Sex and the City《欲望都市（1998）》第五季第八集完整中英文对照剧本

欲望城市（性♥爰♥专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问）“爱的神秘”纽约就像不断扩张的宇宙InthiseverexpandinggalaxycalledNewYorkCity,许多天体每天绕着同一个轨道运转therearecertainheavenlybodiesoneorbitsaroundeveryday.然后恒星每隔几年都会吸引Andthen,therearethosestarswhosegravitationalpull或抛开游离的小行星onedriftsinandoutofovertheyears.#Isthatallthereis?#老是绕着我打转的巴比范BobbyFine；satellitefriend,是钢琴酒吧里的传奇人物pianobarlegend.我通常会在家穿着粉红色礼服Iusuallydothisnumberathome戴着佩姬李的假发唱这首歌♥inapinkcaftanandaPeggyLeewig.三杯黄汤下肚我保证一定走音Likeyou'veneverdonethesamethingafterthreedaiquiris?但是现在我必须休息一下Butrightnow,Imusttakeaquickbreak跟我的名人好友打招呼tosayhellotoacelebrityfriend.这里的每个人都是名人吧？Isthereanyotherkind?欢迎凯莉布雷萧小姐LittleMissCarrieBradshaw.她写书Shewritesbooks.大家还记得什么是书吧？Yourememberbooks?DVD的原始版PrimitiveversionsoftheDVD.别笑了Stop,pleasestop.好吧再来一次Okay；onemoretime算是给坐在廉价后座的客人优待皇后区的花♥园♥很漂亮Ma'sgardeninQueens.是紫丁香Oh,lilacs.没错Yeah.好漂亮的花Goodflowers.米兰达不确定是紫丁香的香气Mirandawasn'tsureifitwasthesmellofthelilacs,宝宝的味道thesmellofthebaby,还是史蒂夫皮肤的气味在作祟orthesmellofSteve'sskin,但那天下午butthatafternoon,她跟前男友史蒂夫做♥爱♥了Stevewentfromextosex.我跟史蒂夫做♥爱♥了IsleptwithSteve.米兰达承认他们的关系介于Mirandaadmittedtheyweresomewherebetween好友跟情人之间介于曼哈顿跟汉普顿之间friendsandlovers,somewherebetweenManhattanandtheHamptons.所以你要参加派对Oh!That*swhyyoudecidedtoparticipateinthecharade.你想逃开这一切You'refleeing.事实上我是个逃犯I'mafuckingfugitive...Literally.那是心动的感觉吗？Perhapsitwasthezsa-zsa-zsu.不那是我们不该去抓的痒处No,itwasanitchwhichweshouldn'thavescratched,现在我们踏入了灰色地带becausenowwe'reintoagrayarea.没有性关系让我们走得很近Nothavingsexwastheonlythingholdingourrelationshiptogether.你逃进婚姻里Well,you'refleeingtotherightwedding.那真的是太妙了Ithinkthat'sthetheme.说真的Seriously.带着孩子你没办法交男朋友跟他相处甚欢Youcan*thaveakidwithsomeone,andgetalong,性生活美满却又不会让别人误解andhavegreatsexwithoutgivingthewrongimpression.那么做你快乐吗？Thatbeingwhat,thatyou'rehappy?很快乐Fabulous!当然了Absolutely!带他们一起来Yeah,bringthemalong.我也期待你的大驾光临Well；Ilookforwardtoseeingyoutoo.这个派对一定会很棒Oh!Thispartyisgoingtobeamazing.大家都会赞不绝口StrictlynA-list.n我们还在宾客名单中吗？Arewestillinvited?对但你的小孩不是Yes,butshittypantsthereisnot.我找不到保姆所以得带上他Ihavetobringhim,Iwon*tbeabletofindasitter.他已经毁了我的午餐我不会再让他毁了我的派对He'sruiningmylunch,hersnotruiningmyparty.宝宝不能来Nobabies.很显然这次的聚会已经搞砸了Evidently,there'salreadyapartypooper.番茄酱Ketchup.凯莉Carrie?你好Yeah,hey,hi.-我是杰克•你是柏格我还记得你-Jack.-Berger,Iknow,Iremember.你过的怎么样？还好吗？What'sgoingonhere?Areyouokay?我该用热狗面包跟树枝帮你做止血带吗？DoIneedtomakeatourniquetoutofahotdogbunandatwig?那只是・・・Nah,it'sjust...・番茄酱・对-Ketchup.-Yeah.谢谢你Oh,thanks.我没想到你会骑摩托车Ididn'tfigureyouforamotorcycleguy.我其实不会Turnsout,Tmnot.我只是因为分手一时冲动买♥♥下它Iboughtitasareactiontomybreakup.那正是我要的ItwasexactlywhatIwanted.成为单身汉的柏格ABergerwithasideofsingle.你骑车的样子很帅Well,youlookgoodonit.不我站在它旁边时很帅No,Ilookgoodnexttoit.我骑车时是这个样子Onit,Ilooklikethis.我真的不饿Infact,Tmnotevenreallyhungry.我停车是因为有只虫撞上我的护目镜Ipulledover'causeabughitmyvisor我的手还在抖and,look,myhandsarestillshaking.原来你是个烂骑士Soyoufre"UneasyRider."如果你到得了汉普顿Well,uh,ifyoumakeittotheHamptons,我朋友明天要在那里办派对myfriendishavingapartytomorrowafternoon.就在理查莱特的房♥子里It'satRichardWright'shouse.我听说了Iheardaboutthat.那地方很不错Yeah,that'squiteaplace.我到我的房♥子时会经过Ipassitonthewaytomyhouse.好吧我要喝杯汽水Allright,I'mgonnagetasoda.我在安全帽里拼命尖叫觉得喉咙很干Mythroat'skindofdryfromallthescreaminginsidemyhelmet.很高兴能见到你It'snicetoseeyou.我也是柏格Yeah,youtoo,Berger.或许我们明天能见到面MaybeI'llseeyoutomorrow.见不到我的话..・Yeah,ifyoudon't,uh...就打电♥话♥报♥警♥callthehighwaypatrol.好吧Okay,yeah.这的确是种心动的感觉Definitelyzsa-zsa-zsu.隔天早上莎曼珊在Thenextmorning,Samanthaprepared借来的屋里准备盛大的派对-herborrowedbeachhouseforthebigbash.-Oh!Hello!一半的桌子摆在房♥子附近Iwanthalfthetablessetupnearthehouse其他的就摆在游泳池边andtheothersnearthepool.你们是谁？Uh,ladies?卡珊卓我的包包呢？Um,Cassandra,didyoubringmytote?我的防晒乳在哪里？Oh,shit,wherearemyMerits?女士对不起Ladies,excuseme.Hi.服务生该到客房♥去换衣服Thewaitstaffistochangeintheguestcottage客房♥就在入口附近downneartheentrance.你们是服务生吗？Aren'tyouheretowaitress?我们会到餐厅吃饭但我们不在那里工作Wegotorestaurants.Wedon*tworkinthem.理查在哪里？Where'sRichard?理查？Richard?理查不在这里Well,Richardisn'there.这个周末我借用了他的房♥子Fvegotthehousethisweekend.对不起Excuseme.对不起你们要去哪里？Excuseme.Whereareyougoing?理查说我们随时都能过来游泳Richardtolduswecouldhangbythepoolwhenever.今天不行Well,youcanrtpoolhangtoday.三点我要办派对I'mhavingapartyat3:00.到时候我们就走了Oh,we'llbefriedbythen.我的手♥机♥收不到讯号♥Ihavenocellreceptionatall.米兰达带宝宝来了什么都别说Mirandabroughtthekid.Don'tsayanything.我知道你不喜欢宝宝Iknowyoudidn'twantanybabies,他穿劳夫罗伦的衣服我把他的屁♥股♥塞起来了buthe'swearingRalphLauren,andI'vestuckacorkuphisass应该没问题soitoughtabeokay.这应该是个超级棒的派对Thisissupposedtobean"A-list"party.游泳池的波霸是谁？Thenwho'stheHdouble-D-listnbythepool?她们不肯离开Ugh,theywon'tleave.还说理查答应让她们过来TheysayRichardletsthemhangouthereonweekends.白吃白喝的家伙Fuckingfreeloaders.住在玻璃屋的家伙Peopleinglasshouses.我没有白吃白喝Iamnotfreeloading.我和他经历了很多事IwentthroughalotwithRichard.不结婚的人应该得到奖励Andpeopleshouldberewardedfornotgettingmarriedaswell.说实话我不知道你们为什么要分手Frankly,Idon*tknowwhyyoubrokeupwithhim.不忠跟欺骗比起游泳池别♥堂♥又算什么？What*salittlelyingandcheatingcomparedtoapoolwithalittlecabana?你是不准宝宝来还是不准波霸来？Uh,didyousaynobabiesornoboobies?波霸跟布莱迪-Lady.-Yeah.都不能来AndBrady.那真的是太没品了Thatissoinappropriate.来自硅谷的问候Greetingsfrom"SiliconeValley."大家都听到了Shh,peoplecanhearyou.怎么？没有人看得出来她们的咪♥咪♥是假的吗？What?Likeeveryoneherecan'tseethosetitsarefake?纽约库归区的人都能看出来那是假的PeopleasfarasQuoguecanseethosetitsarefake.别再说"咪♥咪♥"了Wouldyoustopsayingtits?你为什么要穿那件T恤？Andwhyareyouwearingthatshirt?热带风味的T恤不流行了Tropicalshirtsareout.这不是热带风味的T恤Thisisnottropical.这是大溪地代表服装Ifstiki.请把它脱掉Well,please,ntikiitoff.*'我还以为你永远都不会问我Oh,Ithoughtyouwouldneverask.我的天你的背都红了Oh,myGod,yourback!你一定对除毛剂严重过敏Youmusthavehadabadreactiontothewaxing.是的Oh,yeah.我觉得有点痒-Ithoughtitfeltitchy.-Ew.突然间发现长点毛也不算太糟糕Suddenly,alittlehairisn'tlookingsobad,huh?凯莉这是女人间的谈话Carrie,womantowoman,性太美好了thesexisamazing.从来没有男人能让我有那种感觉I'veneverhadamanmakemefeelthisway.别说了辣妹你怎么能继续…Oh,why,hush,MissScarlett,howyoudogoon.谁订了美男子？Well...whoorderedtheAdonis?巴比贝西他是我男朋友马可斯Bobby,Bitsy,thisismyboyfriend,Marcus.天啊快去健身房♥吧ForGodsakes,man,getyourselftoagymonceinawhile.看看你的身体太恶心了Lookatthatbody.It*sdisgusting.我从你的小腹可以捏出起司来Wow,Icouldgratecheeseonyourabs.一份大披萨不要义大利腊肠Onelargepizza,andholdthesalami.在我跟你结婚前麻烦你穿上衬衫Oh,please,putashirtonbeforeImarryyou.我三个月没碰过碳水化合物了Oh,no,Ihaven'ttouchedacarbohydrateinthreemonths.我得塞进那件婚纱里I'vegottafitintothatdress.亲爱的吃点东西吧Honey,please,eatsomething.看看她她就是风♥骚♥贝西Wouldyoulookather,she*sItsy-Bitsy.巴比Oh,Bobby.巴比我来找塔柯特顺道来打招呼Oh,Bobby,IseetheTalcotts.We'vegottasayhello.各位明天见Seeyoualltomorrow.好的Okay.再见-Bye.-Bye.我发誓我很认真的说Iswear,andI'mtotallyserious,他说他可以从马可斯肚子上挤出起司时我差点昏倒IalmostfaintedwhenhemimedgratedcheeseonMarcus.很明显他想要他Itissoobviousthathewantedhim.清醒一点Trytokeepup.巴比是异性恋-Bobbyisstraight.-Oh.Right.她在做什么？Whatisshedoing?或许他会逗她笑Maybehejustmakesherlaugh.你不能坐下再吃吗？那真的很不文雅Can'tyouwaittillwesitdowntoeat?It'ssocrass.我今天有什么地方能让你看得顺眼？Question...isthereanythingaboutmetodaythatdoesn'tbugyou?大家都在吃东西你该把T恤穿上Whenpeoplearetryingtoeat,youshouldhaveyourshirton.你的脸沾到了酱汁-Mmm.-Andyouhavesauceonyourface.你也一样Nowsodoyou.为什么她要告诉我他们的性生活很美满？Whydidsheneedtotellmethesexwasamazing?因为那很神奇Becauseitisamazing.她讶异于他不必用小鸡鸡She'samazedhe'sabletogetithard就能硬起来withoutanotherpenisintheroom.说到小鸡鸡Andspeakingofdicks,你认为理查跟那些臭女人上♥床♥过吗？doyouthinkRichardsleptwithanyofthosecocoabutterbitches?不我相信他们只是好朋友No,I'msurethey'rejustgoodfriends.柏格Berger!-我看起来怎么样？-非常好-God,howdoIlook?-Youlookgreat.天啊镜子在哪里？Oh,Jesus.Where'samirror?这里Oh,here.太棒了-Ta-da.-Oh,great.好吧把它放下谢谢你办了派对Allright,putitdown,okay.Thanksforhavingaparty.你买♥♥♥房♥♥子几年了？Howlonghaveyouhadahousehere?三年-Threeyears.-Oh.不久后在蝴蝶的飞舞之间Momentslater,amongthebutterflies,我也有了心动的感觉Ifeltbutterflies.花♥园♥很漂亮There'sareallynicegarden.你的花♥园♥吗？Soyougarden.不我对拿锄头的事不在行No,no.Ihavebeenknowntohoe.我的前女友把花♥园♥料理得很好Butmyexactuallyplantedthegarden希望夏天能吃到新鲜沙拉sowecouldenjoyfreshsummersalads.但我们没有撑到夏天所以…Wedidn'tquitemakeittothesummer,so,uh...那里只留下了痛苦的记忆it*smoreafreshpainthanfreshvegetables.我甚至没办法走到花♥园♥去Yeah,Ican'treallygooutthere.我了解你的感觉我跟前男友分手时Yeah,Iknowhowyoufeel.WhenIbrokeupwithmyex,我没办法走进他家具店附近的六个街区内Icouldn'tbringmyselftogowithinsixblocksofhisfurniturestore.你们何时分手的？Whendidyoutwobreakup?去年第二次分手Uh,lastyearforthesecondtime.前年第一次分手Webrokeupthefirsttimetheyearbeforethat.你们分手了两次太棒了Oh,youbrokeuptwice；waytogo.第一次时我们伤害了彼此Yeah,well,wehadn'tsufficientlyhurteachotherenough但还伤得不够thefirsttimearound.这次我们是一刀两断Butwedefinitelytookcareofbusinessthistime因为他搬过来跟我住becausethistimehemovedin.我们一起买♥♥了很多东西所以…Sowehadthemergingofthethingsand...也必须把东西分清楚-Right,-...thedividingofthethings.问题是你不愿意归还Andthethingsthatareleftbehind剩下的东西因为那么做太心痛了thatyoudon'twanttogivebackbecausethatseemsmean.你也不想把它们丢掉Andyoudon*twanttothrowthemaway那是你仅剩的回忆becauseit'sallyouhaveleft.年纪越大做起来越难forthecheapseatsintheback!（就这样吗？）#Isthatallthereis?#（对就这样）#Yes,that'sallthereis#你们认识多久了？Howlonghaveyoutwoknowneachother?这么说吧Oh,let'sputitthisway,从“猫’还是小猫开始Catswasjustkittens.音乐剧〃猫〃吗Cats,themusical.・别开玩笑了•我喜欢“猫”-Hello.-Oh,IlovedCats!救护车Medic!才没有那么久Ithasn'tbeenthatlong；hasit?拜托我们刚认识时Please,darling,whenwemet,你还在跳有氧操史丹佛还有头发youtookaerobics,andStanfordhadhair.巴比Bobby.贝西我以为你去吃晚餐了Bitsy,Ithoughtyouhadadinner.没错司机在外面绕圈圈Oh,Ido,thedriveriscircling,我必须进来打个招呼butIhadtorunupandsayhello.你好你好你好-Aw.-Oh,hello,hello,hello,hello.贝西冯马芬林BitsyVonMuffling,凯莉米兰达莎曼珊thisisCarrie,Miranda,Samantha,跟喜欢〃猫〃的小姐andtheonewholikedCats.贝西我是莎曼珊琼斯Bitsy,SamanthaJones.Anditjustgetsharderaswegetolder因为我们不会跟不合适的人约会becausewe'renotdatingwildlyinappropriatepeopleanymore.根本没有“还好分手了〃这回事Youknow,there's...there'sno,"Phew,gladthat'sover."没错Right.Right.每次分手后我告诉自己Andaftereverybreakup,Itellmyself,我不会再这么做那太难了"Tmneverdoingthisagain,"It'stoohard.人可以承受多少这样的打击？Imean,howmanyofthesethingscanonepersonsurvive?人们应该立法规定谈恋爱要戴安全帽Youknowwhat?Theyshouldinstituteahelmetlawforrelationships.对说得好Right,that'sexcellentlyput.谢谢你Well,thankyou.我该走了Well,Ishouldgetgoing.Uh...我要骑六小时的车才能回到两英里外的家Ifsgonnatakemesixhourstodrivethetwomileshome,so...我的外套Oh,myjacket.抱歉Sorry.希望没有沾到草汁Oh,gee,Ihopetherearen'tgrassstains.没事这是件旧外套No,no,it'sold.・好吧再见一再见-Okay,bye.-Bye.他飞快地逃走Themancouldnotgetawayfrommefastenough.很明显共鸣跟可怕只有一线之隔Apparently,it'sashortroadfromcommiserytomisery.你没事吧？Oh,areyouokay?没事Oh,yeah,okay.很完美一切都很顺利Perfect.Everything'sgoingoutrightontime.这里没有标签Um,there'snoTabinhere.你们开我的冰箱做什么？Whatareyoudoinginmyrefrigerator?这是理查的冰箱It*sRichard'srefrigerator.食物是我买♥♥的Istockedit.你看到米果了吗？DidyouseeanyRiceKrispiestreats?理查都会留米果给我们吃Richardusuallyleavesthosearoundforus.不我没看到No,Ididn't.那些柠檬是调饮料用的Andthoselemonsareforthedrinks,而饮料是我买♥♥的drinksIpaidfor.随便你Whatever.食物也是我买♥♥的AndIalsopaidforthefood.你们两个对这个派对Infact,theonlythingatthisparty唯一的贡献就是露出咪♥咪♥thatyoutwoactuallypaidforareyourbreasts!你嫉妒吗？Jealous?对Oh,yes.我非常嫉妒I'mjealous.我好希望自己也能长这样Fmjustdyingtolooklike...this.如果你真的能长那样你就会跟理查在一起Well,maybeifyoudid,you*dbeoutherewithRichard.说得好Snap!很明显借用玻璃屋的人Evidently,peoplewhoborrowglasshouss不该乱丢甜瓜shouldn'tthrowcantaloupes.隔天早上史丹佛跟马可斯帮忙照顾布莱迪Thenextmorning,whileStanfordandMarcushadBrady,米兰达跟我共进早午餐MirandaandIhadbrunch.这些松饼好吃吗？Howaboutthesemuffins?蛋美味极了Howabouttheseeggs?餐巾很棒Howaboutthesenapkins?盘子也不错Howabouttheseplates?我们何不嫁给男同性恋？Howaboutwemarrygayguys?现在我别无选择HowaboutmaybenowIwon'thaveachoice.真的有那么糟糕吗？Wasitreallythatbad?再见柏格Bye-bye,Berger.前一分钟我们还在笑下一分钟Oneminutewewerelaughing,thenextminute,他从我面前飞快地逃走hehadtogetawayfrommesofast,还留下了摩托车滑倒的痕迹真的我可以指给你看heleftskidmarks.Seriously,Icanshowthemtoyou.麻烦把果酱递给我Jam,please?我知道我做了什么我太早跟他说出了心中事IknowwhatIdid.Irevealedtoomuchtoosoon.我不擅处理情感问题Iwasemotionallyslutty.■那跟真正的你不同-那不是我■That'snotlikeyou.-Itwasn*tme.我想要心动的感觉想疯了Itwasthezsa-zsa-zsu,itmakesmecrazy.贝西冯马芬林范或许做对了BitsyVonMuffling-Finemayhavetherightidea.我们该停止寻找完美的第一名Maybeweshouldstoplookingforagreatrelationship只要找第二名就好了andsettleforafineone.如果史蒂夫是同性恋我一定要嫁给他fdmarrySteveinasecondifheweregay.一切将会变得很容易Ugh.Everythingwouldbesoeasy.他是同性恋Soagayarea比你们处在灰色地带好？isbetterthanagrayarea?对Uh,yeah.我还要咖啡你呢？Morecoffee.Youwantsome?咖啡很不错Greatcoffee.说些我不知道的事TellmesomethingIdon*tknow.什么？What?你办到了史丹尼Youdidit,Staney.你事业成功住在大房♥子里Greatman,greathouse,还有一段天赐良缘greatrelationship.我们一直都在寻找这些东西而你找到了We'veallbeenlookingandyouactuallyfoundit.马可斯跟我MarcusandIhaven'thadsex买♥♥下辛西雅罗莉瓷器后就没做过爰sinceweboughttheCynthiaRowleychina.谢天谢地我松了一口气ThankGod.Iamsorelieved.贝西冯马芬林BitsyVonMuffling,我一眼看到你就爱上了你thefirsttimeIsawyou,Ifellinlove.你穿着那套酒红色的迪奥礼服YouwalkedinwearingthatredvintageDior.房♥间里出现了粉红象（指事情荒谬到极点）Pinkelephantintheroom.抱歉Doyoumind?我在听新娘跟新娘说话I'mlisteningtothebrideand...bride.亲爱的巴比范MydearBobbyFine.我觉得贝西不会冠上范这个夫姓SomethingtellsmeBitsyisn'tdoingfine.她姓冯马芬林真的很不适合Andthatrsthelittlepieceofinformationshe'sbeen"von-muffling.n早上你等着我Youarethereformeinthemorning,晚上你也等着我thereformeatnight.不论好坏你都等着我Thereinthegood.Thereinthebad.你在我的脑海里Thereinmythoughts.你在我的梦里Thereinmydreams.但亲爰的最重要的是Butmostofall,mydarling,你永远都在我的心里youarethereinmyheart.Forever.或许我们太挑剔了Perhapswewereallmuchtoocynical.或许机缘巧合下Perhapssomehow,despitetheodds,巴比跟贝西找到了真爱BobbyandBitsyhadfoundsomethingreal.我宣布你们成为夫妻Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife.你可以吻新娘了Youmaykissthebride.再一次算是给坐在廉价后座的客人优待Onemoretimeforthecheapseatsintheback.看来有人要跳舞了Lookslikesomebodyoverhereisabouttodance.我想你或许小看他了Ithinkyoumayhavesoldthisonealittleshort.我也是Me,too.假以时日Withalittletime好好地调♥教♥一下也说不准呢andtherightastringent,whoknows?我的脸上跟齿缝都没有东西There'snothingonmyface.Nothinginmyteeth.你会讨厌我的舞姿I'msureyou'llhatemymovesonthedancefloor,但男人必须冒这个险butthatistheriskthateverymanmusttake.这真是美好的一晚Whatabeautifulnight.真糟糕我把年度最佳男友吓跑了It'stoobadIblewmyonlychanceataboyfriendthisyear.你要抱抱我男朋友吗？Youwanttoholdmyboyfriend?我想再吃块蛋糕Uh"thinkI'mgonnadrownmysorrows来治疗我的伤痛inanotherpieceofcake.有人问起你Andifanybodyasks,说我吃了两块蛋糕就行了Ihadtwo,notthree.你闻到了吗？布莱迪Doyousmellthat,Brady?那是紫丁香的味道Thatrslilac.我们该打电♥话&hearts浩诉爸爸我们很想他吗？ShouldwecallDaddyandtellhimwemisshim?我是史蒂夫现在不在家请留话Hey,it'sme,Steve.Fmnothere,leaveamessage.你相信这场婚礼吗？Doyoubelievethiswedding?命运真是在捉弄我们Funnywherelifehastakenus,huh?我还记得参加婚礼是为了免费大吃一顿的时光Irememberwhenwewenttothesethingsjustforthefreefood.我在皮包里藏了春卷Ihavedinnerrollsinmypurse.这是我的歌♥There'smysong.这是我的女人Andthere'smygirl.我爱她WhomIlove...如果你怀疑的话incaseyouhadanymoneyridingonit.我一点都不怀疑Notapenny.#Isthatallthereis?##Ifthat'sallthereisMyfriends##Thenlet'skeepdancing...#小心Lookout.她手里拿着水果She'sgotapieceoffruit她真的会用它来砸人andshe'snotafraidtothrowit.我们能不能别谈那件事？Canwenottalkaboutthat?好吧我们是唯一的单身人士Okay.Butwe*llbetheonlyoneshere.我很高兴布莱迪不是派对上最幼稚的人Look.TmjustgladBradywasn'tthebiggestbabyattheparty.待在理查的房♥子里让我有点抓狂IguessIwentalittlecrazybeingatRichard'shouse,加上他的波霸女友来白吃白喝aroundhisparty-crashingpussyposse.心动的感觉变坏了到底是什么样的感觉？Whatdoyoucallzsa-zsa-zsugonebad?是心痛的感觉"Zsa-zsa-ew."我爱上全世界最棒的男人ThenIfellinlovewiththemostwonderfulboyintheworld.贝西亲爱的一切都很完美Oh,Bitsy,honey,everythingwasperfect.没错甜点除外Itwas.Oh,exceptforthedessert.上层奶油太软Thetoplayerofthecremebruleejustwasn'thardenough.这场婚礼的问题在于Yeah,that*stheproblemwiththiswedding.奶油太软Thecremebruleeisn'thardenough.（然后有一天）Andthenoneday,（他离开了我以为我会死掉）hewentawayandIthoughtIwoulddie.（但我没有）ButIdidn't.（活下来的我对自己说）AndwhenIdidn't,Isaidtomyself,（这就是爱吗？）isthatallthereistolove?严格来说我不是凑巧出现I'mnottechnicallycrashing.今天我在城里吃午餐Iwashavinglunchintowntoday新郎邀请我来参加婚礼andforsomereasonthegroominvitedme.#Isthatallthereis?#我们可以跳只舞吗？Shallwe?#Ifthat'sallthereisMyfriends##Thenlet'skeepdancing#哈利Harry.怎么了？你想我除掉眉毛？What?Now,youwantmetowaxmyeyebrows?我想或许我爰上你了IthinkImaybefallinginlovewithyou.我从第一眼见到你就爱上了你I'vebeenfallingforyousincethemomentwemet.■但我从来没想到…•什么？-ButIneverthought...-What?你可以跟上流社会的人交往Crmon,youcouldhaveanyblue-bloodedguyhere.我…rm...你很棒You'rewonderful.我是犹太人AndJewish.所以呢？So?我们会有什么结局？Sowherecanthisgo?我不知道Idon'tknow.我们走着瞧吧Let'sfindout.夏洛特・・・Charlotte...我必须跟犹太人结婚IhavetomarryaJew.她可以嫁给男同性恋Shecanmarryagayguy你不能娶圣公会教♥徒♥?andyoucan'tmarryanEpiscopalian?现在我们该怎么办？Whatdowedonow?我不知道Idon'tknow.跳舞吧Dance.很明显.・・Apparently...夏洛特对犹太人动了心Charlottehadthe"zsa-zsa-Jew.H你真的好安静You'reawfulquiet.我打算保持那样子AndIintendtostaythatway.不你很棒No,youwerefine.我只是不确定我能不能再爱一次Ijustwasn'tsureifIwasupforallthatagain.于是我心想…ThenIthought...你想到了什么？Thenyouthoughtwhat?或许我们该在分手前约会一次Maybeweshouldgooutonadatebeforewebreakup.说到爱情Whenitcomestorelationships,或许我们都住在玻璃屋里maybewe'reallinglasshouses不该乱丢石头andshouldn'tthrowstones因为谁都无法知道答案becauseyoucanneverreallyknow.有些人能安定下来Somepeoplearesettlingdown...有些人妥协了somepeoplearesettling...有些人拒绝妥协于安定andsomepeoplerefusetosettleforanythingless...#Thereis#他们仍在找心动的感觉...thanbutterflies.我帮你的博物馆慈善会做过公♥关♥IdidPRforyourmuseumbenefit.莎曼珊我爱死你了Ah,Samantha,ofcourse,Ilovedyou.我只是吓了一跳还有人喜欢“猫”IwasjustsothrilledthatsomeoneactuallylikedCats.我没有那么喜欢它WeltIdidn'tlikeitthatmuch.服务生五号♥更要点幽默感Waiters,senseofhumor,tablefive.莎曼珊你好吗？SoSamantha,howareyou?我好极了你呢？Fabulous,howareyou?非常棒我疯狂地坠入爱河就快要结婚了Delirious,Tmmadlyinloveandgettingmarried.我们要在汉普顿办婚礼Big,big,bigHamptonswedding.恭喜你谁是那个幸运的男人？Oh,congratulations,who'stheluckystud?我Me.你要结婚了？You'regettingmarried?你能相信吗？Canyoubelieveit?贝西跟我订婚了BitsyandIare"enfianced/1我终于遇到了我的梦中情人Ifinallyfoundtherightgirl.百老汇先生得靠意淫让自己的小♥弟♥弟♥打起精神来Well,Mr.Broadwayhastogotinklebeforehecantinkle.莎曼珊我有你的住址你一定要来AndSamantha,Ihaveyouraddress,youhavetocome.很高兴能见到你们Nicemeetingyouall.再见Bye.Okay,bye...我还以为他是同性恋Ithoughthewasgay.没错Ah,yeah.“百老汇先生得靠意淫”“Mr.Broadwayhastogotinkle/'那句话的同性恋意味太浓了thathastobethegayestsentenceeveruttered.他这么做一定是为了钱Hemustbemarryingherforthemoney.他不需要钱Hedoesn'tneedthemoney.他是“歌&hearts海线上〃的创始投资人HewasoneoftheoriginalinvestorsinAChorusLine.我想你再也听不到比“百老汇先生得靠意淫”Justwhenyouthoughtyou'dneverhearaphrasegayerthan更具同性恋意味的话了"Mr.Broadwayhastogotinkle."他为什么要结婚？Whywouldhebegettingmarried?1988年巴比范宣布他要卖♥♥掉In1988,BobbyFineannouncedthathewasgoingtosell在市区的钢琴酒吧hispianobardowntown跑到尼加拉瓜当义工照顾孤儿andgovolunteerwithNicaraguanorphans.那些孤儿还在等待救援Theorphansarestillwaiting.他不可能结婚的Thisweddingwillneverhappen.-真的发生了■一切都订好了•It'shappening.-Everything^booked.问题是我们要住在哪里？Sothereallybigquestioniswherearewegoingtostay?那是个大问题吗？That'sthereallybigquestion?问题应该是他们为什么结婚Whataboutwhyarethesetwopeoplemarryingeachother?就这样吗？Isthatallthereis?贝西说他们深深相爱Well,Bitsysaidtheyweremadlyinlove.我发现爱是最脆弱的理由Yousee,Ifindthelovefacadethemostoffensivepart.我们是成年人我们可以应付它We'readults.Wecanhandleit.贝西应该说“我老了我需要伴"BitsyshouldsayJTmgettingolderandIwantcompanionship/'巴比应该说“帅哥不要我了”OrBobbyshouldsay,"Thehotmendon'tgoformeanymore/'别印喜帖告诉大家那就是爰butdon'tprintupinvitationsandcallitlove.一副爱能让人改变性向的样子Asiflovetransformspeopleandchangesmolecules真是胡扯'causethat'sbullshit.你不想当我的男伴？Iguessyoudon'twanttobemydate,then.除非他们有避暑别♥墅♥Nodatesunlesstheyhavesummerhouses.放松我们要跟史丹佛及马可斯住Oh,relax,wecanstaywithStanfordandMarcus.我一定是个白♥痴♥才会在劳动节前跟理查分手IwasafooltobreakupwithRichardbeforeLaborDay.他有栋很漂亮的房♥子Hehasafabuloushouse.就算你付我钱我也不会去Iwouldn'tgotothischaradeifyoupaidme.这就像房♥子里有头粉红象It'slikethere'sapinksuedeelephantinthemiddleoftheroom大家却装做什么都没发生一样andnobodyisallowedtotalkaboutit.你觉得他们不会有性生活？Doyouthinktheywon'thavesex?结婚的人最终都会没有性生活Allmarriedcouplesstophavingsexeventually.不是这样的你跟已婚男人发生性关系了That'snottrue,you*vehadsexwithplentyofmarriedpeople.所以我才会知道这档子事That'showIknow.好吧Okay.就当他们是在找老伴Let'ssayit'scompanionship.如果没有爱的感觉Howdoyousustainarelationship怎么能维持婚姻关系？withoutthezsa-zsa-zsu?你说什么？Thewhat?你的心跟乱飞的蝴蝶一样时Youknow,thatbutterfliesinyourstomachthing你不只爱上了对方thathappenswhenyounotonlylovetheperson,你还想拥有他butyougottahavethem.不是那股力量一直支持你吗？Isn'tthatwhatgetsyouthroughtheyears?就算爱已消逝你还会记得那种感觉Evenifitfades,atleastyouhavethememoryofthezsa-zsa-zsu.大家想做什么我都没意见I'mfinewithwhateverpeoplewanttodo.我只要求对方坦白Justbestraightwithme.我想那就是贝西跟巴比求婚的理由Ithinkthat'showBitsyproposedtoBobby.这个时候Itwasrightaboutthen,夏洛特决定跟我们坦白Charlottedecidedtobestraightwithus.我在跟某人约会应该可以那么说I'mseeingsomeone,sortof.你应该算是在跟某人交往？You*reinasortofrelationship?这太可笑了他不是我那一型的It*sridiculous.He*ssonotmytype.他是异性恋吗？Isheheterosexual?对Yes.但他是个秃头Buthe'sbald.矮冬瓜Andshort.喜欢边吃东西边说话Andhetalkswithhismouthfull.我不想被人在公开场合看到我跟他在一起AndIdon'tevenwanttobeseeninpublicwithhim.我讨厌他的名字他叫哈利AndIhatehisname,Harry.他除了头顶外全身都是毛Becauseheis,everywherebuthishead.你们的性关系很糟糕吗？Isthesexbadtoo?这是我一生中最棒的性经验It'sthebestsexofmylife.我想或许我喜欢他IthinkI