高三英语书面表达评讲专题课件.ppt

书面表达评讲探讨,书面表达如何写？,五个步骤,1、审题,题材、人称、时态、要点,2、以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句话的细节要点。,3、联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点的词语扩展成句子。,4、联句成文：,注意：,主语和谓语,背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等）,逻辑关系,开头与结尾语篇衔接,5、检查修改，规范抄写,黄冈市2009年三月高三年级质量检测书面表达：第二节：短文写作（共1题，满分25分）假如你是某公司的产品推销员，请用英语介绍下面的产品：1.产品名称：noah-dict2.产地：中国深圳3.厂家：chengxincompanyltd.4.产品特点：电子词典，储存百万单词和短语,实现中英互译，仿真人发音，提供电子书籍下载功能。采用20年的研究成果，由高级电脑科技控制，轻金属制成，体小，易携带，易操作，价格合理。注意：词数100左右。,fivestepsforthewritingpractice:,step1:examinethetopicstyle:_tense:_person:_,说明文（introductorywriting）,present,third,step2:listthemainpoints1.产品名称namenoah-dict/theproductwhosenameisnoah-dict产地make/produceinshenzhen3.电子词典electronicdictionary/e-dictionary4.储存百万单词和词汇storemillionsofwordsandphraseswithacapacityofmillionsofwordsandphrases实现中英互译performatwo-waytranslation仿真人发音imitate/resemblearealpersonspronunciation7.提供电子书籍下载功能provide/havethefunctionofdownloadingelectronicbooks,step2:listthemainpoints采用20年的研究成果adopt/applythetechnicalresultaccumulateby20-yearresearch由高级电脑科技控制controlbyhigh/advancedtechnology轻金属制成bemadeoflightmetal11.体小smallinsize/itsvolumeisverysmall12.易携带easytocarry/itisconvenienttocarry13.易操作easytooperate14.价格合理priceisreasonable/sellatanattractiveprice,step3:makesomesentences:产品名称产地电子词典noah-dictisanelectronicdictionarymadeinshenzhen.储存百万单词和词汇thedictionarycanstore1millionwordsandphrases.3.实现中英互译thedictionarycanmakeatwo-waytranslationbetweenchineseandenglishcometrue.4.仿真人发音5.提供电子书籍下载功能6.采用20年的研究成果itisthetechnicalresultofthecompanys20-yearresearch.7.由高级电脑科技控制8.轻金属制成体小易携带itismadeoflightmetalanditsvolumeissmall,soitisconvenienttocarry.9.易操作价格合理itiseasytooperateanditspriceisreasonable.,thedictionarycanimitatearealpersonspronunciation.,italsoprovidesthefunctionofdownloadinge-books.,itiscontrolledbyadvancedcomputertechnology.,step4:connectthesentencesandmakesomeappolishment.step5:copyitoutcarefullyandclearly.,onepossibleversion(参考范文)noah-dictisaverypowerfule-dictionarymadeinshenzhen,china.itisthelatestproductofchengxincompanyltd.withalargevocabularyof1millionwordsandtermsstoredinit.soyoucanlookupanywordyoumeetinyourseniorperiod.whatsmore,thee-dictionarycanperformatwo-waytranslationbetweenchineseandenglish,whichhelpsyoustudymoreefficiently.additionally,itcanperfectlyimitatearealpersonspronunciation.italsoprovidesthefunctionofdownloadinge-books.noah-dictiscontrolledbyadvancedcomputertechnology,whichisthetechnicalresultofthecompanys20-yearresearch.thebodyofthenoah-dictismadeoflightmetal.thereforeitissmallinsizeandveryconvenienttocarry.besides,itiseasytooperate.thepriceisreasonable.itisawisechoiceforenglishlearners.,第五档（很好）：（21-25分）要点完整，表达清楚，无重大语法错误。完全完成了试题规定的任务。-覆盖所有内容要点。-应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。-语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。-有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。完全达到了预期的写作目的。第四档（好）：（16-20分）表达基本清楚，缺少个别要点，有些语法错误。完成了试题规定的任务。-覆盖主要内容。-应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。-语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致。-应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。达到了预期的写作目的。第三档（适当）：（11-15分）尚能表达，缺少多个要点，语法错误较多。基本完成了试题规定的任务。-基本覆盖主要内容。-应用的语法结构或词汇能基本满足任务的要求。-有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。-应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。,高考短文写作评分标准,第四部分：书面表达（满分25分）假设你是卜曼宜，你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。要点：问题：手机不响铃，不能发短信；该产品已售完，无法更换；型号新，无配件，无法维修。2.要求：公司应尽快予以更换。注意：1.词数为100左右；2.参考词汇：配件sparepart3.电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好（不计入你所写词数）；4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。,wheniboughtithome,ifoundtherewereseveralproblemsaboutthequalityofthemobilephone.thereisnoringinthenewmobilephone,besides,itcannotbeusedtosendshortmessages.wheniwantbacktothelocalcompany,themanagertoldmethisproducthassoldoutandthatiwasntabletochangeit.whatsworse,thisstylemobilephoneisanewproduct,thereisnosparepartandcanttoberepaired.theseproblemsworriesmemost.ihopeyourcompanywouldchangeitformeassoonaspossible.,【分析】基本表达清楚；时态运用恰当；采用了些简单连接手法；内容较连贯；准确性不够。,15,第四部分：书面表达（满分25分）假设你是卜曼宜，你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。要点：问题：手机不响铃，不能发短信；该产品已售完，无法更换；型号新，无配件，无法维修。2.要求：公司应尽快予以更换。注意：1.词数为100左右；2.参考词汇：配件sparepart3.电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好（不计入你所写词数）；4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。,however,someproblemsarepresentedwiththismobilephone.inthefirstplace,whentherearephonecalls,themobilephonejustcantring.inaddition,shortmessagescanneverbesent.whenicamebacktothemallforexchange,iwasdisappointedtobetoldthatthismodelhadbeensoldout.worsestill,itisanewmodel,thusnosparepartisavailableatthemoment.nowherecanihavethisphonerepaired.maybetherearesomealternativestohandlethiscase,butihopeitcanbedealtwithandsolvedassoonaspossible.inbrief,mypersonalviewpointisthatyoureplacethismobilephone.imlookingforwardtoyourreply.,【分析】全文共九个句子,其中有两个时间状语从句,一个并列句;一个倒装句;一个表语从句。运用了however,inthefirstplace,inaddition,worsestill,inbrief五个过渡性词汇。运用了available,alternative两个较高级词语。,25,20,学生作品(6班王军)anewproductnamednoah-dicthasbeenputonsalelately.itisakindofelectricaldictionaryproducedbychengxincompanyltd,whichislocatedinshenzhenchina.thenewproducthasmanyadvantages,oneofwhichisthatthedictionarycontainsmillionsofwordsandphrases,anditcantranslatechineseintoenglisheachotherinavoicewhichresemblesextremelyrealpeoplesvoice.whatsmore,moreinformationandbookscanbedownloadedifnecessary.theproductisresearchedbytwentyyearsefforts,anditisthehightechnologythatcontrolsthedictionary,whichmakesyougetinformationmorequickly.itisconvienientforyoutotakebecauseitismadeoflightmetalandinsmallsize.itnotonlycanbeoperatedeasilybutalsothepriceisreasonable.ibelievethatthenewproductwillbeagoodfriendinyourlife.,【高分的理由】1.各种句式及结构的合理运用,【高分的理由】3.要点全面，时态正确,学生作品anewproductnamednoah-dicthasbeenputonsalelately.itisakindofelectricaldictionaryproducedbychengxincompanyltd,whichislocatedinshenzhenchina.thenewproducthasmanyadvantages,oneofwhichisthatthedictionarycontainsmillionsofwordsandphrases,anditcantranslatechineseintoenglisheachotherinavoicewhichresemblesextremelyrealpeoplesvoice.whatsmore,moreinformationandbookscanbedownloadedifnecessary.theproductisresearchedbytwentyyearsefforts,anditisthehightechnologythatcontrolsthedictionary,whichmakesyougetinformationmorequickly.itisconvienientforyoutotakebecauseitismadeoflightmetalandinsmallsize.itnotonlycanbeoperatedeasilybutalsothepriceisreasonable.ibelievethatthenewproductwillbeagoodfriendinyourlife.,【美中不足】,14,【分数不理想的原因】,3.过渡衔接不自然,4.文面不整洁,学生作品佳句欣赏,ourcompanyhasproducedanewproductnamednoah-dict,whichismadeinshenzhen,china.(18班吴胜莉)designedbychengxincompanyltd,theelectronicdictionarynamednoah-dictwasproducedinshenzhen,china.(20班李瑞洁)thenewproductisanelectronicdictionarywhichcanstoremillionsofwordsaswellasexpressions.(6班肖红)thiskindofelectronicdictionarycontainsmillionsofwordsandexpressionswhichareessentialforbothmiddleschoolstudentsandcollegestudents.(18班江静)twodecadesofhardworkwiththousandsoffailures,ourresearchersmakethebreakthrougheventually,thatis,thenoah-dict.(18班刘琬)whatdeservesattentionisthattheproductistheachievementofnearly20yearsresearch.(6班王超),itismoreasmallcomputerthananormaldictionary.(18班刘琬)ithassomanyfunctionsthatitisalmostassmartasacomputer.(20班杨凯)downloadinge-booksisalsoavailableforyou.(18班刘琬)itprovidesthefunctionofdownloadingtheelectronicbookstobroadenyourhorizons.(18班李辰)thevolumeofnoah-dictissmall,thusitcanbecarriedandoperatedeasily.(6班刘小晶)whereveryougoyoucancarryitconvenientlyforitssmallsize.(6班黄冬)whatsthemostimportantisthatitspriceisveryreason