2016专四作文讲评及写作指导

一、2016年专业四级写作题目大要（一）测试要求：写一篇200个单词左右的作文，考试时间45分钟，计20分。（二）2016年专四作文评分标准：1.summary（6分）2.comments（12分）A.思想与表达（ideasandarguments）7分（满分7分，此中6-7分优秀，4-5分优秀，3分一般，1-2分较差。）（1）思想内容（content）内容贴题；内容充分；见解明确；论据支持论点；有独到见解。（2）表完收效（effectiveness）表达清楚；有说服力。（3）篇章组织结构（rhetoricalorganization）每段有主题句；句间连结自然；段间过渡自然；第一部分明确提出见解；最后一部分自然得出结论；段落摆列合理。B.语言运用能力（languageuse）5分（满分5分，此中5分优秀，3-4分优秀，2分一般，1分较差。）（1）正确性（correctness）语法正确；句子结构正确；固定搭配正确；用词正确。（2）丰富性（richness）词汇丰富；句子形式多样。（3）得体性（appropriateness）语气适合；语言地道。3.写作规范mechanics（2分）（满分2分，此中2分优秀，1.5分优秀，1分一般，0.5分较差）单词拼写正确；标点符号正确；大小写正确；书写雅观；卷面齐整。优选范文1Whenitcomestowhetherparentsshouldtaketheirchildrentospendholidaysduringterm-time,viewsontheissuevaryfrompersontoperson（.引入话题）Parentsclaimthatbydoingso,theycansavealotofmoneybornofbusyschoolholidays.Educationalofficialsstronglyopposethistendencyonthegroundthatitencouragestruancy,whichinturndamagesachild’（s两education种见解）.Asaresult,UK’seducationauthoritiesarenowbanningparentsfromtakingtheirchildrenforholidaysduringterm-timetosavemoney（.概括资料）Frommyperspective,themeritsofbanningterm-timeholidaysoutweighitsdemerits（.陈述见解）Tobeginwith,takingtoughmeasuresonthiskindoftruancyisconducivetothenormalteachingprocess,oneofthekeyelementstoguaranteekidacademicperformance（.原因一）Asweknow,currently,teachershavethediscretiontoapproveacertaintimeofabsencefromschoolforeachchild.Bydefinitelyabolishingtherightofheadteachersto“authorizeabsence”fromtheclassroom,thoseteacherscanrarelybepesteredbyparentswhowanttotakechildrentogoonaholidayjusttosavemoney,whichseverelydisruptsteachingprocess（.详细论证一）What’smore,withoutstrictpenaltiesimposedontheparentswholeadtotheirkid’splayingtruant,thoseparentscangraduallyviewaskingforholidayleaveasaright.（原因二）Oncethisculturalexpectationisformed,theleveloftruancywilldramaticallyincrease（.假设论证二）Accordingly,thegrowingtrendofterm-timeholidaysshouldbebannedwithnodelay.（重申论点）Inthisway,teacherscanimpartknowledgewithoutdisturbanceandparentswillbedeterredfromsavingmoneyattheexpenseofsacrificingtheirkid’seducation.范文2NewresearchhasshownthatalmostfouroutoftenparentsintheUKhavetakentheirchildrenoutofschooltogoonholidays.（描述背景）Costisthemainreasongivenbyparentsforsacrificingtheirchildren’seducation.Parentsaretobebanned,优选however,byUK’sEducationAuthority,fromtakingtheirchildrenoutofschooltogoduringtermtime.（总结资料。围绕两点：cost,ban）Shouldlocalauthoritiesstaggerschoolholidaystoenablefamilieswithchildrentotakeadvantageoftravelbargains?Orisitwrongforparentstojeopardizetheirchildren’seducationforthesakeofacheaperholiday?AsfarasIamconcerned,educationismoreimportant.（提出见解）Firstly,children’seducationmustcomefirst.Acheapholidayduringtheschoolseasonshouldn’tbethehildreasontotakeacoutofschool.Someparentsarenotwillingtosacrificeorscheduletheirlivesintermsoftheirchildren’sneeds.Thiskindofattitudewillinfluencetheirchildrendeeply.Itnowondersomanykidsarenotinterestedinschoolanddoneirstudy’ttakethseriously.（论据一）Secondly,schoolisn’tdaycarecenter.It’saneducationalinstitutionthatneedseverystudenttofollowitsrules.Takingachildonholidaywhenschoolisinsessionwilldisturbtheorderoftheschool.（论据二）Besides,itisdisruptiveforthechild,becausehewillhavetocatchupwhenhereturns（.论据三）Allinall,takingchildrenoutofschoolforacheaperholidayisirresponsiblebehavior（.总结前文）Thoseparentswouldriskbeingfinedfinanciallyandmorally.It’snotonlydskithatneedtogrowup——alotofparentsneedtoaswell.优选二、2016专四写作部分问题解析（一）作文审题问题。1.不熟习专四改革后的写作题目设计特色，只看资料马上着手写作，忽略了对材料的解析和概括。2.题目要修业生：Youshouldcommentonwhetherparentsshouldtakechildrenoutofschoolforholidaysduringtermtimeinordertosavemoney。有相当一部分学生对题目中提到的家长可否应该利用假期带领孩子出游的见解进行了详细的论证，但是他们忽略了题目要求的最后一个重要信息：inordertosavemoney，致使学生在阐述个人见解时根本没有涉及savemoney。（二）语篇连结问题。在写作过程中若是忽略语篇的连结，就会致使句子和句子之间的逻辑凌乱、层次不分明、不能够有力地论证见解。比方：Iaminclinedtobanthetermtimeholidays.Itcansavemoney.Childrenarebasedonthebeliefthattoprovestudyskills.Schoolsareagoodplaceforchildrentopractice（非连结句）Iaminclinedtobanthetermtimeholidaysbecauseitcansavemoney.Foronething,childrencanimprovetheirstudyskillsatschoolwhichisagoodplaceforchildrentopracticetheirabilities（连结句）（三）语言功底问题：句式单一，语法错误，词汇误用，用词缺少变化。Isupportsuchthingbythegovernment.Educationplaysaveryimportantroleinaperson’sdevelopmentinearlieryears.Withouteducation,heretmaybemoresocialproblems,andthepoorpeoplehavefewerchancestomoveupwardthesocialladder.（句式单一，用词简单）Iaminsupportofsuchmovebythegovernmentbecauseeducationliesintheheartofaperson’sdevelop