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Passage 1How Old Is She?A woman was having some trouble with her heart, so she went to see the doctor. He was a new doctor, and did not know her, so he first asked some questions, and one of them was, “How old are you?”“Well,” she answered, “I dont remember, doctor, but I will try to think.” She thought for a minute and then said, “Yes, I remember now, doctor! When I married, I was eighteen years old, and my husband was thirty. Now my husband is sixty, I know. And that is twice thirty. So I am twice eighteen. That is thirty-six, isnt it?”Passage 2But the Chinese Did!One day Tom said to one of his friends, “Im going to have a holiday in Peking. But I dont speak Chinese, so Ill go to evening classes and have Chinese lessons for a month before I go.”He studied very hard for a month, and then his holidays began and he went to China.When he came back a few weeks later, his friend said to him, “Did you have any trouble with your Chinese when you were in Peking, Tom?”“No, I didnt have any trouble with it,” answered Tom. “But the Chinese did!”Passage 3There Is Something Very Nice Inside Your DrumIt was Jimmys birthday, and he was five years old. He got quite a lot of nice birthday presents from his family, and one of them was a beautiful big drum.“Who gave him that thing?” Jimmys father said when he saw it.“His grandfather did,” answered Jimmys mother.“Oh,” said his father.Of course, Jimmy liked his drum very much. He made a terrible noise with it, but his mother did not mind. His father was working during the day, and Jimmy was in bed when he got home in the evening, so he did not hear the noise.But one of the neighbors did not like the noise at all, so one morning a few days later, she took a sharp knife and went to Jimmys house while he was hitting his drum. She said to him, “Hello, Jimmy. Do you know, there is something very nice inside your drum. Heres a knife. Open the drum and lets find it.”Passage 4How Did You Lose Your Way?Mrs. Browns old grandfather lived with her and her husband. Every morning he went for a walk in the park and came home at half past twelve for his lunch.But one morning a police car stopped outside Mrs. Browns house at twelve oclock, and two policemen helped Mr. Brown to get out. One of them said to Mrs. Brown, “The poor old gentleman lost his way in the park and telephoned to us for help, so we sent a car to bring him home.” Mrs. Brown was very surprised, but she thanked the policemen and they left.“But, Grandfather,” she then said, “you have been to that park nearly every day for twenty years. How did you lose your way there?”The old man smiled, closed one eye and said, “I didnt quite lose my way. I just got tired and I didnt want to walk home!”Passage 5How to Make Everybody HappyPeters uncle lived in the country. Once Peter went to stay with him for a few weeks. Whenever they went for a walk or for a drive in the car and they passed somebody, his uncle waved. Peter was surprised, and said, “Uncle George, you know everybody here. Where did you meet them all?”“I dont know all these people,” said his uncle.“Then why do you wave to them?” asked Peter.“Well, Peter,” answer his uncle, “when I wave to someone and he knows me, he is pleased. He continues his journey with a happier heart. But when I wave to someone and he doesnt know me, he is surprised and says to himself, Who is that man? Why did he wave to me? So he has something to think about during the rest of his journey, and that makes his journey seem shorter. So I make everybody happy.”Passage 6 Stop Eating Fried PotatoesMrs. Jenkins went to her doctor one day, because her heart was giving her trouble.The doctor listened to her heart carefully and did a few other things. Then he said, “Well, Mrs. Jenkins, stop smoking, and then you will soon be quite all right again.”“But doctor,” answered Mrs. Jenkins quickly, “Ive never smoked. I dont like smoking.”“Oh, well,” said the doctor, “then dont drink any more alcohol.”“But I dont drink alcohol,” answered Mrs. Jenkins at once.“Stop drinking tea and coffee then,” the doctor said to her.“I only drink water,” answered Mrs. Jenkins. “I dont like tea or coffee.”The doctor thought for a few seconds and then said, “Well, er do you like fried potatoes?”“Yes, I like them very much,” answered Mrs. Jenkins.“All right, then stop eating those,” said the doctor as he got up to say goodbye to Mrs. Jenkins.Passage 7 Men and Women Are Equal NowA young woman got on a bus. There were no vacant seats on the bus, so she stood beside a young man sitting near a window. After a few minutes, the man looked around and stood up. However, to his great surprise, the woman pushed him back into his seat without saying anything. The man looked at the woman in bemusement but said nothing. After a while, the man stood up again; and again, the woman pushed him back. The man was more astonished, but he still kept silent. Several minutes later, the man stood up for the third time; and for the third time, the woman pushed him back. But this time, she said, “Gentleman, its 1990s now. Men and women are equal. You dont have to be gallant and give me your seat.” The young man responded, “Yes, madam, I know we are equal. But I just want to get off the bus.”Passage 8 Long HairMaddox liked to wear his hair very long. His hair ran down his shoulders, like a girls hair. Some of his friends thought it looked like a girls hair, but they never made any jokes about it. They didnt dare to, because Maddox was a big, strong man, and he thought there was nothing funny about his hair.Maddox always went to the barbers twice a month to have his hair cut. Once his barber fell ill and had to stay in hospital for a month, so Maddox had to go to a new barbers. When he sat down in front of the mirror, the new barber stared at his hair for some minutes and said to him, “Young man, why dont you let me cut most of this hair off and make your head tidy? Nobody would recognize you if I did that, I am sure.”Maddox said nothing for a few seconds, and then he said, “Perhaps you are right, but I am also sure that nobody would recognize you either if you did that to my hair.”Passage 9 An Urgent CallIn the middle of the night, Franks wife was suddenly taken ill. She had severe pains and asked Frank to call the doctor. Frank got up and put on his clothes. He said, “My dear, are you certain that you need the doctor? We must not wake him unless it is really necessary. Surely you can wait until morning, cant you?”“No, I cant. Go, go, go!” his wife shouted.So Frank went out into the dark street. He had only gone a few paces when he heard his wife calling him again.“Im all right now. The pain has disappeared and I shall not want the doctor.” she said. “Well, thats a relief,” Frank replied; and at once he started running as fast as he could towards the doctors house. When he arrived there, he banged on the door, loudly enough to wake everybody in the district.The doctor put his sleepy head out of the window and asked, “Eh? Whats that? Whos there?”“Oh, Doctor,” Frank called up to him, “Ive very good news for you. My wife was taken ill. I was on my way to bring you to her, but she called me back and said she was all right. So you neednt come. Go back to bed now, and sleep well!” Passage 10 I Went out in My SlippersHarley and Raymond worked in