamily.”HisnamewasVincentGhant.KieronlookedforhimonFacebookandsoonmadeapossibleconnection.“Thisisgoingtosoundsowild…butIthinkyou’remybrother,”KieronwroteonFacebook’sMessengerapp.“Iwasgivenupforadoptionin1997anditsaysonmypaperworkthatmymotherhasasonwithyournameandyourbirthdate.HernameisShawn.”③“OMGdoyouknowyourrealname?”wroteVincent,now30.④“IthinkitwasTyler.”⑤“OMGYES!!!Youaremybrother.”⑥“Wow,”wroteKieron.⑦“Thisiscrazy,”saidVincent.⑧Thecrazinesswasjustbeginning.Astheytalked,thebrothersrealizedtheylivedabout20minutesfromeachother.Moresurprising,theyattendedthesameuniversityandmajoredandminoredinthesamesubjects:politicalscienceandlegalstudies.⑨VincentwasninewhenKieronwasbornandrememberscaringforhisbabybrother.Buttimesweretough,andShawn,whoworked15-plushoursadayasanurse,decidedthatplacingKieronforadoptionwouldgivehimthebestchancetosucceed.⑩“Shewasveryemotionalaboutthattime,tothepointwhereitwashardforhertoputintowordsanythingaboutwhathappened,”Vincentsays.⑾Nowthebrothershadthechancetomakeupforlosttime.Theydecidedtomeetatalocalteashopthatweek.⑿OneofVincent’sconcernswasthatKieronmightresenthisbirthfamilyforplacinghimforadoption.HewasrelievedKierondidn’t,andthathe’dgrownupinalovingfamily.⒀Sincethatfirstmeeting,thebrothershavebondedevenmore.TheyplayfootballtogetherandcelebratedChristmaswiththeirfamilies.“We’llkeepgrowingourrelationshipuntilit’stimetoleavethisplanet,”saysVincent.Thatshouldn’tbehard.AsKieronsays,“We’vegotyearsandyearstocatchupon.”【解析指导】1.Mainidea 本文讲述了一对分开多年的兄弟重聚的故事。文章前半部分主要讲Kieron如何通过基因检测和Facebook找到了他的哥哥Vincent，后半部分讲述了他们重聚之后的往来，以及迅速建立感情。2.Textstructure 全文可以划分为三个部分： ①-⑧第一部分：Kieron通过基因检测和Facebook找到了他的哥哥。 ⑨-⑩第二部分：Kieron的妈妈为什么放弃他，让别人领养他。⑾-⒀第三部分：Kieron和哥哥重聚后，迅速建立感情。3.Mindmap4.WritingprocedureStep1：细读全文，明确主题。本文主要是讲述了一对分开多年的兄弟重聚的故事。Step2：划分要点。记叙文注意是找who/what/when/where/why/howwho：Kieronwhat:foundhisbrotherVincentwhen/why:文中划线处where:无需强调how:throughanAncestryDNAtestandFacebookStep3：标主题句或关键词。已在文中用横线标出每段主题句。Step4：概括。SummarywritingKieron,givenupforadoptionreluctantlybyhismotherwhenhewasababy,foundhisbrotherVincentthroughanAncestryDNAtestandFacebook.Surprisingly,theylivedquiteclosetoeachotherandstudiedthesamesubjectsinthesameuniversity.Aftertheirfirstmeeting,thetwobrothersquicklybondedandwouldenhancetheirrelationshipintheyearstocome.(60words)演练2Directions:Readthefollowingthreepassages.Summarizethemainideaandthemainpoint(s)ofthepassageinnomorethan60words.Useyourownwordsasfaraspossible.OnanOctoberafternoonlastyear,JamesVernon,76,wassupervisingayouthchessclubmeetinginaconferenceroomintheMortonPublicLibraryinMorton,Illinois.About16kids,agedseventotwelve,quietlyfacedoffattwohorizontalrowsoftables,andJameswalkedfrompairtopair,overseeingthematchesandofferingtips.Fourmotherssatofftotheside,waitingfortheirkidstofinishtheweeklyhour-longsession.Suddenly,astockyteenagerwearingglassesburstthroughthedooratthefrontoftheroomJTmgonnakillsomepeople!"heyelled.Atfirst,James,whowasstandingintheaislebetweenthetables,thoughtthebizarresightwasaHalloweenprank,butthenhesawthefive-inchhuntingknivesthattheteenagerwasholdingineachhand.Theteen,whompolicelateridentifiedasDustinBrown,19,shoutedincoherentlyandbegancuttinghisleftforearmwithoneofdieknives."AssoonasIsawthoseknivesandhestartedshouting,Iknewthiswasn'taprank/9saysJames.UIthoughtIcan'tletsomethingterriblehappen."James,aformercomputer-systemsarchitect,spent44monthsintheUSArmyfrom1962to1966.Hehadbeentrainedinhand-to-handcombat,buthedecidednottodothatandtoattempttocalmtheboyinsteadbytalkingtohim."Hey,whoareyou?"“Wheredoyougotoschool?What'stheproblem?"Jamesaskedtheboy."Let'stalkaboutthis.I'lllisten."“Mylifeisterrible,Dustinrepliedashepeereddownatthefloorandcontinuedtocuthisarm.WhileJamestalkedtoDustinononesideoftheroom,SandyRassi,40,themotherofthreeofthechessstudents,stoodupontheotherside.WhensheheardJamessay,"It'sabouttimeforthesekidstoheadhome,"shemotionedsilentlyforthechildrentoquietlyleavetheroomonebyone.WhenDustinfinallylookedup,hesawthatthechairswereempty,andhelungedatJames.“IthinkheattackedmebecauseIwastheonlyoneleft,”saysJames.Dustinswungtheknifetowardtheman'sneckandface,butJamescaughtthebladewithhislefthand.Withhishandbleeding,Jamescontinuedtofight.HegrabbedthenecklaceDustinwaswearingwithhisrighthandandjerkedhimforward.ThenJamespinnedtheboyontoatableonhisleftside,hittingtherightsideofhiscollarbonewithhisuninjuredfist."Iwastryingtogethimtodroptheknives,"saysJames.Itworked.Dustinletgoofbothweapons,andJameskepttheattackerundercontroluntilMortonpoliceofficersarrivedafewminuteslater.【参考答案】OnanOctoberafternoonlastyear,JamesVernon