高考英语 书面表达（开放式作文）练习讲评三课件.ppt

2012届高考英语书面表达 开放式作文 练习讲评三 请根据下面提示 写一篇短文 词数不少于50 inyourenglishclass yourteachershowsyouthefollowingpicture you reaskedtodescribethepictureandexplainhowyouunderstandit 参考词汇 cactus仙人掌 可数名词 讲评 本篇开放作文的漫画非常简洁 画面中所出现的道具 人物和背景也非常简单 道具是一把伞 人物是两株仙人掌 一大一小 背景是沙漠和太阳 本篇开放作文的写作的关键在于对漫画主题的恰当定位 对主题的定位最佳的是 父母对孩子的溺爱 也可以定位为 父母对孩子的关爱 但是定位为 父母对孩子的溺爱 应该写起来更容易上手 要防止跑题 比如 从人与自然的关系上讲 认为缺水 要加强环保意识 改善环境 从人与人的关系上讲 认为要互相帮助 从大仙人掌撑着一把伞的画面上看 归纳出 不顾自己照顾别人 的主题等等都是跑了题 在炎热的太阳照射下的沙漠上 有两株仙人掌 一大一小 大的为小的撑着一把伞以保护小的免受炎热太阳的伤害 从画面上看 即使如此 小仙人掌好像经不起炎热太阳的考验 具体表达时 可以采取拟人化的手段 把大仙人掌比喻为母亲 小仙人掌比喻为孩子 表达起来更为方便 一 简述漫画内容 asisshowninthepicture therearetwocactusesgrowinginalargeareaofdesert thebigcactus motherisholdinganumbrellatoprotectthesmallcactus herbabyfrombeinginjuredbythehotsun butevenifitisundertheumbrellaofmother thebabyseemstobeunabletostandthehotsunshine aswecanseeinthepicture inalargeareaofdesert abigcactusisholdinganumbrellaforasmallcactusinaveryhotday butthesmalloneintheshadeseemsveryweak thebigcactusisveryupset butshecannotfindanysolutions lookingatthepicture icanseetwocactusesgrowinginalargeareaofdesert themothercactusisholdinganumbrellatoprotectthebabycactusfromthebakingsun butagainsthergoodwish thebabycactusisbendingdownandturningweakintheshadeoftheumbrella 我们将漫画的主题定位为 父母对孩子的溺爱 漫画中的大小仙人掌 象征父母与孩子炎热的太阳和沙漠 象征困难和恶力的环境撑着的伞 象征父母为孩子提供的庇护 二 点明漫画主题 thebigcactusisjustlikeparentswhilethesmallcactusistheirchild andthehotsunisthedifficultiesandbadenvironment parentsalwayswanttoprotecttheirchildandkeepawayfromthosedifficultiesandproblems thepictureconveysusthemessagethatparentsspoiltheirchildrentoomuch thepictureremindsmeofwhathappensinourdailylife likethemothercactusinthepicture parentsaretryingtheirbesttotakegoodcareoftheirchildrenwhentheyareintrouble theirchildrenaregivensomuchlovethattheyarespoiled thepictureconveysusthemessagethattoomuchprotectiondoesnogoodtothechildren thismakesmethinkofwhathappensinourdailylife likethemothercactusinthepicture parentsaremakingeveryefforttocreatesuchacomfortableenvironmentfortheirchildrenthattheyarespoiled thepictureconveysusthemessagethattoomuchprotectiondoesnogoodtothechildren 在发表个人看法前要简单分析一下 父母溺爱孩子 带来的后果 ifparentsmakealldecisionsandsolveallproblemsfortheirchild thechildwon tgrowupasarealman infact achildneedsdifficultiestoexperiencechallengejustlikethecactusneedsthehotburningsun soinmyopinion parentsandfamilyshouldgivemorechancestotheirchildrentochallengethemselves onlyinthiswaycanachildgrowupasasuccessfulman 三 发表个人看法 noonecangrowupwithoutexperiencingpainanddifficulties toomuchprotectionfromparentshasasideeffectonchildren justlikethebabycactusinthepicture howcanitgrowuphealthilywithoutsunlight soparents pleasethrowtheumbrellaaway letchildrenfacewhatevermaylieaheadofthemsothattheywillbeabletogrownaturally nowadays anincreasingnumberofparentsaremakingeveryefforttocreateacozyenvironmentfortheirchildren resultinginthechildren sexcessiverelianceontheparents therefore parentsshouldbeawarethatindependenceisoftopimportanceintheirchildren sgrowthandimprovement withoutwhichtheycannotsurvivethetoughandchallengingdifficulty itishightimethattheparentsthrewtheirumbrellaaway lettingtheirchildrenlivehealthilyandstronglyinthesunlight 考场习作评析 考场习作aswecanseeinthepicture inabigdesert abigcactusisholdinganumbrellaforasmallcactusinaveryhotday butthesmalloneintheshadeseemsveryweak thebigcactusisveryupset buthecannotfindanysolutions asfarasiamconcerned tosomedegree thebigcactusisjustlikeparentswhilethesmallcactusistheirchild andthehotsunisthedifficultiesandbadenvironment parentsalwayswanttoprotecttheirchildandkeepawayfromthosedifficultiesandproblems butinfact achildneedsdifficultiestoexperiencechallengejustlikethecactusneedsthehotburningsun ifparentsmakealldecisionsandsolveallproblemsfortheirchild thechildwon tgrowupasarealman soinmyopinion parentsandfamilyshouldgivemorechancestotheirchildrentochallengethemselves onlyinthiswaycanachildbecomeasuccessfulpersoninthefuture 习作点评对图画的描述与阐述之间逻辑清楚 紧紧围绕图画展开 没有偏离主题 论述层次清晰 语言表达中的词汇和句式变化 简单句 并列句 复合句以及倒装句的使用 都比较贴切 比较好地完成了写作任务 参考范文 lookingatthepicture icanseetwocactusesgrowinginalargeareaofdesert themothercactusisholdinganumbrellatoprotectthebabycactusfromthebakingsun butagainsthergoodwish thebabycactusisbendingdownandturningweakintheshadeoftheumbrella thismakesmethinkofwhathappensinourdailylife likethemothercactusinthepicture parentsaremakingeveryefforttocreateacomfortableenvironmentfortheirchildren butunfortunately theyhaveforgottenoneimportantfact noonecangrowupwithoutexperiencingpainanddifficulties toomuchprotectionfromparentshasasideeffectonchildren justlikethebabycactusinthepicture howcanitgrowuphealthilywithoutsunlight soparents pleasethrowtheumbrellaaway letchildrenfacewhatevermaylieaheadofthemsothattheywillbeabletogrownaturally 同步练习 2012届江苏省石庄高级中学高三学情调研测试writeanenglishcompositionin150wordsorsobasedonthepictureandtheinstructionsgivenbelow 参考范文 asisseeninthepicture whenagirlislearningtorideabicycle herfatheraswellashermotherwithamedicinecaseissweatingfromrunningalongsidethebiketogivehandstohelpride theyaretryingtheirbesttoprotecttheirdaughterforfearthatsheshouldfallandhurtherself ithinkthisisnotastory butatruereflectionofthechinesesociety nowadays allfamilieshaveonlyonechild soparentsdowhatevertheycantotakegoodcareoftheirchildren perhapsthere snothingwrongwiththat butthegirl squestion couldyo