故乡的味道-读后续写讲评课课件-高三英语二轮复习专项

Whatdoyoudoifyoufeelhomesick?

读后续写讲评课

---“故乡的味道”

SunlightfloodedthroughthewindowwhenTomáswassittingatthekitchentable,strugglingwithaliteraryclassic.Streamersofcloudsdriftedbyhighaboveinthesky.Notfaraway,thehugenewtowerblockslinedtheroad.Thefaintsoundofcarswasdimlyheard.Hismotherwaschoppingtomatoesfortheirdinnerasusual.Suddenlyshesaid,“Youknow,thethingImissmostiscookingareallyhotsalsa(辣番茄酱),withfreshpeppersstraightfromthegarden.”Shesighed.“That’swhatImissmostaboutMérida.”Tomáslookedupfromhisbookinsurprise.Hismotherhadnevertalkedlikethisabouttheiroldlifebefore.Hestudiedhernow.Shelookedalittlesad,butthenshesmiledathimandsweptthepileofchoppedtomatoesintothecookingpot.“ButI’vealreadylearnedalotaboutthisnewcountry,Tomás,”shesaid.“Forastart,I’velearnedthatthere’smorethanonewaytomakeasalsa!”Shewavedapacketofchilispicepowderathim,andtheybothlaughed.

Watchinghismotherbusyinthekitchenpreparingdinner,Tomásthoughtabouttheinsighthismotherhadgivenhimintoherfeelings,andherealizedthathefeltthesamewayaboutleaving.Sure,ithadbeengreatforhisfathertogetthisgoodjob,butithadalsobeenhard.Tomásmissedhisoldhome--especiallythesunandthebeach.AndhismothermissedMérida,too.Shehadlovedworkinginhermarketgarden,sellingthefreshvegetablesthatshehadgrownherselfandthencominghometocookuphuge,tastymealsforherfamily.Tomás’sstomachrumbledatthememories.Hethoughtabouthowdifferentthingswereforthemnow,livinginthislarge,grayapartmentblockwheretherewasnogardenandnofriendsdroppingbytosharetheirdeliciousmeals.Hesighed.AtleasttheywerestillabletospeakregularlyeverynightafterdinnerwithhisgrandmotherbackinMexicooverthecomputer-Grandmother!Abuela!

SuddenlyTomáshadanidea.________________________________________Aweeklater,aboxarrivedfromMexico._____________________________Q1:Whatistheconflictofthestory?Q2:Howcantheconflictbesolved?ReadandinferExcerpt1IdentifyunreasonablecontentPara.2“...thethingImissmostiscookingareallyhotsalsa(辣番茄酱),withfreshpeppersstraightfromthegarden..Para.6AndhismothermissedMérida,too.Shehadlovedworkinginhermarketgarden,sellingthefreshvegetablesthatshehadgrownherselfandthencominghometocookuphuge,tastymealsforherfamily.Excerpt2IdentifyunreasonablecontentPara.8...theywerestillabletospeakregularly...overthecomputer...!IdentifyunreasonablecontentExcerpt3Para.8...abletospeakregularly...overthecomputer-Grandmother!Abuela!Narrativetempo叙事节奏是指故事中人物、事件、场景等整体向前运动变化时出现的张弛、强弱、跳跃、平稳等各种状态。Comment：fromtheperspectiveofnarrativetempo跳跃式叙事：未考虑叙事场景的空间构建；重要场景节奏太快。Tip1:避免跳跃式逻辑，补充必要的过渡信息；重要场景放慢节奏，增添细节描写。Excerpt4&5Thinkandrewrite

SuddenlyTomáshadanidea.“Grandma,canyousendsomepepperstous...”Tomásasked....WhynotturntoAbuelaforhelp?Seizedbytheincreasingeagernesstocontacthisgrandmother,Tomasracedtothecomputer,leavinghismotherincuriosity.Themomenthegotthroughtohisgrandmotherviathevideochat,heloweredhisvoice.Tip1:避免跳跃式逻辑，补充必要的过渡信息；重要场景放慢节奏，增添细节描写。loweredgotthroughtoracedSeized叙事节奏太快：未充分体现矛盾解决的积极影响，没有刻画出主要人物的情感Tip2:慢镜头捕捉关键人物的内心活动、动作、表情、语言等，丰富细节描写。Comment：fromtheperspectiveofnarrativetempoExcerpt6Thinkandrewrite

Aweeklater,aboxarrivedfromMexico.Insideitweremanykindsofvegetablesandaletterreading“lovefromMérida.Momentslater,hismothersetouttocookahugetastymeal."That'swhatImissmost!AtastefromHOME!",blurtedouthismother,herlipscurvingintoabroadbeamandeyesglitteringwithexcitement.NeverhadTomásseenhismothersocheerfulsincetheymovedhere.Tip2:慢镜头捕捉关键人物的内心活动、动作、表情、语言等，丰富细节描写。

表情

语言叙事拖沓:次要信息占据较大篇幅，迟迟没有进入正题。Tip3:利用概述描写次要情节，剔除无关的、具体而感性化的细节。

Comment：fromtheperspectiveofnarrativetempoExcerpt7Thinkandrewrite

SuddenlyTomáshadanidea.WhynotturntoAbuelaforhelp?Seizedbytheincreasingeagernesstocontacthisgrandmother,Tomasracedtothecomputerandgotthroughtohisgrandmotherviathevideochat.Tomássaid,“...Couldyoupleasesendussomevegetables?”Afterlearningthatthemarketgardenstillfedthefamily，

Tip3:利用概述描写次要情节，剔除无关的、具体而感性化的细节。Review:waystoendacontinuation1.首尾呼应2.点题式/感悟式/议论式3.以景结情4.画面定格Readandcomment1.Bythewindowwasabigbowlcontainingtheseedsshininginthebrilliantsunlight.2.Oneyearlater,Tomás’sfamilycouldeventuallyeatsomedeliciousfoodgrownbythemselvesandtheirlivesweregettingbetterandbetter.3.Moonlightwascastontheseeds,which,asifbymagic,hadturnedintopeppersalready.4.Tomásletoutahiccup,beamedandsaid,“IthinkIbegintoenjoyournewlifenow.”5.Sharingthesalsawithhisclassmates,Tomásmadetheacquaintanceofalotofnewfriends.Hegotaccustomedtohisnewlifegradually.6.Thatnighttheyenjoyedanextraordinarydinner,laughterlingeringaroundthehouse.7.Thatnight,theysampledthepalatablesalsa,aswellasthetasteofhometown.8.Theyknewitwasthetasteofhomethatmadeitsospecialandpalatable.9.Itislovethatmakestheworldgoaround.10.Whatwassownwasnotonlythevegetableseedsbutalsotheseedofdeterminationtocontinuetheirtraditiondeepintheirhearts.过渡拓展延伸偏离主要矛盾偏离主要矛盾生搬硬套式Waystoendthecontinuation1.Bythewindowwasabigbowlcontainingtheseedsshininginthebrilliantsunlight.3.Moonlightwascastontheseeds,which,asifbymagic,hadturnedintopeppersalready.6.Thatnighttheyenjoyedanextraordinarydinner,laughterlingeringaroundthehouse.7.Thatnight,theysampledthepalatablesalsa,aswellasthetasteofhometown.8.Theyknewitwasthetasteofhomethatmadeitsospecialandpalatable.10.Whatwassownwasnotonlythevegetableseedsbutalsotheseedofdeterminationtocontinuetheirtraditiondeepintheirhearts.以景结情+首尾呼应以景结情+点题画面定格点题感悟点题点题Waystoendthecontinuation4.Tomásletoutahiccup,beamedandsaid,“IthinkIbegintoenjoyournewlifenow.”画面定格+点题“That’sit!Therealtasteofhometown!”Outlineforthecontinuation:SuddenlyTomáshadanidea._______________________________Aweeklater,aboxarrivedfromMexico.____________________Self-revisioneg.1.excitment2.Couldyousent.../askgrandmothertosent...Summary1.细读原文：找准主要矛盾，充分挖掘前文伏笔。2.把握叙事节奏：慢节奏：细节描写。快节奏：概述描写。3.续写切题/深刻的结尾：首尾呼应、感悟点题、以景结情、画面定格SuddenlyTomáshadanidea.WhynotturntoAbuelaforhelp?Seizedbytheincreasingeagernesstocontacthisgrandmother,hewolfeddownhissupperonceitwasready.Rightafterdinner,Tomasracedtothecomputerbeforehehadevenhadhisfavouritedessert,leavinghismotherincuriosity.Themomenthegotthroughtohisgrandmotherviathevideochat,heloweredhisvoice,whispering,"Abuela,Ineedyourhelp!"AfterTomaspouredouthisidea,Abuelaclappedherhands,promising,"Excellent!You'llreceive