中美婚姻观的跨文化对比研究

ACross-CulturalComparisonofMarriageConceptbetweenChinaandAmericaIntroduction1.1ResearchbackgroundandresearchsignificanceMarriageisanancientthemeofhumansociety.Asanimportantpartofthemarriageconnotation,marriageethicsistheproductofthedevelopmentofhumansocietytoacertainstage.Intheprocessofdevelopment,ChineseandWesternmarriageethicsnotonlyconformtothecommonalityofthedevelopmentprocessofhumanmarriageethics,butalsohavethecommonalitydifferentfromothercivilizations.AfterthereformandopeningupofChinesesociety,Chinahasenhanceditsexchangeswithothercivilizationsintheworld.TheChinesebegantoexaminethesimilaritiesanddifferencesbetweenChinesecultureandothernationalculturesinthecontextofglobalization.Duetothetransitionoftheeconomicsystem,Chinesefamilies,whicharethebasiccomponentsofsociety,begantoundergoprofoundchanges.Therefore,peoplebegantopayattentiontothesimilaritiesanddifferencesbetweenChineseandWesternfamiliesintermsofmarriageethics,hopingtofindasolutiontofamilyproblems.However,thesocietyinchangedoesnotformanobjectiveviewofmarriageethics.SomepeoplethinkthatChina'soriginalmarriageethicscannolongeradapttothenewchangesinChinesesociety'smarriageandfamily.WeshouldabsorbtheWesternmarriageethicsrepresentedbytheUnitedStates.ButothersbelievethatAmericanmarriageethicsisareflectionofthedecadentlifestyleofcapitalismandshouldberesolutelyresisted.ThishasledtotheconfusionofChina'smarriageethics,whichhascausedthedeclineofthequalityofmarriageinChinatosomeextent.ThefirstistosortoutthecontentofmarriageethicsintheprimarystageofsocialisminChinaandtoclarifytheneedsofChina'sfuturedevelopmentofmarriageethics.Chinaiscurrentlyinaperiodoftransition.Underthejointeffectofvariousfactors,traditionalmarriageethicshasbeenimpacted.Thesocialistmarriageethicshasnotyetbeenfullyestablished.Atthesametime,Westernfamilyethicshasbeenintroducedintooursociety,whichhasresultedinChina'smarriageethics.mess.Atthistime,combingtheSino-USmarriageethicsandclarifyingtheinfluencingfactorsandcharacteristicsofmarriageethicswillhelppeoplecorrectlytreatthemarriageethicsofChinesesocietyintheneweraandclarifythedevelopmentdirectionofourcountry'smarriageethics.Second,itistherequirementtoachievegenderequalityandsocialjustice.Thestatusofbothhusbandandwifeinthefieldofmarriageandfamilyisanimportantpartofmarriageethics.Everyevolutionofmaritalethicsisaccompaniedbyimportantchangesinthestatusofwomen'sfamilies.Socialistmarriageethicsadvocatestheimprovementofwomen'sfamilystatus.However,duetovariousreasons,therearestillvariousexplicitandimplicitgenderdiscriminationintoday'ssociety.Sincethereformandopeningup,moralmisconductinthefieldofmarriagehasharmedtheinterestsofthisvulnerablegroupofwomeninsocietyandthefamily,andthefairnessandjusticeofsocietyhavebeendestroyed.Throughthecombingofmarriageethics,thispaperraisespeople'sconcernabouttheequalityofwomen'sfamilies.1.2ResearchStatusSincethe1920sand1930s,Chineseacademiccircleshavestudiedthehistoryofmarriageandthehistoryofmarriagesystem.Forexample,ChenGuyuan’sTheHistoryofChineseMarriageandLuChengzhi'sSmallHistoryofChineseMarriageSystem.ChenGuyuan’sHistoryofChineseMarriagepointedout:"Marriageisoneofthesocialphenomena,anditisoneofthelegalphenomena."Therefore,themarriagehistoryhasbeenobservedfrombothasocialperspectiveandalegalperspective.AcomparativestudyofChineseandWesternfamilyethicswasaccompaniedbytheintroductionofWesternculture.Asearlyasthelate19thcentury,WesternfamilytheorywasgraduallyintroducedtoChina.KangYouwei's"Datongshu"designedacompletemarriageequalityplanbasedonthetheoryofequalitybetweenmenandwomen.DuringtheMayFourthperiod,marriageandfamilybecamethesubjectofdiscussionbythinkersofthatperiod.Traditionalfamilyethicswereviolentlyimpacted,andWesternfamilyconceptsbegantobeacceptedbysomepeople.AfterthefoundingofthePeople'sRepublicofChina,China'sresearchonChineseandforeignmarriageandfamilyethicshasbecomeincreasinglyrich.MengChensaidinthebookComparingChineseandWesternFamilies:"Theauthorusesthefamily'sdevelopmentstageandlogicalprocessastheverticalaxis,andthecomparativestudyoftheChineseandWesternasthehorizontalaxistoshowtheChineseandWesternfamiliesatdifferenthistoricalstagesoffamilyevolution.Similaritiesanddifferences."Atthesametime,theworkonintroducingthedifferencesbetweenmarriageandfamilyinChinaandtheUnitedStatesisalsogrowing.Forexample,YuanYayustatedinthebook"ModernMarriageandFamilyinChineseandAmericanCities"thatthemarriagesandfamiliesinthecitiesofChinaandtheUnitedStatesarebasedonthepre-marriagestageofcommunication,thestageofmarriageandtheproblemsfacedinthemarriageprocess.（ElizabethFreeman，2002：P57）Inthebook,theauthor'sdefinitionofmodernmarriage"isbasedonthefreedomofmarriageanddivorceandthegreatequalityoffamilymembersbasedontheindependenceofbothmenandwomen,whichleadstothewaningandpatriarchaldegenerationanddisintegration."Inthejournalarticles,thereareXiaoDujuan'sComparativeStudyofMarriageValuesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStatesandGuiJiaxuan'sComparativeStudyofChineseandAmericanFamilyMarriageandLoveViews.TheauthoroftheComparativeStudyofMarriageValuesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStatesbelievesthatChina'smarriagevaluesarecollectivist,whiletheUnitedStatesisanindividualisticmarriagevalue.HeMinjing'smaster'sthesisComparativeStudyofChina-USMarriageRegistrationSystemexplainsthemarriageregistrationsystembetweenChinaandtheUnitedStatesfromtheaspectsofmarriageregistrationsystemanddivorceregistrationsystem,andputsforwardtheenlightenmentoftheUSmarriageregistrationsystemtotheChinesemarriageregistrationsystem.TheComparativeStudyofCulturalValuesReflectedinSino-USMarriageAdvertisementsbelievesthatChina'smarriagevaluesarefamily-oriented,andAmericanmarriagevaluesarepersonallyoriented.1.3ResearchcontentThispaperinterpretstheconceptandessenceofmarriagefromatheoreticalperspective,comparesthedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanmarriageviews,andanalyzesthereasonsforthedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanmarriageviews,andexplorestheimpactofdifferentmarriageviewsoncountriesinordertotargetpeopletowomen.Concernsabouttheequalstatusofthefamily.OverviewofMarriageEthics2.1TheconceptofmarriageChineseanthropologistsbelievethatthecontentofmarriage"isasociallyrecognizedcombinationofsexandeconomyestablishedbetweentwoormoremenandwomen,legalizingtheoffspringtheyproduce,andbeingaffirmedbetweenhusbandandwife.MutualrightsAndobligations."Sociologistsunderstandmarriagefromtheperspectiveofthesocialsignificanceofmarriage,andconcludethatmarriagehasthefollowingcharacteristics:therelationshipbetweenthetwosexesisbasedonlove;forthepurposeoflong-term;thesocialenterpriseisrecognizedasanecessaryconditionformarriage.（ElizabethFreeman，2002：P66-67）Thedefinitionofmarriageinthispaperis:twomenandwomenlivetogetherinthenameofhusbandandwife,formingasocialgroupandanormativerelationshipatthattime,withspecificrightsandobligations.Marriageisaformofsocialrelationsbasedontheintegrationofsexuallifebetweenthetwosexes.2.2ThenatureofmarriageDifferentdoctrineshavedifferentstudiesonthenatureofmarriage.Accordingtothecontract,marriageisamanandawomanwhomaximizetheirinterests,volunteereachotherandmaintainthisrelationshipforlife,providingphysiologicalsatisfaction,lifecooperationandfinancialassistance,andachild-bearingcontract.Althoughthisexpressionexpressesthepursuitofmarriageautonomy,itdoesnotpayattentiontotheemotionalfactorsofmenandwomeninmarriageconclusion.Accordingtotheidentityrelationship,themarriagerelationshipactuallyhastherightsandobligationsofthepropertyandthepersoninthemarriage.Thisrelationshipislegalandnottheresultofthecontractbetweenthetwoparties.Theidentityrelationshipemphasizesthelegitimacyofthemarriage,butignorestheperson.Theinfluenceofsubjectivityandsubjectivefactors.Marriageethicsbelievesthatmarriagecontracttheorymakesmarriagebecomevulgar,marriageshouldbeanethicalentity,onlylegalprovisionscanmakeethicalentitieshavelegalbenefits,marriagehaslegalethicallove,itisrelatedtothepersonalityoftheparties.Thiskindoftheoryemphasizestheethicalandaffectivecharacteristicsofmarriagewhileaffirmingtheethicalsignificanceofmarriage,andemphasizeshumanitymorethanotherclaims.Theabovetheoryhelpsusunderstandtheessenceofmarriagewell.However,marriageisneitherasocialcontractnorasocialsystem,identityrelationshipandmarriageethics.Thecharacteristicsofmarriageshouldbeexpressedasfollows:(1)Marriageisfirstofallacombinationofphysicalandpsychologicalneedsbetweenmenandwomen,andisahumaninstinct.(2)Marriagemaintainsastablerelationshipinmanyaspects,suchaslawandsociety.(3)Theevolutionoftheformandsystemofmarriagereflectsthelevelofdevelopmentofproductivity.Thereisacloseconnectionbetweensocialandpoliticalsystems,socialculture,people'slivingstandardsandotherfactors(suchasmarriagepatternsandmaritalrelationships).Itcanbeseenthatmarriageisnotonlyabiologicalcombinationofthetwosexes,butalsoaproductofthecombinedeffectsofmorality,customs,lawsandregulations,whichisrelatedtoaspecificsocialstructure.Therefore,marriagehasnaturalandsocialattributes.Itcanbesaidthatthebiologicalattributesofmarriageareitsnaturalorigin,andthesocialattributesofmarriagereflectthefundamentalsofmarriage.Orphanscansaythatmarriageisasocialconstructionbasedonphysicalgender.TheDifferencesReflectedintheMarriageConceptbetweenChinesecultureandAmericanculture3.1TheWaysofChoosingMates3.1.1TheChineseWayofChoosingMatesFromancienttimestothepresent,themarriagemateselectioninChinaistherightthingtodo.Theeldersoftheancientfamilywillconsidereachother'slife,background,cultivationandconductwhentheychoosetherightparentsfortheirchildren,andtheywillpaymoreattentiontotheeightcharacters.Ofcourse,ancientmarriagesalsopayattentiontothewordsoftheparents.Inancienttimes,manywomendidnotseetheirhusbandswhentheyweremarried.Theyalllistenedtotheirparents.Nowadays,withtheprogressofreformandopeningup,menandwomeninChinafinallyhavetobesoconstrainedthattheycanchoosethepeopletheylike.However,theelderswhoweredeeplyinfluencedbyfeudalideasstilllikedtointerveneinthemarriageconceptoftheirchildren.UntilmodernChina,therearestillmanymenandwomenwhohavefailedtotrulyliberatemarriage.Iftwopeoplewholoveeachotherwanttocometogether,theymustfirstgetsupportfromtheirparentsandtheywillberecognized.Otherwise,therewillbenoguaranteeoflife.Ifthelivingconditionsofthetwofamiliesareverydifferent,thentheywillfacethedesperationofbreakingup.Intoday'ssociety,withtherapiddevelopmentoftheeconomy,thestatusofwomenhasalsoimproved.Inancienttimes,womenshouldpayattentiontothreefromfourvirtues,andtodaygirlsarefreeandequal.Withthedevelopmentofthetrendofthesociety,thecity'shousingpricesarebecomingmoreandmoreexpensive.Manypeoplearerushingtobuyironforthehousetoplanforthefutureoftheirchildren.AlongwiththeimbalancebetweenthemaleandfemaleinChina,thebridepriceisalsorising.Whenmarryingawomaninthecountryside,shewilltalktoherparentsinadvanceaboutthebrideprice.Onlywhenthebridepriceisnegotiated,willthetwosidesfurtherdevelop.Thebridepriceincludesthreegoldandmorethan100,000yuan.Ofcourse,thebridepriceisonlyasecondarycondition.Thebride'sparentswillalsoaskthesouthernparentstobuyahousetobuyacar.Onlyiftheyhaveallofthem,cantheyhavethepossibilitytomarry.Today'smarriageisfullofthedecayandprofitofmoney.Undertheconditionsofthiskindofmoney,manyyoungcouplescouldnotwithstandthehardshipsoflifeandwenttobreakup.3.1.2TheAmericanWayofChoosingMatesIntheUnitedStates,menandwomenmarry,donotregardthehouse,passbookandfamilypropertyasthemostimportantthing,aslongasthetwoloveeachother,wanttogetmarried,therentalwillbeclosed.IntheUnitedStates,peoplewhobuyandrenthomesarehalfofeachotherforalongtime.Thetwoworktogetherandsharethesamepain.Finally,bread,houseandcarwillhaveit.Perhapsbecauseofthestabilityofdemocracy,Americansseemtobebornwithconfidenceandoptimism.IntheeyesoftheChinese,theUnitedStatesisacountryrichinmaterialresources.Diet,lifeandsexaredefinitelyimportantfactorsinmarriage.ThereareChinesepeoplewhoplayfullycomparethemarriagebetweenChinaandtheUnitedStates:Chinesewomenthinkthattheyshouldseizetheheartoftheirhusbands,firstgrabtheirhusband’sstomach,andeatanddrinkfortheirhusbandsathome.Theman’sheartwillnotbeAmericanwomen’smindtoseizetheman’sheart.Graspingaman'ssex,aslongasthewomanissexy,shecangraspthehusband'sheart,themorefrequentthesexlife,themoresatisfiedthemanis.However,aUSmarriagesurveyin2017showedthatsexisonly3%ofwhatisconsideredtobethemostimportantfactorinasuccessfulmarriage.Inasocietyconsideredtobe“sexuallyopen,”Americansplace“sex”attheendoftheimportantfactorsofsuccessfulmarriage,butput“respect”and“trust”attheforefront.AmarriageexpertintheUnitedStateswrotethat“marriagewasdestroyedindetail.”Manyfamiliescollapsedbecausetheydidnot“respect”orignoreeachother’sfeelingsandothersmallthingsinlife,sothedetailsweredescribedas“devils”.Thearticlequotedseveralmenandwomendivorced,justbecausemenarenotusedtodoinghousework,womenusedtoeatsnacksinbed;therearemorereasonstobe"exaggerated",justbecausetomatoesarefried,womeninsistoneatingsalt,meninsistonsugar,theresultEverytimeyoucookthisdish,youwillhaveabigfight.Expertssaythattheachievementofloveisthedetails,andthedestructionofmarriageisoftenthedetails.Therefore,Americansput"respect"firstinthesuccessfulmarriageandcausedconcern.Thereal"Iamwilling"isaninvaluable"trust"thatisvaluedbyAmericans.In2018,Americanopinionpollsshowedthattheproportionofmenwhowouldbemarriedtoeachotherinthenextgenerationwashigherthanthatofwomen,96%forhusbandsand84%forwives.Inaddition,whenitcomesto"loveatfirstsight,"morementhanwomen,47%ofmenand44%ofwomen.Ofcourse,mostpeople(60%)saidthattheydidn'tfallinlovewitheachotheratfirstsight,buttheyunderstoodeachotherandtrustwasimpressedbythetruthbeforeagreeingtostepintothemarriagehallandsaying"Iamwilling"duringthewedding.3.2TheAttitudeTowardMarriage3.2.1TheChineseAttitudeTowardMarriageAftertheMay4thMovement,alargenumberofintellectualyouthsatthattimetookflightembezzlementanddivorceasarevolutionagainstfeudalismandcounter-representation.Thetraditionalmarriagepatternof"thelifeoftheparents,thewordsofthematchmaker"isgreatlychallenged.Onthesurface,thisphenomenonseemstoconfirmtheoldsaying:thelong-termmustbecombined,andthemarriageandloveinChinaseemtobeone.ZhangAiling'sshortstory,"TheMayFourthRelics,detailsthetypicalMayFourthYouthMarriageStory:themaleandfemaleprotagonistshaveaprivatelifeforeachother,andthemanalreadyhasawife."Thisisacommonproblemformenatthetime.Almosteveryonehasnotheardityet.Aftertheterm"love",Ihavealreadybeenmarriedandhavechildren.InChinaatthattime,lovewasanewexperience,andonlythispointwasalreadyenough."Themanaskedhiswifeforadivorce.Fortheoldwoman,"thatThesituationisunbearable,asifajudgewassleepingonabedwiththecriminalhesentencedtodeath.Nomatterhowhedefendedhimself,sheknewthathewassentencedtoherlifelongwidowhoodandwasnothonorablewidowhood."LongdivorceAftertheendofthewar,themaleandfemaleprotagonistsfinallygottogether.Soon,themanfoundoutthattheavatardisappeared."Whentherewasnohand,shewaslyinginbedathome,lickingtheseeds,andtheclothesweretoolazytochange,theoldgowns,Therobeforkisnottornapart.WhenIgoout,IstillweartheclotheswhenIamabride.Itisredandgreen,butitismoreyellow.Romthinksheissimplyadifferentperson."Thatistheendofthestoryisalreadynominallymonogamoussociety,mengetbackhisex-wife,themarriagebegantolivealifeofpolygamyoldsociety.Theironyofthisistheuniqueproductofthatera,ortheinevitableresultoftheentireChinesemarriageandlovesociety.Themaleprotagonistthinksthatmarryingtheobjectoflovewillinevitablybebetterthanthetraditionalblindmarriage.Butrealisticallybutnakedlytoldhim:marriageandlovearestillindependent.Ofcourse,thisalsoreflectstheattitudeoftheentireChinesesocietytowardsmarriage.Chinesepeoplearetoorelaxedintheirmarriedlife.Couplesaremorelikefamilymemberswithoutblood.Toomanypeopleinthesiegearepresentedinmarriageandintheabovenovels.Theheroineisthesame.Therecanbefamilyandfriendshipinmarriage,butonlyforgetaboutlove.Intoday'ssociety,manyunmarriedmenandwomenadvocatetheideathattheyaremarriedforlove.Regardlessofthecombination,thethingsinthebonesremainunchanged.Theblinddateprogram,thepopularityofthedatingwebsiteisenoughtoshowthatintheseplaces,height,education,appearance,family,economicconditionsarethebasisofmarriagechoice.whatislove?TheChinesehaveneverhadtheenergytounderstand,butwhatismarriage?TheChineseareveryclear.Thetraditionof"malemarriage,femalemarriage"stillexiststoday.Anythinginvolvingmarriageisnotamatteroftwopeopleofbothmenandwomen,butamatteroftwofamilies.TheChinesestillimaginetheperfectmarriage:theoldmanisold.Asforhowto"getold"isnotimportant,whetheritisrespectfullike"ice"ormutualenemies,theendingisstillworthyofpraise.Thisiswhy,like"GoldenMarriage",theTVseriesthatpromotedmarriageforalongtimeisstillpopularinChinatoday.Lovecanbespentbeforethemoon,butthemarriagemustbericeandoil,inthewordsoftheoldergeneration,thisiscalledlife.Chinesepeoplehavealwaysdividedloveandmarriage.3.2.2TheAmericansAttitudeTowardsMarriageNomatterwhatsociety,therewillbebasicmoralvalues.Aslongaspeoplelive,aslongastheylive,theymustbeboundbysocialethicsandlegalnorms.Therefore,moralityisthelawthatthepeopleofsocietyshouldabideby.Thesocialmoralityformedandobeyedbydifferentsocialgroupsisalsoanindicatorforobservingsocialtrends.IntheUSpublicopinionsurvey,upto93%ofrespondentsbelievethatmarriedmenandwomenarethemostunethical,andonly6%ofthemcanmorallyacceptmaritalstatus.Americansbelievethatthemostunethicalthingsaresecondary.Amanhasmorethanonewife(iepolygamy),91%ofrespondentsbelievethatpolygamyisimmoral,andamorallyacceptablepolygamousmaleis8%.Fromanotherperspective,Chinesemenarepolygamous,whileAmericanmenpursuelove.Bothmenandwomencandivorceandremarriageiftheyarenotsuitable,eveniftheyare80yearsold.Westernersseemtospendtheirlivesinloveandbeingloved.WhattheAmericansadmireisequalitybetweenmenandwomen.Oncethetwosidesaremarried,thehusbandwillalsohelpthewifetodohousework,andthehusbandwillstayathometotakethechildren.Americansbelievethatextramaritalaffairsisthemostunethicalthing,althoughtheUSattitudetowardsexhasalwaysbeenopen.AlthoughAmericansareveryopentosex,theyalsohavewatersheds.Whenyouareinlove,youcanplaycasually,casually,whoyouplaywith,whoyouarewith,andnoonecares.Bothmenandwomencanmakefriendscasually.Butonceamanmarriesawomanandownsafamily,thisisnotthesame.Thisisapromise.Thepromiseofmarriageformenandwomenismutualloyaltyandresponsibilitytothefamily.Therefore,whenAmericansgetmarried,theyvoluntarilyenterthesiege.Ifsomeoneistiredinthemiddleandmissestheworldofflowersandflowers,thenhemustgothroughthedivorceprocess,otherwisehewillpayforhisderailment.IntheUnitedStates,bothmenandwomen,especiallywomen,havezerotoleranceforderailedmen.Anyonewhohassexwithanyotherpartywilleventuallydivorce,sotheAmericandivorcerateissohigh.Americanwomenarenotafraidofdivorce.Theydaretodivorce,butmostofthemaremale.Divorceiseconomicallyverybeneficialforwomen.Themorewealthypeopleareafraidofdivorce,becausedivorcewilltakeawaytheirgeneralproperty,somanytimesdivorcebecomesa"flowercollection"forwomentodealwiththeman.3.3TheWeddingCeremony3.3.1ChineseWeddingThetraditionalChineseweddingisalwaysfulloffestivered,meaningauspiciousandhappy.EvenweddingcustomsreflectthetraditionofChinesephilosophy.TheChineseregardredasthesymbolicmeaningofhappiness,success,luck,faithandgrowth.Chinesepeoplelikeredfromtheworshipofthesun.IntraditionalChineseweddings,theredhijab,theredcottonplaque,theredhi-hatspostedeverywhere,thebrideiswearingaredjacket.Theweddingshowstheharmonybetweennatureandpeople.Theredauspiciousitemsnotonlybringafestiveatmosphere,butalsoindicatethatthebrideandgroom'sfuturelifeisbooming.Marriageisnotonlyamergerofhusbandandwifebutalsoamergeroftwofamilies.Therefore,theweddingshouldbeblessedbyfriendsandfamily.Invitingrelativesandfriendstoattendaweddingsymbolizestheformandrelationshipbetweenpeople.Duringthemarriage,thetwofamiliesbecamein-laws.Theceremonyreflectstheimportanceofparentsandfamilystatus.Aftertheceremony,thebrideandgroomusuallyoffermoneyandfoodtotheirancestors.Theancestorsacceptedthegiftwhentheflameconsumedtheproductaccompaniedbythefirecracker.Thesoundoftheinstrumentsintheweddingisusuallyloudtoexpresspeople'svoices.Thesoundshouldbelargeenoughfortheancestorstoknow,whichalsoprovestheimportanceofmarriage.Thefoodthebrideeatsisculturallysignificantintraditionalweddings;thebrideusuallyhasreddates,peanuts,longanandmelonseeds.ThemeaningoftheChinesepronunciationofthesefourfoodsisobvious.Whenthesefoodsarecombined,itsoundslike"earlybirth."3.3.2AmericanWeddingCeremonyItallstartswithparticipation.Traditionally,ayoungmanaskedhisfather'sfathertoallowhertomarryher.Ifthefatheragreed,themanlaterproposedtoher.Althoughmostweddingsfollowalong-standingtradition,thereisstillroomforAmericanindividualism.Forexample,theusualplaceforaweddingisinachurch.Butsomepeoplemarryoutsideinthescenicarea.Americanmarriagesaresometimesfullofexcitementandthrills.Somepeopleevenholdceremonieswhentheyareparachutingorriding.Thecouplemayinvitehundredsorafewclosefriends.Theychoosetheirowncolors,decorationsandmusicalstylesduringtheceremony.Butsomethingsrarelychange.Thebrideusuallywearsabeautifullongwhiteweddingdress.Shetraditionallywore"oldthings,newthings,borrowedthingsandbluethings."Thegroomworeaformalsuitortuxedo.Severalclosefriendsattendedtheceremonyasguests,includingthebestmanandbridesmaid.Whentheweddingmusicsounded,thebridegroomwenttothebride.Thebridegroomtookthebridefromthebride'sfather'shandandwalkedthroughthemarriagehall.Thetwostoodonthestagetogether,facingtheguests.Whenthepastorreadthemarriageeulogy,theyoungcouplewasThepriest’stestimonyexchangesringsandpromisesvowsoflove.Traditionally,theypromisedtoloveeachother"inordertobebetter,worse,tobericher,poorer,indiseaseandhealth."Finallythepastorannouncedtheirimportantmoment:"Inowdeclarethatyouareamanandawife.YoucankissYourbride!"Aftertheweddingvowswereread,theybegantocuttheweddingcakeandbiteeachother.Thetwomenpouredchampagneonthewineglasstower.Thewholeprocesswasfulloflove.Guestscanenjoythecakewhileenjoyingthefood.Finally,thebridethrewherbouquettoagroupofsinglegirls.Singlegirlswillbeexcitedtogrababouquet,anditissaidthattheluckygirlwhograbsthebouquetwillbethenextpersontomarry.3.4TheAttitudeTowardDivorce3.4.1ChineseAttitudeTowardDivorceWiththedevelopmentoftheeconomy,moreandmorepeoplehavefoundtheirplaceinsocietyandhavetheirownbusiness.Duetothepressureofsocialcompetition,thecommunicationtimebetweenhusbandandwifeseemstobelessandless.Dayafterday,theirrelationshipisgraduallyalienated.Inaddition,undertheinfluenceofWesternculture,theyeventuallyinevitablypartedways.Therefore,thedivorcerateisrising.ButfortheChinese,oncetheygetmarried,theywilltideoverthedifficultiesandtheirlovewillalwaysexist.Chinaisahumanesocietywherehumanityiswarm.Inadditiontowork,peoplecanmakeanappointmentwiththeirtwoorthreefriendstogotoateahouseorcafe,chatanddrink,howhappyandemotionaltheyare.Whentheyhavehappythings,theyarehappytogether.Onthecontrary,whe