(新高考)高考英语二轮复习课时精炼考向40 读后续写之动作心理对话描写(解析版)

考向40读后续写之动作、心理与对话描写在英语读后续写中，利用恰当的动词进行符合特定情境的动作描写，真实准确地描述动作过程，以“动”传神，可以增强续写语篇的灵动性。与此同时可以适当利用契合人物性格特点的心理描写和对话描写，使续写部分更为生动。第一部分动作描写一、动作描写的3个原则①要准确：表现一个动作可以利用许多动词，但应恰当利用最准确的动词，刻画对应的动作。②有过程：展示人物个性的动作时，应通过细节描写展示出动作的过程，在续写时，应按动作的先后顺序叙述整个过程。③用修饰：在描写动作时，可利用各种状语，说明时间、地点、原因、伴随等情况，使动作描写更丰富。二、动作描写常用的高分素材与肢体语言相关的动作描写素材(1)head①Sheturnedandheadedforthedoor.她转身朝门走去。②Heburied/put/heldhisheadinhands,greatlyannoyed.他双手抱头，非常生气。③Manypeopleintheaudiencenoddedinagreement.许多观众点头表示赞同。④Ifellasleepassoonasmyheadhitthepillow.头一碰枕头我就睡着了。⑤Hehung/dropped/lowered/bent/bowedhisheadinshame.他羞愧地低下了头。(2)face①Herfacepaledwithfright.她吓得脸都白了。②Abrightsmileappearedon/spreadacross/crossedhisface.他的脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。③Herfacelitup/brightened/glowedwhenIgaveherthepresent.我给她礼物时，她的脸上焕发出了光彩。(3)cheek①Colorrushed/flooded/rosetohercheekswhensherealizedshewasbeingwatched.意识到有人在看她，她顿时涨红了脸。②Hefelthischeeksburningwithshame.他因为羞愧而感到脸颊发烧。③Hercheekswerewetwithtears.她泪流满面。(4)eye①Heturnedhiseyestothedoorwhenheheardthehandleturning.听到门把转动的声音，他向门那边看去。②Tinasqueezedhereyesshutandbitherlip.蒂娜闭上双眼，咬了咬嘴唇。③Shelookedatherfatherstraightintheeyeandansweredhisquestiontruthfully.她直视父亲的眼睛，诚实地回答了他的问题。④Shetriedtositup,hereyesfixedonJoan'sface.她试图坐起来，双眼紧盯着琼的脸。⑤Ifelttearswellupinmyeyes.我感到泪水在眼里涌出来。(5)mouth①Ourmouthsdroppedopeninsurprise.我们惊奇地张大了嘴。②MymouthstartedwateringwhenIsmelledthefood.闻到食物的香味，我开始流口水了。③MyheartwasinmymouthwhenIwalkedintoheroffice.我走进她的办公室时，紧张得心都提到嗓子眼了。(6)hand①Shetookthechild'shandandhelpedhimclimbthesteps.她拉住孩子的手牵着他爬上台阶。②Hereachedforherhandandheldittightly.他伸手抓住她的手并紧紧握住。③Sheshruggedandspreadherhands.“That'sallIcantellyou.”她耸耸肩，摊开双手说：“我只能告诉你这么多了。”④Sheshivered,rubbingherhandstogetherfiercely.她一边颤抖，一边使劲搓着双手。⑤Herhandsshook/trembledassheliftedtheglasstoherlips.她的手颤抖着把杯子送到唇边。(7)arm①Hewasrunningforward,wavinghisarms.他挥舞着胳膊向前跑着。②Hestoodtherewithcrossedarms,lookingangry.他交叉着双臂站在那里，看上去怒气冲冲。③Shefoldedherarmsandstaredathim.她交叉着双臂注视着他。第二部分心理描写一、心理描写的2种方法心理描写可以揭示人物的内心世界，表达人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写可以运用直接描写和间接描写两种方法。①直接描写：直接写主人公的想法、感受、打算等，在具体写作时，可用“Ifelt”“shethought”“hewould”等句式。②间接描写：人物的性格不同，情绪不同，其所表现出的动作和神态也就不同，因此可以利用人物的动作和神态体现其心理，也可以利用语言描写表现人物心理。二、心理描写的高分素材(1)表“害怕”的心理①Mythroattightenedandmykneesfeltweak.我喉咙发紧，双膝发软。②Ifrozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.我吓呆了，一动也不动。(2)表“愤怒”的心理①Herfacecloudedwithanger.她满脸怒气。②Hisvoicetrembledwithanger.他气得声音发抖。③Heletoutcriesofanger.他发出愤怒的喊声。(3)表“悲伤和绝望”的心理①Hisheartsankatthenews.听到这个消息，他的心一沉。②Overcomewithbitterdisappointment,helockedhimselfupinhisroom.由于极度失望，他把自己锁在房间里。③Hewasabruptlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.他突然被抛进一个黑暗的世界，陷入绝望。(4)表“尴尬、紧张”的心理Sweatwaspouringdownmyface.汗水从我脸上滚落下来。(5)表“震惊”的心理①Shefrozewithshock,asifrootedtothespot.她吃惊得呆住了，就像在原地生了根似的。②Hereyeswidenedfurtherandhismouthopened.她的眼睛睁得更大了，他的嘴张开了。第三部分对话描写一、对话描写的3种表现形式①提示语在前，如Afewminuteslater,shesaid,“Grandmother,Iamfinishednow.”②提示语在后，如“HereisSusan！”thegirlscried.③提示语在中间，如“I'dliketogowithyou，”repliedSusan,“butIcannotfinishthetaskgrandmothersetmetodo.”二、对话描写的3个原则在进行续写时，应根据故事情节发展和人物特征灵活运用对话描写优化续写部分的语言。利用对话描写时，应注重3个原则。①控制对话的比重。对话虽有助于推动故事情节的发展，但不能代替故事情节。读后续写的对话部分所占比重不应高过叙事部分的比重。②对话内容应符合人物特点。不同的人物有不同的身份和性格，因此他们的话语应与原文人物特点吻合。③对话内容应紧扣原文主旨。所写对话应围绕某一中心或话题，且应与原文主旨一致，这样续写部分的思路才是清晰明朗的，才能契合故事情节的发展。如果没有一个固定的中心，随意对话，就会显得不知所云，偏离故事的主题。例如攻略3中的例题第一段中可利用母亲与父亲的简短对话体现母亲健忘的性格。【典例示例】阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。(2020·浙江1月高考改编)“I'mgoingtomissyousomuch,Poppy，”saidthetall,thinteenager.Heeq\a\vs4\al(bentdown)tohughisoldfriendgoodbye.Heeq\a\vs4\al(stoodup)，eq\a\vs4\al(hugged)hisparents,andeq\a\vs4\al(smiled)，tryingnottolethisemotions(情绪)getthebetterofhim.Hisparentswerenotquiteabletokeeptheirsundercontrol.Theyhaddriventheirsonseveralhoursoutoftowntotheuniversitywherehewouldsoonbelivingandstudying.Itwastimetosaygoodbyefornowatleast.Thefamilyeq\a\vs4\al(hugged)andeq\a\vs4\al(smiled)throughmistyeyesandtheneq\a\vs4\al(laughed).Theboyeq\a\vs4\al(lifted)thelastbagontohisshoulder,andeq\a\vs4\al(flashed)abrightsmile.“Iguessthisisit.”hesaid.“I'llseeyoubackhomeinamonth,okay？”Hisparentseq\a\vs4\al(nodded)，andtheyeq\a\vs4\al(watched)asheeq\a\vs4\al(walked)outofsightintothecrowdsofhundredsofstudentsandparents.Theboy'smotherturnedtothedog,“Okay,Poppy,timetogobackhome.”Thehouseseemedquietasatombwithouttheboylivingthere.Allthatweek,Poppydidn'tseeminterestedinherdinner,herfavoritetoy,oreveninherdailywalk.Herownersweresadtoo,buttheyknewtheirsonwouldbebacktovisit.Poppydidn't.Theyofferedthedogsomeofherfavoritepeanutbuttertreats.Theyevenlethersitonthesofa,buttheoldgirljustwasn'therusualcheerfulself.Herownersstartedtogetworried,“WhatshouldwedotocheerPoppyup？”askedDad.“We'vetriedeverything.”“Ihaveanidea,butitmightbealittlecrazy，”smiledMom.“Withoutanybodyleftinthehousebutus,thisplacecoulduseabitoffun.Let'sgetalittledogforPoppy.”Itdidn'ttakelongbeforetheywalkedthroughthefrontdoorcarryingabigbox.Poppywelcomedthemhomeasusual,butwhensheeq\a\vs4\al(saw)thebox,sheeq\a\vs4\al(stopped).Sheeq\a\vs4\al(puthernoseon)it.Hertailbeganeq\a\vs4\al(wagging)(摆动)eversoslowly,thenfasterassheeq\a\vs4\al(caught)thesmell.Paragraph1Dadopenedtheboxandasweetlittledogappeared.Paragraph2Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhomefromtheuniversity.【描写刻画】1．细读原文，明确叙述意图原文叙述要去上大学的男孩和父母和小狗Poppy依依不舍地告别。Poppy自小主人走后便闷闷不乐，对自己爱吃的食物也不感兴趣。男孩的父母决定找一个小狗陪伴Poppy。不难推断出文章旨在描述Poppy是否又开心起来。2．根据段落开头语，围绕原文主旨，确定续写情节确定叙述意图后，定位续写段落开头语关键信息分别是“asweetlittledogappeared”和“Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhome”可推断第一段续写部分应叙述Poppy看到小狗后的反应和她的心情变化——是否转忧为喜？而续写部分第二段应叙述男孩回到家时渴望见到Poppy的心情和动作，以及见到小狗后的反应。3．体会原文动作、心理和对话描写①eq\a\vs4\al(具体的动作描写)：原文在前三段中利用了大量的动作描写(具体动作在原文中已加灰底)描写一家人道别时的依依不舍，同时利用多次出现的hugged和smiled暗示这一家人浓浓的亲情。原文最后一段中的一系列动作(加灰底单词)生动地描述Poppy见到小狗前的反应。②心理描写：原文前三段中的“tryingnottolethisemotions(情绪)getthebetterofhim”和“notquiteabletokeeptheirsundercontrol”及“mistyeyes”体现男孩和他的父母在离别之际的依依不舍。第4～5段中的形容词quiet,interested,sad,worried具体地描述出男孩不在家时这家人对男孩的思念以及男孩父母对Poppy的关心。③eq\a\vs4\al(对话描写)：原文出现四处对话描写，前三段在男孩离开之前的对话描写，体现了男孩舍不得离开父母和Poppy的心情。原文最后三段中的对话描写表现了男孩的父母想方设法想让Poppy高兴起来的迫切心理。4．沿用原文语言特点，完成读后续写原文在动作、心理和对话描写方面不吝笔墨，因此续写部分也应着重使用动作、心理和对话描写。【参考范文】Paragraph1Dadopenedtheboxandasweetlittledogappeared.Poppyjumpedwithjoyatthesightofthelittledog.Sheloweredherheadtowatchitcuriously.Thenshebecamesoexcitedthatsheaccidentallyknockedovertheboxinanattempttogetcloser.Withtheboxtippingover,outcamethelittleone,whowasnotshyandinstantlygotfamiliarwithPoppy.Itdidn'ttakelongbeforethetwoplayedaroundthehouse,cheerfullyrunningaftereachother.Paragraph2Afewweekslater,theboyarrivedhomefromtheuniversity.Hehadbeenmissinghisparentsandthedogsinceitwasthefirsttimethathehadbeenawayfromhomeforsuchalongtime.WhentheboycaughtsightofPoppy,hewentrushingtowardthedogandbentdowntogiveherabighug.Suddenly,theboynoticedthelittledog.“Ohmygod,whoisthis？”Hisparentslaughedatthelookofsurpriseonhisface.“It'sPoppy'snewcompanion.”saidMom.【检测训练】1.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。Anelderlymanhadcollapsedwhilecrossingthestreet,andanambulancesenthimtothehospitalimmediately.Whenthemancametohimselfnowandagain,herepeatedlycalledforhisson.Fromawornletterfoundinhispocket,anemergencyroomnurselearnedthathissonwasasoldier.ThenursecalledtheRedCrossofficeinBrooklynandmadearequestforthesoldiertoberushedtothehospital.Soon,theyoungmanwasfoundandrushedtotheairportintimetoreachhisdyingfather.Itwasmid-eveningwhentheyoungmanwalkedintothehospital.Anurseledtheanxiousmantothebedoftheelderlyman.“Yoursonishere,”shewhisperedtotheelderlypatient.Theoldpatient'seyesopenedonlyaftersherepeatedthewordsseveraltimes.Theoldmanwastooweaksoitwasreallyhardforhimtostayawakeandhecouldvaguelyseetheyoungmanstandingbesidehim.Theoldmanreachedouthishandwithallhisstrengthandtheyoungmanrealizeditandimmediatelyheldit.Thenursebroughtachairfortheyoungmantositbesidethebed.Theyoungmansatholdingtheoldman'shandofferinghimwordsofloveandhope,allthroughthenight.Thedyingoldmansaidnothing.Thenursesuggestedthattheyoungmanmoveawayandrestforawhile,butherefused.Nowandthen,sheheardhimsayafewgentlewords.Thedyingmansaidnothing,onlyholdinghisson'shandtightlythroughoutthenight.Asdawnapproached,theoldmanpeacefullydied.Theyoungmanplacedhislifelesshandonthebedandinformedthenurse.Whilethenursedidwhatwasnecessary,theyoungmanwaited.Whenshefinishedhertask,thenursebegantosaywordsofsympathytheyoungmanneeded.注意：1.续写词数应为150词左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Buttheyoungmanshookhishead.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Hereplied,“Iknewrightawayhewasnotmyfather."_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】Paragraph1:Buttheyoungmanshookhishead.“Thankyou,butwho’sthatman?”heasked.Witheyeswideopen,thenursecouldn’tgetovertheshockbutstaredattheman,andtherewasadeadlysilenceforafewseconds.Seeingherpuzzledlook,themanshruggedhisshoulders,shookhishead,castuphiseyes,andsaid,“Maybetheyhavegotthewrongman.Actually,itiscommonforpeopletosharethesamename.”Noddingherhead,thenurseaskedwhyhedidn’tsayanythinginthebeginning.Paragraph2:Hereplied,“Iknewrightawayhewasnotmyfather.”Then,afteraquickglanceattheoldman,heturnedbackandadded,“ButIalsoknewthatheneededhissonsomuch.Ididn’tknowhowlonghehadn’tseenhisson,butIknewhemustmisshimalot.Assoldiers,wehavetopartourlovedonesforlongtosafeguardourcountry.Althoughheisnotmyfather,Iamhappytoserveashissonforthetimebeing,satisfyinghisfinaldesirebeforeleavingthisworld.”Theroomwassilentagain.【写作分析】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了一位老人在过马路时晕倒，被送到医院，护士从他口袋里发现的一封破旧的信中得知他的儿子是一名士兵，于是通知士兵前来见自己的父亲，士兵一直陪伴着老人直到他去世，最后护士才知道士兵并不是老人的儿子，士兵说自己希望满足老人离开这个世界前的最后愿望。【写作步骤】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“年轻人摇了摇头。”可知，第一段可描写护士得知士兵不是老人儿子后的反应。②由第二段首句内容“他回答说：‘我马上就知道他不是我父亲了。’”可知，第二段可描写儿子对自己的行为做出的解释是希望满足老人离开这个世界前的最后愿望。2.续写线索：年轻人否认自己是老人的儿子——护士吃惊——护士询问为什么一开始不说实话——士兵回答希望满足老人离开这个世界前的最后愿望3.词汇激活行为类恢复：getover/recover担任：serveas/actas回答：reply/respond情绪类困惑：puzzled/confused快乐：happy/pleased【写作亮点】[高分句型1]Noddingherhead,thenurseaskedwhyhedidn’tsayanythinginthebeginning.(运用了why引导宾语从句)[高分句型2]Althoughheisnotmyfather,Iamhappytoserveashissonforthetimebeing,satisfyinghisfinaldesirebeforeleavingthisworld.(运用了although引导让步状语从句)2.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。Itallbeganwhenmyyoungerbrother,Chris,andIwentovertoAuntBarbaraandUncleHoward’sforThanksgiving.MyauntanduncleliveonafarmandChrisandIlovegoingthere.Oneday,UncleHowardhandedmetwoturkeyeggs.“Youkidsputthoseunderasettinghen,”hesaid,“andintwenty-fivedays,you’llhaveacoupleoffineturkeys!”Chriswassoexcitedthathenearlydroppedhiseggonthewaytothehouse.Webothstuffedourselvesatdinnerandthencouldn’twaittogohomeandtendtooureggs.Twenty-fivedaysseemedlikeforever.Finally,onthetwenty-sixthday,ChrisandIwalkedintothecoopafterschoolandspottedtwoballsoffluff,fallingovertheirfeetandlookingsortofconfused.Itwasn’tlongbeforethechickslosttheirfuzzandbegangrowingfeathers.ChrisnamedoneBill,andInamedtheotherTimothy.Idon’tknowwhathappened,butonedaywefoundBilldeadbesidethecoop.Chrisfeltterrible.Itoldhimthatfromnowon,Timothybelongedtohim,too.MomkepttellingusnottogettooattachedtoTimothy,becauseweweregoingtohavehimforThanksgiving.Butweneverpaidtoomuchattentiontowhatthatreallymeant.Then,onedaytowardtheendofOctober,DadpennedTimothyupandgaveChrisandmeinstructions.“Iwantyoutostartgivinghimcornalongwithhisregularfeed,”hesaid.“Wewantanice,fatbirdforThanksgiving.”AfterDadturnedandwalkedaway,Chrisbegantocry.“Don’tworry,Chris,”Isaidcomfortingly.“WellsaveTimothy,somehow.”“Whydon’twegivehimaway?”Chrissuggested.“No,”Isaid.“Ifwedo,he’lljustenduponsomeoneelse’sThanksgivingtable.”“Whatifwetakehimoutinthewoods?”“Healwayscomesbackatnight,”Isaid.Webothsighed.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按照如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph1:SuddenlyIhadanidea.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Toourastonishment,Timothywasgone!____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】Paragraph1:SuddenlyIhadanidea.“Hey,Chris,youknowthatsmallcaveinthewoods?”Chrisnodded.“WecantakeTimothythere.We’llhidehimtillThanksgivingisover.”Feelingsoexcited,wejumpedupandgaveeachotherhigh-fives.Thenextdayafterschool,weleftTimothyinthecavewithanoldpeanutbuttercanfilledwithwater,andplentyoffood.Wepiledbrushovertheopeningtohidetheentrance.Paragraph2:Toourastonishment,Timothywasgone!Chrisbegantocry.Wesatthereforawhilewonderingwhathadhappenedtohim.ThoughIhatedtoadmitit,mythroatsuddenlyhurt.WhenwewentbackandMomsawIwasabouttocry,shecalmedusdown,andwetoldhereverything.Asspringapproached,onedayChrisandIwereplayinginsidewhenweheardMomscreaming,“Lookatthat!It’sTimothy.Heisback!”【写作分析】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者的叔叔给了作者和弟弟两只小鸡，小鸡孵化后，弟弟的小鸡却死了，于是作者把自己的鸡交给弟弟饲养。十月底的一天，父亲告诉作者他们要把那只鸡杀死做感恩节晚餐，他们不愿意，于是作者他们把鸡藏到了山洞里，结果鸡却跑了，作者和弟弟非常伤心，最后在一个春天鸡又回到了家里。【写作步骤】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“突然我有了一个主意。”可知，第一段可描写作者想出了什么方法来救这只鸡，以及他们是如何做的。②由第二段首句内容“令我们惊讶的是，Timothy不见了！”可知，第二段可描写鸡走后作者和弟弟的反应，以及鸡最后回到了家里。2.续写线索：作者想出办法——作者和弟弟藏鸡——鸡不见了——作者和弟弟伤心——作者和弟弟回到家里告诉真相——鸡回来3.词汇激活行为类隐藏：hide/conceal开始：beginto/startto装满：filledwith/fullof情绪类惊讶：toone’sastonishment/toone’ssurprise激动：excited/thrilled【写作亮点】[高分句型1]Feelingsoexcited,wejumpedupandgaveeachotherhigh-fives.(运用了现在分词作状语)[高分句型2]ThoughIhatedtoadmitit,mythroatsuddenlyhurt.(运用了though引导让步状语从句)3.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。UnlikemostU.Snationalparks,Evergladesnationalpark,locatedinsouthFlorida,wascreatedtoprotectafragileecosystem(生态系统)insteadofsafeguardingauniquegeographicfeature.Itisaheavenforawiderangeofwildlife,suchasturtles,snakes,lizards,theGrassfrog,Wadingbirdsandsoon,amongwhicharefierceAmericanalligators(鳄鱼).Itissaidthatsomeofthealligatorsoftenappearintheareaswherepeoplelive,causingmuchdamage.Aterribleincidenthappenedonahotsummerday.Itwassohotadaythatnearlyeveryonefeltlikejumpingintothecoolwater.Alittleboysimplycouldn’tputupwiththeheat,decidingtogoforaswimintheoldswimmingholebehindhishouse.“Mum,itbeingsohot,Iwanttohaveaswim.”theboytoldhismotherwhilewalkingout.“No,Honey,therehasbeenawarningthatanalligatorfromtheparkhasappearedinthesurroundingarea.Itisdangerous!”saidhismotherinaloudvoice.Butthelittleboyrushedoutofthebackdoorlikeagustofwindbeforehismothercouldstophim.Hewasinsuchahurrytodiveintothecoolwaterthatheleftbehindshoes,socks,andshirtasheleft.Heflewintothewaterandenjoyedthecomfortablefeelingthatthecoolwaterbroughthim,notrealizingthatasheswamtowardthemiddleofthelake,analligatorwasswimmingtowardhim.Hismotherwaspreparingdinnerinthekitchenwhensuddenlyshecaughtthetwogettingcloserandclosertoeachotherasshewaslookingoutofthewindow.“Oh,MyGod!”shecouldn’thelpcryingloudly,gettingintoagreatpanic.Andtheningreatfear,sherantowardthewater,shoutingtohersonasloudlyasshecouldalltheway,“Alligator,Alligator!”Hearinghervoice,thelittleboybecamealarmedandmadeaU-turntoswimtohismother.However,itwastoolate.Somethinghorriblewashappening.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在在答题卡的相应位置作答。Justasheapproachedher,thealligatorreachedhim.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Remarkably,afterweeksinthehospital,thelittleboysurvived.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】Possibleversion1：Justasheapproachedher,thealligatorreachedhim.Fromtheshore,themothergrabbedherlittleboytightlybythearmsjustasthealligatorsnatchedhislegs.Itseemedasifitwereanincredibletug-of-warbetweenthetwo.Thealligatorwasmuchstrongerthanthemother,butthemotherwasmuchtoodevotedtoletgo.Fortunately,afarmerhappenedtodriveby.Hearingtheirscreams,heracedfromhistruck,tookaimandshotthealligator.Seriouslywounded,theboywasrushedtothehospital.Remarkably,afterweeksinthehospital,thelittleboysurvived.Hislegswereextremelyscarredbytheattackoftheanimal.Andonhisarmsweredeepscratches,wherehismother’sfingernailsdugintohisfleshinherefforttoholdontothesonsheloved.Whenaskedtoshowhisscars,theboyliftedhislegsandthenwithobviouspride,hesaidtopeoplecomingtoseehim,“Butlookatmyarms.Ihavegreatscarsonmyarms,too.Ihavethembecausemymomwouldn’tletgo.”Possibleversion2：Justasheapproachedher,thealligatorreachedhim.Deeplyshockedbytheterriblescene,motherrushedtoherson,catchingholdofhimtightly,withallhermight.However,thealligatorwasmuchstrongerthanthemother.Inspiteofthis,motherwassodeterminedthatshewouldn’tletgoofherson,screamingforhelpatthesametime.Hearingthefrighteningcry,aneighborrushedout,withaguninhishand,tookaimandthenshotthealligator.Theboygotsaved,butseriouslyinjured.Remarkably,afterweeksinthehospital,thelittleboysurvived.Seeinghismotherandtheneighborsittingbesidehim,theboyhuggedhismother,withtearsinhiseyes,feelinggreatlyregretfulthathedidn’tlistentoher.Bothofthemexpressedsinceregratitudetotheneighbor.Withouthim,thesonwouldhavelosthislife.Andthentheneighborsuggestedputtingupawarningsignatthesideofthelaketoinformothersofthedanger.Theboyunderstoodthesignificanceofsafetyfromthenon.【写作分析】本文是一篇记叙文。文章主要讲述了在一个炎热的夏天，一个小男孩不顾妈妈的反对和警告，到房子后面的一个旧水潭里去游泳，被一条鳄鱼追击，妈妈看到这一幕后，恐惧地跑向水边，边向小男孩大喊，边尽力去救他。在与鳄鱼的拉锯战中，妈妈没有放弃，并在过路的人的帮助之下，救下了小男孩，将他送往医院。【写作步骤】范文一1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“Justasheapproachedher,thealligatorreachedhim.(当他游近她的时候，鳄鱼已经靠近了他。)”可知，第一段可描写妈妈与鳄鱼在争夺小男孩之间的“拉扯”，一个出于母爱，一个出于“饥饿”，不相上下，最终有人帮助救下小男孩。②由第二段首句内容“Remarkably,afterweeksinthehospital,thelittleboysurvived.(经过几周的住院治疗，小男孩竟然活了下来。)”可知，第二段可描写这次鳄鱼攻击对于小男孩留下的伤疤，以及他的感受。2.续写线索：妈妈拉住小男孩——鳄鱼抓住小男孩的腿——妈妈和鳄鱼的拉锯战——有人帮助——小男孩获救送往医院——鳄鱼攻击后的伤疤——男孩对于妈妈极力救自己的感受3.词汇激活行为类①.抓住：grab/snatch/catch/holdonto②.奔跑：run/race/rush③.（使）受伤：wound/scar情绪类①.深爱：devoted/love程度类①.紧紧地：tightly/firmly②.非常/竟然：incredible/remarkably/extremely/much【写作亮点】[高分句型1].Fromtheshore,themothergrabbedherlittleboytightlybythearmsjustasthealligatorsnatchedhislegs.(妈妈在岸上紧紧地抓住小男孩的手臂，而此时鳄鱼也死死地咬住了小男孩的腿。)句子中使用了“(just)as”引导时间状语从句。[高分句型2].Andonhisarmsweredeepscratches,wherehismother’sfingernailsdugintohisfleshinherefforttoholdontothesonsheloved.(他的手臂上有深深的抓痕，那是他的妈妈为了抓住她深爱的儿子而用指甲抠进他的肉里的地方。)句子使用“where”引导非限制性定语从句。4.阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。WhenIwas19,IspentpartofmysummeratanadventurecamponVancouverIsland,supervising(照料)agroupof10-year-oldgirls.Towardstheendofthefirstweek,Itookthemonacamping.Bysixintheevening,we’dclimbedasmallmountain.Thepeakhadtreesononesideandbaldrockontheother.IletthegirlsplayinthewoodedareawhileIarrangedthingsfordinner.Whenthescreamingstarted,Iwasn’ttooalarmed-Icouldseemygrouptearingthroughthebushandthoughtthey’djustdisturbedabees’nest.Asthefirstgirlappeared,Iaskedwhatwasgoingon.“Wildcat!”shegasped.Theimageinmyheadwasofahousecatgonewild,butwithhernextbreathsheadded,“It’sattackingAlyson.”Itoldthegirlstoclimbontotherocksandthenrantowherethey’dbeenplaying.Alysonwaslyingbybush.Shewasonherback,eyeswide,staringatahugecatbesideher.Thecatwaswatchingme.Anyonefamiliarwithwesternswillhaveseenacougar(美洲狮)—themountainlionthatspringsfromtherockfaceontothepasserby.We’dbeentoldhowtodealwithbears:“Keepstill,backup,makeyourselflookbig.”Butwehadn’tcoveredcougars.Igrabbedastickandswungitintotheanimal’sface.Startled,ittookoffintothebushes.SeeingthatAlysonwashurt,Isetoffforthefirst-aidbox,buthadn’tgonefourstepswhenIheardamoan.Turningback,Isawthecougarcrouched(蹲伏)byAlyson’shead.Itappearedtobeeatingher.ThistimeIusedabiggerstick,hitharderandheldon.Onceagain,itdisappeared,andIkneltbyAlyson.“There’snowaysomeonecanlivethroughthis,”Ithought.Thecathadtorndeepintoherneck.Shehadlongcutsonherface.“AmIgoingtodie?”sheasked.Herheartbeatwasracingbutweak,thesignofahearttremblingfromshock.注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph1:“You’renotgoingtodie,”Isaid._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:FrommybranchIcouldseesomepeoplemovingonanearbymountain._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】Paragraph1:“You’renotgoingtodie,”Isaid.ItookoffmyT-shirtandgotAlysontoholditagainstherneck,thenranforthefirst-aidkitandasleepingbag.Theothergirlsstared