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1、Topic 2: Listening skills聆听技巧,Which do you prefer talking or listening?,The listening process,While hearing is a passive process, listening is a conscious, knowing response to the message. The listener hears sounds, interprets those sounds and attaches meaning to the sounds in the message.,What is l
2、istening?,Through listening, we store, classify and label information. Listening, therefore, involves attention, interpretation and understanding. listening to another person takes time and effort.,A listener who really understands the senders intended message is an effective listener who can match
3、the listening approach-active listening, informational listening and evaluative listening to the listening purpose.,Active listening,The active approach is used when a listener wants to help the sender solve a problem or to understand the content and feelings in the message. The listener listens act
4、ively and with filtering communication information on the basis of past experiences empathy.,Active listening focuses attention and provides feedback, allowing speakers to express their feelings and identify the real cause of those feelings. Attending, encouraging and reflective listening are the te
5、chniques which allow the listener to give the speaker their full attention until the speaker is able to communicate the real message.,3. Reflecting,Active listening skills,Attending skills 参与,1. Focus on the speaker In attending listening, listeners focus on the speaker by giving their physical atte
6、ntion to the other person. They use their whole body to provide feedback that assures the speaker of their total attention. Eye-contact Posture Body movements,Communication ( especially negotiation) is not only a communication through words, but with the help of body language. Watch others eyes, han
7、ds, and body. What might be going on that is not being spoken?,“ 人的眼睛和舌头所说的话一样多,不需要词典,却能够从眼睛的语言中了解整个世界,这是它的好处。” -拉尔夫沃尔多爱默生 (1)Eye contact Use supportive eye contact Focus eyes on the speaker without being intimidating(吓人的) Avoid staring directly at the speaker for long periods as the speaker may fee
8、l uncomfortable .,1. 根据目光凝视讲话者时间的长短来判断听者的心理感受 30%-60%,2.眨眼频率有不同含义 * to wink your eyes 5-8 times Wink your eyes 1 second,The person who avoids eye contact shows that he or she is tend to be self-disguised.,广东有一句谚语 :当一个人笑的时候腹部不动就要提防他了。 伯明翰大学 :“要留心椭圆型的笑容。”,(2) Posture Use open posture (not folded arms
9、or crossed legs ) to attend the other person. lean slightly forward towards the speaker in a relaxed way face the person squarely Maintain an open position with arms and legs uncrossed.,arms folded a sign of boredom or disapproval in the U.S. In Finland it is a sign of arrogance. (3) body movement (
10、4) personal space (5) environment,Pause A pause or silence allows the speaker time to consider, reflect and decide whether to continue the conversation. As a listener, use this time to attend and watch the body movement of the speaker. This can give the listener clues to the total message, both the
11、content and the feelings in the conversation.,Encouraging skills 鼓励,Encouraging listening indicates that the listener is willing to do more than listen. Encouraging listening invites the speaker to say more and to disclose their thoughts and feelings.,How to encourage?,1. provide feedbacks 2. ask op
12、en questions,topic : 最近我和丈夫闹别扭了 主妇():最近我和丈夫闹别扭了 主妇(): 主妇(): 主妇(): 主妇(): 主妇(): 主妇(): 主妇():,主妇():最近我和丈夫闹别扭了。 主妇():是吗? 主妇():我总觉得有点奇怪。 主妇():很担心吧? 主妇():也许是因为他太忙了吧,但是他一句话也不说,我一和他说话,他就心不在焉的。 主妇():是很奇怪啊! 主妇():也许是有第三者了吧 主妇():你这样觉得吗? 主妇():未必不会这样。 主妇():真的啊? 主妇():最近他经常在外面过夜,可是也不和我解释。 主妇():这的确令人担心啊。,例一(不问及隐私的例子)
13、 主妇:最近我和丈夫闹别扭了。 主妇:这种事情嘛家家都会有的。 主妇:也许是吧! 主妇:当然是的。婚后五年,哪家都一样。 主妇:你们家也是吗? 主妇:是啊。 主妇:那我就放心了。 主妇:别太放在心上了。 主妇:太好了,这下我可以放心一点了。 主妇:那我们不如到百货公司去购物吧? 一起去吧? 主妇:好的,走吧。 谈话就这样回到日常的话题上适可而止了。具体说到底和丈夫为什么吵,怎么吵,互相并没有问。这样的谈话是令人心情轻松和愉快的。,Reflective skills,Reflective listening,Reflective listening restates or mirrors to
14、the speaker both the feeling and the content in the message. It shows the other person the listener has heard the understands the intended message exactly.,Paraphrasing,Paraphrasing focuses on the content rather than the feelings. Paraphrasing restates the essential part of the message concisely in
15、the listeners own words. A listener using paraphrasing skills effectively will avoid repeating the other persons statements word for word.,Therefore, active listening pays attention to the speakers content and emotion. It mirrors the content and feelings and also communicate to the other person that
16、 the listener understands the problem from their point of view.,reflective statements (反映陈述/评价性陈述) clarifying statements ( 阐明陈述/求证式陈述),Choose the right one for the following sentences. A. attending B. encouraging c. reflective questions D. clarifying questions E. to show empathy. Id like to hear how
17、 you feel. Youd like to talk further? You really dislike some I think you are saying. Sounds as if youre really I feel a bit confused, could u repeat that? I see. It really means that. Its really nice Perhaps youd like to tell me? I hear you/ I see / oh,Active listening builds empathy with the other
18、 person and creates positive interpersonal relationships. It is a technique that lets the speaker either confirm or correct the feedback from the listener. Active listening also helps the other person reach their own decisions and form their own insights.,Informative listening,This is the most commo
19、n type of listening in most occupations. We use informative listening to understand a wide variety of messages accurately.,Activity,Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not _myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not_ the way you did You fell so
20、hard Ive learned the hard way so never let it get that far,Because of you I never stray too far from the _. Because of you I learned to play on the _ side so I dontget hurt Because of you I find it hard to _ not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid,I _ my way ,And it s not too
21、long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know thats _in your eyes I m forced to _ a smile, a _ everyday of my life My heart cant possibly break When it wasnt even _ to start with,Because of you I never stray too far from the _ Because of you I learned to play on the _side so I dont get hu
22、rt Because of you I find it hard to _not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid,I watched you _ I heard you _ every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to _on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your _ And now I cry in the middle of t
23、he night for the same damn thing,Because of you I never stray too far from the _ Because of you learned to play on the_ side so I don t get hurt Because of you I try my _ just to forget everything Because of you I don t know how to let anyone else in,Because of you I m _ of my life because it s empt
24、y Because of you I am afraid Because of you Because of you,Evaluative listening,Evaluative listening is a useful approach when the sender is trying to influence the listener to change an attitude or take some action they would not normally take. Some appropriate contexts for evaluative listening are
25、 buying a car, a holiday package or a home.,When faced with a speaker who is trying to persuade you, the proper attitude is one of evaluation. What are the speakers motives? How accurate are the speakers facts. Do you need what the speaker is trying to “sell”,Listening types,People-oriented,People-o
26、riented listeners are most concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships. In another word, they are relationship-oriented. They are sensitive to others moods, and they respond to speakers feelings as well as their ideas. People-oriented listeners usually are nonjudgmental about what
27、 others have to say: they are more interested in understanding and supporting people than in evaluating them.,Along with the obvious strengths of a people-oriented style, a strong concern for relationships has some drawbacks. It is easy to become over involved with others feelings, and even to inter
28、nalize and adopt them.,People-oriented listeners may lose their ability to assess the quality of information others are giving in an effort to be congenial and supportive. They also risk being perceived as overly expressive and even intrusive (侵入) by speakers who dont want to connect on a personal l
29、evel.,Action-oriented,Unlike people-oriented listeners who focus on relationships, action-oriented listeners are most concerned with the task at hand. Their main goal is to understand the facts and ideas that are being communicated. They want to get to the heart of the matter quickly, and so they ap
30、preciate clear, concise messages and often translate others remarks into well-organized mental outlines.,Action-oriented listeners are most welcome when taking care of business is the primary concern: they help others focus on the task at hand and encourage them to be organized and concise. Their no
31、-nonsense approach may not be welcomed by speakers who dont have the skill or inclination to be clear and direct. They appear to minimize emotional issues and concerns, which may be an important part business and personal transactions.,Content-oriented,Content-oriented listeners are evaluators. They
32、 want to hear details and analyze an issue from a variety of perspectives. They prefer to listen to experts and other credible sources of information. Content-oriented listeners often enjoy ideas for their own sake and are willing to spend time exploring them in through exchanges of ideas.,Content-o
33、riented listeners can be a big help when the goal is to assess the quality of ideas, and when there is value in looking at issues from a wide range of perspectives.,They are especially valuable when the issues at hand are complicated. On the other hand, their detail-oriented approach may annoy other
34、s who dont share their analytical orientation. Their thorough approach can take more time than others may be willing to give and their frequent challenging can be perceived as overly critical, or even hostile.,Time-oriented,Time-oriented listeners are most concerned with efficiency. They view time a
35、s a scare and valuable commodity and get impatient with people whom they view as wasting it. In a fast-paced business environment, time-oriented listeners can help keep things functioning efficiently.,On the other hand, their displays of impatience can sometimes put a strain on relationships. Also,
36、an excessive focus on time can hamper(妨碍) the kind of thoughtful deliberation that some jobs require.,How to listen more effectively,1. Talk less Sometimes the best approach to listening is to stay out of the way and encourage the other person to talk. silence has so many different selling applications. If you stop talking and starting listening, you might actually learn something, and even if you dont will have a chance to collect your thoughts. A combination of silence and prompts invites the speker to keep going: “ U
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