探索世界探索自我读后续写之自画像讲义高三英语写作复习专项

探索世界探索自我——读后续写之自画像科学和艺术往往被认为是截然不同的领域，一是向“外”求知识，一是向“内”求精神，但本质上都是对未知的求索。“Bothscienceandartarefundamentallyconcernedwiththeexplorationanddiscoveryoftheunknown.

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Dr.RadhikaPatnala以下分享的这篇读后续写题立意之深值得学生一读，灵活运用原文实现续写与原文的协同更值得一写。（回顾2024南通二模续写\t"s://mp.weixin.qq/_blank"“MyBestExamination”如何实现“协同"）

原文(20232024学年第二学期天域全国名校协作体联考高三年级英语学科试题）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。SelfPortraitAliawasdisappointedtofindherselfinthedrawingstudio.Shehadbeensickwiththefluduringtheweekwheneveryoneelsegottopicktheirclasses.ShehadhopedforAstronomyorMarineBiology,buttheywerefullbythetimeshegottochoose.Shelovedeverythingaboutscience,fromthewayitusedfactsandformulastohowitrevealedthebasicnatureofthings.Butartwasso...unscientific.Thefirstclassprojectwasselfportraits.Somestudentsweredrawingselfportraitsusingmirrors.Otherswereworkingfromphotographs.Aliaglancedattheinpletesketches,feelinglikeacatinadogshow.Butshehadnochoice.Hesitantly,sheliftedapencil,onlytopausebeforethecanvas.Confusionandreluctancewereevidentlywrittenonherface;shehadnoideahowtoproceedwithherstrokes.TheteachercameuptoAlia'seasel

（画架）.Seeminglyhavingnoticedhertrouble,hesatnexttoher."Everyportraitbeginswithacircle,"hesaid."Thenyoucreateaseriesoflines."Todemonstrate,hedrewagroupofsmall,quickportraits.Hebeganeachonewithacircle,somestraightlines,andatriangletodeterminewheretheeyes,nose,andchinshouldgo.ToAlia'samazement,eachportraitonthepapertookform.Aliahadneverthoughtaboutit,butthefeaturesofeveryone'sfacewereinthesamespots."Goaheadandgiveitatry."Theteacherhandedthepencilbacktoher.Takingadeepbreath,Aliabeganherownselfportrait.Shedrewthebasicformofahead,thewayshehadbeenshown.Fromthere,sheusedlinestoplotthefeaturesofherface.Shehadtotakenoteofeachdetail,witheachstroke,lineandcurvedemandinghercloseattention.Onewrongmeasurementcouldthrowoffthewholeportrait.注意：1.

所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.

请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。para.1Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision.

para.2Admiringherwork,Aliasuddenlyrealizeddrawingwasjustwhatshehadhopedfor.

01

原文分析SummaryofthestoryAlia发现自己被安排在绘画工作室，而不是她原本希望的天文学或海洋生物学课程。她对艺术感到陌生和困惑，觉得它与科学完全不同。然而，当她开始学习绘画并接受老师的指导时，她开始感受到绘画的乐趣和挑战，发现了绘画的美妙之处。Themeanalysis如其它突出主人公change的故事一样，本篇续写要强调

Alia

在学习绘画过程中的转变和成长。🖌对自身的认识的转变：①强调绘画过程需要patience和precision。Alia

学会了在绘画过程中耐心地观察、精确地测量和仔细地描绘细节，才能完成一幅优美的画作。②这次经历让Alia醒悟：“Don'tassumeyouwon'tlikesomethinguntilyoutryit.”

③画自画像的过程也是selfdiscovery的过程，真正认识自己，发现自己的兴趣和潜力。🖌对艺术的认识的转变：①尽管艺术和科学看起来截然不同，但在细节处理和表达方面，它们都需要精确性和系统性。在续写中，可以强调Alia通过绘画发现了科学和艺术之间的联系和共同点，意识到艺术的科学性。②她意识到绘画不仅是一种艺术形式，更是一种表达自己想法和感受的方式，这与科学所追求的客观性和逻辑性相辅相成，进一步体会到艺术的魅力。🖌对世界的认识的转变：不要被自己的先验经验所限，要以开放的眼光去看待世界，发现身边事物的美。Drawingthemedvocabulary原文大量和画自画像有关的词汇可在写作中运用：circle,lines,triangle,tookform,plotfeatures,takenoteofeachdetail,stroke,curve,measurement,portrait,inthesamespot02

构建情节细节引导学生充分分析givensentences，设置排序和填空任务让学生勾勒续写情节主体，并且辨别情节顺序和主次。keyspara.1Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision.①（与前一句和前文衔接）Alia开始认真画画②（过渡）画画过程中的心理变化③（承上启下）完成绘画初次感受到艺术的魅力和自己绘画的能力para.2

Admiring

herwork,Aliasuddenlyrealized

drawingwasjustwhatshehadhopedfor.①（与前一句衔接）欣赏自己所作肖像画的发现和感受→②（过渡）对艺术的深刻理解→③（收尾）艺术初体验给Alia带来的启发和对未来的期待03

多种方法润色语言Echoing经过之前几篇练习，多数学生已经能灵活运用原文素材到续写中了。实现情节、主题和语言三方面的“协同”。Rhetoricaldevices我喜欢把学生作文里面好句挑出来，小小修订一番展示给全班同学看，并且让学生作者本人陈述句子。学生也很喜欢这种讲评方式，毕竟受表扬了，谁不开心呢？这次许多学生习作也确实可圈可点，很多人运用了比喻、排比、类比等手法。Metaphor

(描写绘画过程)Therhythm

ofthescratchagainstthecanvas

remindedherofthescientificproceduressheadored....gradually,herpaintingwas

likeaflowerboomingoncanvas....shedidn’tfeellike

acatinadogshow

anymoreWiththebrushdancinggracefullyonthepaper,avividpaintingwasborn.Miraculously,the

dancingbrushbroughtthegirlonthecanvastolife.Herbrushwas

dancingintheairtothemelodiousrhythmofhercreativemind.Engagedinherselfportraitcreation,Aliafeltlike

swimmingintheoceanofart.parison（传达主旨）Measuring,studyingdetails,revealingthebasicnatureofsomething—itremindedherofwhatshelovedaboutscience.Theselfportrait

before

herwas

notjust

acollectionoflinesandshapes

but

a

deepandthoroughexploration

ofherownface.Sherealizedthatartandsciencewere

notsodistinct,

bothrequiring

akeeneye,asteadyhand,andanopenmind.04

参考范文我结合已有参考范文版本改进后提供给学生理解和背诵，并配上每句话的写作目的和翻译。（真是保姆式教学😖）Theprocesstookpatienceandprecision.Shecloselyobservedthefeaturesofherface,meticulouslymeasuredthesizes,andcautiouslymadeastroke,thewayshehadstudiedaplexformula.Everystepdemandedherconcentration.Therhythmofdrawingremindedherofthescientificproceduressheadored.【作画过程如同科学步骤】Slowly,onherfacetheinitialreluctanceandconfusionwereerased,givingwaytoanimmersionandenjoymentindrawing.【心理变化】Asthebrushdancedgracefullyonthecanvas,aselfportraitwasbornalive,witheachfeatureintheproperplace.Theteachercame,examinedAlia'sworkandnoddedtoher,smiling,"Goodjob".【作画结果】Admiringherwork,Aliafoundthatdrawingwassurprisinglywhatshehadhopedfor.Theselfportraitbeforeherwasnotjustacollectionoflinesandshapesbutadeepa