2012届高考英语 考前冲刺精品复习讲义写作（十六） 北师大版

用心 爱心 专心 1 20122012 届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义 北师大版 写作 十六 届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义 北师大版 写作 十六 去年寒假我同父亲去乡下看望奶奶 我多年未回家乡 看到那儿发生了很大的变化 这次故 乡之行使我学到了不少东西 我打算今后每两年回去一次 学生习作 外教批改 During my last winter holiday I went to the1countryside with my father to visit my grandma with my father 2 I found a large change great changes there The first time I came back3 returned they are live4 were all living in dirty homes with dogs and ducks and any5 otheanimals Now 6 But last winter when I returned they had a big house to birth chickens 7 They also have8 had some poles in which it has9 some fish fishponds Every year they sell it and have the fish for a lot of money A lot of villagers in my grandma s village have10 had two storeyed houses evidencing that their life11 lives becoming better and better12 had improved I felt very happy During my trip I found they are13 all the villagers friendly and hard working I think these characteristics are worth of learning At the end of my trip I told my father that I had planned14 that I would come back planned to return every two years He admitted15 agreed that it was a good idea 旁 批 1 country 或 countryside 前要加定冠词 the 2 注意词序 要保证你的句子不会产生歧义 原句的意思是你拜访与你父亲住在一起的祖 母 用心 爱心 专心 2 3 如果用 come 就表示作者写此文时仍在家乡 4 原句中的 they are live 是一个常见的错误 不符合英语的语法 这里应该用过去进行 时态 5 你不是在说明数量 所以不必用 any 6 不是现在 now 是去年冬天 last winter 7 这句的意思很不清楚 所以无法进行修改 他们有一幢大的房子养鸡 还是 他们造了 一间很大的鸡舍让鸡住 8 注意保持时态一致 9 这不是英语 是按中文字面翻译的 参见改写后的句子 10 虽然这个情况可能现在仍是真实的 但故事发生在去年冬天 所以要用过去时态 11 你谈到的是村民们 而不只是一个人 所以 life 需要用复数形式 12 使用更直接的语言 improve 比 better and better 更好 高中水平还使用 better and better 这个词组不合适 13 改写后使宾语更清楚 动词 find 的结构是 find someone 形容词 14 如果用过去完成时态 had planned 就意味着作者不再打算这样做了 这里的打算发生 在告诉父亲的同时 所以只要用一般过去时态即可 15 在这里用 admit 不正确 它的意思是不情愿地同意某事是真实的 参见改写后的句子 虽然文章组织得当 题目要求也都在内容中体现出来 但词汇量不足以及时态的混 淆降低了作文的等级 为避免这些错误 写你知道的东西 如果你不知道表达某种观点的词汇 就不要提到它 想 想其他可写的东西 例如在这篇作文中 作者不应该提到池塘和鸡舍 因为他 她不清楚这 些词的英文表达 他应该挑自己熟悉的东西写 或者写一些更平常的东西 高分作文秘诀之九 使用恰当的过渡语 例如 表示转折关系的过渡语 however nevertheless on the other hand on the contrary conversely 表示递进关系的过渡语 in addition besides moreover furthermore what s more what s worse to make matters worse the most important of all worst of all especially in particular on top of that 用心 爱心 专心 3 表示结果关系的过渡语 therefore thus consequently as a result that s why 表示顺序关系的过渡语 firstly secondly thirdly lastly finally eventually last but not least to begin with after that meanwhile 表示总结的过渡语 in conclusion in brief in short in a word on the whole to sum up 表示个人观点的过渡语 in my opinion as far as I m concerned personally as for me to be frank 表示他人观点的过渡语 It is widely accepted that A commonly held idea is that It is taken for granted that 最近 你和父母回到家乡 你看到了家乡新建的一所学校 发现它与影集中父亲的母校的照 片有很大的差别 请你根据下面的一组图画 描述这两所学校的不同情况 并谈谈你的感想 注意 1 词数 120 左右 2 可以适当增加细节 以使行文连贯 参考范文 The two pictures show how greatly my father s hometown has changed in the past twenty years In the past my father s school was a big yard with a row of old houses There was a flag pole standing alone in the yard Several trees were planted around the 用心 爱心 专心 4 houses There was little sports equipment in it The new school in my father s hometown consists of a tall building and a large playground All kinds of sports facilities can be seen on the playground With trees and flo