搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎.doc

Heart broken Billing：XiMenchuixueYeGuchengHuaManlouKingPanJinlian Narratage/soldier N：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you !X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. Whats your name?Y: Ha ha , I wont change my name, no matter what happens. Im the most famous-YeGucheng. Who are you?X: I am XiMenchuixue.Y:Ah? XiMenchuixue?X: Yes, whats wrong?Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.X: Great, you know me !Y: But your wife is my first lover.X: What?Y抱腿: Oh, Please, please Dont kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y: I dont want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me!X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Dont force me!X: 拔刀砍向Y(Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去)X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: Just drink it!X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha.Y: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you wont forget what you said!?X:Im sure I wont!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I dont beat you this time, youll never behave properly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !Y大笑：HaHaX可怜状: Help!Help! Where is the washroom?Y: What ?X: Toliet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see. go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a high building! You cant miss it.X: Thanks, bye bye.X与J相遇X跑过来J举牌：Ladies roomJ: You saw me!? You animal, monster, bullshit! (一边拉拉锁一边说)I kill you!X: Oh, No! I am sorry honey, but you are so beautiful! Whats your name?J: My first name is Jinlian, and my family name is Pan.X: Oh, PanJinlian!? So nice name. I love you. You have the most beautiful face, nose and little lips. Would you like to marry me?J: Yes, Id like to. But do you get married? X: Of course, ahnot! What about you?J: Umneither am I. But do you have a ring to give me？X: I will get one for you.J: I love you. I will be right here waiting for you.N: Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring. Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time.Y: You see? It is really terrible for a person not being good at English.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is XiMenchuixue now!H: Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: HuaManlou! Have you seen XiMenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now, haH惊讶: So, now, you are the best in the world!Y: Clever girl.H: You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join us?Y: Yes, my pleasure.H: Ok, follow me. Lets go to see my king!Y: Ok, Lets go! My first lover in dreams.H: What?Y: Nothing.H:My dear king ! Let me introduce YeGucheng to you! （指Y）This is YeGucheng.K: Sit down please, YeGucheng.H走到Y前，婚礼进行曲起，H: YeGucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , rainstorm or Aids?Y: Yes, I do.K: Gucheng , come closely. 给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停）X唱着上: Only you(看到戒指) this ring will be mine!K: But who are you? Why should it belong to you?Y急切: King! Dear king! I must go now, my mother asks me to go back home to have dinner.X: I am XiMenchuixue. YeGucheng, come here! Give me the ring!Y: Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去)X转身准备离开K: Arrest him!X: I will kill anyone who is in my way, no matter he is a human being or a Buddha.S: I am the most handsome soldier in the world. My favorite is looking myself in the mirror. I am here. I am here! I am here! You cant go, boy!?X拔刀捅个不停，S动作配合但不死X擦汗：I am too tired to kill you, but I will cut down your head.S: Oh, God! Where is my head? Without a head, I will be very, very ugly. World without being handsome, I would rather die. AhK: Ah, XiMenchuixue is really rude. You see? The handsome soldiers brain was broken into pieces. Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.N: Then, XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover with the ring. But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixues wife. So what will happen next?H: My dear husband, where are you going?X: Something important! Dont follow me.H: But the ring should be mine. (X找到了金莲, but H 也跟来了.)H: Oh, shit(捂眼). What are you doing? You little bitch, I will kill you. Nine Yin bones claw?J: HaHaHa! My son is Li Gang, I fear nothing(自信).Who the hell are you?H: Im his wife !?!J: You have a wife? You cheated me!X: But you have a son, named Li Gang. My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影)J: My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场)H:（大喊）My heart is broken into pieces!(冲背影)Fuck your sisters.N：At the same time, Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.Y: 转身准备离开K: Gucheng!? Are you going to abandon me?Y: I will!K: Why ? Y:Because Im not a gay. Once, there was a sincere love available for me , but I didnt cherish. Now I regret to die! If the god would give me another chance, I would have said to that girl “I love you” .If there must be a limit for it , I hope it was one night. But now ,my heart is broken(退场)K: Oh