高三英语外教点评学生英语作文后的思考课件.ppt

susankrantz与 外籍教师点评英语作文 一书 高中英语课程标准 解读 一 背景介绍 二 思考之一语言表达方式受传统习惯的影响 英语文化中的人士的表达方式1 中国英语教师教作文的方式与errorgravity 中国人往往注意理性分析 逻辑思维 往往注重结果 总要得出结论 西方人写作则较多利用实证分析 实例分析方法 他们注重对过程和事实的描述 往往不得出结果 让读者自己分析 并得出结论 englishwritingismoredirect thingsareclearlyexplained detailsorfactsarerequiredtosupportthetopic susankrantz2001 我们来看一看美国明尼苏达州雷德温市市长重访浙江衢州后 对衢州所发生的变化所发出的感言 摘录 onefootinthefutureandonefootinthepast thisismyforemostimpressionasivisitquzhou onecannotmisstheoldandthenewexistingsidebyside asaforeigneritisdifficulttosaywhichisthe realchina isitthelargenumberofpeopleridingtheiroldbicyclesloadeddownwithgoodsorisittheblackshinyluxurycarbeingdrivendownthestreet isittheschoolinruralareaswiththeleakingrooforisitthemodernschoolsbeingbuiltinquzhou isitthefourlaneexpresswayorisitthesinglelanewalkingpathtoaremotevillage everywhereilookiseetheoldandthenewexistingsidebyside onefootinthefutureandonefootinthepast iamespeciallyfamiliarwithfarmsandfarmcooperatives mystayinquzhouhasprovidedmewiththeopportunitytoparticipateinmeetingsaboutagriculture wheniattendthemeetingsitseemsasifihavebeentherebefore iamthinking amiwatchingarerunof anoldmovie thistypeofmeetingshastakenplaceinamericancommunitiesandfarmsanumberofyearsago ihavewalkedalongtheriverbankwithafreshbreezeblowingthatpickedmyspiritsupandmademeforgetmyhomesickness ihavegazedacrosstherivertothenewwesternsectionofquzhouwhereallthenewgrowthofthetownisexpectedtogo 下面几段话是摘自美国明尼苏达州雷德温市希尔顿剧院经理 导演希恩 多尔兹先生在衢州二中任教时所写的感言 duringmysecondweekatquzhouno 2middleschool ihavethehighhonorofworkingwithagroupofdedicated hardworking andverysmartteachersandadministratorswhohavemademefeelverywelcomeandinstantlyapartoftheirteam eachdaycontinuestobeawonderfulnewadventureinfood people andplaces itisincrediblyancientyetyoung brash andfullofenergy theownerwaslounginginachairdozing myfriendgothisattention hesaid itprobablywon tsoundtoogood iamalittledrunk themusicianbrokeawayfromherbusydaytotapepickstoherfingers laboriouslytunethe21 stringedinstrument music though isuniversal andbeingabstract canbesharedequallyandwithouttranslation thisculturalbaseofchina thisstrainofmusicthatvibratesthroughthesoulofapeople andthiswayofmakingandsharingmusic willserve inthisoutsider smostlyignorantopinion aspartofthesolidgrounduponwhichchinacanbuildadynamicandpowerfulfuture 中国学生的句子1 原句 ithinkifyouknowthetwosidesofthenetting youwillhaveagoodwayofusingthecomputer 修改后句子 theinternethastwosides youwilljusthavetofindagoodwayofusingit 2 原句 whenihavefreetime i llenjoythemverymuch 修改后句子 ithinkwhenihavefreetimeiwillplaywiththemalot 3 原句 fishing collectingstamps ijustlikethem 修改后句子 fishing collectingstamps ilikethemall 4 原句 ontheothersidetheremaybeafamousemblematicbuildingofthecountry andalsohavethevalueofthecoinandthedate 修改后句子 ontheothersidetheremaybeafamousemblematicbuildingofthecountry thedateandthevalueofthecoin 5 原句 inthebasketballcourttwostrongteamswereplayingabittermatch oneoftheteamsisours theotherisclass4 steam 修改后句子 onthebasketballcourtthereweretwoverygoodteamsplayingabittermatch oneoftheteamswasours theotheronewasclass4 s 6 原句 thelastminutearrivedandthescoreswereequal wepushedforvictoryandwewon23 21 修改后句子 finallythelastminutearrivedandthescoreswereequal wereallywantedtowinandsowetriedourhardestandthefinalscorewas23 21 wewon 7 原句 iflewwithnorthwestairlinesfromshanghaipudonginternationalairport wepassedacrossthepacificoceanandourplanearrivedindetroitat10 30inthemorning localtime 修改后句子 iflewwithnorthwestairlinesfromshanghaipudonginternationalairport weflewacrossthepacificocean wearrivedindetroitat10 30inthemorning localtime8 原句 thesecondfloorincludedabouttenrooms somewereusedtobeoffices theotherswerebedroomsforsomeworkers 修改后句子 somewereusedasoffices theotherswereusedsasbedroomforworkers 9 原句 iwasverygladwhenwewenttothecountry becauseoftheinterestingthingsthere 修改后句子 ialwaysenjoyseeingthebeautifulthingsinthecountryside 10 原句 ontheeveningofoct18 thechinesenationalfootballteamgotthetickettotheworldcup 修改后句子 ontheeveningofoct 18 thechinesenationalfootballteamsecuredtheirplaceintheworldcup 11 原句 thefirstcompanysaidthatmysisterwasnotoldenoughandthenwelostourwayandcouldn tfindthesecondcompany 修改后句子 mysisterfailedingettingthatjobthatwasbecausetheysaidshewastooyoung 教材中的经典句子 1 everynowandthen wegettheitchtotravel thisphenomenon mayexplainwhypeoplespendsomuchmoneyontripstointerestingplaces 2 downtownrioisthecity sculturalandhistoricalheart 3 awalkthroughdowntownrioisahistorylessonandanadventure 4 awalkaroundkitzbuhelisafeastfortheeyes alivelymixofoldvillagecultureandtheexcitementofaninternationaltouristarea 5 locatedinsouthernaustria kitzbuhelisaparadiseforskiers 以下两篇短文是衢州二中高三 1 班祝嘉玮同学在学习了高二课本thewaterplannet及destinations后写的文章 poorsanitationimaginethis whenyougointoapublictoilet anunpleasantsmellcomestoyou thefloorisalmostcoveredbyrubbishandthetapisnolongerrunning there snotissueandofcoursenoliquidsoap whatwouldyoufeel itisclearthatnoonecouldtoleratesuchthings andwhat smore walkingalongthestreetandlookatthedustbins they resodirtyandmuchgarbagelyingontheground noonefeelslikewalkingclosetosuchawfulthings accordingtotheworldhealthorganization poorsanitationhasbecomeoneofthethreebiggestkillersintheworldanditcancausemanyotherproblems suchasairpollutionandinfections especiallyinruralareas wherepeoplehaveenvironmentallyunfriendlyhabitsandlesseducation ibelievethateducationisthekeytothesolutionsforthepoorsanitation withbettereducation peoplewillbeabletobuildabettersocietyinharmonywithnature alltoooften peoplethinkthattakingactiontoimprovethesanitationisthegovernment sjob however it sabsolutelyincorrect allofushaveresponsibilitiestokeepourlivingenvironmentcleanandtidy governmenteducatespeopleandmakesusawareofthesituation butnothingwillbeimproveduntilordinarypeoplelikeyouandistartactingdifferently 外教点评 ihopethefuturewillinfactbegreenerandcleaner ithinkyouareabsolutelycorrect educationisimportant butactionisessential ilookforwardtothedaywhenthewholeworldenjoyspropersanitation shadowofaidsimaginethis youare5yearsoldandtheaidshityourwholefamily yourfather yourmotherandyourself youmotherdiedofthediseaseandyourfatherisstillstrugglingwithit youcan tsurviveonyourown whatwouldyouthink andwhatwouldyoudo aidshasalreadyorphanedmillionsofchildrenintheworld andabout3millionpeopledieofthediseaseeveryyear eachyear morethan5millionpeoplebecomeinfectedwiththevirus ihavetosaythataidshasbecomethemostserioussocialproblemincontemporarysociety thetragedyofaidshasalreadycastitsshadowonourlives hivspreadsfast especiallyinafricaandpartsofasia andwhatwasworse mostofthesecountriesdonothaveenoughmoneytopreventandtreatthedisease andtheknowledgeaboutaids hivisstillunknowntomany aidsvillage allthepeopleliveinthatareaareinfectedwithhiv mostofwhomcontractedhivvirusintheearly1990sthroughtheunsafebloodselling fortunately thegovernmenthasalreadypaidattentiontoitandbeguntotakestepstosolvetheseriousproblem mostoftheaidspatientshavetosuffernotonlyfromthediseasebutalsofrompeople sfearofthem ifwewanttodosomethingtohelpthepatientstogetoutoftheshadow thefirstthingistochangepeople smindofaidsandletthemknowthatitissafetoshakehands talkandeatwithsomeonewhohasaids wecouldtryourbesttoencouragethemtofacetheirlives short butmeaningful humanbeingsshouldmakeeveryefforttocuresuchadisease leadingtoaworldwhereeverybodycouldenjoyahealthierandhappierlifesincetheshadowofaidshasgonewiththewind yougrabthereader sinterestbyhavingusimaginehowwewouldfeelifwehaveaids agreatbeginning yourwritingaboutthisseriousproblemisverysensitive ithinkyouhelppeopleunderstandaidsandcareaboutpeoplewithaids 思考之二激发学生学习英语写作动机的途径 教师 外教 点评获得乐趣 感到满足 持之以恒 中外文化对话 领悟异域文化 excellent iloveyourdescription ithinkitwouldbeevenbettertolivethere itseemsverypeaceful idon tknowwhy maybegardensmakethingspeaceful mymomhasagardeninthesummerthatisfullofasparagus flowers eggplants beans pears andtomatoes so ilovegardens hence ilikeyourstory excellent itisveryimportanttobeabletotellthegoodandthebadthingsabouteverything youranalysisandexplanationisveryclearyouhaveobviouslyspenttimeoverthis welldone verywellwritten itisimportanttohaveahobbyanditsoundslikeyoureallyenjoycollectingthesebooks however youmustmakesurethatyourhobbydoesn ttaketheplaceofyourstudies welldone iti