personal statement 留学文书写作培训教材

1、Writtingg Yoour Esssay/Perrsonnal Staatemmentt foor CColllegeeby DDr. Marrilyyn WWinkklebby, Fouundeer, SMYYSP原文地址址：htttp:/u/scchoool/ssmyssp/nnojaava/preeparre/wwrittingg.httml 本文为为斯坦福福大学SSMYSSP项目目对如何何写作EEssaay的建建议，具具体详细细阐述了了应该注注意的方方方面面面的问题题Whatt iss thhe ppurpposee off yoour col

2、llegge eessaay? 目的：突出特特色Manyy coolleegess wiill reqquesst tthatt yoou wwritte aan eessaay oor pperssonaal sstattemeent to acccomppanyy yoour apppliccatiion. Yoour esssay is verry iimpoortaant beccausse iit aalloows youu ann oppporrtunnityy too bee yooursselff annd tto llet thee coolleegess knnow who

3、o yoou aare as an inddiviiduaal. Thiink aboout youur llifee exxperrienncess annd wwhatt haas sshapped youu innto thee peersoon yyou aree toodayy. TTelll abboutt asspeccts of youur bbackkgrooundd annd pperssonaal aattrribuutess thhat mayy noot bbe aappaarennt ffromm yoour acaademmic reccordd. SSincce

4、 aacaddemiic rrecoordss annd ttestt sccorees oof aappllicaantss arre oofteen vveryy siimillar, yoour esssay alllowss thhe ccolllegee too gaain inssighht iintoo yoour uniiquee acchieevemmentts, chaaraccterr, aand bacckgrrounnd. Thiis aalloows thee coolleege to evaaluaate whaat ttheyy caan ooffeer yyo

5、u aloong witth wwhatt yoou ccan conntriibutte tto ttheiir aacaddemiic eenviironnmennt. Colllegees mmay askk foor aa geenerral esssay or givve yyou speeciffic queestiionss too annsweer. Thee suuggeestiionss beeloww appplyy too eiitheer. Who reaads youur eessaay? 阅读者者：专业业人员或或者教职职员工Eachh coolleege hass

6、 a teaam oof ttraiinedd reeadeers, seeverral of whoom wwilll ussuallly reaad aand scoore youur eessaay iindeepenndenntlyy. RReadderss arre oofteen pproffesssionnal staaff froom tthe colllegge, butt maay aalsoo inncluude faccultty mmembberss, hhighh scchoool tteaccherrs, andd coounsseloors. Thhesee r

7、eeadeers aree noot ttesttingg yoou oon wwrittingg abbiliity or Engglissh sskillls. Thhey simmplyy waant to leaarn morre aabouut yyou on a pperssonaal lleveel. Howweveer, a wwelll-wrrittten esssay willl iimprresss thhe rreadder so invvestt tiime in ediitinng, andd chheckkingg yoour graammaar aand spe

8、elliing. Whatt maakess a goood eessaay? 好文章章什么样样？体现现你的生生活经历历，兴趣趣，个性性等。A goood esssay willl mmakee yoou ddisttincct ffromm thhe mmanyy ottherr apppliicannts. Reeadeers loook ffor a ccoheesivve eessaay tthatt reefleectss yoour liffe eexpeerieencees, inttelllecttuall cuurioositty aand achhievvemeentss,

9、 pperssonaal ccharractteriistiics (peerseeverrancce, mottivaatioon, leaaderrshiip), seerviice to othherss, aand commmittmennt tto hhighher eduucattionn. YYou mayy deescrribee haardsshipps yyou oveercaame, evventts tthatt haad aa siigniificcantt immpacct oon yyourr liife, peeoplle wwho insspirred you

10、u, oor yyourr knnowlledgge oof ccerttainn cuultuurall orr etthniic ggrouups. Soomettimees aa veery commmonn exxperriennce is infflueentiial andd meemorrablle. Forr exxampple, onne sstuddentt wrrotee abboutt hiis iinteelliigennt ppareentss whho wweree trrappped in unffulffilllingg joobs duee too thhe

11、irr laack of forrmall edducaatioon. Thee sttudeent wass innspiiredd byy hiis ppareentss?exxperriennce, exxcellledd inn scchoool, andd thhus beccamee thhe ffirsst iin hhis fammilyy too appplyy too coolleege. Yourr esssayy shhoulld sshoww thhe ddeptth oof yyourr innterrestts aand acccompplisshmeentss,

12、 aand quaalitty oof yyourr chharaacteer. No mattterr whhat expperiiencces youu chhoosse tto wwritte aabouut, youu shhoulld eelabboraate on thee innsigghtss thhat youu gaaineed ffromm thhe eexpeerieencees aand on thee waays thee exxperrienncess innfluuencced youur llifee. RReadderss waant to leaarn h

13、oww exxperrienncess chhangged youur aattiituddes or bellieffs, infflueenceed yyourr accadeemiccs oor eextrracuurriicullar acttiviitiees, or claariffiedd yoour eduucattionnal goaals. Beloow aare somme ggeneerall suuggeestiionss ass weell as speeciffic sugggesstioons thaat mmay hellp yyou wriite an es

14、ssay thaat mmakees yyou staand outt ass a greeat apppliccantt. Geneerall suuggeestiionss: 1. CChecck tthe rulles. 阅读读写作要要求，最最常见的的错误是是忽略了了要求和和格式。Readd thhe iinsttrucctioons forr thhe eessaay iin tthe colllegge aappllicaatioon ppackket. Onne oof tthe mosst ccommmon misstakkes is to misss rrequuireemen

15、nts aboout thee leengtth oor fformmatttingg off thhe eessaay. Remmembber, allmosst aall colllegges wannt yyou to sennd yyourr esssayy wiith youur ccomppletted apppliccatiion forrm. 2. SStarrt eearlly aand revvisee offtenn. 早早动手，多多修改。Starrt yyourr esssayy eaarlyy, aat lleasst oone or twoo moonthhs bb

16、efoore it is duee. IIf pposssiblle, usee a commputter or worrd pproccesssor so revvisiionss arre eeasyy. YYourr fiirstt drraftt wiill be revviseed mmanyy tiimess soo doontt feeel connstrrainned. Innsteead, itt shhoulld bbe aa sttarttingg poointt foor yyou to beggin telllinng yyourr sttoryy. You mayy

17、 waant to beggin by wriitinng ddownn maany thooughhts andd thhen sellecttingg thhe mmostt immporrtannt. Or, yoou mmay preeferr too maake an outtlinne aand exppandd itt acccorrdinng tto tthe lenngthh reequiiremmentts. Be preeparred to wriite at leaast 10 draaftss annd tto hhavee seeverral peooplee re

18、ead draaftss att diiffeerennt sstagges in youur wwrittingg. TThesse ppeopple shoouldd knnow youu onn a perrsonnal levvel. Oncee yoou hhavee reead andd reevissed youur eessaay sseveerall tiimess, pput it awaay ffor a wweekk orr soo. (If youu sttartted earrly, yoou sshouuldnnt be tooo cllosee too thhe

19、 ddeaddlinne yyet!) AAfteer tthe resst pperiiod, thhinkk aggainn abboutt whhat youu waant thee addmisssioons commmittteee too knnow aboout youu. WWritte tthiss doown, thhen takke oout youur eessaay aand reaad iit aagaiin. Doees iit cconvvey whaat yyou wannt tto ssay? Iff noot, youu maay hhavee too s

20、ttartt alll ooverr aggainn orr cuut oout larrge parrts of youur ffirsst ddrafft. Thiis iis ookayy-wwrittingg reequiiress fllexiibillityy, aand sommetiimess yoou wwilll haave to eliiminnatee thhinggs tthatt yoou llikeed bbecaausee thhey donnt rellatee too yoour oveeralll mmesssagee. 3. BBe ccleaar aa

21、nd foccuseed. 清楚，集集中。应应该是一一个连贯贯的故事事。Yourr esssayy shhoulld bbe ffocuusedd annd ttelll a cohhesiive stoory. Wiith eacch rreviisioon, youur eessaay sshouuld be morre ffocuusedd, hhavee smmootth ttrannsittionnal staatemmentts, andd prreseent a mmoree coohessivee sttoryy. EEverry mmainn thhougght shooul

22、dd bee foolloowedd byy a loggicaal ttrannsittionn thhat connneccts to thee neext maiin tthouughtt. TThe reaaderr off yoour apppliccatiion (whho mmay be sleeepyy orr inn a hurrry) wiill nott sppendd tiime tryyingg too fiigurre oout youur mmainn poointts iif yyourr esssayy iss unncleear. 4. BBe ddistt

23、incctivve. 有特色色的东西西Writte aan eessaay tthatt diistiinguuishhes youu frrom othher apppliccantts. Avooid wriitinng ssenttencces thaat aanottherr apppliicannt ccoulld wwritte. Anyy apppliicannt ccoulld wwritte, I havve aalwaays wanntedd too goo too coolleege to furrtheer mmy eeduccatiion, oor I hhavee

24、allwayys wwantted to be a ddocttor. TThe folllowwingg seenteencee iss moore perrsonnal andd giivess innsigght intto aan aappllicaant抯抯 baackggrouund: II fiirstt beecamme iinteeresstedd inn beecommingg a docctorr whhen Danniell, mmy llitttle brootheer, wass hoospiitallizeed ffor an inffectted fooot a

25、afteer hhe ggot cauughtt onn a barrbedd wiire fennce whiile beiing chaasedd byy a bulll. 5. BBe sspeccifiic. 具体Thiss wiill hellp tthe reaaderr reememmberr yoou. Suppposse yyou aree wrritiing aboout a ppatiientt yoou mmet durringg yoour volluntteerr woork at an innner citty hhosppitaal. Rattherr thha

26、n wriitinng, Onne ppatiientt maade a llasttingg immpreessiion on me, pprovvidee moore dettaills aand wriite, AA yooungg Laatinna wwomaan wwho hadd beeen burrnedd inn a carr accciddentt maade a llasttingg immpreessiion on me andd innfluuencced my futturee caareeer ggoalls. Orr, iif yyou aree wrritiin

27、g aboout a tteaccherr whho wwas insstruumenntall inn enncouuraggingg yoou tto aapplly tto ccolllegee, yyou migght wriite, MMr. Wriightt, mmy hhighh scchoool bbiollogyy teeachher, waas tthe firrst to sugggesst tthatt I migght atttendd coolleege. Avoiid ddetaailss thhat aree suuperrficciall too yoour

28、poiint, suuch as, MMr. Wriightt, mmy hhighh scchoool bbiollogyy teeachher, nooticced my inttensse iinteeresst iin sscieencee duurinng mmy ssophhomoore yeaar aand toook mme aasidde oone aftternnoonn too taalk witth mme. He wass thhe ffirsst tto ssugggestt thhat I mmighht aatteend colllegge aand encco

29、urrageed mme tto ttakee cllassses in bioologgy, cheemisstryy, pphyssicss, aand othher sciiencces. 6. IInclludee poowerrfull exxperrienncess. 独独特的个个人经历历Inclludee peersoonall exxperrienncess thhat willl lleavve tthe reaaderr wiith strrongg immagees, esppeciiallly ooness thhat havve iinflluenncedd yoou

30、r eduucattionn orr caareeer ggoalls. Thee exxperriennce cann bee toold in sevveraal ssenttencces, buut iit sshouuld paiint a llasttingg immagee. TThesse eexpeerieencees mmay be rellateed tto aa haardsshipp yoou hhavee ovverccomee orr ann exxperriennce thaat iinflluenncedd yoour liffe. Stuudennts hav

31、ve wwritttenn abboutt hoow lliviing in fossterr caare, caarinng ffor a ppareent witth aa seerioous illlnesss, or livvingg inn a reffugeee ccampp coontrribuutedd too thheirr innitiiatiive andd chhangged theeir atttituudess abboutt ann isssuee orr grroupp off peeoplle. Othher stuudennts havve wwrittte

32、nn abboutt hoow sseeiing a yyounng tteennageer ddie froom AAIDSS orr ann ellderrly pattiennt llearrn tto sspeaak aafteer hhaviing a sstrooke insspirred theeir commmittmennt tto ppurssuinng aa heealtth ccareeer. 7. BBe eenthhusiiasttic, buut rreassonaablee. 热热情，合合乎情理理。Showw yoour entthussiassm, passs

33、ioon oor ccommmitmmentt abboutt caausees, butt bee reeasoonedd annd llogiicall inn yoour disscusssioons. Yoou mmay feeel sstroonglly aabouut aa huumann riightts oor hheallth carre iissuue, succh aas tthe neeed ffor guaarannteeed hheallth carre ffor alll Ammeriicanns. Disscusss yyourr peersoonall vii

34、ewss, pprovvidee suuppoortiing eviidennce, annd ppropposee hoow yyou wouuld adddresss tthe proobleem, butt doo soo wiithoout prreacchinng. 8. BBe yyourrsellf! 写关于于自己的的东西Mostt immporrtanntlyy, bbe hhoneest andd bee yooursselff! AAdmiissiionss offficcerss waant to accceptt sttudeentss whho wwilll bee

35、suucceessfful at theeir schhooll annd cconttribbutee too itts eenviironnmennt. Theey wwantt too reecruuit stuudennts froom bbackkgrooundds wwho willl ddiveersiify theeir stuudennt bbodyy annd iif yyou souund likke ttheiir ttypee off caandiidatte, theen iit wwilll bee ann addvanntaggeouus ssituuatiio

36、n forr booth youu annd tthe colllegge! 9. RReviiew youur ffinaal vverssionn caareffullly. Whenn yoou hhavee coomplleteed tthe finnal verrsioon oof yyourr esssayy, rreadd itt caareffullly aand askk: Is ttherre aa sttronng iintrroduuctiion thaat ssetss thhe sstagge ffor a mmemoorabble esssay? 当写写完了之之后

37、，应应该看看看是否有有好的开开头Is tthe toppic senntennce of eacch pparaagraaph cleear andd doo thhe rrestt off thhe ssenttencces每每段第一一句是否否清楚tthe parragrraphh suuppoort thee toopicc seenteencee? Are alll off myy thhougghtss coonneecteed iin aa loogiccal fasshioon? 是否有有逻辑Is tthe esssay foccuseed aand cohhesiive? 是否否

38、比较集集中Doess myy unniquue vvoicce ccomee thhrouugh; dooes thee esssayy sooundd liike me? Is tthe graammaar ccorrrectt? Havee I donne aa fiinall sspelll cchecck on a ccompputeer? Havee I re-reaad tthe finnal verrsioon ccareefullly to be surre tthe sppelll chheckk ddidnn抰 subbstiitutte aany inccorrrectt

39、 woordss? AAs aa fiinall chheckk, ggivee yoour esssay to an Engglissh tteaccherr orr soomeoone witth aa baackggrouund in graammaar aand speelliing to makke ssuree thhat youu haavennt madde aany avooidaablee miistaakess. And, bee suure to keeep aa prrintted coppy oof yyourr fiinall veersiion. Speccif

40、iic ssugggesttionns aabouut yyourr esssayy: 具具体建议议Readderss loook forr ceertaain areeas of conntennt tthatt reefleect youur llifee exxperrienncess, iinteelleect, woork andd voolunnteeer eexpeerieencees, exttraccurrricuularr acctivvitiies, annd pperssonaal ccharractteriistiics. Thhe ffolllowiing offf

41、erss yoou mmoree tiips on conntennt aareaas, somme oof wwhicch yyou mayy wrritee abboutt. 1. AAcaddemiic pprepparaatioon aand schholaarlyy exxperrienncess. Inclludee deetaiils aboout siggnifficaant claassees, ressearrch proojeccts, annd eexpeerieencees tthatt haave conntriibutted to youur iinteellee

42、ctuual devveloopmeent. Doo noot ssimpply lisst yyourr cllassses, grradees, andd accadeemicc hoonorrs ssincce tthiss innforrmattionn caan bbe ffounnd eelseewheere in youur aappllicaatioon. Inssteaad, youu miightt deescrribee hoow aa seet oof eexpeerieencees bbuillt uuponn onne aanottherr annd lled to

43、 youur ccurrrentt caareeer iinteeresst. Forr exxampple, yoou mmay havve eexpeerieenceed hhungger as a cchilld aand theen bbeenn innspiiredd byy yoour higgh sschoool sciiencce tteaccherr too coomplletee a sciiencce ffairr prrojeect on chiildhhoodd nuutriitioon. Youu thhen shaaredd yoour finndinngs wi

44、tth cchilldreen iin aan eelemmenttaryy scchoool cclasss bby tteacchinng tthemm thhe iimpoortaancee off eaatinng aa heealtthy dieet. Theese colllecctivve eexpeerieencees ggavee yoou lleaddersshipp exxperriennce andd leed tto yyourr innterrestt inn nuutriitioon aas aa fiieldd off sttudyy. You cann uss

45、e yyourr esssayy too exxplaain anyy accadeemicc chhalllengges youu haave facced andd whhyandd thhus proovidde rreassonss foor aany loww grradees. Youu miightt meentiion howw yoou hhad limmiteed ttimee too foocuss onn scchoool bbecaausee yoou wweree woorkiing to conntriibutte tto yyourr faamillyss in

46、ncomme. Anyy exxampple succh aas tthiss shhoulld eemphhasiize whaat yyou leaarneed ffromm thhe eexpeerieencee annd hhow youu inntennd tto uuse thiis kknowwleddge to hellp yyou succceeed iin ccolllegee. You cann allso usee yoour esssay to expplaiin aany insstanncess whheree yoou hhavee sooughht eeduc

47、catiionaal ooppoortuunittiess. IIf yyourr hiigh schhooll haad aa liimitted nummberr off addvanncedd coolleege preeparratoory claassees bbe ssuree too meentiion thiis. Beccausse oof tthiss, pperhhapss yoou wweree mootivvateed tto ddo iindeepenndennt rreaddingg onn yoour ownn orr taake claassees aat y

48、yourr loocall coommuunitty ccolllegee. TThiss shhowss yoour iniitiaativve aand youur sseriioussnesss aabouut yyourr edducaatioon. 2. LLifee exxperrienncess. 个个人经历历Takee tiime to refflecct oon yyourr liife, iddenttifyyingg soome keyy asspeccts of youur cchilldhoood andd addoleesceencee, aas wwelll as

49、s peersoonall chhalllengges youu maay hhavee ovverccomee. SSomee sttudeentss arre hhesiitannt tto ssharre ttheiir pperssonaal eexpeerieencees, butt thhesee arre eexacctlyy whhat thee addmisssioons commmittteee waantss too seee. Thee reeadeers aree esspecciallly inttereesteed iin yyourr exxperriennce

50、ss beecauuse theey rrefllectt thhe uuniqque asppectts oof yyourr liife. Yoou mmighht bbegiin bby ddesccribbingg obbstaaclees oor bbarrrierrs tthatt yoou eexpeerieenceed tto hhighher eduucattionn annd tthenn deescrribee hoow tthesse ccirccumsstanncess shhapeed yyourr fuuturre ddeciisioons andd sttren

51、ngthheneed yyourr deesirre tto aatteend colllegge. If yyou aree fiirstt inn yoour fammilyy too atttennd ccolllegee, bbe ssuree too meentiion thiis, sinnce youur ppathh too coolleege hass beeen morre cchalllennginng aand diffferrentt frrom a sstuddentt whhosee paarennts aree coolleege eduucatted. Rel

52、aate youur llifee exxperrienncess too yoour acaademmic andd caareeer ggoalls, as youu weeavee yoour expperiiencces toggethher in youur eessaay. Forr exxampple, diid aa faamilly hharddshiip mmakee yoou mmoree reesilliennt oor mmoree seensiitivve tto ootheers or leaad tto yyourr innterrestt inn heealt

53、th? Perrhapps ccariing forr a youung rellatiive whoo haad llungg caanceer mmadee yoou aawarre oof tthe danngerrs oof ssmokkingg annd lled youu too wrritee a sciiencce rrepoort aboout thee prromootioon oof ccigaaretttess too yoouthh. TThiss coontrribuutedd too yoour inttereest in heaalthh caare polli

54、cyy annd sseleectiion of a ccolllegee thhat offferss fiieldd exxperrienncess, ssuchh ass thhosee wiith heaalthh addvoccacyy grroupps. 3. IInteelleectuual curriossityy. You mayy bee abble to remmembber an expperiiencce tthatt reefleectss yoour inttelllecttuall cuurioositty, succh aas oone thaat hhigh

55、hligghtss yoour inttereest in sciiencce aand meddiciine. A simmplee, oordiinarry eexpeerieencee maay pprovvidee ann exxampple. Suuppoose thaat dduriing higgh sschoool youu beecamme ffasccinaatedd byy thhe iintrricaaciees oof tthe humman boddy aand thee innterr-reelattionnshiip oof tthe orgganss annd

56、 ssysttemss off thhe bbodyy. YYou theen ffounnd aa boook in youur sschoool libbrarry tthatt haad ttrannspaarennt ppagees tthatt piictuuredd thhe vvariiouss orrganns aand sysstemms oof tthe boddy. As youu laaid eacch ppagee uppon thee neext, a commpleete humman boddy eemerrgedd. TThiss faasciinatted

57、youu, bbut youu weere conncerrnedd thhat thee miind wass noot rreprreseenteed. Youu reeturrnedd too thhis boook sseveerall tiimess, aalwaays to wonnderr abboutt thhe mmisssingg ellemeentss annd tthe neeed ffor thee meentaal aaspeectss off a perrsonn too bee innteggratted witth tthe phyysiccal asppec

58、tts. Theese conncerrns ledd too yoour inttereest in botth bbasiic aand socciall scciennce claassees dduriing higgh sschoool, annd aan iinteeresst iin aa coolleege thaat ooffeers claassees oon tthe psyychoosocciall asspeccts of heaalthh. 4. CCharractter. Writtingg abboutt yoour perrsonnal bacckgrroun

59、nd ggivees yyou thee chhancce tto ssharre aaspeectss off yoour chaaraccterr thhat havve hhelpped youu thhrouugh diffficcultt liife expperiiencces. Thhe eepissodees yyou disscusss sshouuld illlusttratte pposiitivve aaspeectss off yoour chaaraccterr, ssuchh ass deeterrminnatiion, innitiiatiive, coompa

60、assiion, orr leeadeershhip. Peerhaaps youu suuffeer ffromm a phyysiccal hanndiccap. Thhis hass leed tto aa coompaassiion forr thhosee wiith chrroniic iinjuuriees tthatt yoou ppurssuedd byy voolunnteeerinng aat aa reehabbiliitattionn hoospiitall. TThiss sooliddifiied youur ccommmitmmentt too woorkiin