(新高考)高考英语二轮复习课时精炼考向45 概要写作之三步优化语言表达(解析版)

考向45概要写作之三步优化语言表达概要写作语言优化三步走概要写作的评分原则之一是“对各要点表达的独立性情况”，即要用自己的语言表述原文要点，不能照抄原文的语句。同时各要点之间应注意利用恰当的过渡衔接词汇，使所写的句子连贯流畅。第一步：替换单词/短语在找出文中的要点后，利用替换单词、短语等方法来增强语言表达的独立性。①利用同义词(短语)或近义词(短语)代替原文单词或短语。②将原文动词短语转换为介词短语、名词短语替换成动词短语、动词转换为名词、形容词转换为副词等。第二步：合理地调整句式除了用替换单词、短语等方式增强语言表达的独立性外，还可以采用灵活调整句式的方式达到语气目标。(1)长变短：压缩长的句子和词组，使其变得短小精悍，如两个简单句整合为一个并列句或主从复合句；复合句或并列句简化为简单句、从句简化为介词短语或者分词短语等。(2)主动变被动：主动句变为被动句式，更生动更符合英语表达。(3)善用定语从句、名词性从句、状语从句、倒装句、强调句、省略句等丰富的句型结构等。第三步：使用恰当的过渡衔接概要写作的评分标准之一是上下文的连贯性，要求你有效运用一定的衔接手段。3种使上下文连贯的衔接手段①词汇衔接：运用原词、近义词或反义词、上下义词等的复现。②逻辑衔接：利用表逻辑关系的过渡词衔接上下文，如besides,inaddition,therefore等，在选用过渡衔接词时，应考虑前后句子之间的内在逻辑关系。③语法衔接：常见的语法衔接有替代和省略。替代：用代词替代前面的名词(短语)和句子，用助动词代替前面的动词(短语)。省略：在语境表达清晰的情况下，为了表达简洁，省略上文或下文的某个词句。【策略演示】阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。(2019年6月，浙江高考)Parentseverywherepraisetheirkids.JennBerman,authorofTheAtoZGuidetoRaisingHappyandConfidentKids,says,“We'vegonetotheoppositeextremeofafewdecadesagowheneq\a\vs4\al(parentstendedtobemorestrict).”Bygivingkidsalotofpraise,parentsthinkthey'rebuildingtheirchildren'sconfidence,when,infact,itmaybejusttheopposite.eq\a\vs4\al(Toomuchpraisecanbackfire)and,whengiveninawaythat'sinsincere,makekidsafraidtotrynewthingsortakeariskforfearofnotbeingabletostayontopwheretheirparents'praisehasputthem.Still,don'tgotoofarintheotherdirection.eq\a\vs4\al(Notgivingenoughpraise)eq\a\vs4\al(canbejustasdamagingasgivingtoomuch).Kidswillfeellikeeq\a\vs4\al(they'renot)eq\a\vs4\al(goodenoughorthatyoudon'tcare)and,asaresult,mayseenopointintryinghardfortheiraccomplishments.Sowhatistherightamountofpraise?Expertssaythateq\a\vs4\al(thequality)eq\a\vs4\al(ofpraiseismoreimportantthanthequantity).Ifpraiseissincereandfocusedontheeffortnottheoutcome,youcaneq\a\vs4\al(giveitasoftenasyour)eq\a\vs4\al(childdoessomethingthatdeservesaverbalreward).“Weshouldespeciallyrecognizeourchildren'seffortstopushthemselvesandworkhardtoachieveagoal，”saysDonahue,authorofParentingWithoutFear:LettingGoofWorryandFocusingonWhatReallyMatters.“Onethingtorememberisthatit'stheprocessnottheendproductthateq\a\vs4\al(matters).”Yoursonmaynotbethebestbasketballplayeronhisteam.Butifhe'soutthereeverydayandplayinghard,youshouldpraisehiseffortregardlessofwhetherhisteamwinsorloses.eq\a\vs4\al(Praisingtheeffortandnot)eq\a\vs4\al(theoutcome)canalsomeanrecognizingyourchildwhenshehasworkedhardtocleantheyard,cookdinner,orfinishabookreport.Butwhateveritis,praiseshouldbegivenonacase­by­casebasisandbeproportionateeq\a\vs4\al(相称的totheamountofeffortyourchildhasputintoit).__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【思路点拨】第1步读懂原文，明确篇章结构本文是议论文，提出当前父母对孩子进行过度赞扬和不表扬是同样有害的，正确的做法是找到其闪光点进行适度的表扬，以培养其自信乐观的心态。文章四个自然段，就是4个意义段，对应4个要点。第一段：指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长。第二段：对孩子的表扬不足同样有害。第三段：对孩子的表扬要恰当而且适时。第四段：关注孩子的努力，不必太过关注结果。第2步去次留精，提炼关键信息本文关键信息已在文中用画线和阴影形式体现，其中画线词为与主题句相关的关键词，其他则为次要信息。第3步归纳要点，合理转换表达采用同义转述、句式转换等方法灵活准确归纳要点，如：①第一段主题句可归纳为要点1：该要点中的“theopposite”可利用同义表达改为contraryto；“stayontopwheretheirparents'praisehasputthem”(指的是父母对孩子过度表扬而设定的目标)可转换为unrealisticgoals。②第二段主题句可归纳为要点2：该要点中的“Notgivingenoughpraise”可转换为inadequatepraise;“they'renotgoodenoughorthatyoudon'tcare”可转换为theyarenotdoingwellortheyareignored。第4步句式多样，注意过渡衔接句式要多样，可利用非谓语动词、定语从句和名词性从句，归纳整合要点。要点1指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长，而要点2说明对孩子的表扬不足同样有害，由此前两个要点为转折关系，可利用however衔接；第3个要点说明要给予恰当适时的表扬，由此可知该要点与前两个要点是因果关系可利用therefore衔接；第3个要点中的恰当适时的表扬与第4个要点中的表扬努力为并列关系，可利用表“并列，顺承”的过渡衔接词汇，如besides,additionally等。【参考范文】Contrarytothepast,someparentsarelikelytooverpraisetheirkids,makingthemfeelgivenunrealisticgoals.(要点1)eq\a\vs4\al(However)，othersgivetheirkidsinadequatepraise,whichgivesthemafalseideathattheyarenotdoingwellortheyareignored.(要点2)eq\a\vs4\al(Therefore)，praisingthemproperlyandpunctuallyisdefinitelyfavorable.(要点3)eq\a\vs4\al(Additionally)，todosoparentsareadvisedtofocusontheirkids'effortinsteadoftheresult.(要点4)【检测训练】1.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Eighty-fivepercentofthejobsthattoday'sstudentswilldoin2030don'texistyet,theInstitutefortheFuturehaspredicted.Thatmightseemlikeahighnumbertoreachinonly10years.Butthinkaboutthenon-mainstreamcareersthatdidnotexistjustahandfulofyearsago:socialmediamanager,appdeveloperandcloudcomputingengineer,etc.Whatroleshouldcollegesanduniversitiesplayinpreparingstudentsforaworkplacethatisconstantlychanging?Educationalinstitutionsaretryingtoanswerthatquestion."Wehopetheywillnotonlybepreparedforwhateverthejobmarketlookslikein10,20or50yearsbutbetheonesshapingit,"saidJennStringer,professorattheUniversityofCalifornian,Berkeley.Herearesomeoftheapproachesthey'retaking.Someexpertsarguethatthefour-yearlearningmodelneedstoberethoughtinabigway.Theysayeducationcannolongerbeseenassomethingthatstopswhenapersongraduatesfromcollege.Ifstudentscouldtakeayearortwooffschool,getajob,andthenreturntoschoolafewyearslater,theeducationsystemwouldoffertruelife-longlearningandbetteradapttochangingtechnology.Feweremployersarewillingtotrainpeopleonthejobthantheemployers50yearsago,largelyaspartofanefforttocutcosts.Tofillthejobskillsgap,somecoursesareofferedasanadd-ontoastudent'smaindegree.Forexample,thecoursesmayincludedataanalysis,webdesignanddigitalmarketing.Thegoalistoofferstudents,adegreeaside,someadvantageswhentheyseekjobsorpromotionsinthefuture.Otherinstitutionsaretryingtoimitatetheworkplacewithinthetraditionalclassroom.Severalcollegeshavepartneredwithprivatecompanies,suchasthesoftwarecompanyAdobe,tointegratetheirproductsintotheclassroom.Professorsatschoolswhopartnerwiththecompanyareencouragedtousetheproductforassignments.Theideaisthatstudentslearnhowtocreateaprojectthatcanbeusedintherealworldandthe"softskills"suchasteamworkandcreativity.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】Tohelpstudentsbettersuitandreshapetheever-shiftingworklandscape,collegesaretakingvariousmeasures.(要点1)Firstly,life-longandadaptivelearningmodelisexpectedtoreplacethepresent4-yearone.(要点2)Besides,additionaltrainingprogramsbeneficialtoacquiringpracticaljobskillsareprovidedforcollegestudents.(要点3)Moreover,somecollegescooperatewithenterprisestomakeclassroomsmorelikeworkplacesandenhancestudents’allroundcapabilities.(要点4)【写作步骤】第1步:根据文章内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。文章第一段用提问的方式引出主题：大学在帮助学生们适应不断变化的职场起到什么角色？所以本文的内容概要是为了帮助学生更好适应职场，大学采取了各种各样的措施。要点1要先写出文章目的。要点2第二段讲到第一点措施offertruelife-longlearningandbetteradapttochangingtechnology.终身和适应型学习模式预计会替换现在4年教育。要点3在第三段somecoursesareofferedasanadd-ontoastudent'smaindegree.有益于获得工作技能的格外的培训项目被提供给大学生。要点4.在最后一段：大学和公司合作把课堂营造成职场并加强学生全面能力。第2步:根据写作要求,确定关键词(组),

如:beneficialto有益的；areprovidedfor被提供Moreover而且,somecollegescooperatewith合作；enhancestudents’allroundcapabilities增强全面的技能.

等。第3步:根据提示及关键词(组)进行遣词造句,注意主谓一致和时态问题。第4步:连句成文,注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰，保持整洁美观的卷面是非常重要的。【写作亮点】本文内容完整,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当。作者在范文中使用了较多高级表达方式,如Tohelpstudentsbettersuitandreshapetheever-shiftingworklandscape,和Moreover,somecollegescooperatewithenterprisestomakeclassroomsmorelikeworkplacesandenhancestudents’allroundcapabilities.中都出现非谓语动词的运用，全文中没有中国式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外,

文章思路清晰、层次分明，上下句转换自然,为文章增色添彩。2.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Thesedays,footballisoneofthemostpopularsportsintheworld.GiventhatNeilArmstrongwantedtotakeafootballtotheMoon,wecouldevensaythatitisalsothemostpopularsportoutofthisworld!ThehistoryofthegamegoesbackovertwothousandyearstoAncientChina.Itwasthenknownascuju(kickball),agameusingaballofanimalskinswithhairinside.Goalswerehungintheair.FootballasweknowittodaystartedinGreatBritain,wherethegamewasgivennewrules.Thatfootballissuchasimplegametoplayisperhapsthebasisofitspopularity.Itisalsoagamethatisverycheaptoplay.Youdon'tneedexpensiveequipment;eventheballdoesn'thavetocostmuchmoney.Allovertheworldyoucanseekidsplayingtotheirhearts'contentwithaballmadeofplasticbags;justlikePeledidwhenhewasaboy.Anotherfactorbehindfootball'sglobalpopularityisthecreativityandexcitementonthefield.Itisfunenoughtoattractmillionsofpeople.Youdonothavetobeafantorecognizetheskillofprofessionalplayer-howtheyusetheirbodiestopass,scoreanddefendcanbeamazingtosee-ortofeeltheexcitementofagameendingwithasurprisingtwist.What'smore,footballhasbecomeoneofthebestwaysforpeopletocommunicate:itdoesnotrequirewords,buteveryoneunderstandsit.Itbreaksdownwallsandbringspeopletogetheronandoffthefield.Take,forexample,thefamousfootballgameonChristmasDay1914.WorldWarIhadbrokenoutmonthsbefore,butBritishandGermansoldiersputdowntheirgunsandplayedfootballtogether-onemomentofpeacetorememberduringyearsofconflict.“Somepeoplebelievefootballisamatteroflifeanddeath,......“saidBillShankly,thefamousfootballerandmanager.“Icanassureyouitismuch,muchmoreimportantthanthat.”Thismightsoundfunny,butoneonlyhastothinkabouttheEarthtorealizethatourplanetisshapedlikeafootball.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】FootballenjoysuniversalpopularitywithahistorytracingbacktoAncientChinaanditsmodernrulesoriginatingfromGreatBritain.(要点1)Suchpopularityliesfirstinthesimplicityandlowcostofplayingthegame.(要点2)Creativefootballskillsandexcitinggameatmospherealsocontributetoitspopularity.(要点3)Furthermore,footballisameansofcommunicationbeyondwords,powerfulenoughtodissolvebarriersandpromotepeace.(要点4)Accordingly,footballismorethanjustasport.(要点5)(71words)【写作步骤】1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要说明了足球的历史可以追溯到古代中国，它的现代规则起源于英国。这种流行首先在于游戏的简单和低成本。创造性的足球技巧和激动人心的比赛气氛也有助于它的流行。此外，足球是一种超越语言的交流手段，它足以消除障碍，促进和平。因此，足球不仅仅是一项运动。2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。4）在写作时要特别注意下面几点：（1）概要应包括原文中的主要事实，略去不必要的细节。（2）安排好篇幅的比例，概要应同原文保持协调，即用较多的文字写重要内容，用较少的文字写次要内容。（3）注意要点之间的衔接，要用适当的关联词语贯通全文，切忌只简单地写出一些互不相干的句子，但也不要每两句之间都加关联词语，以免显得生硬。（4）不排斥用原文的某些词句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的话语表达，至少对原文句子做一些同义词替换，如果结构上也能有一些转换会更好。（5）计算词数，看是否符合规定的词数要求。3.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。ItwasoncecommontoregardBritainasasocietywithclassdistinction.Eachclasshaduniquecharacteristics.Inrecentyears,manywritershavebeguntospeakofthe“declineofclass”and“classlesssociety”inBritain.Andinmoderndayconsumersocietyeveryoneisconsideredtobemiddleclass.Butpronouncingthedeathofclassistooearly.Arecentwide-rangingstudyofpublicopinionfound90percentofpeoplestillplacingthemselvesinaparticularclass;73percentagreedthatclasswasstillavitalpartofBritishsociety;and52percentthoughttherewerestillsharpclassdifferences.Thus,classmaynotbeculturallyandpoliticallyobvious,yetitremainsanimportantpartofBritishsociety.Britainseemstohavealoveofclasses.OneunchangingaspectofaBritishperson'sclasspositionisaccent.Thewordsapersonspeaksshowherorhisclass.AstudyofBritishaccentsduringthe1970sfoundthatavoicesoundinglikeaBBCnewsreaderwasviewedasthemostattractivevoice.Mostpeoplesaidthisaccentsounded“educated”and“soft”.Theaccentsplacedatthebottominthisstudy,ontheotherhand,wereregional(地区的)cityaccents.Theseaccentswereseenas“common”and“ugly”.However,asimilarstudyofBritishaccentsintheUSturnedtheseresultsupsidedownandplacedsomeregionalaccentsasthemostattractiveandBBCEnglishastheleast.ThissuggeststhatBritishattitudestowardsaccenthavedeeprootsandarebasedonclassprejudice.Inrecentyears,however,younguppermiddle-classpeopleinLondon,havebeguntoadoptsomeregionalaccents,inordertohidetheirclassorigins.Thisisanindicationofclassbecomingunnoticed.However,the1995popsong“CommonPeople”putsforwardtheviewthatthoughamiddle-classpersonmay“wanttolivelikecommonpeople”theycanneverappreciatetherealityofaworking-classlife.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】CurrentlyBritainseemstobeclasslessintheconsumersociety.(要点1)However,astudyshowsBritishstillhaveastrongsenseofclasswhichcontinuestobeacrucialpartforthem.(要点2)Whatremainsthesameisthattheaccentrepresentsaperson'sclasswhilepeople'sattitudestotheaccentarerelatedtoclassprejudice.(要点3)Nevertheless,nowadaystheyounguppermiddleclasscoveruptheiroriginswithotheraccents.(要点4)4.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Withthedevelopmentofthecomputer,virtualreality(虚拟现实)stepsinourlife.Ifsomethingisvirtual,thenitiscreatedbycomputertechnologyandappearsasifitwerereal.VRisacomputersystemwithaspecialheadset(耳机).Whenyouputontheheadset,youwilllookattwotinytelevisionscreens.Theyaresoclosetoyoureyesasifyouseejustonepictureandyouwillbelievethatyouhaveenteredadifferentworld.Inmanysystems,youalsowearspecialgloves.Withtheglovesyoucanreachoutandtouchthingsintheunrealworld.ThefirstVRgames,whichhavealreadybeensoldaroundtheworld,enableyoutodriveasportscar,flyaplane,orfightanenemy.Inthefuture,itmaybedifficulttotellthevirtualworldofthegamesfromtherealworldoutside.However,VRisnotjustforentertainment.Oneday,delightedchildrenwillbeabletolearnhistorybyvisitingthepyramidsofEgypt.Inaddition,businesseswillbeabletouseVRformanytasks.Pilotwillbeabletopractiseflyingvirtualplanesbeforetheygointotheair.VRcanhelpusimprovetheworldinhundredsofways.However,somepeoplehavewarnedthattherecouldbedangers.Itmightbedangerousifwedosomethingwrong,orifpeopledonotwanttoreturntorealitybecauseitissaferthanreallife.Besides,wewillforgethowtoliveandworkwithrealpeople.TherewillbesomeproblemswithVR,asitisnewforus.However,onethingisforsure:VRisheretostay.Getreadytostepintoanotherworld!____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考范文】VRisacomputersystemwithaspecialheadsetandspecialgloves,whichenablespeopletoenteranunrealworld.Itisappliedtomoreandmorefields,suchas,entertainingpeople,educatingchildren,dealingwithbusinessandtrainingpilots.However,itmightbedangerousifpeopledon’tuseitproperly.Inconclusion,nomatterwhatproblemsitbrings,VRissuretobepartofpeople’slifeinthenearfuture.【写作分析】这是一篇说明文。主要讲述了什么是虚拟现实技术以及它的应用。如果不正确使用的话，将会有危险。阅读短文可知，文章主要描述了虚拟现实技术，介绍了虚拟现实技术的定义以及其用途。以及若不正确使用的话会有危险。但是总之，不管它带来什么问题，虚拟现实在不久的将来一定会成为人们生活的一部分。结合大意进行英文写作，可参考短文内容，注意字数在60字左右。5.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Parentseverywherepraisetheirkids.JennBerman,authorofTheAtoZGuidetoRaisingHappyandConfidentKids,says,“We’vegonetotheoppositeextremeofafewdecadesagowhenparentstendedtobemorestrict.”Bygivingkidsalotofpraise,parentsthinkthey’rebuildingtheirchildren’sconfidence,when,infact,itmaybejusttheopposite.Toomuchpraisecanbackfireand,whengiveninawaythat’sinsincere,makekidsafraidtotrynewthingsortakeariskforfearofnotbeingabletostayontopwheretheirparents’praisehasputthem.Still,don’tgotoofarintheotherdirection.Notgivingenoughpraisecanbejustasdamagingasgivingtoomuch.Kidswillfeelliketh