愚人节的英语幽默笑话.doc

愚人节的英语幽默笑话 1.whatthedayisittoday? todayisaprilfoolsday. ohyouarewrongtodayismarchthe31th.ifyoudontbelievemepleasepickupthecalendar. ohitisreallyaprilfoolsday. hahayouwerecheated 2.bestwishesandibelieveyourenglishwillbebetterandbetter 3.ayoungblindboyisbeingtuckedintobedbyhismother.themomsaysnowbilly,prayreallyhardtonightandtomorrow,yourwishwilletrue.billysays,ok,mommy.andgoestosleep.thenextmorning,billywakesupandscreamsmommyimstillblind,mywishdidntetrue.themomanswered,iknowaprilfools 4.wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):iwishiwereanewspapersoillbeinyourhandsallday. husband:iwishthattoo,soicouldchangeyoudaily 5.alittleboyaskedhisfather:daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried? thefatherreplied:idontknowson.imstillpaying 6.atmidnightfathersawthathismarriedsonleavinghome.heaskshim:whatareyoudoing? thesonreplied:dadiamfedupwithmylifemynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachotherihavetopaybillsformyinlaws,andihatethislifeiwanttogofarfromhere,iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andiwanttohaveeveryfunoflife fathersaid:waitiamingwithyou 7.awomangoestoenglandtoattenda2weekpanytrainingsession.herhusbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip. thewifeanswered:thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou? thehusbandlaughedandsaid:anenglishgirl thewomankeptquietandleft.twoweekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:sohoney,howwasthetrip? thewife:verygood,thankyou. thehusband:and,whathappenedtomypresent? thewife:whichpresent? thehusband:whatiaskedfor:theenglishgirl? thewife:oh,thatwell,ididwhaticould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifitsagirl 8.acouplegoestoanartgallery.theyfindapictureofanakedwomanwithonlyherprivatescoveredwithleaves.thewifedoesntlikeitandmoveson,butthehusbandkeepslooking.thewifeasks,whatareyouwaitingfor?thehusbandreplies,autumn. 9.amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhacks(打)himontheheadwithafryingpan.whatthehellwasthatfor?heasks.thatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenamemaryellenwrittenonit,shereplies.dontbesilly,hesays.twoweeksagowheniwenttotheraces(赛马),maryellenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesibeton.sheseemssatisfiedatthis,andsheapologizes.threedayslaterhesagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenails(打俚语)himwithan