【116】The One With Two Parts.doc

The One With Two Parts, part 1116 双胞胎两部曲（一） 德和乔伊碰到了菲比的孪生姐姐乌苏拉；乔伊和她约会，这可惹恼了和姐姐关系僵持的菲比。 罗斯和卡萝及苏珊一起参加助产课程；卡萝对分娩心怀恐惧；罗斯意识到自己将升级为人父。 钱德为公司里一名雇员所吸引，却受命要解雇她，他实在下不了手，于是开始约会她，并告诉每个人说，她精神状态极度失衡，如果解雇她后果将不堪设想；她注意到人们态度异样，钱德不得不摊牌。 罗斯管教不了他的猴子马赛尔，马赛尔把莫妮卡的电视调到西班牙模式，谁也不知道怎么能调回来。 海先生说他养了猫。 电视剧为你疯狂中的简米和弗蓝在Central Perk中亮相，还把菲比错当成乌苏拉。 瑞秋终于去取圣诞灯饰，但不慎从阳台跌下，在海先生家窗外悬着。 1.16 The One with the Two Parts, part 1Chandler and Joey meet Ursula, Phoebes twin sister; Joey begins dating Ursula, but that bothers Phoebe, who doesnt get along with her sister very well. Ross attends Lamaze class with Carol and Susan; Carol isnt sure she can go through with the delivery; Ross realizes hes really going to be a father. Chandler cant bear to fire an employee hes attracted to, so he starts to date her and tells everyone else shes mentally unbalanced, so it isnt safe to fire her; she begins to notice people treating her oddly, so Chandler has to come clean(v.坦白承认). Ross has trouble controlling his monkey, Marcel, who switches Monicas TV into Spanish mode; no one can figure out how to switch it back. Mr. Heckles could have cats. Jamie and Fran (from Mad About You) make an appearance in Central Perk. Rachel finally gets around to taking down the Christmas lights, but falls off the balcony in the process, and ends up hanging upside down outside Mr. Heckles window.Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.ham n.火腿(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)identical twin n.同卵双生/wait on v.招待/inimitable adj.不可仿效的Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)spin around v.旋顾四周Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?Chandler: Wait, wait! What are you doing here?Ursula: Yeah, I was over there, then you said, Excuse me, hello Miss, so now Im here.Joey: No, no. how come you are working here?how come adv.怎么会Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.apron n.围裙Chandler: Can we start over?start over v.重新开始Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)Chandler & Joey: No, no, no!Opening CreditsScene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.wintry adj.寒冷的/snowplow n.扫雪机/pay court to v.追问Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, supposedly by accident.act out v.表演/supposedly adv.按照推测地eg:Economic recovery is supposedly getting underwayRachel: No, yeah, Ive done that.Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.in a row adv.连续地Rachel: Ive never done that.(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.Joey: Im sayinI see a difference.Chandler: Theyre twins!Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas. hot!(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?Joey: Yeah.Chandler: Lets not do that any more.(They hang up their coats and scarves, then approach their friends on the main sofa.)hang up v.把.挂起来/scarf n.围巾All: Hey guys! Hey!Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay. um, Liam Neeson.William John Liam Neeson OBE (born June 7, 1952) is an Irish actor. He is arguably best known for his role as Oskar Schindler in the 1993 film Schindlers List, and has since been involved in several other popular films, including Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace, Kingdom of Heaven, Batman Begins, Rob Roy, The Chronicles of Narnia and Taken . He has also continued to play real-life characters, including Michael Collins and Alfred Kinsey and is also set to play President Abraham Lincoln in a biographical film directed by Steven Spielberg.Joey: Nope.Phoebe: Morly Safer.Morley Safer (born November 8, 1931) is a reporter and correspondent for CBS News. Safer was born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He attended Harbord Collegiate Institute when he was young. He later graduated from University of Western Ontario.Safer began his journalism career as a reporter for various newspapers in Canada and England. Later, he joined the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation as a correspondent and producer.Joey: Nope.Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.Chandler: Your sister Ursula.Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.Chandler: Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh.Phoebe: Rifts. Yeah, I know.Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, is she fat?Joey: Not from where I was standin.Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just didnt get along?get along v.融洽相处Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know. Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it. later that same day. But, to my parents, by then，it was like yeah, right, well what else is new?dumb adj.愚蠢的Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.Lamaze adj.无痛分娩法的 心理助产法的Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but Ill catch you in Gym.Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.Rachel: Well, isnt that gonna be weird?Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mightve been at first, but by now, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.distractedly adv.惊慌失措地/by now adv.事到如今Monica: Ross, thats my jacket.Ross: I know.(Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.trio n.三人组Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?Ross: Hi, Im (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and. (pats Carols bulge) .thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this. is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com. (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) .whos next?bulge n.凸出 膨胀Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get. Susan is?Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend.Carol: Life partner.Ross: Like buddies.Susan: Like lovers.Ross: You know how close women can get.(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)affectionately adv.挚爱地Carol: Susan and I live together.Ross: Although I was married to her.Susan: Carol, not me.Ross: Right.Carol: Its a little complicated.Ross: A little.Susan: But were fine.Ross: Absolutely. (Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins. hah! Thats like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.Scene : Chandlers Office, Chandler is working.(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.Chandler: Oh, okay. Send her in.(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)trophy n.战利品 奖杯/ostentatious adj.卖弄的 炫耀的Nina: Hi.Chandler: Hi, Nina. Come on in.Nina: You wanted to see me?Chandler: Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.postdate v.把的日期延后Nina: Which is bad, because?Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.out of whack 紊乱 (机器等)不正常Nina: Your. excuse me?Chandler: WENUS. (Coughs) Weekly Estimated Net.Nina: Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Wont happen again. I wouldnt wanna do anything to hurt your. wenus.gotcha =(I have)got you我明白你的意思了(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say; so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly.)beam v.堆满笑容 眉开眼笑eg:Upon hearing the good news he beamed with joy/flirtatiously adv.爱调情的 轻佻地Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.takeout n.外卖/sitcom n.情景喜剧/Family Matters is an American sitcom about a middle-class family living in Chicago. The series aired from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997 on ABC and moved to CBS on September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998.Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that. shes really really cute.Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.(Marcel scampers about, interfering with the neatness.)scamper v.蹦蹦跳跳/interfere with v.妨碍 干扰/neatness n.整洁 干净Monica: Ross, your little creatures got the remote again.Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now. Marce. you give Rossie the remote.(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)dub v.配音Monica: Great.Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.fix it处理Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool. Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?(Rachel slowly spins around, finally noticing that the lights have outstayed their welcome.)outstay vt.逗留得比.久Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years. but obviously someone forgot.Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write Rach, take down the lights and put it on the re. frigerator. (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?refrigerator n.冰箱(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)Chandler: Hey, where you been?Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.tuna n.金枪鱼tuna meltcurly fries Chandler: Score.Joey: She is so hot!Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by . (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)Joey: Pheebs?Phoebe: (Jumping up) Yeah?Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna. do that? Why?Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um. I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but. you know, weve grown apart, so, um. I dont know, why not? Okay.egg n.卵/apart adv.分离地Joey: Cool, thanks.(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)gesture at v.向某人做手势Ross: You okay?Phoebe: Yeah Im fine.Ross: You wanna watch Laverne & Shirley?Laverne & Shirley was a popular American television situation comedy that ran on ABC from 1976 to 1983. It starred Penny Marshall as Laverne De Fazio and Cindy Williams as Shirley Feeney, roommates who, as the series began, worked in a Milwaukee brewery(n.啤酒厂).(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)refrain n.副歌/lilt n.轻快活泼的调子Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.diaper n.尿布/pretend baby n.假婴儿/squash v.压扁/bleat v.咩咩的叫/in protest adv.以作为反抗Ross: Sorry.Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.Ross: No. No. No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And. coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.get on ones back躺下来/coach n.教练(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)Ross and Susan: What? What? What?Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?Ross: Okay, Im gonna play my sperm card one more time.one more time adv.再一次Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?Susan: I will flip you for it.Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no. heads, heads, heads!Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back. Mom.(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)Teacher: Alright, Mommies, take a nice deep cleansing breath.(Forgetting herself, Susan does the Mommy action with Ross.)Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.vagina n.阴道(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)glare v.瞪眼 怒视Scene: Chandlers Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.Chandler: And?Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.Chandler: So what does this mean?Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.lay off v.裁员Chandler: Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very.Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?Scene: Chandlers Office, later that day, Nina is in his office.Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.(She sympathetically reaches out to fondle the inner thigh of his left leg.)sympathetically adv.怜悯地/reach out伸出/fondle v.抚弄/the inner thigh n.大腿内侧Nina: Are you okay?Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was. please dont hate me.Nina: (Taking her hand away) What?Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?(Nina gasps in surprise and relief.)Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.Rachel: Okay. Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?Crabtree & Evelyn is an American retailer of body, face and home products with stores globally. It was founded in 1973 in Cambridge, Massachusetts, by Cyrus Harvey.The company was named after the Crabapple tree and John Evelyn. The crabapple tree is the ancestor of all cultivated apple trees. John Evelyn was a 17th century Englishman most famous for the first important conservation literature, Sylva diary.According to their website, Crabtree & Evelyn use over 160 natural botanical(adj.植物的) ingredients in their skin care products.Crabtree & Evelyn is owned by the Malaysia company Kuala Lumpur Kepong Berhad.Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.bath salt n.浴盐Rachel: Ooh, okay. good.(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)Mad About You is an American sitcom that aired on NBC from September 23, 1992, to May 24, 1999. The show starred Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt as a newly married couple in New York City. Reiser played Paul Buchman, a documentary film maker. Hunt played Jamie Stemple Buchman, a public relations specialist. Near the end of the shows run, the couple had a baby daughter, whom they named Mabel.The series focused mainly on the newlyweds while they dealt with everything from humorous daily minutiae(n.细枝末节) to major struggles. The shows willingness to find comedy in realistic situations and observational dialogue garnered it comparisons to Seinfeld, another NBC comedy about thirty-somethings in New York City.Jamie: What is this place?Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and. (indicating the sign) .theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?(Jamie notices Phoebe sitting at the counter.)Jamie: I think we have an answer.Fran: Whats she doing here?Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.Fran: Think she got fired at Riffs?Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept. (shuddering at the memory) .bringing swordfish. (Indicat