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1、Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They AvoidFor all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous articles talk about critical characteristics of mental strengthtenaci
2、ty, “grit,”optimism, and an unfailing ability as Forbes contributor David Williams says, to “fail up.”However, we can also define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals dont do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and
3、 licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough Id also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You dont see mentally strong people feel
4、ing sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way theyve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-
5、awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply,“Next!”2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in cont
6、rol of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stag
7、nant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.4. Waste Energy on Things They Cant Control. Mentally strong people dont complain (much about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of
8、these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their
9、way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and
10、will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benef
11、its thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiencesbut a mentally strong person is able to av
12、oid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the“glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? Its when we take the same acti
13、ons again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than weve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of
14、 the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.9. Resent Other Peoples Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other peoples success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They dont become jealous or resentful when others s
15、ucceed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well. They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their ea
16、rly efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to theirultimate goals.11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time th
17、ey spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they dontdepend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in thecurrent econ
18、omy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every
19、stage of the game.13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether its a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate ea
20、ch milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of thes
21、e areas today. How about you?The One Essential Ingredient To Meaningful SuccessMany of the headlines in 2013 promised to solve all our problems with “5 amazing tips or in 7 to 10 easy steps.” Im a basic guy, so I appreciate when someone takes the time to research, evaluate, and extract meaningful el
22、ements from complex sources. I began wondering, could we narrow the tips and steps down even further to one core element?The purpose of this column is to help individuals from all walks of life to achieve success at work. In my 30+ years as a participant in the “game of work,” there is one common de
23、nominator that is alwayspresent and several others that come in a close second.I asked a few of my associates at Fishbowl to chime in, too, and we have worked as a team to discover the one central ingredient that we believe is, above all else, most important for achieving overall success at work.Is
24、it an honest, steadfast work ethic? Showing up and working hard are important. Being efficient and effective also ranked high in the headlines this year. Our team expressed that it is important to forgive when co-workers “Fail Up” with the central theme of mybook, The 7 Non-Negotiables of Winning, p
25、ublished by Wiley this year that chronicles the history of our company and some of my personal challenges.Is it possessing an extraordinary skill set? It doesnt hurt tohone your skills and identify new skills you may wish to obtain.Is it charisma and personality? Steve Jobs stated that, “Its not abo
26、ut charisma and personality, its about results and products and those very bedrock things that are why people at Apple and outside of Apple are getting more excited about the company and what Apple stands for and what its potential is to contribute to the industry.”Could it be luck? We tend to agree
27、 with Lucius Annaeus Seneca who said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”Could it be they believed wholeheartedly in what they are doing?So what is that one thing that certain individuals possess that helps them achieve extraordinary things in life? The items listed above cert
28、ainly come into play. Yet the one ingredient that we believe is essential for lasting success is perhaps the simplest and most often overlooked. It is the individual who can remain “of good cheer” regardless of how hard the winds of circumstance blow. This is not the same as wearing rose-colored gla
29、sses or taking a Zen “everything happens for a purpose ” approach. An individual of authentic good cheer is realistic and probably has an equal measure of good and not-so-good days. People “of good cheer” actually become stronger in their optimism and their ability to look for bright spots even when
30、 the tempests of life are raging. It is a simple choice. The best example of an enduring leader who exemplified these traits is Abraham Lincoln. He suffered enormous trials. He lost a son, suffered from depression, fought a war yet still he remained a gentle man of good cheer who instilled hope when
31、ever he could. One of his most famous quotes, “Whatever you are, be a good one, ” reveals a great deal about the character of this extraordinary leader. I also believe that Steve Jobs exemplified “good cheer” in his final days. I dont recall ever hearing of him complaining about his burdens or how u
32、nfair the turn of events that determined he would leave this world early. Much has been written about his early days, his passion and temper. We can all be grateful for what we learned from Jobs. I can be all-out, extreme, and passionate about our company, the people, and what we sell and do, but I have learned to soften my pace and realize that I don t have to create a massive fire over everything. I can take a breath, be of good cheer, be patient, and just try to create lasting success. So there you have it. Our No. 1 ingredient for achieving success is quite simple. Why is
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