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第二部分读后续写一、感悟真题(2024·浙江1月高考)
Evaspentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeepherheadabovewater.Oneofthemajorheadachesforherwasfindingherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding.Itwasasix-storybuilding.Oneachfloor,hallwaysstretchedinfourdirections,leadingtoclassrooms,laboratories,andteachers’offices.Somewhereinthebuilding,therewasalsoalibrary,acafeteria,andagym.Havingapoorsenseofdirection,Evafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.Allthedifferenthallwaysandroomsweretoomuchtothinkabout,letalonecommittomemory.Shedecidedthatshewouldmemorizewhereherclasseswereandthenpretendthattherestoftheplacedidn’texist.InherfirstP.E.class,EvawasshockedwhenCoachPittannouncedthateveryonehadtorunonemilearoundthetrackoutside.Shesearchedthefacesofherclassmatesforsignsofpanic.Therewasnothingshefearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.ToEva,“amile”wasusedtodescribelongdistances.Itwastenmilesfromherhometohergrandfather’s,andthatalwaysseemedlikealongway,eveninacar!WhenCoachPittblewhiswhistle(哨子),Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust.However,whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead,othersactuallyfellbehind.“It’sjustthebeginning,”shethought.“I’llcomeinlastforsure.”SoonEvabegantobreathehard,withherheartpoundingandlegsshaking.Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusingamindtrickonherself.Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword“mile”.Instead,shefocusedonreachingtheshadowcastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thensheconcentratedonjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐弯).Afterthat,shetriedtoseeifshecouldcompleteherfirstlap.Onelapturnedintotwo,thenthree,thenfour.注意:续写词数应为150个左右。
WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【阅读文本分析】1.故事情节:高中开学第一周Eva努力不陷入困境:因为方向感差,在六层楼的教学大楼里记不住教室、实验室、老师办公室、图书馆、食堂和运动馆。第一堂体育课,教练Pitt要求每人必须围绕跑道完成一英里跑。Eva猜测她会落后。在她感到绝望之际,Eva开始使用mindtrick策略,停止想“mile”,转而聚焦每一个小标志,就这样完成第一圈。由一圈到二、三、四圈。2.文本语料:(1)情感描写①Evaspentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeep
her
head
above
water(避免陷入困境).②Havingapoorsenseofdirection,Evafounditimpossible
to
get
aroundinsuchahugebuilding.③...letalonecommittomemory更别说记忆了④Evawas
shockedwhenCoachPittannouncedthat...⑤Therewasnothing
she
fearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.⑥Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusingamindtrickonherself.⑦WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishline,Evawas
surprised.(2)动作描写①Shesearched
the
faces
of
her
classmatesforsignsofpanic.②SoonEvabegantobreathe
hard,withher
heart
pounding
and
legs
shaking.3.续写悬念:themindtrick策略的核心是什么?Eva能否适应高中生活、记住复杂的教学大楼4.故事主题:生活与学习:校园生活个人成长直面挑战超越自我5.文本结构:AStoryMountainuseamindtrick;stopthinkingabout“mile”;focusoneachspot【写作思路点拨】1.第一段开头语意思为:当Pitt教练在终点线夸赞她“真棒”的时候,Eva感到吃惊。首先要点明Eva吃惊的原因。根据阅读文本信息内容,Eva起初预测自己会落后(“amile”wasusedtodescribelongdistances;Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust;I’llcomeinlastforsure.),因此令她吃惊的内容不是完成一英里跑,而是她比很多同学更快完成。由第二段开头语可知,第一段续写要明确指出thesametrick的内涵,为第二段做铺垫,即把大目标分成一个个小目标,逐一完成。2.第二段开头语意思为:Eva决定用相同的计策来应对教学大楼。本段侧重描写Eva运用thesametrick来克服其所谓的“方向感差”的弱点,攻克教室、实验室、图书馆等地点的定位。续写的结尾可写Eva在成功熟悉教学大楼后的感悟:不同的思维模式能够创造奇迹。【高分范文】WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.Shebreathedalongsighofreliefandcomposedherselfwildlybeatingheart.“Youmanagedtodoit,”shesaidtoherselfwithaninnervoice.Sherecalled
what
she
experienced
duringthis
one-mile
march.It
wasvariousshadows,joggingpointsthat
removedherfearandsmoothedherheavybreath.ThenherclassmateswhofellbehindapproachedEva,casting
an
admiring
look
atherandasking,“Whatsupportedyouandkepttothe
last
leg
ofthemile?”“Free
your
brain
and
use
a
mind
trick.”Herclassmatesnodded
in
agreementwitheyestwinkledwithmerriment
and
appreciation.Suddenly,anideaoccurredtoEva:Whynottrythiswaytofightherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding?
Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.Shetriedagainto
explorethecampusandtestherself.Butthistime,instead
ofmemorizingeachpositionanddirection,sheremembered
somespecialsymbolsandsignsbesidetheclassrooms,theoffices,andthelibrary.Duringthe
adventure
oftheschoolbuildings,manyuniquemarkswereimprintedonEva’smind.Withtimetickingby,shefoundit’s
possible
to
get
aroundinsuchahugebuildingdespite
having
a
poor
sense
of
direction.Bathedinthesunshine,Evasprangtoherfeetwithjoyintheschool.Afterthisexperience,Evacomprehendedthatthereisn’tonlyonewaytoachievethegoal.Changethethinking
strategyandemployadifferent
mindsetandthe
mind
trick
will
work
wonder!
·文本句式点评:1.词汇活用,精炼生动Free
your
brainanduseamindtrick.2.副词介词修饰,彰显外功Herclassmatesnoddedinagreementwitheyestwinkledwith
merriment
and
appreciation.“Youmanagedtodoit,”shesaidtoherselfwith
an
inner
voice.Butthistime,instead
of
memorizingeachpositionanddirection,sheremembered...shefoundit’spossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuildingdespite
having
a
poor
sense
of
direction.3.高级句型:无灵主语,有灵谓语动词Suddenly,an
idea
occurredtoEva:Whynottrythiswaytofightherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding?...employadifferentmindsetandthe
mind
trick
will
work
wonder!4.高级句式(1)强调句型It
wasvariousshadows,joggingpointsthat
removedherfearandsmoothedherheavybreath.
(2)部分否定Afterthisexperience,Evacomprehendedthatthereisn’t
onlyonewaytoachievethegoal.(3)with结构With
time
ticking
by,shefoundit’spossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding...5.分词作状语Bathed
in
the
sunshine,Evasprangtoherfeetwithjoyintheschool.ThenherclassmateswhofellbehindapproachedEva,casting
an
admiring
look
atherandasking...6.定语从句Thenherclassmateswho
fell
behindapproachedEva...7.名词性从句Sherecalledwhat
she
experiencedduringthisone-milemarch.Afterthisexperience,Evacomprehendedthat
there
isn’t
only
one
way
to
achieve
the
goal.8.修辞手法(1)暗喻Duringthe
adventure
oftheschoolbuildings,manyuniquemarkswereimprintedonEva’smind.(2)头韵Changethethinkingstrategyandemployadifferentmindsetandthemindtrickwill
work
wonder!9.动作链,细腻精准Shebreathed
a
long
sigh
ofreliefandcomposed
herselfwildlybeatingheart.Itwasvariousshadows,joggingpointsthatremoved
her
fearandsmoothed
her
heavy
breath.10.内容呼应themindtrickone-milemarchtheclassrooms,theoffices,andthelibraryapoorsenseofdirectiongetaroundinsuchahugebuildingfear【下水作文】WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.Never
in
her
wildest
dream
had
she
ever
anticipatedcompletingsuchanimpossible
task.Puffing
and
panting,shewasevenmoredelightedwhenshewheeledherselfaroundtoseeherclassmatesfallingfarbehind.Awaveofachievementmingledwithexcitementsurgedoverher.Neitherwassheleft
in
the
dust,norwassheat
the
end
of
the
group.Her
mind
trick
seemed
to
have
worked!Breakingdownthechallengingtaskintosmalleronesmadeiteasierandhelpedhermaintainfocus.Asshethoughtaboutit,unknowingly,shefoundherself
near
the
school
building.Gazingatit,shewaslitup
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