那段最痛苦的生活经历教给了你什么.doc

Quora精选：那段最痛苦的生活经历教给了你什么？ What did you learn from your most painful life experience?你从痛苦的生活经历中学会了什么？Here，10 lessons:这里有10条经验谈：来自Milena Rangelov的答案:I am so much stronger than I think I am. So much! No matter how bad I feel today, I know that I have some more strength to wake up tomorrow and make new baby steps. And so do you.我比想象中坚强太多。不论今天有多么糟糕，我始终坚信明天醒来后我会更具力量，也会慢慢进步。你也一样。I might work and try, but some things will always be beyond my control.我可能会去工作，去尝试，但还是有许多东西我无法控制。The same level of thinking that brought me into this situation, wont help me get out of it. I must think in different ways and try different things.No one is coming. I am alone and no one is going to figure things out for me. I have to take full responsibility for myself and my life.I am the victim only if I choose to be one.思维定式把我带入困境，丝毫不会助我脱离苦海。我必须换种思路，尝试不同的事物。不会有人来帮忙，我始终孤独一人，没有人会帮我解决问题。我会对自己和自己的人生负全责。会不会成为受害者就看自己的选择了。My success in life will be determined by how well I am able to survive painful times, bounce back and start again, stronger and smarter. Not by how well am I able to avoid troubles and mistakes.如何在困境中生存，恢复活力，重新开始决定着我的成就，而不是由如何躲避困难和避免错误所决定的，在这之后，我会变得更强更聪明哦。Painful experiences are in fact wake-up calls and revelations . But only if you interpret them in that way.Why has this happened to me? is a stupid question, that sustains victim mentality. Why has this happened for me? is way more powerful and creative question.事实上，痛苦的经历往往会给我们启示，但是需要你自己用一种方式解读。“我怎么会摊上这些事儿？”这么问问题很愚蠢，完全是一副受害者心理。“为什么这些事儿会因我而起？”却是一个更有力量和新意的问法。Sharing your pain and suffering with others is extremely humble and vulnerable experience, but leads to the most profound and intimate connecting! I thought that people will love me only if I am impeccable and cool. In fact, people can identify your fears, failures and imperfections so easy.与他人分享你的痛苦和遭遇极其卑微和脆弱，但是这个举动可以促进你们之间最亲密的关系。我认为，也许只有我出色到无可挑剔时才会有人来爱我。而事实上，人们可以很容易看出你的恐惧，失败和不完美。Destruction is the essential part of the creation, you cannot get anything new before something old is gone.破坏是创造的重要组成部分,旧的不去新的不来。Thanks for the great Q. I hope my pain will serve as a teacher for me, as well as for you.感谢楼主提出这么好的问题。希望我遭受的痛苦能够成为我的老师，同样希望你也是哦！来自Dushka Zapata的答案First, let me quickly assess what I go through when I go through something incredibly painful:首先，我来快速回忆回忆历经苦痛时是如何备受煎熬的：Inability to sleep 无法入睡Loss of appetite 没食欲Anxiety 焦虑Obsessive behavior (such as attempting to plan ahead to anticipate worst-case scenarios)、强迫观念行为（比如由于可能会出现的最糟糕状况而试图提前计划）Worry 担忧Struggle 挣扎Here is what Ive learned: 这是我从苦痛中学来的：In my case (Not yours. Mine.) a lot of what makes a painful experience is self-inflicted.我只说自己的情况（不是你的哦）。许多痛苦的经历都是我自己造成的。As such, here is what I remind myself to do better what life throws at me:就本身而言，做这些事情有助于提醒我如何应对生活中的不幸。CALM DOWN 镇定下来Get some sleep. In order to remain clear headed and functional you need to sleep.睡觉。为了保持大脑清醒以及其正常运转，你需要睡觉。Eat. I know you dont want to. Eat anyway.吃。我知道你其实并不想。无论如何吃点东西吧。Anxiety and worry accomplish nothing.忧虑和担心是无济于事的。Anticipating every worst case scenario is pointless and contributes to anxiety. You cant, so dont.假象最糟的状况是毫无意义的，并且会让你产生焦虑情绪。你不能这么做，也不要这么做。Even in the midst of horrible, horrible things, most of what you worry about is not going to happen.即使你身处恐惧之事中，绝大多数你所担心的事情都不会发生。来自Rev Cendana的答案Be prepared for anything-life will always find a way to screw you over, the least you can do is minimize the damage. Its not enough just to formulate a plan B or a C, one must make contingencies as days goes by or situations unfold.为即将发生的一切做准备生活总是会寻找各种方式考验你，但你至少可以减少它对你造成的伤害。仅仅准备几个备选计划是远远不够的，随着时间的推移，你必须为意外和突发事件有个心理准备。This works in interactions with other people too. Well, not everyone would be a permanent friend or enemy. If your friend turns on you, be prepared to have something (or someone) that you can use to retaliate or defend yourself and if you find an enemy suddenly on your side, have a plan for a smooth reconciliation of differences. This is the primary reason I often strive to know the secrets of my friends and the needs or wants of my enemies: that way I could have something to humiliate or blackmail a former friend or have something to aid a former enemy should the situation call for it.与他人交往时，这招也有效哦！好吧，没有永久的敌人和朋友。如果你的朋友开始与你作对，请做好准备，回敬他或保护自己；如果你发现敌人突然站你这边了，你就要想想与他调和了。所以我会经常试图知道朋友的秘密和敌人的需求，这样以来，只要有需要时，我就可以“报复”之前的朋友，也有机会帮助以前的敌人。Being paranoid and worrisome about the future does have its advantages at times. My friends are now very careful about upsetting me because they are wary of what I could use against them. One must live in the present but one must think about the future, if you have problems now, you might have more if you dont prepare for eventualities.有时，偏执和对未来的担忧或许也有好处。我的朋友现在就不敢惹恼我，他们会担心我回击他们。我们每个人都应该活在当下，但是还要放眼未来。你现在遇到问题，如果你不为突发状况再做些准备的话，未来会出现更多的问题。来自Ashley Rose的答案I learned how to forgive. Half my family disowned me after finally admitting to many years of abuse by my cousin. Ive been in therapy since I was 2, I see a psychiatrist, I have my other family. But nothing helped me as much as when I finally realized that I need to forgive. Not ever forget, but to forgive. My experience caused me to lose family, self harm, and end up in the hospital over 8 times. But honestly, I think it was an experience I needed to have to learn how to grow and be a good person.我学会了原谅。我承认这么多年一直遭受表兄的虐待之后，有一半的家人都离我而去。2岁开始我已经在治疗，后来看心理医生，再后来我又有了家人。当我最终意识到我需要原谅时，没有什么可以帮到我。不是忘记，而是选择原谅。我的经历使我失去了家人，住院多达8次。但是，坦白地讲，这段经历让我懂得如何成长为好人。来自James Pay的答案Years ago I use to read a lot of books, I would study all the time, worked to a very strong degree, played hard. This was all good in the things that I was able to do. and yet in the end it came back to haunt me by the simple fact that I became ill do to all this. It took many years to recover from this condition and to this day I still feel the affects that it has had on me.多年前，我读了许多书，我可以不知疲倦地学习，努力工作，愉快玩耍。这都是我所能做的事情。最终，这回馈我的却是疾病缠身，无法再做这些事情。恢复到这个状态花了我好多年，但是我依然能感受到疾病对我的影响。There is a time for hard work and play; then , there is time for rest of the mind and body and spirit. We all need to take time off from whatever we are doing. In this way one can get back what ever energy was lost in he process. One needs balance in their lives if one wants to stay health of a decent type. I know this to be a true fact.一段时间努力工作和学习，后来生病，身体，头脑，精神上都得以休息。我们都需要停下手头上的工作。只有这样，我们才能知道在整个过程中花费了多少精力。如果想保持健康，我们必须平衡生活中的方方面面。我知道，这是事实。来自Joiey Usison的答案I have learned that you should never lie and never cheat to anyone specially to the person you