高中英语作文

高中英语作文假设你是晨光中学的学生李津，你从学校公告栏得知“城市绿色环保联盟

(UrbanGreenEnvironmentalProtectionAlliance)”

正在招募校园志愿者，负责校园及社区的环保宣传活动，你希望成为其中一员，请用英文写一封电子邮件申请加入。内容主要包括:(1)

自我介绍(2)申请条件

(环保相关经历、沟通能力等);(3)

参加意图

(推广低碳生活、带动更多同学参与环保)(4)

希望获准。注意:(1)

词数不少于

100;(2)

可适当加入细节，使内容充实，行文连贯(3)

开头已给出，不计入总词数。DearSirorMadam,以下为草稿DearSirorMadam,I'mLijin,astudentfromChenGuangSeniorHighSchool.LearningthatyouarerecruitingvolunteersforUrbanGreenEnvironmentalProtectionAlliancefromtheschoolnotice，I'mwritingtoapplyforaposition.Ihavebeentakingpartinavarietyofenvironmentalactivitiesfornearly5years.Ithasbeenapartofmylife.ThroughtheseactivitiesI'venotonlylearnedalotaboutenvironmentalprotectionbutalsoimprovedmycommunicationability.IfIcanjoin,Iwillpromotelow-carbonlifeandaskmyclassmateparticipantintheenvironmentalprotectionactivities.Ithinkit'sagoodopportunityforallofustocontributetooursocietyandimproveourselves.Hopefully,Icangetthischanceandworktogetherforourenvironment.

Yourearliestreplywouldbehighlyappreciated.

得分要点分析评分维度得分情况详细点评内容完整性

(5/5分)满分四个要点全部覆盖：自我介绍、环保经历与沟通能力、推广低碳生活带动同学、希望获准。语言准确性

(6/10分)中等偏上少量拼写错误（participant）、用词不当（avarietyofenvironmentalactivities

可优化）、个别搭配不准确。结构与连贯性

(7/10分)良好段落层次清晰：申请意图→自身条件→参加意图→礼貌结尾。逻辑顺畅，衔接自然。三、逐句精讲与优化第一句（自我介绍+申请意图）I'mLijin,astudentfromChenGuangSeniorHighSchool.LearningthatyouarerecruitingvolunteersforUrbanGreenEnvironmentalProtectionAlliancefromtheschoolnotice，I'mwritingtoapplyforaposition.老师点评：拼写小问题：Lijin

应为

LiJin（中文名字通常分开写）。fromtheschoolnotice

位置可以调整，放在

Learningthat

之前更自然。标点问题：中文逗号

，

应为英文逗号

,。优化方案：I'mLiJin,astudentfromChenGuangSeniorHighSchool.HavinglearnedfromtheschoolnoticethatyouarerecruitingvolunteersfortheUrbanGreenEnvironmentalProtectionAlliance,I'mwritingtoapplyforaposition.第二句（申请条件1：环保经历）Ihavebeentakingpartinavarietyofenvironmentalactivitiesfornearly5years.老师点评：avarietyofenvironmentalactivities

可以更简洁：variousenvironmentalactivities。5

在正式邮件中建议写成

five。优化方案：Ihavebeentakingpartinvariousenvironmentalactivitiesfornearlyfiveyears.第三句（申请条件2：环保已成为生活一部分）Ithasbeenapartofmylife.老师点评：这句话很好，表达了环保已成为习惯。可以保留，也可以与上一句合并。优化方案：

保持，或整合为：Environmentalprotectionhasbecomeanimportantpartofmylife.第四句（申请条件3：沟通能力）ThroughtheseactivitiesI'venotonlylearnedalotaboutenvironmentalprotectionbutalsoimprovedmycommunicationability.老师点评：communicationability

建议改为

communicationskills（更地道）。Throughtheseactivities

后加逗号更流畅。优化方案：Throughtheseactivities,I'venotonlylearnedalotaboutenvironmentalprotectionbutalsoimprovedmycommunicationskills.第五句（参加意图）IfIcanjoin,Iwillpromotelow-carbonlifeandaskmyclassmateparticipantintheenvironmentalprotectionactivities.老师点评：错误❌

participant

是名词，应为动词

participate。askmyclassmate

中的

classmate

应为复数

classmates。participateintheenvironmentalprotectionactivities

中的

the

可以省略。promotelow-carbonlife

可以说

promotealow-carbonlifestyle。优化方案：IfIamaccepted,Iwillpromotealow-carbonlifestyleandencouragemyclassmatestoparticipateinenvironmentalprotectionactivities.第六句（参加意图2：意义）Ithinkit'sagoodopportunityforallofustocontributetooursocietyandimproveourselves.老师点评：这句很好，表达了个人成长与社会贡献的双重意义。contributetooursociety

中的

oursociety

可以改为

ourcommunity（更贴合校园志愿者的范围）。优化方案：Ithinkit'sagreatopportunityforallofustocontributetoourcommunityandimproveourselves.第七句（希望获准）Hopefully,Icangetthischanceandworktogetherforourenvironment.老师点评：Hopefully

用得很好，表达了期待。worktogetherforourenvironment

可以说

worktogethertoprotectourenvironment。优化方案：Hopefully,Icangetthischanceandworktogethertoprotectourenvironment.第八句（结尾）Yourearliestreplywouldbehighlyappreciated.老师点评：非常地道的申请信结尾句，完美！保留。优化方案：

保持。四、完整优化版范文（125词，符合要求）DearSirorMadam,I'mLiJin,astudentfromChenGuangSeniorHighSchool.HavinglearnedfromtheschoolnoticethatyouarerecruitingvolunteersfortheUrbanGreenEnvironmentalProtectionAlliance,I'mwritingtoapplyforaposition.Ihavebeentakingpartinvariousenvironmentalactivitiesfornearlyfiveyears.Environmentalprotectionhasbecomeanimportantpartofmylife.Throughtheseactivities,I'venotonlylearnedalotaboutenvironmentalprotectionbutalsoimprovedmycommunicationskills.IfIamaccepted,Iwillpromotealow-carbonlifestyleandencouragemyclassmatestoparticipateinenvironmentalprotectionactivities.Ithinkit'sagreatopportunityforallofustocontributetoourcommunityandimproveourselves.Hopefully,Icangetthischanceandworktogethertoprotectourenvironment.Yourearliestreplywouldbehighlyappreciated.Yourssincerely,LiJin五、本次作文的主要问题总结问题类型具体表现改进方法拼写错误participant→participate注意动词和名词的区别用词不当communicationability→communicationskills记住常见搭配：skills

比

ability

更常用名词单复数classmate→classmates泛指“同学们”时用复数冠词缺失promotelow-carbonlife→promotealow-carbonlifestylelifestyle

前加

a介词选择contributetooursociety→contributetoourcommunity校园范围用

community

更贴切六、写作思路总结（申请信的标准结构）你的结构非常完整，是申请信的典范：自我介绍+申请意图（身份、从哪里得知信息、写信目的）申请条件（环保经历、沟通能力）参加意图（推广低碳生活、带动同学）希望获准+礼貌结尾（期待回复、表达感谢）高分秘诀：经历要具体（“五年参与环保活动”）——你做到了能力要明确（“学到了知识，提升了沟通能力”）——你做到了意图要清晰（“推广低碳、带动同学”）——你做到了结尾要礼貌（“期待回复”）——你做到了七、必备词汇与句型积累（申请信类）表达“申请意图”：中文英文得知贵组织正在招募志愿者Learningthatyouarerecruitingvolunteers写信申请一个职位writetoapplyforaposition表达“申请条件”：中文英文参加各种活动takepa