GMAT作文模板与作文范文,极智批改网

GMATGMAT作文模板与作文范文作文模板与作文范文 极智批改网极智批改网 专属外教批改团队经过严格选拔与考核 所有批改外教对于官方批 改标准的膜拜和遵守超乎想像 极智批改网 SMARTPIGAI 专家团队深度分析破解官方指南 独创 作文九步批改法 和 口语四步批改法 最大程度真实还原 了出题机构的作文与口语批改过程 确保为用户提供最专业的作文与口语批改服务 同时还为用户提供 户个性化的 24小时加急批改 和 范文重写 等特色批改服务 关注极智批改网 SMARTPIGAI 微博获得最新备考信息 e weibo smartpigai关注极智批改网 SMARTPIGAI 微信第一时间 互动答疑 微信号smartpigai批改过程The conclusionendorsed inthis argumentisthatthe cityof Heliosisagood placefor paniesto establisha newbusiness To justifythe claim the authorproves provides offers1severalpiecesofevidence Firstly the authorpoints outthat Helioshas alower unemploymentrate thanaverage In addition the authorreasons that it isan industrialcenter What sis2more the authoralso3assumesthatHeliosisalsoseekingpaniesinordertoexp anditseconomicbase As weglance overreview the argument the author sargument4is somewhatconvincing but furtherreflection revealsthatitomits somethingimportant thatshouldbeaddressed tosolidify thisconclusion5 Therefore the reasoninginthis argumentisproblematic inseveral respects First ofall the authorclaims ithasthere is6alow unemploymentrateinHelios 7whichmeansitisdifficulttofindenou gh labors8forthosenew fledgelesscorporations Even thoughthey findenoughlabors9 new paniesmay notafford thehigh costof laborshigh staffcosts because of thelessavailableworkforce In otherwords the10low unemploymentrate willincrease thecost anddecrease theprofits ofthe pany 1动词形式不当2缩合错误3此处文字多余 可删除4重复使用5T he statementis excessivelyvague be specific 6从句使用不当7标点错误8可数名词错误9可数名词错误10 冠词错误Moreover the authorshows thatthecityof Heliosis theindustrialcenteroftheregion whichwill behelpless11tothedevelopmentofpaniesinnewareas Heliosisseek ing forcorporations thatfocus onresearch andtechnologies but ithas nofoundation inthose areas As weall know itishard difficultforapanytoestablishundersuchabackground For example almost allthe12labors13there areis14good atindustrial technologybecause itistheindustrialcenteroftheregion What ifnew paniese intothis city 15how couldthey findproper workforce toworkforthem evenif theunemploymentrateis low Last Finallybutnotthe16least another problemwith thisargumentisthatitsuffers froma falseanalogy betweenthe pastand the17future In orderto reachtheconclusion the authormust assumethat allthe situationsare entirelythe same In otherwords all otherfactors inthe pastshould stayremain stable However this cannotbe guaranteed It isequally possiblethat someofthekey factorshave alreadychanged orwill changeinthefuture Although thecity hasprovided lotsofmany jobsin historythepast18 it willnot offerso manyjobs whilenot offeras manyvacancies ifthe thepolicyischangedinthefuture To conclude thisargumentis notpersuasive asit standsbecauseofthe logicalflaws discussedabove Aordingly it shouldwouldbe muchmore prudentforthe author toclaim thatwhether thelowunemploymentrateisgood forthose corporationsor not In orderto11Be specific helpless is unclear 12冠词错误13可数名词错误14动词形式不当15标点错误16 冠词错误17冠词错误18选词不当makethisargumentlogicallyaeptab le theauthorwould haveto showthat19howtheindustrialcenterwill helpsthose paniesgrow up Also to furtherbolster theconclusion theauthorshould provideconcrete evidenceas wellto demonstratethattheanalogy intheargumentis appropriate Only withmore convincingevidence couldthisargumentsubstantiate thisconclusion 19连词使用不当或缺失总评及分数You havedeveloped aposition on the issue The lineof reasoningis sound The referencesare appropriate Structurally theresponse is adequate Some ofyour explanationsneed furtherclarity and thereare some minor fluencyissues whichneed tobeaddressed The essaygenerally maintainsproper focusonthe issue andis logicallyorganized The levelof cohesionis generallygood with someminor instances where itcould beimproved There areinstanceswheresentences havenot beendeveloped clearly As aresult they createsomeminordifficulty whilereading thetext Word selectionand sentenceformation needfurther review The rangeof vocabularyisadequate Item ExplanationScore Full Score is5 Task Response任务完成情况Effectiveness indeveloping an argument to support your evaluation oftheissue 准确分析题目并有效地论证自己的自己的观点4Organiz ationlogical andsound reasoning suitably supported 例子说服力很强且完全展开 论证具有逻辑性和说服力 并能适当地使用例子进行支持4Grammar语法Command ofthe elementsof StandardWritten English incl grammar word usage spelling and punctuation能运用标准的书面英语 包括语法 词汇 拼写及标点 3Holistic assessment整体评分Effectively articulateanddevelopanargumenttosupportyourevaluationofthei ssue cohesivelyand3fluently inthe presentationofthetext 有效提出并支持自己的观点 表达流畅 前后一致Total Score GMAT FullScoreis6 4 5专业批改 极速提分 就上极智批改网 SMARTP IGAI 极智批改网 SMARTPIGAI 由专属外教团队依据各大考试官 方指南为用户提供专业的作文批改和口语批改服务 专属外教批改团队经过严格选拔与考核 所有批改外教对于官方批 改标准的膜拜和遵守