写作操作篇之信达雅

写作操作篇之信达雅【12种高分表达】1.AnadverbPara.1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.(时间副词衔接+环境描写)2.Anadj.phrasePara.1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Desperateandhopeless,Janekneltdown,tearsstreamingdownherface.(并列情绪形容词)Para.2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Weakas/thoughshewas,shestruggledtoherfeet,continuingsearchingforassistance.(状态形容词+as/though引导的倒装句)3.Aparticiple(-ingor-ed)Para.1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Feelingdisappointed,Janehadtostayaloneforanothernight.(现在分词+情绪形容词)Para.2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Feelingrefreshed,shecontinuedtowalkalongthestreamtofindthewayout.(现在分词+状态形容词)4.AconjunctionAshewalked,hewhistled.Althoughhewasafraid,hejumpedrightin.5.AprepositionalphraseAttheendofthelane,hesuddenlystopped.Atthesightofthesnake,thelittlegirlscreamedatthetopofhervoice.6.Adialogueoramonologue“Let’sseewhogetstherefirst!”Rachelshouted,asshepedalledfastandzoomedpastJenny.“Holdontight!”myfatheryelled.(2017.06浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para.1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.“Getintothecar.”PaulshoutedatMac.7.AcharacterMarkisastudiousboywholovesreading.HisclassmatesoftenteasehimforbeingtoohardworkingandtheycallhimMrSmart.Oneafternoon,whilestudyingathome...8.AnemotionThemomentshesawhowshedidforherSciencetest,tearsstartedwellingupinTina’seyesandfallingdownhercheeks.9.AsettingIclosedmyeyestoenjoythegentlebreezeandthesoundsoftheclashingwaves.Gentlyopeningmyeyes,Isawmyparentstakingarelaxingstrollalongthebeach.Thecavewasdarkandeverythingwassilent.Icouldn’tevenseemyhandinfrontofmyface.IknewthisadventurewasgoingtobesomethingthatIwouldneverforget.(2017.11浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para.2:Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.Ilookedoutofthecarwindow,windingrivers,loftymountains,sunnybeachesanddeepvalleysholdingmeentirelyintheirfascination.(视觉+环境描写+拟人)10.AnactionFurrystartedwagginghistailandrunningaroundincircleswhenhesawhismastertakingaleashoutfromthedrawer.Furrywasallreadyforhiseveningwalk.(2017.11浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para.1:Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.Dadexchangedaglancewithme.WhynotcamptosatisfyMom?(动作描写+问句衔接)11.SoundeffectsBOOM,CRASH!Thewindwashowlingoutsideofmyhouse.Wewerehavingaterriblethunderstorm.Iwasveryscared.12.AquestionHaveyoueverbeenonaself-drivingtrip?Letmetellyouanexcitingtripmyfamilytookthissummer.Whydoestroublealwaysfollowmearound?DoIhavea“kickme”signonmybackorsomething?【策略示例】1．阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.Astheeconomywasindecline,somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy-hisnamewasBernard-hadinterestedherverymuch.“Iwishyoucouldseehim,”shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdon'tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney,”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”“SodoI,”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihaveagreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassuretobeagoodone.“Itellyouwhatwecando,”saidJohn.“YouknowthatbigboxofcornUncleJohnsentus?Well,wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花),andputitintopaperbags,andBernardcantakeitaroundtothehousesandsellit.”注意:1.续写词数应为150左右:2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【写作步骤】Step1:精准审题谋篇布局文体记叙文时态一般过去时原文分析原文讲述了一户善良人家的三个孩子在母亲的影响下,开始想办法帮助一个贫困家庭的孩子挣钱。其中一个孩子John想出了制作爆米花让那个孩子去卖的“好主意”。原文中的人和事都是积极向上、充满正能量的,在思想和行动上树立了榜样。续写应围绕John的“好主意”展开。续写提示第一段的开头语是:WhenMrsMeredithheardofJohn’sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.说明MrsMeredith赞同John的“好主意”。本段应着重描写MrsMeredith对孩子们的建议和鼓励,以及John和其他孩子具体是如何做的。第二段的开头语是:Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.据此提示可知,本段应着重描写Bernard这个穷苦孩子是如何去卖爆米花的,以及他的收入情况,更要表达出他的喜悦和对MrsMeredith一家的感激之情。Step2:头脑风暴字字珠玉(1)美词:praise...for...,offersb.sth.,befilledwith,becauseof等。(2)佳句:①Thebasketwasfullofpaperbagswhichwerefilledwithpopcorn.②Neverbeforehadheearnedsomuchmoneyinhislife.Step3:斟酌词句妙笔生花要点1:篮子里装满了纸袋,纸袋里装满了爆米花。一般表达:Thebasketwasfullofpaperbagsandthepaperbagswerefilledwithpopcorn.句式升级(定语从句):Thebasketwasfullofpaperbagswhichwerefilledwithpopcorn.要点2:他以前从没挣过这么多钱。一般表达:Hehadneverearnedsomuchmoneybeforeinhislife.句式升级(倒装句):Neverbeforehadheearnedsomuchmoneyinhislife.Step4:衔接过渡斐然成篇【仿写演练】2．阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Afewyearsago,Ihadtakenapart-timejobinavideostoreatthelocalshoppingmall.Frominsidethestore,I’dbeguntoseethepeoplerushingbyoutside.Thenanelderlywomancaughtmyeye.Althoughslowandunsureofstep,shemovedwithdeliberation(从容).TheelderlywomanhadcomeintothestorealongwithayoungerwomanwhoIguessedwasherdaughter.Thedaughterwasclearlyimpatient,checkingherwatcheveryfewseconds.TheolderwomanthenseparatedfromtheyoungeroneandbegantotickthroughtheDVDsonthenearestshelf,obviouslyexpectingsomeoneelsetohelp.Aftertheslightesthesitation,IwalkedoverandaskedifIcouldhelpherfindsomething.Thewomansmiledupatmeandshowedmeatitlescrawled(乱涂乱画的)onapieceofpaper.Itwasabituncleartomakeout.Clearlyapersonlookingforitknewalittleaboutmovies,aboutquality.RatherthanrushingofftolocatetheDVDforthewoman,IaskedhertowalkwithmesoIcouldshowherwhereshecouldfindit.Lookingback,IthinkIwantedtoenjoyhercompanyforamoment.Somethingaboutherdeliberatemovementsremindedmeofmyownmother,who’dpassedawaythepreviousChristmas.Aswewalkedalongthebackofthestore,Iintroducedhertothedifferentsections:oldtelevisionshows,actionmovies,cartoons,sciencefiction.Thewomanseemedgladoftheunrushedcompanyandcasualconversation.Wefoundthemovie,andIcomplimentedheronherchoice.Shesmiledandtoldmeitwasoneshe’denjoyedwhenshewasherdaughter’sageandthatshehopedshewouldenjoyitasmuchasshehad.Maybe,shesaidwithahintofwistfulness(一丝渴望),herdaughtercouldenjoyitwithherownyoungchildren.Then,whentheolderwoman’sturninlinecame,shepaidincash,countingoutthedollarsandcoinswiththesamesurenessshe’ddisplayedearlier.注意：1.续写短文的词数150左右；2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头已为你写好。Paragraph1：AsthecashierputtheDVDintoaplasticbag,Iwalkedovertotheyoungerwoman.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Theelderlywomanmovedwithherdeliberateslownessbacktoherdaughter._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________写作操作篇之信达雅1．WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.So,theywenttothelocalsupermarkettogether.Theyboughtsomespecialbagsforpopcorn.Whentheygothome,theymadealotofpopcornandputitinthespecialbags.Withthepopcorn,theywenttoBernard’shome.TheytoldBernardhowtosellthepopcorn.Bernardandhisparentswereverygrateful.AndtheMeredithfamilyalsofeltveryhappytohelpthisfamily.Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.Hetookthepopcornaroundtothehousesandsoldallhispopcorn.Heearnedalotofmoney.Then,hewantedtobeself-dependent.Therefore,heaskedMrs.Meredithtoteachhimhowtomakepopcorn.Afterthat,notonlydidhesellpopcorn,buthealsoaddedcreamandsalttothepopcorntomakeittastebetter.Bernardgrewuptobearemarkableman.HedidnotforgetthehelpofMeredith’sfamily,andhealsodidwhathecouldtohelpthoseinneed.【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了善良的梅雷迪斯一家住在一个小社区里。他们想帮助一个贫困的家庭。那家的男主人生病卧床,女主人要照顾丈夫无法外出赚钱，家中的小男孩伯纳德也做不了什么事情，生活十分困难。后来梅雷迪斯的孩子想出一个主意，制作爆米花让伯纳德去卖爆米花挣钱故事。【详解】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“梅雷迪思太太听说约翰的主意后，也觉得很好。”可知，第一段可描写梅雷迪思和孩子们一起制作爆米花的过程。②由第二段首句内容“一切准备就绪后，伯纳德开始了他的新生意。”可知，第二段可描写伯纳德卖光了爆米花并且挣到了很多钱，以及表达对梅雷迪思一家的感恩之情。2.续写线索：梅雷迪思太太觉得主意很好——决定制作白爆米花——拿着爆米花去了伯纳德家——伯纳德开始了他的新生意——挣到了很多钱——感悟3.词汇激活行为类①回到家：gothome/wentbackhome/arrivehome②.开始：startedout/setout③.挣钱：earnmoney/makemoney情绪类①.感激的：grateful/thankful/appreciative②.高兴的：happy/glad【点睛】[高分句型1].Whentheygothome,theymadealotofpopcornandputitinthespecialbags.（运用了when引导的时间状语从句。）[高分句型2].Afterthat,notonlydidhesellpopcorn,buthealsoaddedcreamandsalttothepopcorntomakeittastebetter.（运用了notonly…butalso…的固定句型以及notonly位于句首时，句子需要部分倒装。）2．AsthecashierputtheDVDintoaplasticbag,Iwalkedovertotheyoungerwoman.“Isthatyourmom?”Iasked,halfwayexpectinghertotellmeitwasnoneofmybusiness.Butsherolledhereyesandsaid,“Yeah.”IsmiledtoshowherIwasn’tcriticizing.“Cherishher,”Isaid.AndthenIansweredhercuriousexpressionbysaying,“Whenshe’sgone,it’sthelittlemoments