商务英语写作概述.ppt

2020 3 24 1 BUSINESSWRITING商务英语写作CourseOutline 2020 3 24 2 TextBook 商务英语写作 修订版 BUSINESSENGLISHWRITING胡英坤车丽娟主编外语教学与研究出版社2013 8 2020 3 24 3 Contents 1AnOverviewofBusinessWriting2StructureandStyleofBusinessLetters3Sales relatedInquiriesandReplies4OrdersandConfirmationLetters5LettersaboutShipment 商务信函的结构与格式 商务写作概述 询盘与回复 订单与确认函 装运函 2020 3 24 4 6LettersAboutPaymentandSettlementofAccounts7RoutineClaimsandAdjustment8PersuasiveClaimsandRefusals9SalesLetters10InvitationandThank youLetters 付款与结帐函 日常投诉与理赔 邀请函与感谢信 销售函 说服性索赔与拒绝函 2020 3 24 5 11LettersofApologyandCongratulation12NoticeandAnnouncement13MemosandMinutes14Preparingresumes15LettersofApplication 道歉信与祝贺信 通知与通告 备忘录与会议记录 准备简历 申请信 2020 3 24 6 16LettersofRecommendation17Proposals18OrganizingandPreparingReports19Questionnaires20BusinessAgreements 意向书 商务协议 调查问卷 推荐信 报告 2020 3 24 7 BUSINESSWRITING商务英语写作 AnOverviewofBusinessWriting Unit1 商务写作概述 2020 3 24 8 Whytoimprovewritingskills Theabilitytowriteeffectivelyisavaluablebusinessasset Threereasons 1 businessistransactedinwriting 2 writingeffectivelyhelpsincreasecompanysalesandprofit 3 proficiencyinwritinggivesapersonaladvantage 2020 3 24 9 Tasksofthischapter FunctionsofBusinessWriting CriteriaforEffectiveBusinessWriting ModernChanges BasicPatternsofWriting 2020 3 24 10 Everybusinessmessageisdesignedtoachieveaspecificbusinessobjective Itssuccessdependsonwhatitsaysandtowhatextentitinducesafavorableresponsefromthereader 2020 3 24 11 I FunctionsofBusinessWriting Businesswritinghasthreefunctions ToinformToinfluenceToentertain 2020 3 24 12 Toinform Messagestoinformareusedtoconveythevastamountofinformationneededtocompletetheday to dayoperationsofthebusiness e g explaininstructionstoemployees announcemeetingsandprocedures acknowledgeorders acceptcontractsforservices etc 2020 3 24 13 Themajorpurposeofmostofthesemessagesistohavethereceiverunderstandabodyofinformationandconcentrateonthelogicalpresentationofthecontent 2020 3 24 14 Toinfluence Abusinessmessagemustalsoinfluencethereader sattitudesandactions e g letterspromotingaproductorserviceandseekingsupportforideasandworthycausespresentedtosupervisors stockholders customers clients andothers 2020 3 24 15 Toentertain Tosecurethedesiredresponse itisnecessarytohaveanadequateknowledgeoftheEnglishlanguageandanunderstandingofhumannature Thewritershouldhaveanacquaintancewiththeparticularinterestand ifpossible theemotionsofthereader 2020 3 24 16 Itseemseasyenough forexample toaskpaymentofabill butitisquitedifficulttosecurepaymentwithoutoffendingthereaderandlosinghisorherfuturepatronage Nocommunicationiswhollysuccessfulunlessitretainsthereader sgoodwill 2020 3 24 17 FunctionsofBusinessWriting 1 Toinformconveyinformation explaininstruction announcemeetingsandprocedures acknowledgeorders acceptcontract 2 Toinfluenceaffectthereader sattitudesandactions 3 Toentertainretainthereader sgoodwill 2020 3 24 18 CriteriaforEffectiveBusinessWriting Successfulbusinessmessage 1 thereceiverinterpretsthemessageasthesenderintendedit 2 itachievesthesender spurposes 2020 3 24 19 II CriteriaforEffectiveBusinessWriting 6 7Cs CourtesyCorrectnessConcisenessConsideration ClarityConcretenessCompleteness 2020 3 24 20 Courtesy Beingverypolite eveninaskingtheaddresseetopaybackthedebtsorrefusinghisdemands yourletterstillshouldbeverymildandtactful Beingpromptinreplyingtotheoppositepart sletter Thereplyshouldusuallybesentonthesameday Ifitisimpossibleforyoutogiveapromptreplyindetailonthesameday youshouldwriteashortnottotheclientexplainingwhy 2020 3 24 21 GoodwillEffects friendly courteousthingsthatmakerelationsbetweenpeopleenjoyable 2020 3 24 22 Example1 DearSirs wearesorryyouhavemisunderstoodus DearsSirs wearesorrywedidn tmakeourselvesclear Wecannotunderstandwhyyouhavehadtroublewiththesearticles Wepresumethattheremustbesomereasonsforyouhavingtroublewiththesearticles 2020 3 24 23 Iwritetosendmycongratulations Congratulationstoyouonyourpromotion Wewon tbeabletosendyouthebrochurethismonth Wewillsendyouthebrochurenextmonth 2020 3 24 24 Yourletterisnotclearatall Ican tunderstandit IfIunderstandyourlettercorrectly tactful 2020 3 24 25 Usingyour viewpoint atechniqueforbuildinggoodwill emphasizesthereader sinterestandconcerns 2020 3 24 26 DifferentAttitudesWe IattitudeYouattitude Alargesaleofourproductswillmakeourcompanymoreprofitable Weareinneedoffundandyoumustpay Wecannotofferyouanyrefund Obviouslyyouforgettellingusthecolor Agoodsaleoftheproductswillbenefityou Tomaintainyourexcellentcredit pleaseremit Youcouldobtainarefundif Pleaseindicateyourchoiceofcolor 2020 3 24 27 ExamplesofYou attitude We viewpoint1 Iamhappytoreport2 Wearepleasetohaveyournewaccount3 WemakeWilletrazorinthreeweights light medium andheavy You viewpoint1 Youwillhappytoknow 2 Yournewchargeaccountisnowopenforyourconvenience 3 Sothatyoucanchoosetheonerazorthatisjustrightforyourbeard Willetmakesrazorsforyouinthreeweights light medium andheavy 2020 3 24 28 Takingapositivetone 2020 3 24 29 ProjectaPositive TactfulTone Chapter3 2020 3 24 30 Projectapositive tactfultone 1 1 StateideasusingpositivelanguageSpeakofwhatcanbedoneinsteadofwhatcannotbedone ofthepleasantinsteadoftheunpleasantPositivewordsmakemessagesmorediplomaticandpromotepositivehumanrelationThinkofexamplesofnegativelanguageyouhaveheardthatcouldbeeasilybestatedusingpositivewords 2020 3 24 31 Don tforgettosubmityourreport Wecan tshipyourgoodsuntil Youneglecttoindicatethespecification 1 Stateideasusingpositivelanguage Remembertosubmit Youwillreceiveyourgoods Pleasesendthecompletespecification 2020 3 24 32 NegativeattitudePositiveattitude Wecannotdeliveryourorderonschedulebecauseoftheearthquake Nowthatweareshortoffunds wehavetoputtheproposedprojectaside Wewilldeliveryourorderwhentheroadresumestotraffic Ifwesolvethefinancialproblem wewillstarttheproject 2020 3 24 33 2 Avoidusingsecondpersonwhenstatingnegativeideas Youmadenumerousmistakesonthispage Youkeyedaperfectcopy preferred Thispagecontainnumerousmistakes preferred 2020 3 24 34 3 Usepassivevoicetoconveynegativeideas SuburodidnotproofreadthisproposalcarefullySuburocompletedthejobtwomonthsbehindthescheduleSuburocompletedthejobtwomonthsaheadoftheschedule TheproposalwasnotproofreadcarefullyThejobwascompletedtwomonthsbehindthescheduleThejobwascompletedtwomonthsaheadoftheschedule 2020 3 24 35 4 Usethesubjunctivemood NegativeIcannotaccepttherecommendationIamnotabletoacceptyourinvitation SubjunctiveMoodIwishIcouldaccepttherecommendationIcouldacceptyourinvitationifIweretocancelmymeetingon 2020 3 24 36 5 Includeapleasantstatementinthesamesentence Yourpersonalratingsforcommunicationabilityweresatisfactory Yourpersonalratingsforcommunicationabilityweresatisfactory butyourratefortechnicalcompetencewasexcellent 2020 3 24 37 Beingconversational Conversationallanguage DullandstiffPleasebeadvisedthatyourshouldsigntheformbeforethe1st Kindlyadviseatanearlydate Iherewithhandyou Thankingyouinadvance ConversationalPleasesigntheformbeforethe1st Pleaseletmeknowsoon Hereis I llsincerelyappreciate 2020 3 24 39 Correctness Correctgrammar punctuationandspellingarebasicrequirementsforbusinesswriting Inaddition correctnessmeanschoosingthecorrectleveloflanguage andusingaccurateinformationanddata 2020 3 24 40 Example2 Enclosedisthecopyofreceipt Enclosedisacopyofthereceipt Iamlookingforanothersaleschannels Iamlookingforothersaleschannels 2020 3 24 41 A withpronouns Ourcompetitorsweremostsuccessfulthanours us B withadjectives Thetwofirst firsttwo itemsarenotavailable 2020 3 24 42 C witharticle Weareinterestedinsame thesame D withverbs Neitheroftheoffersare is acceptable Ablockofflatsare is beingbuilt 2020 3 24 43 E withadverbs Wehadaquite quitea successfulmeeting F withconjunctions Henotonlybuilt builtnotonly houses butalsoflats 2020 3 24 44 G withparticiplesWhilestudyingthereport thetelephonerang insert Iwas betweenwhileandstudying WhileIwasstudyingthereport thetelephonerang Specialattentionshouldalsobepaidtonamesofarticle specifications quantity figures units etc 2020 3 24 45 AvoidSentenceFaults Seethefollowingexamples Avoidfragments 不完整的句子 Avoidcommasplices 逗号拼接句 Avoidrun onsentences 连写句 Eliminatemisplacedelements Eliminatedanglingmodifiers 垂悬修饰语 2020 3 24 46 Avoidfragments Asentencefragmentlackseitherasubject Actor orverb Action Myresearchreportinbusinesscommunicationtookalongtimetoprepare Andturnedoutbadly Myresearchreportinbusinesscommunicationtookalongtimetoprepare butitturnedoutbadly 2020 3 24 47 Avoidcommasplices Acommaspliceresultswhentwosentencesareincorrectlyjoinedorsplicedtogetherwithacomma Profitsweredownin2005 theBoardblamedtherecession Profitsweredownin2005 TheBoardblamedtherecession 2020 3 24 48 Avoidrun onsentences Arun onsentencejoinstwocompletethoughtswithoutproperpunctuation Employeeswanttokeeptheirjobstheywillworkhardforpromotions Employeeswanttokeeptheirjobs Theywillworkhardforpromotions Eliminatemisplacedelements Wehavetakenthechecktothebank whichwasunsigned Thethree yearbudgetsarebeingreturnedtothestrategicplanningcommittee whichhavesomeseriousdefects Wehavetakenthecheckwhichwasunsignedtothebank Thethree yearbudgets whichhavesomeseriousdefects arebeingreturnedtothecommittee Eliminatedanglingmodifiers Tocreatethatbarchart theinformationmustbekeyedintoaspreadsheet 电子数据表 file Althoughtiedup thefeasibilityreporthadtobecompleted Tocreatethatbarchart youmustkeytheinformationintoaspreadsheetfile Althoughshewastiedup Soniahadtocompletethefeasibilityreport 2020 3 24 51 Conciseness Effectivewritingisconcise eachword sentence andparagraphcounts Concisenessmeanstowriteinthefewestpossiblewordswithoutsacrificingcompletenessandcourtesy Concisenesswillgiveemphasistoyourmessage Timeismoney 2020 3 24 52 Communicateconcisely 1 EliminateredundanciesRedundancy aphraseinwhichonewordunnecessarilyrepeatanideacontainedinancompanyingword e g exactlyidentical pasthistory advanceforward briefsummary honesttruth hotwaterheater 2020 3 24 53 Communicateconcisely 2 2 Useactivevoicetoreducethenumberofwords3 Includeonlyessentialinformation4 Eliminateclich sthatareoftenwordyandnotnecessarytounderstandthemessage5 Donotrestateideasthataresufficientlyimplied6 Usesuffixesorprefixes7 Usecompoundadjectives 2020 3 24 54 Example3 Wedonotanticipateanyincreaseinpricesinthenearfuture Poor Wedonotexpectpricestorisesoon Better Owingtothefactthatyourcompetitor spriceismuchlowerthanyours wecannotacceptyouroffer Poor Becauseyourcompetitor spriceismuchlowerthanyours wecannotacceptyouroffer Better 2020 3 24 55 Shortenwordyexpressions Wehavebeguntoexportourmachinestocountriesabroad Wehavebeguntoexportourmachines 2020 3 24 56 Usewordstoreplacephrasesorclauses IntheeventthatyouspeaktoMrWoodinregardtoproduction askhimtogiveconsiderationtothedeliveryschedule IfyouspeaktoMrWoodaboutproduction askhimtoconsiderthedeliveryschedule 2020 3 24 57 Werequirefurniturewhichisofthenewtype Werequirenew typefurniture 2020 3 24 58 Example ClutteringwordsAtthepresenttimeForthepurposeofForthereasonthatAnaccordancewithInthenearfutureInviewofthefactthat ConcisesubstitutionsNowForSince becauseBySoonSince because 2020 3 24 59 Example ClutteringwordsOnthebasisOntheoccasionofWithaviewtoWithregardto withreferencetoPriorto ConcisesubstitutionsByOnToAboutbefore 2020 3 24 60 Surpluswords Therearefiverulesthatshouldbeobserved Fiverulesshouldbeobserved IntheperiodbetweenJuneandAugusttheyfoundtheerror BetweenJuneandAugusttheyfoundtheerror 2020 3 24 61 Repetition Itcameatatimewhenwewerebusy Itcamewhenwewerebusy Jewelrydepreciateinvalueslowly Jewelrydepreciateslowly Itwillcostasumof 130 Itwillcost 130 2020 3 24 62 HeaskedaboutacertainpersonbythenameofBillJones HeaskedaboutapersonbythenameofBillJones WemetinthecityofColumbusthatyear WemetinColumbusthatyear Thecellphonesellsforthepriceof 79 99 Thecellphonesellsfor 79 99 2020 3 24 63 Ournewmodelislongerinlengththantheoldone Ournewmodelislongerthantheoldone Theconsensusofopinionisthatthetaxisunfair Theconsensusisthatthetaxisunfair 2020 3 24 64 Clarity Claritytellsthereaderexactlywhatheorshewantsandneedstoknow usingwordsandaformatthatmakeyourwritingstotallyunderstoodwithjustonereading Short familiarwordsandsimple shortsentencesratherthanlong difficultwordsandcomplexandlongsentencesarebetterforthispurpose Timeismoney 2020 3 24 65 Example4 Theyhaveadecidedadvantageinregardtofreight Poor Theyhaveadecidedadvantageinregardtofreightcharges 运费 Better TheyinformedMessrs SmithandRichardsonthattheywouldreceiveananswerinafewdays Poor TheyinformedMessrs SmithandRichardsonthatthelatterwouldreceiveananswerinafewdays Better 货运 运费 船货 2020 3 24 66 freight freit n 1 goodscarriedbyalargevehicle2 transportinggoodscommerciallyatratescheaperthanexpressrates3 thechargefortransportingsomethingbycommoncarrierwepaythefreightthefreightrateisusuallycheaper 2020 3 24 67 Theshipstoppedheretotakeinfreight 这艘船在这里停泊装货 PleasequoteuspricesincludinginsuranceandfreighttoVancouver 请报包括到温哥华的保险和运费的价格 Francederives16 ofrevenuefromairfreight 法国国家税收的16 来自于航空货运 2020 3 24 68 Concreteness Yourwritingshouldbevivid specificanddefiniteratherthanvague generalandabstract especiallywhenyouarerequiringaresponse solvingproblems makinganofferoracceptance etc 2020 3 24 69 Example Ourapplesareexcellent Ourapplesarejuicy crispyandtender Concrete SmithtonCompanyisourbigbuyer SmithtonCompanydidmorethanonemillionUSDworthofbusinesswithusin2005 Concrete 2020 3 24 70 Thesebrakescanstopacarwithinashortdistance TheseGoodsonpowerbrakescanstopa2 toncarwithin24feet AdecisionhasbeenmadetosetupanofficeinOsaka TheboardofdirectorsdecodedtosetupanofficeinOsaka 2020 3 24 71 Completeness Includeallthenecessaryinformationanddatainthemessagebecauseinformationanddatacanhelpsendersgetreceivers responsesandachievedesiredobjectives Anincompletemessagemayresultin increasedcommunicationcosts lossofgoodwill sales andvaluedcustomers costofreturninggoods wastedtimetryingtomakesenseoutoftheincompletemessage 2020 3 24 72 Example6 Supposeyouarewritingalettertoyoursuppliertellinghimthathisgoodswerenotdeliveredontime Whatkindofinformationshouldyouincludeinyourletter 2020 3 24 73 Completemessage Remindinghimofhispromiseoftimelydelivery Whatlosseshasthiscausedyou Askingforcompensationifthereisanyagreementonthat Expectingnosuchthingwillhappenagain 2020 3 24 74 III ModernChanges GoodwillEffects friendly courteousthingsthatmakerelationsbetweenpeopleenjoyable OtherEffects persuasion emphasis downplay 2020 3 24 75 Suggestions 1 Conversationalstyle2 Informalstyle3 Avoidtheoldlanguageofbusiness4 You viewpoint you attitude Avoidinsincerity 2020 3 24 76 suggestions 5 Accentonpositivelanguage6 Singlingoutyourreader7 Usingthereader snames8 Avoidanger 2020 3 24 77 IV BasicPatternsofWriting DirectnessinGood newsandRoutineMessages deductiveapproach IndirectnessinBad newsmessagesandpersuasionorsalesletters inductiveapproach 演绎法 归纳法 直接法 间接法 2020 3 24 78 DirectnessinWriting Threeparts 1 beginwiththemajoridea 2 providesupportingdetailsafterthemainidea3 endwithgoodwill 2020 3 24 79 DearMr Johnson WillyoudoGeorgeBaryonandmethefavorofprovidinganevaluativereportonhim Heisanassistantshippingclerkwithyou whowantstomanageabranchforus Hehasauthorizedthisinquiry Howwelldoesheknowpackingandhaulingtechniques Howdoyoujudgehisadministrativeabilitytorunanofficeofonesecretaryandaworkforceoffive Whatisyourappraisalofhisabilitytomeetcustomersandgenerallybuildgoodwillwiththecommunity Asafinalquestion isthereanythingelseyoucantellmethatmightindicatewhetherMr Baryonistherightpersonforourjob Iwillbegratefulforyouranswers Ofcourse whateveryoureportwillbeheldincloseconfidence INQUIRIESABOUTPEOPLE 2020 3 24 80 DearMr Johnson WillyoudoGeorgeBaryonandmethefavorofprovidinganevaluativereportonhim Heisanassistantshippingclerkwithyou whowantstomanageabranchforus Hehasauthorizedthisinquiry Howwelldoesheknowpackingandhaulingtechniques 2020 3 24 81 Howdoyoujudgehisadministrativeabilitytorunanofficeofonesecretaryandaworkforceoffive Whatisyourappraisalofhisabilitytomeetcustomersandgenerallybuildgoodwillwiththecommunity Asafinalquestion isthereanythingelseyoucantellmethatmightindicatewhetherMr Baryonistherightpersonforourjob 2020 3 24 82 Iwillbegratefulforyouranswers Ofcourse whateveryoureportwillbeheldincloseconfidence Sincerelyyours 2020 3 24 83 IndirectnessinWriting GuidelinesforBad newsMessagesFourparts Abuffer Reasonssupportingthenegativedecision Aclear diplomaticstatementofthenegativedecision Ahelpful friendly andpositiveclose 2020 3 24 84 CongratulationsonSettingaNewSalesRecordLastMonth YourAll outEffortsAreApparenttoAllofUs Asyouknow forthepastthreeyearswehaveheldourproductpriceconstantsothatwecouldincreaseourshareofthemarket Becauseofthispricelidandbecauseofyoureffectiveness wehaveachievedauevengreatermarketsharethanforecast Butinflationoverthepastthreeyearshasdrivenupourproductcosts Sowearenolongeroperatingasprofitablyaswemust Tokeepsalariesinlinewiththeinflationandtomaintain 2020 3 24 85 theindustry standardprofitmarginof3percentofgrosssales pricesofallourproductswillberaised10percentonthefirstofnextmonth Togenerateideasthatwillhelpmotivateourcustomerstoacceptthesepriceincreases themarketingdepartmentandsalesdepartmentwillholdajointmeetingat10 00a m nextThursdayinRoom336 Pleaseplantoattendit Weneedtodevelopsomegoodwaystominimizetheimpactofthesepriceincreas