搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎

1、.Heart brokenBilling ：XiMenchuixueYeGuchengHuaManlouKingPanJinlianNarratage/soldierN：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you

2、 !X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. Whats your name?Y: Ha ha , I wontchange my name, no matter whathappens. I mthe most famous-YeGucheng. Who are you?X: I am XiMenchuixue. Y:Ah? XiMenchuixue?X: Yes, whats wrong?Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.X: Great, you know me !Y: But your wife

3、is my first lover.X: What?Y 抱腿 : Oh, Please, please Donkilltme! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y: I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me!X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know? Y 突然站起冷冷的说： Don't force me!X: 拔刀

4、砍向 Y(Y 拿出一袋牛奶迎上去 )X 抢过牛奶 : Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: Just drink it!X 喝完牛奶 : Thanks, ha ha.Y: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒 +冷酷 ):Very nice! I hope you wontforget what you said!? X:I msure I wont!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don't

5、beat you this time, you neverll behaveproperly!3-2-1-0!X 捂着肚子，蹲下： Oach, Oach !;.Y 大笑： HaHaX 可怜状 : Help!Help! Where is the washroom?Y: What ?X: Toliet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see. go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a highbuilding! You can tmiss it.X: Thanks, bye bye.X 与

6、J相遇X 跑过来 J 举牌： Ladies roomJ: You saw me!? You animal, monster, bullshit! (一边拉拉锁一边说 )I kill you!X: Oh, No! I am sorry honey, but you are so beautiful! Whats your name?J: My first name is Jinlian, and my family name is Pan.X: Oh, PanJinlian!? So nice name. I love you. You have the most beautifulface,

7、nose and little lips. Would you like to marry me?J: Yes, Id like to. But do you get married?X: Of course, ah not! What about you?J: Umneither am I. But do you have a ring to give me？X: I will get one for you.J: I love you. I will be right here waiting for you.N: Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring.

8、Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time.Y: You see? It is really terrible for a person not being good at English. Y 掏出纸屑吹 :This is XiMenchuixue now!H: Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: HuaManlou! Have you seen XiMenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by

9、me and is in“WC” now,ha H 惊讶 : So, now, you are the best in the world!Y: Clever girl.H: You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join us?Y: Yes, my pleasure.H: Ok, follow me. Let sgo to see my king!Y: Ok, Let s go!My first lover in dreams.H: What?Y: Nothing.H:My dear king ! Let me introdu

10、ce YeGucheng to you! （指 Y ）This is YeGucheng.K: Sit down please, YeGucheng.;.H 走到 Y 前，婚礼进行曲起，H: YeGucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , rainstorm or Aids?Y: Yes, I do.K: Gucheng , come closely. 给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停） X 唱着上 : Only you(看到戒指 ) this ring will be mi

11、ne!K: But who are you? Why should it belong to you?Y 急切 : King! Dear king! I must go now, my mother asks me to go back home tohave dinner.X: I am XiMenchuixue. YeGucheng, come here! Give me the ring!Y: Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去 )X 转身准备离开K: Arrest him!X: I will kill anyone who is in my way, no matter he i

12、s a human being or aBuddha.S: I am the most handsome soldier in the world. My favorite is looking myself in the mirror. I am here. I am here! I am here! You cantgo, boy!?X 拔刀捅个不停， S 动作配合但不死X 擦汗： I am too tired to kill you, but I will cut down your head.S: Oh, God! Where is my head? Without a head, I

13、 will be very, very ugly. World without being handsome, I would rather die. AhK: Ah, XiMenchuixue is really rude. You see? The handsome soldiers brain was broken into pieces. Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.N: Then, XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover w

14、ith the ring. But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixue s wife. So what will happen next?H: My dear husband, where are you going?X: Something important! Don tfollow me.H: But the ring should be mine. (X 找到了金莲 , but H 也跟来了 .)H: Oh, shit(捂眼 ). What are you doing? You little bitch, I will kill you. Nine Y

15、inbones claw?J: HaHaHa! My son is Li Gang, I fear nothing( 自信 ).Who the hell are you?H: I m his wife !?!J: You have a wife? You cheated me!X: But you have a son, named Li Gang. My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影 )J: My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场 )H:（大喊） My heart is broken into pieces!(冲背影 )Fuck your sis

16、ters.N：At the same time, Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.Y: 转身准备离开K: Gucheng!? Are you going to abandon me?;.Y: I will!K: Why ?Y:Because Im not a gay. Once, there was a sincere love available for me , but Ididntcherish. Now I regret to die! If the god would give me another chance, I would have said to that girl “I love you”.If there must be a limit for it , I hope it was one night. But now ,my heart is broken(退场 )K: