爆笑“中式英语”集合-每日英语

1、爆笑“中式英语”最全集合 2009年03月10日 16:58   新浪教育    在国内，上英语课时班长喊“起立”Stand up，然后同学们向老师问好。英语国家的人这时候会说All rise而不说Stand up ，这就是所谓的Chinglish即中式英语。用中国人的方式说英语。新浪外语频道联合汉普森英语，改变Chinglish征文共征集了40余部优秀作品，下面为本次参赛部分征文。专家点评“中式英语”优秀作品：1. I very like it2. 这个价格对我挺合适的。the price is very suitable for me。3.

2、 你是做什么工作的呢？Whats your job？4. 用英语怎么说？How to say？5. 明天我有事情要做。I have something to do tomorrow？6. 我没有英文名。I havent English name。7. 我想我不行。I think I cant。8. 我的舞也跳得不好。I dont dance well too。9. 现在几点钟了？What time is it now？10. 我的英语很糟糕。My English is poor。11. 你愿意参加我们的晚会吗？Would you like to join our party on Friday

3、？12. 我没有经验。I have no experience。13. 我没有男朋友。I have no boyfriend。14. 他的身体很健康。His body is healthy。15. 价钱很昂贵/便宜。The price is too expensive/cheap。16. 我们下了车。We got off the car。17. 车速快了。The speed of the car is fast。18. 这个春节你回家吗？Will you be going back home for the Spring Festival？19. 我觉得右手很疼。I feel very pai

4、nful in my right hand。20. 他看到她很惊讶。He looked at her and felt surprised。21. 我读过你的小说但是没料到你这么年轻。I have read your novels but I didnt think you could be so young。22. 她脸红了，让我看穿了她的心思。Her red face made me see through her mind。23. 看到这幅画让我想到了我的童年时代。The sight of these pictures made me remember my own

5、childhood。24. 别理她。Dont pay attention to her。25. 我在大学里学到了许多知识。I get a lot of knowledge in the university。26. 黄山正在读书。Samuel is reading a book。27。永远记住你 remember you forever28. 我遇到了很多困难。I am having many difficulties。29. 请快点走，否则我们会迟到的。Please hurry to walk or well be late。30. 她由嫉妒转向失望。She was so jealous t

6、hat she became desperate。31. people moutain people sea 人山人海32. good good study,day day up 好好学习，天天向上33. no thank you不用谢34.Moon under old man 月下老人35.I will give you some color to see see. 我要给你点颜色看看36.Open the door see mountain开门见山37.Five flowers eight doors五花八门38.To take notice of safe 小心路滑39.Small tw

7、o pots of heads 二锅头40.we two who and who!咱俩谁跟谁啊！41.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你？怎么老是你？42.you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers!together up!你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们！一起上！43.as far as you go to die！有多远死多远！44.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothin

8、g to say,go home!有事起奏，无事退朝 ！45.you me you me彼此彼此46.You Give Me Stop!你给我站住！47.know is know，noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知48.WATCH SISTER 表妹49.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！50.I give you face you don't wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face

9、  给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸51.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述52.heart flower angry open心花怒放53.go past no mistake past  走过路过，不要错过54.小明：I am sorry!老外：I am sorry too!小明：I am sorry three!老外：What are you sorry for?小明：I am sorry five!55.If you want money,I have no;if you want li

10、fe,I have one!要钱没有，要命一条56.I call Li old big. toyear 25。我叫李老大，今年25。57.you have two down son 你有两下子。58.good good study,day day up! 好好学习，天天向上：59.Open the door see mountain开门见山60.five flowers eight doors五花八门61.Un-ding-able顶不住了62.You go see see你去看看63.so many people die, no see you die。甘多人死吾见你死64.die away&

11、#160;  死开65.Oil gate加油站66.To run business营业中67.Small two pots of heads二锅头68.Disabled Elevators残疾人电梯69. With a comet like him, nothing can be accomplished有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。70.Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage萝卜青菜，各有所爱71.He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault。他一向嘴硬，从不认错7

12、2.The teacher likes this sweet-mouthed little girl very much老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。73.The student all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。74.Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel saisfied with what

13、they've already got。人都是这山望着那山高，对自己的现状没有满意的时候。75.fight south and north转战南北76.The professor teaches badly这个教授教得很烂。77.Beijing's winning the bid for the Olympics makes our blood boil北京申奥成功的消息令我们热血沸腾。78.Don't listen to their babbling别听他们胡说八道79.she is the pearl on her father's hand at home

14、。在家里她可是父亲的掌上明珠。80.lazy worm  懒虫81.So it is原来如此82.Doingshi imitates Xishi  东施效颦83.a night cat夜猫子84.Chicken Without Sexual Life童子鸡85.Twicecooked Pork回锅肉86.pen see you鄙视你87.four happy dumplines四喜丸子二。standing tickets 站票vice-professor；副教授early love；早恋Don't fall down；当心滑跌I'll go to visit

15、 my uncle and say "Happy New Year" to him today。May you become wealthy. 恭喜发财It's hard to do business in light seasons. 淡季生意不好做。Be careful of landslide  小心地滑Deformed men lavatory 残疾人厕位Please obey the orders of the missionary 服从站台工作人员安排Baby& Mother soldiers waiting lounge 母婴军人候车

16、室Small scaled parking lot 小型停车场Come in is forbiden;in case of penalty 请勿入内；违者罚款；Don't span 请勿跨越Take care of the gap 小心站台间隙Visitors Declined  观众止步Meet carefully 小心碰头Mind your steps  小心台阶Breakdown service  维修三。有意思的中式英语：If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!要钱没有，要命

17、一条seven up eight down  七上八下no three no four不三不四  Very thanks!十分感谢！ØShe is very sex。她很性感。Go home。回家。It's a long time。很久的事拉。Guanxi: 关系Jiaozi: 饺子四。To take notice of safe: The slippery are very crafty. = Be careful, slippery slopes. (小心路滑。)To put out Xuanda Expressway(北京四环路). To put i

18、n Jingzhang Expressway。(京张高速公路) = Now leaving Xuanda Expressway, now entering Jingzhang Expressway。Decimbing path. = Descent. (下坡路。)Rain or snow day. Bridge, slow-driving。(河北省所有高速公路) = Slow on bridge in case of rain or snow。Oil gate. / Into. = Filling station。(加油站。)/ Entrance。(进口。)Smoking is prohibi

19、ted if you will be fined 50 yuan。(字面意义：如果你被罚50元的话吸烟不被允许。) = Smoking is prohibited, penalties for violators is 50 yuan。(不可吸烟，违反者将被罚款50元。)Please come down from your bicycle. = Please dismount from your bicycle。If you have trouble ask for the policeman. 或 If in trouble find police = In case of trouble,

20、 dial the police。Being urgent call 110 quickly. (北京) = In cases of emergency, please call 110. (110 = 中国大陆报案电话，等同香港的999)Complaining tel。(字面意义：抱怨电话) = Customer service telephone(客户服务电话)。When you leave car, please turn off door and window, take your valuable object = Be sure to lock your doors and win

21、dows and take all valuables with you。Engine room is serious place。(字面意义：机房是严肃的地方) = Engine room: No unauthorised access. (机房重地；重地的意思其实就是闲人免进，只是中文通常都省略了。)Don't forget to take your thing. = Don't forget your personal belongings。Visit in civilisation, pay attention to hygiene! = Attention to vi

22、sitors: Be civilised and keep the public places hygiene。Deformed man toilet。(字面意义：变形的人厕所) = Public toilet for the disabled(残疾人厕所)。Carefully meet (字面意义：小心翼翼的见面) = Watch your head (小心碰头注意不要撞到头)Crippled restroom. = Public toilet for the disabled(残疾人厕所)。When you across hard you can ring TEL (号码). = In c

23、ase of emergency, please call (号码)。Danger! Inhibition astraddle transgress. = Danger! No entry。(危险！不准进入)X Bank Shaoguan Cent Company = X Bank Shaoguan Branch。(某银行韶关分公司)    We can't stand the sight of mattress fragrant grass = Don't step on the grassFragrant fragile walnut meat

24、 biscuits = type of walnut cookie, 由达利集团制造Burnt meat biscuit = 一种肉味饼干Please Drive Correctly(字面意义：请正确驾驶) = 提醒人们按规则驾驶的标牌New Shipu Hotel(字面意义：新Shipu酒店) = 并不是旅馆(Hotel)，而是一家餐厅(restaurant)Welcome to our fine restaurant(字面意义：欢迎来到我们的餐厅) = 一家旅馆中的标牌No gambling promote leagal entertainment = anti-gambling prop

25、aganda poster by the Beijing police。Convenient(方便面) = instant noodles, BeijingHaw a thick soup = Hawthorn(一间承德公司制造)Small two pots of heads = 二锅头(erguotou)一款地道菜式出现在北京Oriental Plaza 餐单上China smoke wine & A Smoke a Wine = Cigarette and wine shops, BeijingJapanesque Milk Cracker = Japanese被错误串为Japan

26、esque。The luxuring nothing rail remote controlling stretches out and draws back the door = Label found on an electronic retractable security gate in Beijing。Shopping's center = Shopping centre entrance in Beijing。Do not be occupying while stabilizing = Do not use the toilet while the train is st

27、opping at a station. (火车上的厕所)Deep fried ghost variant, deep fried devil and oil fried ghost = 油炸鬼 = 油条。Disabled Elevators(残障电梯，字面意义：坏掉的电梯)(桃园国际机场)= Elevator for handicapped people,Speaking cellphone strictly prohibited when thunderstorm(北京) = talking on cellphones disallowed during thunderstormsFuck

28、 food(中国大陆某超市)= 干货干货，正确用法应为“Dehydrate Food”或“Dry Foods”。注：“干”货原为繁体字之“干”，被中国大陆简化成“干”，而“干”这字又同时代表“干”、“干”二字，而“干”字又有性交之意。Bake the cell-phone(台南火车站厕所)=烘手机，正确英文Hand dryer下面是一些CHINGLISH犯的笑话：1,讲一个我老公的笑话：去年过情人节，我让他买点牛排回来。出门前怕他忘记了，就给写了一张纸条。吃饭的时候他说他去LOBLAW买牛排的时候，给店员说来两块T-BACK牛排，店员愣住，他以为店员没有听清楚，又重复了一遍，T-BACK ST

29、EAK PLEASE！店员这次听到了，顿时石化！我老公见店员愣在那里，连忙把我写的纸条递过去，那小伙子一看，上书：T-BONE STEAK！这回轮到我老公石化，尴尬不已了2。刚来的时候有一次跟一个兄弟去吃饭，那大哥吃饱以后指着满桌子剩下的碟子一边画圈一边问服务生how much,all this,how much? 服务生五官扭曲的看着他，我最后实在忍不住了，告诉服务生说他想买单，结果服务生走以后他还不爽，说人服务生就快明白了我打什么岔。3。第一次打电话叫TAXI对方问where you from，我回答CHINA,还在奇怪叫taxi还分国籍?对方可能以为我在搞 笑，很郁闷的说 sorry,

30、we can not do that，我一听，火大。怎么有种族歧视啊。就问：why？对方楞了半天，挂了。4。说一个听来的笑话刚到US的朋友，到了纽约，想去看自由女神，但是不知道路。于是乎在路边抓了一个白老-Hi, do you know where is the free woman?白老愣了半天，支支吾吾-I. dont know.Tell me when you know it。5。来去ESL,跟老师请假后去JOB FAIR。回来老师在班上问如何？我想说太多老外. 答了： TOO MANY FORIENGERS!老师说： YOU ARE THE FORIENGER IN CANADA。6。

31、在homestay住，然后想洗澡，跟房东说了后，房东说“ go ahead” 我当时寻思“去个头”的意思是能去 还是不能去啊 hahahah! 29。有次买车票，工作人员问我 one way ? 我回答：No,two way。他又问了我几遍，我的答案还是一样的。结果那人很郁闷的看着我 后来才反应过来自己还在中文的思维中 我把他的意思解释为One way等于一位？我们是两个人，所以two way等于两位。7。突然想起还有一个朋友在语言学校时的东北一小哥的笑话，不过那男孩是好心。那天那小哥下课快到家了，结果看到两辆车撞了，他就出于好心报警了，“Hi， My name is XXX, a car f

32、ucked a car, I see red water ,plz cal Wuliwuli come”解释一下，a car fucked a car 就是car crash, red water他是想说blood,wuliwuli是ambulance,因为ambulance的声音是这个。其实他是想说：there's a car crash here, someone injured plz call ambulance come over. 最搞得是，police竟然听明白了，警车和ambulance马上就到了。牛啊！8。想起来一个 是一同学第一次去吃McDonald结果进去后一紧张，大声说了句：I want to this han baobao，边说边指对方一时不知所措，我那同学又重复了n遍。8。我想起来我一同学第一次来英国正好遇上入关检查特严，她妈妈让她给这边的一个朋友带了个金华火腿结果被狗狗闻出来了就被领取office了然后officer就要她解释用报纸包起来的东西是什么我那同学说leg然后那officer一脸被吓到的表情，问了句"Pardon" .。然后我那朋友很大声重复说leg！她说我当时想那officer怎么连火腿都不懂，还特地在腿上比划了半天leg啊leg就是leg啊9