浙江省高考英语 第三部分 写作导练案 第二讲 读后续写课件.ppt

第二讲读后续写 李仕才 典例展示 2017 浙江6月高考 阅读下面短文 根据所给情节进行续写 使之构成一个完整的故事 onabright warmjulyafternoon machollan aprimaryschoolteacher wascyclingfromhishometoalaskawithhisfriends oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair buttheyhadencouragedmactocarryon andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon asmacpedaled 骑行 alongalone hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday thenmacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim man that sabigdog hethought butwhenhelookedtotheside hesawinstantlythatitwasn tadogatall butawolf quicklycatchingupwithhim mac sheartjumped hefoundouthiscanofbearspray withonehandonthebars hefiredthesprayatthewolf abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal andtomac srelief itfellback shakingitshead butaminutelater itwasbyhissideagain thenitattackedthebackofmac sbike tearingopenhistentbag hefiredatthewolfasecondtime andagain itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase 追赶 macwaspedalinghardnow hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoslowdown hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim heknewthatoncehehitthehill he dbeeasycaughtupandthewolf steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh atthismoment paulandbeckyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoalaska theydidn tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad abitlater theyspottedwhatthey too assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike astheygotcloser theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf macheardalargevehiclebehindhim hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast justadozenyardsawaynow 注意 1 所续写短文的词数应为150左右 2 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语 3 续写部分分为两段 每段的开头语已为你写好 4 续写完成后 请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语 一 审题 思路导航 二 抓住段首句设问续写段首1 thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim 设问 whydiditstop howdidmacfeel whatwouldmac pauldo 续写段首2 afewminuteslater theothertwocyclistsarrived 设问 aftertheyarrived whatdidtheysee howdidtheyfeel whatwouldtheydo 三 谋篇 1 续写材料第一段所给的首句是thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim 在行文过程中应抓住关键词语thecarstopped 再发挥丰富的想象 把paul停车后如何在千钧一发之际拯救mac的过程写得趣味横生又合乎情理 2 第二段所给的首句是afewminuteslater theothertwocyclistsarrived 起承上启下的作用 朋友到达之后看到 听到并做了什么 最后应该提炼思想性和体现价值观的传递正能量的元素 如珍爱生命 学会合作或感激等 以提升文章的档次 3 在续写时 除了注意原文给出的关键词语 还需要注意以下线索 whydidthewolfchasemac whatdidpaulseewhendrivingthecaronthewaytoalaska hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast justadozenyardsawaynow whydidhestopthecar 4 在确定了思路和内容之后 续写时 要注意句子结构的多样性 语言的丰富性 并通过句与句之间连接词的正确使用 使上下文连贯 参考范文 paragraph1 thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim paulrolleddownthewindowandyelled man getinthecar withoutanyhesitation macjumpedoffthebicycleanddashedintothebackseatofthecar atthesametime thewolfcaughtup luckily thecar sdoorwasfirmenoughtostopthewolf however theycouldn tjuststaythere becausethewolfwasundertheprotectionofthelaw theycouldn tkillit sopaulpressedthebuttonofthehorntomakeanalert finally thewolfleftanddisappeared paragraph2 afewminuteslater theothertwocyclistsarrived theywereshockedtoseethatmac stentbagwasinpoorcondition andtheywereevenmoreshockedtohearthathemetawolf afterashortrest macwasmuchbetter sotheythankedpaulandbeekyanddecidedtocontinuepedalingtoalaska timeflew thesunwashidingitslastgoldlikeamiser thoughtired macthoughtofhiswifeandlovelychildrenagain hehadsuchahorriblebutexcitingexperiencetoshare 一 续写策略1 读后续写不是随心所欲地写 而是要在所给段落开头和所标示关键词的帮助下完成续写部分 150词左右 其中 段落开头语与传统写作中的开头语类似 在某种程度上引导你的思路向哪方面发展 所续写部分不能脱离各自的段落开头语另起炉灶 要在其基础上进行拓展发挥 2 续写所给语言材料多是记叙文之故事类文章 情节曲折跌宕 线索性和逻辑性较强 考生要抓住故事的叙事线索 依据原文的写作思路续写文章 并适当发散 技法指导 3 读后续写要求读写并重 需要考生对给定材料精确理解 这样所续写部分才不至于偏离主题 就这方面而言 读后续写有点类似阅读理解题中对文章后续发展的推断 如 whatwouldhappennext 4 续写部分的思路和内容并不一定是唯一的 考生可根据自己对上文材料的理解 对文章的结尾做出不同的诠释 二 续写步骤1 精读文章 确定文章线索 每篇文章都有各自独特的写作思路 通过精读文章 找到该篇文章的写作线索 如是以时间为线索还是以空间为线索等 这样有利于考生 顺藤摸瓜 结尾 2 仔细审题 明确续写要求 3 回扣原文 揣摩续写思路 根据文章后面的要求 再次快速回读短文 抓住文章的思路 结合续写段段首的提示语 最终确定续写段落的思路 同时结合文章中标有下划线的关键词语 确定续写段落的内容 4 拟定草稿 修改错词病句 5 标出续写部分中使用到的原材料中标有下划线的关键词语 5个以上 三 续写方法1 精读所给语言材料 理清文章脉络并明确作者的论点 确定文章主旨 2 寻求前文与续写段段首句之间的内在联系 站在作者的角度 设计并发展情节 想象要合理 情节要连贯 3 后续情节一般为故事的高潮或延续 是原作者声音的延续 态度的延伸 因此 要尽量符合原文思路 并求得与读者的心理共鸣 让读者回味无穷 4 续写时心态要端正 所续写内容要积极 健康向上 把事物美好的一面展示出来 5 利用自己已有的知识和经验 在继承原作者风格和语言基础之上 准确 地道地表达 充分展示语言的表现力 提高关联词与过渡语的使用率 增强整句表现力 6 如果所给短文为议论文 那么议论文中的段落首句多为主题句 观点鲜明 续写时 要围绕段落分论点确定论证方法 如正反对比 例证等 四 注意事项1 词数要求 词数少于130的 从总分中减去2分 2 与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度 3 内容的丰富性和对所标出关键词语的应用 4 应用语言结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性 5 上下文的连贯性 实战演练 阅读下面短文 根据所给情节进行续写 使之构成一个完整的故事 wheniwaselevenyearsold ihadabigaccident igetscaredevennowwhenithinkaboutthattime iwentskatingnearmyhouse thereweremanypeople andisawsomeofthemfallingontheice itwasmyfirsttimetogoiceskating soiwasnervous iwaswonderinghowtoskate iwentwithafriendwhowasveryskillful hespentsometimeteachingmehowtoskate butididn tlearnmuch heleftmeandskatedallaround assoonasheleft ifelldown ienviedtheotherpeoplebecausetheycouldskatewell iwasboredbecauseikeptfallingsoitookoffmyskatesandjustwalkedaroundontheiceinmyshoes itwascoldandmyhandswerefrozen suddenly isteppedonsomethingthatwasnothard whatwasit itwasaweakplaceintheice whenisteppedthere isankundertheice ithoughtthatiwasgoingtodie butididmybesttograbsomethingtogetoutfromundertheice itriedtograbtheedgeoftheice butitwasverydifficultforaneleven year old itseemedlikeaverylongtime likeayear then fortunately someonehelpedme hegrabbedmyarmsandpulledmeup so ilivedandi mstillalivetoday ithankedhim atthattime myfriendcameback iwasannoyedathimbecausehewassupposedtotakecareofme buthedidn t hewasembarrassed whenitookataxihome thetaxidriverwassurprisedandaskedwhathadhappened ididn twanttosayanythingbecauseiwastiredandscared evennow wheneverithinkaboutthattime ifeeluncomfortable idon twanttogoskatingagainevennow 注意 1 所续写短文的词数应为150左右 2 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语 3 续写部分分为两段 每段的开头语已为你写好 4 续写完成后 请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语 思路点拨本文讲述了作者11岁去滑冰的一段经历 由于自己的滑冰技能不如别人娴熟 因而独自一人尝试练习总会跌跌撞撞 从而对滑冰这件事留下了不好的印象 由续写第一段的提示语 itwaslongbeforeiwentskatingonceagain 很久以后我才又一次去滑冰 可知 这一次去滑冰 作者会抱着不一样的态度 那么首先得明确一点 对于这次滑冰 一定要有一个妥当的理由 不然作者自己是不会去的 显然 作者已不在是当时那个自己 他以前就不是特别擅长滑冰 因此他此次不会像当时那样独自一人去练习 而是极有可能同别人一起去的 与上一次的经历相比 这一次不 思路导航 会进展得特别顺利 但是起码有所进步 毕竟一次学好很难 那么 写作时宜注意练习滑冰以及有人陪同指导滑冰的细节问题 同时 在作者的心理活动方面 也是与过去滑冰时的心情有所变化的 那应是一个起伏的过程 此处对作者心情的描述可以客观中性些 对滑冰的恐惧情绪的描述则相对减弱些 由续写第二段的提示语 however eversincethenihaven tfoundanytimetogoskating 可知 作者以后抽不出时间滑冰了 那么这一段应写一下作者为什么抽不出时间去滑冰的原因了 毋庸置疑 这势必与作者工作或家庭上的繁琐事情有关 换句话说 作者随着年龄的增长 找工作 结婚 抚养孩子等都有可能成为作者忙碌的理由 除此以外 随着时间的流逝 作者对滑冰的经历必然是有感悟的 那么就需要增加一些作者对过去或者未来的想法 最后 可尝试与前面的内容有所呼应 续写词汇已给提示词汇 wentskating skillful felldown skatewell fortunately takecareofme scared wheneverithinkabout可能用到的词汇 advise decide followone sadvice patiently grateful careful loseheart failure facebravely 参考范文1 paragraph1 itwaslongbeforeiwentskatingonceagain andthatwaswhenwegraduatedfromtheuniversity ourmonitoradvisedusalltogoskating andidecidedtofollowhisadvicealthoughistillfeltalittlescared soonwewereactiveontheice oneofmyroommateswasveryskillfulandshepatientlyexplainedtomehowtostart stepbystep iwasabletostandupontheicemyselfandheadedoutalittle notsosteadilyandifelldownmanytimes iwasgratefultoherforimanagedtoskatethatday thoughicouldn tbelikeothers whocouldskate well ihadanicetimethatday paragraph2 however eversincethenihaven tfoundanytimetogoskating becauseimmediatelyidivedintotheapplyingforthesuitablejobs andthen fortunately imetmyhoneyandgotmarried aswasexpected onebabycameintotheworldandwasnowsmilingtomeeveryday asfortheskating maybeicouldbeontheiceagainwhenmybabyisgrownupandasksmeonehundredtimes 参考范文2 paragraph1 itwaslongbeforeiwentskatingonceagain accompaniedbyoneofmyfriends thistimeiwascarefulandcautious andmyfriendtookspecialcareofme iwassofortunatethistimethatimanagednottofalldown graduallyilearnedtoskatewellandbecameskillful ifeltveryconfidentandnolongerscared paragraph2 however eversincethenihaven tfoundanytimetogoskating notbecauseidonotwanttogoskating butbecauseiamtoobusyworking i velearnedalotfromthesetwoskatingexperiences weallhavemomentsofdesperation butifwecanfacethembravely that swhenwefindouthowstrongwereallyare whateveryoudo youmusthavethepatiencetodoitaswellastheskill remember nevergettoomuchpridebecauseofvictoryorloseheartincaseoffailure 阅读下面短文 根据所给情节进行续写 使之构成一个完整的故事 an80 year oldmanwassittingonthesofainhishousealongwithhis45 year oldhighlyeducatedson suddenlyacrow 乌鸦 perched 栖息 ontheirwindow thefatheraskedhisson whatisthis thesonreplied itisacrow afterafewminutes thefatheraskedhissonforthesecondtime whatisthis thesonsaid father ihavejustnowtoldyou it sacrow afteralittlewhile theoldfatheragainaskedhissonforthethirdtime whatisthis atthistimesomeexpressionofirritation 恼怒 wasfeltintheson stonewhenhesaidtohisfatherwitharebuff 生硬回绝 it sacrow acrow alittlewhilelater thefatheragainaskedhissonthefourthtime whatisthis thistime thesonshoutedathisfather whydoyoukeepaskingmethesamequestionagainandagain althoughihavetoldyousomanytimes itisacrow areyounotabletounderstandthis alittlelaterthefatherwenttohisroomandcamebackwithanoldtattered 发皱的 diary whichhehadmaintainedsincehissonwasborn onopeningapage heaskedhissontoreadthatpage whenthesonreadit thefollowingwordswerewritteninthediary todaymylittlesonagedthreewassittingwithmeonthesofa whenacrowwassittingonthewindow mysonaskedme23timeswhatitwas andirepliedtohimall23timesthatitwasacrow ihuggedhimlovinglyeachtimeheaskedmethesamequestion ididnotatallfeelirritatedbutiratherfeltaffectionformyinnocentson 注意 1 所续写短文的词数应为150左右 2 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语 3 续写部分分为两段 每段的开头语已为你写好 4 续写完成后 请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语 思路点拨本篇为记叙文 一位八十岁的老人和他的成年儿子坐在沙发上 同一个问题老人才问了三遍 儿子就已经十分恼怒和没耐心了 第四遍时 儿子已开始对他大吼了 伤心的父亲拿出一本发皱的日记让儿子读其中一页的内容 儿子小时候问了23遍同一个问题 父亲仍然耐心解释 由全文大意以及文章最后的结尾部分可知这里是父子不同态度的对比 上文叙述了父亲让儿子看自己的日记 由续写第一段afterreadingthediary可知 后面的内容应是儿子看了日记后的感受 以及对一些问题的思考 由续写第二段出现的关键词feelingashamed可知 儿子对自己的行为感到愧疚 所以下文中儿子会对自己的行为道歉 然后向父亲保证以后好好对待父亲 思路导航 续写词汇已给提示词汇 son father whatisthis itisacrow time irritation thesamequestion affection可能用到的词汇 tear reflect thinkback patiently oldage burden apology forgive promise carefor treatwell 参考范文 paragraph1 afterreadingthediary thesonwasfilledwithtearsandbegantoreflectonthedayswhenheusedtosittogetherwithhisfather hisfatherwouldpatientlyanswerthe same questionall23timeswithoutfeelingirritationwhilehisfatheraskedhimthesamequestionjustfourtimes thesonthoughttohimself ifiattainoldage howwillmysonlookatme willhethinkofmeasaburden willheshoutatmebecauseofmypoorsight poorhearingorpoorunderstanding paragraph2 feelingashamed thesongotdownonhiskneesbeforehisfather hemadeanapologytohisfather begginghisfathertoforgivehimforhisbadbehavior hesaidthisaloud ipromisetoseeyouhappyforever dad itisyouwhohavecaredformeeversinceiwasalittlechild showeringyourselflessaffectiononme youworkedhardtomakemoneysothaticouldaffordtogotouniversity iwillserveyouinthebestday 阅读下面短文 根据所给情节进行续写 使之构成一个完整的故事 iwastouchedthroughexperiences memories books stories animals angels andmostofallotherpeople peoplehavemovedmeandmolded 对 影响重大 mewithmomentsofloveandexamplesofkindness onetimeonthedaybeforechristmasmanyyearsagowheniwasaminimumwagemillworker ifoundmyselfwithverylittlemoneyandverylittletimetobuymysmallchildrenafewsimpletoys iknewthattheywouldhavetobecheaponesandihopedmychildrenwouldlikethem ihatednothavingenoughtogivethemmore ihatedbeingpoor andihatedfeelingbadatchristmasratherthanhappy ipulled intoastoreparkinglotandcountedmymoneyagain itwasn tmuchbutmaybeicouldgetsomethingsmallwithit asiwasgettingoutofthecarinoticedthesalvationarmybell ringerattheentrance ifeltbadagainbecauseididn tfeelicouldspareanythingtogivehim istartedwalkingtowardstheentrancewhentwocarspulledintoemptyparkingspotsinfrontofme thefirstwasashiny newcadillacandifeltatwingeofjealousywhenisawit hownice ithought woulditbetohaveenoughmoneytobuyacarlikethat thesecondcar though wasanancientsedan 轿车 morebeat upandrustythantheoneiwasdriving amanrushedoutofthecadillacandhurriedintothestorerightpastthebellringerwithoutasecondglance outoftheoldsedancameayoungmotherwiththreesmallchildrenintow 紧随着 herclotheslookedaswornoutashercar yetshestoppedinfrontofthebellringer smiled openedherpurse anddroppedabillinhisredkettle 钱罐 注意 1 所续写短文的词数应为150左右 2 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语 3 续写部分分为两段 每段的开头语已为你写好 4 续写完成后 请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语 思路点拨本文为夹叙夹议文 作者是一位收入很低的母亲 当圣诞节来临时 她很为孩子们的礼物犯愁 在商店外面时 她看到两辆对比鲜明的轿车 一辆是凯迪拉克豪车 cadillac 另一辆是破旧的轿车 可是让她惊讶的是 豪车车主对救世军撞钟人的募捐活动熟视无睹 倒是那位旧车车主慷慨解囊 由续写第一段出现的关键词inastonishment可知 续写此段时需注意作者的内心变化 下文应向令作者感到惊讶的方面写 在作者的描述中 从羡慕豪车的主人到最后看到他和开旧车的女士对待爱心捐助的不同行为之后 作者对他们的不同举动的思考 以及在她内心中对这两位人物所给予的评价 都可以算是作者的内心的起伏变化 思路导航 由续写第二段段首语可知 此段仍要继续围绕作者自己内心的感受来写 但比第一段更具体化了 分析上下文以及所出现的关键词alltheloveandjoy可推断 续写此段应往圣诞节的精神 给予和奉献这个角度贴近 那么 作者势必要向那位开旧车的女士学习 为穷人献爱心 因此所续写的内容要体现出作者自己是如何献爱心的 然后再承接前文讲的为孩子买礼物犯愁的事 续写词汇已给提示词汇 christmas children hated pulledinto car bellringer purse dropped kettle可能用到的词汇 think helpthepoor judge respect example wish enjoy wonderful meaningful love 参考范文 paragraph1 istoodthereforaminuteinastonishment maybe ithoughttomyself it sbettertoberichontheinsideinsteadoftheoutside thatrichmanshouldhavedonesomethingtohelpthepoor buthedidn t sometimesitwasreallywrongtojudgeapersonbyhisorherappearance ireallyhadrespectforthepoormotherfromthebottomofmyheart shesetagoodexampleforherchildrentofollow paragraph2 inthatsecondawarmthtouchedme myjealousyandhatred 憎恨 leftme andalltheloveandjoythatarechristmasfilledme ifishedabilloutofmyownpurse droppeditinthesalvationarmykettle andwishedthebell ringeramerrychristmas ifoundafewfunthingstogivemykidsanddrovehomewithmyheartsinging iknewitwasgoingtobeawonderfulchristmas icouldhardlywaittoseemychildrenenjoyingthepresentsboughtforthem includingaspecialgift loveforthoseinneed 阅读下面短文 根据所给情节进行续写 使之构成一个完整的故事 mrbrownlivedinahouselessthantwomilesawayfromhisoffice hewasthereforeabletodrivehomeeverydayforlunch everytimehedroveinthemiddleoftheday hefoundcarswereparkedintheroadoutsidehishouse andtherewasnoroomforhisowncar hehadtodrivetwoblocksfartherbeforehecouldfindaplacetopark thenhehadtowalkhome thismadehimveryangry hehadputupaboardwhichread noparking inthegardenfacingtheroad butnobodyseemedtopayattentiontoit peopleonlyobeyedapolicenotice butnotaprivateone therewerenoparkedcarswheretherewasablueboardwithwhitelettersonit policenotice noparking mrsbrownsuggestedthatheshouldstealapolicenotice buthedarednot beingafraidofgoingtoprison shethensuggestedthathemakeonejustlikeapolicenotice hesaidhewasnotapolicema