2023年广州一模读后续写jobos+on+the+hill+讲义 高考英语作文复习专项

续写原文SandyandJanecametoseethejobotreeonthehilltopagain.Jobosweretheirfavoritefruit,butthetreebelongedtoaladywholivedinthehousebythehill.Theyheardshewasdifficult,butthatsometimesshewouldgivefruitinreturnforanerrand（差使）.Thegirlsfinallygatheredtheircouragetoknockonherdoor.Anelderlywomanwithafiercelookanswered,staringdownatthegirls.“Weheard…,”saidSandy,hervoiceshaky,“thatyougivejobosinpaymentforrunninganerrand.”Theladyraisedoneeyebrow,thenwentintothekitchenandtooktwobaskets.Shepushedthemintothegirls’hands.“Gofillthesewithjobos,andcomerightback.”Thegirlsracedupthehilltothetreeandfilledthebasketswiththeripestjobos.Backatthehouse,theladyfilledabagwithriceandhandedittoSandy.“TakethisbagandonebasketofjobostotheBrownfamily.Andaskthemforthepayment,”theladyaddedwithatightsmile.“Ifyoureturnwithoutthepayment,youwon’tgetthefruit.”Thegirlsstruggledallthewaywiththebagandthebasket.Whentheywerethere,Mrs.Brownansweredthedoor.Insideonthefloorwerethreelittlechildren,eachpaintingsomethingonpapers.Mr.Brownwaslyingsickinbed.Timeswerehard.Thegirlshandedherthefood.“Thisisfromtheladywiththejobotree,”saidSandy.

“Sheaskedforthepayment,too.”Janesaidawkwardly.

“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhandshappily.SandyandJanelookedateachotherstrangely.Withasmile,Mrs.BrownhandedSandyalargesealed（密封的）envelopesofullthatitwasalmoststartingtobreakopen.Thegirlssaidgoodbyeandleftquickly.“Iwonder,”Sandymurmured,“whetherMrs.Browncanaffordtopayforthatfood.”段首句

Worried,thetwogirlsdiscussedwhatwasintheenvelopeastheywalkedback.Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapers,andsmiled.主题：人与社会，助人话题

读后续写前文简介一对小女孩很喜欢jobo果，但听说jobo树的主人是一个难相处的女士，有时可以通过帮她跑腿获得jobo果。于是她们鼓起勇气询问了这个女士，帮这个女士送东西给MrBrown一家人，并须带回“payment”才可获得jobo果。后文的续写一般在阅读的前文中会埋下伏笔，我们在进行续写时，要尽量贴近前文的内容，使得续写的故事与前文的故事情节能够和谐地衔接起来。那我们如何找伏笔呢？

如何找伏笔

就这篇故事而言，我们在阅读中发现，作者有意识地多处刻画了thelady的神态，反复给读者强调“Theyheardshewasdifficult”这个传言。比如以下这几句：

Theyheardshewasdifficult...

Anelderlywomanwithafiercelook...

theladyaddedwithatightsmile...这种对人物同一方面细节的多处刻画，我们就要留心了，是否作者此处的刻画是有意留伏笔呢。在故事阅读到中后段时，出现对MrBrown一家的家庭现状和情绪神态的描写也显得稍有矛盾，不合情理。既然这一家子里，MrBrown卧病在床，且还有三个年幼的娃要抚养，为什么在这一对姐妹提出payment时反而是兴奋开心而非愁闷呢，且这一对姐妹也表达出了其中的奇怪之处。文中句子如下：

“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhands

happily.

Witha

smile,Mrs.BrownhandedSandyalargesealed(密封的)envelopesofullthatitwasalmoststartingtobreakopen.因此，阅读故事中感受到了与故事背景有明显的矛盾或是不合情理之处，我们也要多留心，有可能是伏笔。

伏笔外显

既然确定了伏笔，那续写的内容也比较好办了。我们可以通过两种方式来确定

写作内容。1.人物反差

原文：Theyheardshewasdifficult...

续写：“Thepaintingsarethebestpaymentforme.MrsBrownhasatoughtimetogetthroughwithherhusbandsickandthreechildrentobringup.”

SandyandJanetrulyfelttherewas

agentleheartunderneathhertightsmile.2.回应伏笔

原文：“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhandshappily.

续写：Sheplacedherpalmsonenvelope,reflectedonthefamilyandsuddenlysheclaimed,

“Paintings!Itmustbethegirls’paintings!”

原文：“Ifyoureturnwithoutthepayment,youwon'tgetthefruit.”

续写：“Wedidn’tcomebackwiththepayment.关于此篇读后续写的第二段范本的看法：续写的第二段内容，故事主题稍微有点偏，故事内容衔接上读起来感觉也不太流畅。所以，重新根据自己的看法和对这篇故事的理解，对第二段续写内容重新改写了一个版本写作第二节(原范文第二段)Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapersandsmiled.0nthepaperswerecolorfuldrawingsfromthechildren.Atthisscene,SandyandJanelookedateachotherandsmiled.Then,thegirlsgainedtheirpayment-fullbasketofripejobos..Forthem,itturnedoutthattheirerrandnotonlygainedthemtheirfavoritefruit,butalsoasweettasteofgettingpaymentbytheirhardworkwhentheytookabite,thejuicewasassweetasthefeelinginsidetheirheart.写作第二节(修改范文第二段)Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapersandsmiled.Asexpected,thepapersarepaintings.Withoutwaitinggirlstoaskforjobos，theladytookonebasketofjobos,andpushedittothegirls.Holdingthebaskettightly.SandyandJanelookedateachotherwithcuriosity.“Wedidn'tcomebackwiththepayment.Wouldyoustillofferusthejobos?”Sandyasked,withpuzzledeyes.paintingsarethebest