搞笑5人英语剧本.doc

搞笑5人英语剧本西门吹雪与叶孤城 演员表：西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼king旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .Birdsaredancinginthecold .Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .Windiscominginsilence.Another mysteriousmanapproaches .Y与X相遇X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname? Y:ha ha ,Iwontchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. Imthemostfamous-YeGucheng. Whoareyou?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?X:Yes,whatiswrong? Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?X:Great, youknowme !Y抱腿：Please, please Dontkillme! letmeyougo!X:No, Imustkillyou !Y:Idontwanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Dont forceme!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?Y:pleasedrinkit!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,haY:Doyoustillwanttokillme?X:Sure, must! milkismilk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?X:ImsureIwont!Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdontbeatyourthistime, youllneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHaX可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?Y:What ?X:Toliet?Y:What ?X:The “WC”?Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!X:Thanks,byebye.Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!Y:Whoareyou?H:Hua-man-lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,haH惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!Y:Youareright!H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?Y:Yes,Itsverygood.H:Ok, followme, Letsgotoseemyking!Y:Ok,Lets go!第二幕：无间道H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.H走到Y前，婚礼进行曲起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?Y: Yes,Ido.K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Onlyyou(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isnt it ?Y:How cleverX冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!X:Forgiveme? Why?Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, Illtellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell theladys“WC”!Y:Ilikegoingladys WC .IIIthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(又拿出一袋牛奶)X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)K: ayixidailu?Whatsthemeaning? whyIalsocantunderstandyou?X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.K:Dont saythat“you love me”. Illkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You-kill-me?come, come(上去抓住K)K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!X:Howcanyoukillme? hahaY:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, IllgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou haveavacation.Y:Thats good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! HahahaY:Hahaha-H:Wheressomewhere?K:What? Y:Doyouwanttogoladys“WC”?X:Yes,II do.H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcantgotoLadys “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!X: whatifImthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutImstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLadys WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng-the wifeofX .Imaspy.K惊讶: !you-you-YouareLuXiaofeng ? Xwife ?Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)willdie ,goandseehim ,please .H扑倒在的身边：,dot die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning ! K:what amoving story !I was impressed !Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneednt resume ! (H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，吓跑.音乐再见，警察起)Y痛苦状:dontleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat Im wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you-help me . Ill never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影我的父亲母亲原声音乐起）H: X , oh , no ,you cant die ,we will go home together .X:gohome ! ?H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor. promise meyou will survive. that youwillnevergiveup. nomatter what happens. no matter howhopeless. promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.H: