House第三季剧本.doc

HOUSE M.D.3X01: MeaningOriginal Airdate: 9/5/2006Written by: Lawrence Kaplow, David Shore, Garret Lerner & Russel FriendDirected by: Deran SarafianTranscript by: JennaDISCLAIMER: We dont own HOUSE. Its owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions.This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.(We see a kids pool party going on, but from a rather fuzzy point of view, all the sounds seem to be amplified - turns out were seeing it from the eyes of a man - Richard. Scene now shifts to a man sitting down watching the party a little further away from the pool in the shade. Theres a woman operating a barbeque) Arlene: Mark? Mark! Mark, please ask your father if he wants a burger. I know, youre defending the free world, please ask your dad if he wants a burger.The boy approaches his dad; hes wearing swimming trunks and is playing with a water gunMark: Dad? The boy keeps talking but we only hear the sound of static. Dad? Mom wants to know if you want a burger. The man is unresponsive and the boy walks away.Mark: Mom, I dont know what he wants, you ask him.The woman approaches the man.Arlene: You want a burger? She mouths okay but we can again, only hear static. From the mans point of view, we now see him moving the controls on his wheelchair so that he is by the edge of the pool. He seems to look at the pool for a moment before controlling the wheelchair straight into the pool.OPENING CREDITS (Scene starts with a silhouette of someone running - this person turns out to be House! There are lots of lovely shots of his lean lanky body sweating and jogging along to Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz. He stops for a while and we see the scar from the gunshot in the previous episode on his neck, he feels his pulse and smiles happily.)(Scene shifts to the hospital that morning, in Cuddys office - Wilson and Cuddy are looking at patient files stacked on the table; in front of Cuddy there is an open bottle of water.)Cuddy: The guy drove his wheelchair into a pool, House would love that! Wilson: Hell be bored. Its a great visual but its diagnostically boring. What about post-hair transplant aphasia guy? Cuddy: Infection throwing clots, House will shoot it down and call you an idiot.Wilson: Oh, well we wouldnt want that. Cuddy: What about yoga girl? Wilson: Has a good hook. Cuddy: Should we lead with it?Wilson: His first day back, might want to flex his sarcasm muscle; maybe we open with one of the weaker pitches. House suddenly bursts into the office, still in sweaty T-shirt and shorts from his run - Cuddy and Wilson stare.Cuddy: You ran here?House: Its just. 8 miles. Cuddy: Why did you.? Holding the bottle of water.House: Why does a dog lick its - He takes the water from her hand and starts to drink it. Yes hes just drinking her water. whats a workplace acceptable euphemism for testicles?Wilson: Because he can.House: What have you got for me boss?Cuddy: I thought you said you needed 8 weeks of rehab. You should have been back hereHouse: He puts down the water and picks up a file. If Id come back sooner, Id only be able to run 6 miles. I never would have made it in. What have you got for me?Cuddy: Youre completely pain free? The ketamine treatment can wear off.House: Its been 2 months. Its not wearing off. What have you got for me? He picks up one of the files and starts looking through it himself.Cuddy: It can take as long as-House: Why are we having this discussion? Want to hear me thank you again? Thank you Dr Cuddy. Not just for removing the bullet, but thank you for putting me in a ketamine-induced coma and changing my life. Happy? I am.Wilson: Middle-aged man: had hair transplant about 2 months ago-House: Infection throwing clots, youre an idiot. Cuddy throws a smile at Wilson. Except youre not an idiot, House looks at Wilson and then Cuddy. and shes holding a file for a 26-yr-old female, what have you really got for me?Cuddy: Girl was doing an inverted yoga pose, neck snapped, paralyzed from the neck down except the x-rays show no evidence of spinal injury. And shes cute.House: Oh, well played sir! He grabs the file off Cuddy but continues to read the one in his hands. What about Stephen Hawking trying to do the 500 butterfly?Wilson: Forget it - brain cancer, brain surgery - theres nothing left to diagnose. I would take the other one.House: Hmm. Ill take them both.Wilson furrows his brow in confusion and he shares another look with Cuddy.(House exits the clinic with the files and starts walking across the lobby. Wilson catches up with his briefcase and they walk together up the staircase.)Wilson: You dont think he had brain cancer?House: Of course he had brain cancer; even oncologists dont screw up for 8 years. Wilson: So if theres no diagnostic issue why are you taking the case?House: Treatment can be interesting.Wilson: Not to you.House: Ive changed.Wilson: No, you havent.House: No, I havent. Wilson: Then why are you taking the case?House: Guy tried to kill himself.Wilson: The guy had cancer, hes a lump; he hasnt been able to touch his wife, speak to his kids.House: Hes been in that chair for 8 years, his muscles have atrophied. Maybe I can help him with the pain. Isnt that enough of a reason to want to help?Wilson: Not for you.House: Ive changed.Wilson: No you havent. House: Then why am I taking this case? He suddenly sprints ahead of Wilson and runs off.(House has changed into more proper work clothes and walks into the office with the files.)House: Lets start with the cute paraplegic.Cameron: Welcome back!Chase: Hey!Cameron: You look.Foreman: Healthy.Chase gives House a pat on the shoulder, then realizes a second later that that was really rather too chummy. House gives him a weird look.House: Quad with no broken neck, struck me as odd.Cameron: Uhh. you could take a whole 2 minutes to ease into being back. House: Taken a whole month to ease back, 8 weeks is the maximum rehab time for a gunshot wound to the stomach and neck. So, go. He takes a drink from the fridge and starts drinking.Cameron: We heard they never found the guy. Theres no new leads?House: What? You think he might have shot this patient too? Would explain her symptoms. Chase: Could be MS.House: See? Its not so difficult.House: Its not MS. She had no symptoms before she climbed on to her head. Unless shes been upside-down for the last 10 years, MS aint it.Foreman: Could be transverse myelitis, swelling in the disk choking off nerve function.Chase: MRIs negative for that.Houses gaze is caught by the stain of his blood on the carpet from when he was shot in the last episode. There are signs that they tried to wash away the rather large blood stain, but it is still very visible.Cameron: The leg looks fine. You totally pain free?House: When did this turn into what did you do over your summer vacation?Foreman: Its a little weird to discuss the case while youre staring at your blood on the floor.Cameron: I asked Cuddy to replace the carpet.House: No, I like the carpet. What did you do over the summer? Cameron: Enthusiastically. I-House: Re-do the tests. He walks away from her. Lets see if the source of the problem is in the limbs or the spine. Do an EMG. The Ducklings prepare to walk out. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Got a whole other quad to cover; this guys still got fluid in his lungs. Cameron: You dont think thats from the pool he drank?House: Give him an O2 mask. His leg muscles have atrophied, tendons have shortened from disuse causing intense pain. Tendon surgery will make him more comfortable. Chase: Comfortable? Raised eyebrows from the Ducklings.House: Scoot.(Scene shifts to Richard in surgery, Arlene and Mark are watching from the observation deck.)Arlene: Thanks for being here.Camera pans out to reveal.House: Not a problem. Mark: My dad wouldnt kill himself.House: You havent spoken to him in over 6 years.Mark: I know my dad.Arlene: Mark, the doctors just trying to-Mark: He wouldnt kill himself.House: Fine. Im wrong. You obviously have a better understanding of this man who drools in front of your TV set 24 hours a day.Arlene: Dr. House.Mark: Look, he must have been confused. It must have been an accident.House: Hope it was a suicide attempt. If he was trying to kill himself then he knows how miserable his life is, means theres still something there to kill; means your dads still there. Cameron walks in after a knock.Cameron: Sorry, need you.Arlene: Quietly. Thank you. She hugs her son.House and Cameron walk out and continue across the hospital corridors.Cameron: We were doing the EMG but we never got past the insertion of the conduction pin. Did she just say thank you?House: I loaned her some money. What went wrong?Cameron: Nothing went wrong. House: Nothing went wrong then something went right.Cameron: Youre not going to tell me why she thanked you?House: Youre not going to tell me what went right?Cameron: You did something for which she is grateful and youre. embarrassed?House: For you. Saw you coming up, thought you were a 14-yr-old boy, I set her straight. Cameron: Im not telling you what went wrong - or right, until you tell me why she said thank you. She stands with hands on hips.House: Ohhh, you got me. You know I need to know, Im so going to fold. Except youre forgetting, theres one thing I can do now. He casts a curious glance at something behind her, she turns to look and he quickly runs off, she laughs and follows.Scene quickly changes to Foreman and Chase talking to Yoga girl, whos name is Caren.Foreman: Its either that or a reflex response.We hear the sound of House running up before he slides into view.House: What happened?Foreman: Ok, this is Dr. House. House, this is Caren-House: Pleasures all mine, what happened?Chase: When we inserted the conduction pin, she flinched.House: To Cameron as she walks in. She flinched! Did you hear?Caren: Does that mean Im getting better?House: How big is a flinch? Bigger than a twitch? Smaller than a spasm? Chase inserts the pin again so House can see the flinch. You smoke?Caren: Socially, a lot. House: You do yoga and you smoke?Caren: I know its hypocritical but-House: Not at all, the world sees your legs, no ones checking out your lungs. He goes and checks out Carens handbag.Cameron: How would smoking cause-House: It wouldnt, just needed a lighter. He takes one out, goes to the bottom of Carens bed, holds a foot in his hand and turns on the flames right under it. She screams and jerks her leg away and he stops.Cameron: House!Caren: My god!House: Gives the puppy dog eyes. The case was looking so promising.Caren: Hey, Im not faking.House: You moved, therefore you can move. Get this lunatic out of here before she bores again. Caren: Im not faking!Foreman gets a cynical look on his face.(Change to night time the same day - theres now a second floor built above the lobby that has a balcony too. House is leaning on the balcony overlooking the lobby, watching people walk in and out.)Wilson walks up to join him.Wilson: I heard you were watching surgery with a patients family. Talking to a patients family. Its because of your hallucination, isnt it? After you were shot? You chose life; you decided you wanted meaning, so you took a case with no mystery. Something any doctor could do. A case with no upside except the satisfaction of helping another human being.House: She thanked me. Wilson: And. you felt nothing.House: Wasnt even sure what I was supposed to feel.Wilson: Its like your leg, its atrophied. Keep working it, the feeling will come.Cameron walks up to them.Cameron: Sorry, need you, again.House: Told you to get rid of her.Cameron: Its a good thing we didnt. Tightness in her chest, she cant breathe, it could be pleural effusion.House: Right. Either that or shes holding her breath like a 4-yr-old.Scene change back to Caren who is gasping for breath; Chase and Foreman lift her into a sitting position as House enters holding a great big needle. He hides it from her view as he crouches at the bottom of her bed to talk to her.House: Relax. Im not going to burn you again. Im going to STAB YOU! He brings out the needle suddenly, trying to scare her. Caren continues gasping for breath. Look, either youre faking, or youve got a pleural effusion - thats a build-up of fluid around the lungs which is very serious - and I would have no choice but to stab you in the back with this needle and suck all the fluid out of you. Caren looks terrified, but continues gasping for breath. So-Cameron: We should give her a local.House: That would defeat the point of me being nasty. He stands next to her with the needle. Ready? He raises his arm and pretends to strike until he notices a distended jugular vein on her neck. Down.Foreman: But she cant breathe if shes down.House: Down! Foreman: She cant breathe-House: Down! Down, down, down! Come on! He pushes her to lie flat on her back again before he spears the needle straight into her chest to the surprise of the Ducklings, and starts drawing out blood. Carens breathing becomes easier.Foreman: Thats not a pleural effusion.Cameron: Problems in her heart. House: Cant fake that.(Scene changes to the next day; Chase is now the one drawing the blood from Caren who is on a ventilator.)Scene shifts back to the Diagnostics office.Chase: Had to relieve the pressure 3 times in the last 2 hours. So either we figure out whats causing blood to build up around her heart or I follow her around with the needle for the rest of her life.Cameron: Echo was clean, no structural abnormalities. Foreman: Could be an infectious process. TB?Cameron: Or vasculitis would also explain the effusion.House: But not the paralysis. Lets assume that she wasnt faking it.Cameron: She moved, therefore she could move. She wasnt paralyzed.House: Ehh. doesnt mean she was faking, could have been a delusion. Now, either she was faking, and coincidentally got a real cardiac problem at the exact same time, or its a delusion and the fake paralysis is a real neurological symptom. Foreman: Youre thinking vascular tumor on her spine?Cameron: Her platelets are normal. Chase: And shes been scanned up and down, its all clean.House: So, open her up, and find it. He bounces the ball he normally plays with on Chases head - to Chases annoyance. Foreman: So what do you want us to do? Start at her neck and just keep cutting down her spine until we stumble on something?House: That should work. He tosses the ball back to Chase before walking out the door.(House is checking Richard with a stethoscope while Arlene watches on.)House: His heart rates a little high.Arlene: Should I be worried?House: Probably just means hes still in discomfort from the surgery. Im going to up his morphine a little. Arlene: Youve been so nice to us. House: Thats the job.Arlene: No, I mean all the other doctors, all they did was obsess on the. the cancer, the treatment, the damage. just trying to fix him. Youre the first doctor thats ever given a damn about the quality of his life.House: His heart rates come down, the morphine worked I was right.He quickly walks out of the room. Cameron, who has been eavesdropping from behind the door, joins him.Cameron: What a touching moment. Thats why we become doctors. For those rare moments when our hearts are warm-House: Would you like to get a drink?Cameron: Are you serious or are you just trying to change the subject?House: No, Im serious. I drink, you drink. We could do it at the same time, same table. Do you eat? We could do that too. I mean, if the answers no thats cool but. He waits for her response as they stop in front of the elevators.Cameron: No, I. its just. youre just coming off the surgery and youre not yourself yet and I work for you and even though last years. Frustrated sigh as House starts smiling smugly. youre smiling! Im saying no and youre smiling!House: Oh, dont take it personally. Its just coz youre full of crap. You have no interest in going out with me. Maybe you did, when I couldnt walk and I was a sick puppy that you could nurture back to health. Now that Im healthy, theres nothing in it for you.Cameron: You are not healthy. House continues smiling. Cuddy wants to see you.(Scene changes to Cuddys office.)Cuddy: Youve been back at work 24 hours and youre already playing hide and seek in a womans spine. House: Who won the pool?Cuddy: Theres no tumor. Her platelets are normal, scans-House: Whats the worse that can happen? I paralyze her. She wont even notice. Cuddy: Her lawyers might. Youre not doing the surgery. And lower the morphine on your other patient.House: Sits down in the chair opposite Cuddy. Fine, Ill lower it. If youll let me do the surgery.Cuddy: What? You want a trade? Were not swapping a couple of goats for your help putting up a barn. House: You want something, I want something. We compromise. Its the grown-up w