高中英语论文书面表达阅读手记和高分策略.doc

英语书面表达阅读手记和高分策略【摘要】本文对NMET 2009(浙江卷)的书面表达试题进行了分析，并以考生作文为例，根据评分标准对各档次作文的特点及其存在的共性问题进行了剖析，同时对于如何在书面表达中得到高分给出建议。【关键词】NMET，书面表达，写作教学2009年全国高考英语试卷的命题以全日制普通高级中学英语教学大纲验修和稍作修改的(2009年普通高等学校招生全国统一考试说明为依据，继续坚持“稳中求改”的命题原则和“力求对中学全面实施素质教育发挥积极的作用”的命题思想，强调应用，注重交际。其中，书面表达题既保持了高考命题的连贯性。又考虑到了普通高校选拔人才的需要，突出考查了学生的语言经验和语言意识。较好地把握了选拔性考试的效度和区分度，实现了较为理想的难度控制。对考生书面表达能力的评价有较高的可信度。u 试题5月1日，高二（3）班的学生志愿者Li Yue和Zhang Hua去阳光敬老院（Sunshine Nursing Home）开展志愿者活动（送水果、打扫、聊天等）。假如你是校英语报的记者，请按下列要点用英语写一则100-120个词的新闻报道。时间、地点、任务、活动；老人们的反应；简短评论。u 解析09年的书面表达属于夹叙夹议的问题。不仅考察考生语言运用能力，而且在话题上强调志愿者活动对社会和自己的意义，对于考生来说，不仅有话可说，而且具有人生的指导意义。一、阅卷手记1评分原则目前，国内外对书面表达题的评分通常采用总体评分法或整体评分法(韩梅，2004)。根据此评分法，NMET 2009(浙江卷)书面表达的评分细则可以归纳如下：(1)先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后按该档次的具体要求进行衡量、确定或调整档次，最后给分。(2)若词数少于100，从所得分中减去2分。(3)评分的主要参考指标为：内容要点、所用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性、上下文的连贯性。其中，内容要点可用不同方式表达，对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分。(4)拼写与标点符号的误用是影响语言准确性的重要因素。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度酌情扣分。英语、美语拼写及词汇用法均可接受。(5)若书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。2各档次作文的基本标准及例文点评下面，笔者根据NMET 2009(浙江卷)书面表达的评分标准，点评各档次的考生作文各一篇。第五档(很好)：(25-30分)本档作文的基本标准：全部完成了试题规定的任务。覆盖了所有的内容要点。应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。语法结构或词汇方面有少许错误，但是这些错误是由于使用较为复杂的结构或较高级的词汇所致；体现了较强的语言运用能力。有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，全文结构紧凑，完全达到了预期的写作目的。【例文】On May 1st,Li Yue and Zhang Hua, two students from Class3, Grade2, reached the Sunshine Nursing Home to work as volunteers. They sent fresh fruits to the elderly to wish them a healthy life.Besides, they helped clean the houses and had nice talks in order to ease their loneliness and anxiety.All the elderly found that it was encouraging to see the young lives, who made them feel more energetic. When being concerned about , the elderly realized that their lives were filled with sunshine again. From my personal perspective, it is our youngsters duty to care for the elderly, who have devoted a lot to our society. In addition, respecting the elderly is also our traditional culture, which we should carry on generation by generation.(132ws)【点评】该文覆盖了所有内容要点，语言流利通顺，结构紧凑，而且多处使用比较高级的词汇和句型。例如定语从句（who made them feel more energetic;who have devoted a lot to our soceity)、非谓语省略的应用(when being concerned about, the elderly realized that)、动名词做主语(respecting the elderly is our traditional culture,which)以及高级词汇( ease their loneliness and anxiety; encouraging; energetic;devoted to; generation by generation)。另外，文章过度自然，恰当地运用了过渡词( besides;in addition; from my personal perspective)等，使文章结构紧凑，表达更加清楚、连贯。【不足之处与修改建议】 respecting the elderly is also our traditional culture 改为respecting the elderly is also a way of /a sign of our traditional culture 更加恰当。 carry on改为pass on更为恰当。 From my personal perspective,这个表达法过于严肃，有点不符合意境。第四档(好)：(19-24分)本档作文的基本标准：全部完成了试题规定的任务。虽漏掉一两个次重点，但覆盖了所有的主要内容。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法结构或词汇方面的应用基本正确，出现的少许错误主要是由于尝试较复杂的结构或词汇所致。应用了简单的衔接成分，全文结构紧凑，达到了预期的写作目的。【例文】On May 1st,two students named Li Yue and Zhang Hua from Class3 went to Sunshine Nursing Home. They were student volunteers. They sent some fruit to the elderly, helped to clean the Home.Whats more, they talked with the elderly who didnt have children. So the elderly would not be lonely.The elderly were very happy. They said Li Yue and Zhang Hua were like their own children, and they felt very warm. Li Yue and Zhang Hua spent May Day in sunshine Nursing Home rather than play outside. They were really good volunteers. We should learn from them, and we should take more care of the elderly.(110ws)【点评】该文基本覆盖了全部内容要点，错误少许，应用的语法结构和词汇基本正确，文章通顺，但是缺少亮点，没有太多的高级句型和词汇。运用的定语从句一个（they talked with the elderly who didnt have children）,词组正确（rather than；felt very warm.；learn from；take more care of），过度词（Whats more，So）。【不足之处与修改建议】 two students named Li Yue and Zhang Hua from Class3 went to Sunshine Nursing Home.缺少信息点“Grade 2”. We should learn from them, and we should take more care of the elderly.可以省略后面的“we should”,避免重复。 全文都是短句为主，缺少高级句型。可以把几个短句改成复合句，更显水平。例如“They were student volunteers. They sent some fruit to the elderly,”可以改为“As student volunteers, they sent some fruit to the elderly,”;“The elderly were very happy. They said Li Yue and Zhang Hua were like their own children.”可以改为“The elderly were so happy that they said Li Yue and Zhang Hua were like their own children.”把短句改为长句可以运用多种句式，增加文章的深度。第三档(中等)：(13-18分)基本完成了试题规定的任务。虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖了所有的主要内容。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。要求。有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。应用了简单的语句间的连接成分，全文内容连贯，基本达到了预期的写作目的。【例文】Li Yue and Zhang Hua are our schools volunteers.On June,1, they went to the Sunshine Nursing Home.They cleaned the house. They played the games with the old men. Then, they sent some apples to the old people. They are very friendly,and they got well with each other. The old people are very happy. Li Yue and Zhang Hua communicated the things of school with the old people. The old people hoped them work hard .At last, they said goodbye to the old people. Li Yue and Zhang Hua are both good students in our school. We should remember them. We should take good care of the old people in our family.【点评】文章要点齐全，有一定的英语句法结构，基本的词组句型表达。例如got well with，communicated with, said goodbye to, take good care of等。【不足之处与修改建议】全文时态不一致，“They are very friendly，The old people are very happy.”中的“are”改为“were”. 基本日期写错 “On June,1,”，首先月份搞错，其次格式也不够恰当，应该改为“On May 1st ”。 缺少基本信息 “Class3, Grade2 ”。词语表达欠妥。“We should remember them”中的“remember” 用法不当。 全文都是简单句型，没有过渡词语。第二档(中等偏下)：(7-12分)本档作文的基本标准：基本完成了试题规定的任务。漏掉或者对主要内容未描述清楚，写了一些无关内容。语法结构单调，运用词汇有限。有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺乏连贯性。信息未能较清楚地传达给读者。【例文】On May 1st,two student volunteers of Class 3 Gread 2, Li Yue and Zhang Hua went to Sunshine Nursing Home.They sent a lots of fruits to the Elderly. And they cleared the Sunshine Nursing Home.They also talked to the eld people about what had happened in school or what had made a good life. They spent a meanful day in Sunshine Nursing Home.The elderly in Sunshine Nursing Home feel very happy that day. And they hope Li Yue and Zhang Hua or other students can come to see them and talk to them more often. Li Yue and Zhang Hua are models of students volunteers, they had do their best. They are the best.(118ws)【点评】该文章的特点是基本涵盖要点，但是基本错误太多，影响了内容的表达。语法错误较多。单词错误有“Gread 2；eld；meanful；”；词组“a lots of”改为“a lot of”; “or”应该改为“and”;时态错误，多处的时态没有用过去式；“had do their best”要改为 “had done their best”;大小写拼写错误“the Elderly”，这里没有必要大写等等。第一档(较差)：(1-6分)本档作文的基本标准：未完成试题规定的任务。遗漏了部分主要内容，写了一些无关内容。语法结构单调，运用词汇有限。语法结构或词汇方面的错误较多，影响了对写作内容的理解。较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺乏连贯性，信息未能清楚地传达给读者。【例文】On March 5,1. To doing something of helpful. Li Yue and Zhang Hua of our school s students to got to the Sunshine Nursing Home which are grade two and class three. In this case, They were chatting with some old people which were longly. Not only help a number of people to cleaned their house But also gave away some fruit to them.So that They were of great happiness.Therefore Li Yue and Zhang Hua were speaked highly of that people.From opinior of my view.Took these measures to made about of this people as I are for preferred. Im suggested that we should be all payed attention to those longly people.(115ws)【点评】本文尝试用各种词组和句式来表达内容，很可惜的是用的正确的表达法非常少。全文只有“They were chatting with some old people”这个表达法没有错误，其他的是错误百出。连最基本的保持句子的通顺都没有做到，所以被划为较差一档，也是情有可原的。二、高分策略1， 准确地运用语言在阅卷过程中，我们普遍感觉到学生无法取得书面表达的高分，主要的问题是对基础知识的不扎实，错误的地方也是基本的单词语法等错误。所以要取得高分，首先要做到准确地运用语言，给阅卷者读下来很顺畅的感觉，得到基本的分数。首先，要正确的拼写词汇和使用标点。拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。众所周知，文章是句子组成的，而单词的准确性直接影响句子的表达和全文的通畅。含有多个单词拼写错误的句子势必让人难以理解。标点符号可以帮助作者准确的表达写作意图，读者可以借此准确的理解句子。英语常用标点符号有13种，其中大多与汉语标点符号相似，但连字符号，名词所有格符号等是英语特有的。即使是句号，在汉语中是个“圆圈”，而在英语中是个实点。评分原则重视对拼写和标点符号的评判，考生在书写时切不可草率从事，马虎大意。其次，要正确地使用词汇和语法结构。在体裁明确，信息全面，要点清晰的前提下，避开偏、怪、难词，选用自己最熟悉，最有把握的词语和句型将要点表达出来。根据要点词语的句法功能，语法规则正确的组合成句，注意主谓一致，时态呼应。还要注意克服母语的逆向干扰，力求用地道的英语、较复杂的结构、较高级的词汇来表达。从以上的几篇范文中，可以得出结论：错误越少，越能够得高分，即使句式简单；而错误越多，得分也就越低。2， 流利地运用语言流利使用英语的能力指语言运用过程中的顺利程度，即运用中的效率(李筱菊，1997)。在书面表达测试中，语言运用能力高的考生往往使用词语手段、句子手段和意义手段等来顺利高效地使用语言以达到交流目的。下面以2009年浙江卷英语书面表达的范文为例来看看这几种手段的具体使用。On May Day, Li Yue and Zhang Hua ,students from Class Three,Grade Two,went to the Sunshine Nursing Home and did some voluntary work. Upon their arrival, Li Yue and Zhang Hua were warmly welcomed, and respectfully, they presented the elderly with flowers and fruits.Then, they started working at once, cleaning the windows and sweeping the floor.Everyghing done, they sat in the yard chatting with the elderly people.When it was time for the volunteers to leave, the elderly people thanked them for their kindness. They said it was such a beautiful day that they would remember it forever.Li Yue and Zhang Hua were very happy.What they did has brought joy to others and enriched their own lives.1. 词语手段。文章中词组搭配非常恰当贴切，例如“presented the elderly with；brought joy to；enriched their own lives”等；两个副词用得恰到好处“warmly welcomed；respectfully”。2.句子手段。文章包含比较丰富的句式，例如有独立主格结构“Everyghing done, they sat in the yard chatting with the elderly people.”；时间状语从句“When it was time for the volunteers to leave, the elderly people”以及主语从句“What they did has brought joy to others”丰富的句式，增加了文章的优美，读起来也非常得流利。3意义手段。文章对于事情的叙述循序渐进，有章有法。并没有简单地罗列，而是先后有序。通过“Upon their arrival，Then，Everyghing done”把学生们在敬老院里所作的事情叙述下来，然后写老人家的感受，最后写上自己的评论。全文如行云流水般，又透入出一种温暖的情感。(三)得体地运用语言得体地运用语言，指所使用的语言适合于具体的语境和情景。运用语言的得体性对任何交际行为的有效性都是必要的(李筱菊，1995)。可以想象，如果中国人买报纸用莎士比亚式的英语对美国小贩说要买报纸，即使英语说得百分之百的准确，恐怕小贩