高三书面表达之围绕要点扩充细节.ppt

金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 集宁一中，韩秀慧 金太阳教育 高三书面表达 2 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 3 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 书面 表达 审 抓 组 扩 连 抄 4 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 上节作文回顾 假如今年暑假你在乡下度过了一个有意义的假 期，请根据以下要点下一篇短文，介绍你的暑 假生活。 1. 帮助祖父母干农活； 2. 有时去村西的小河游泳； 3. 帮助邻里的孩子补习英语。 词数100左右；可适当补充细节以使行文连贯。 5 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 学生习作 This summer holiday, I spent a meaningful holiday in my grandparents. First of all, I helped my grandparents to do farm work. Sometimes, I went swimming in the river west of the village. I also spent some time helping neighbors children learn English. So I have a meaningful summer holiday. 6 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 学生习作 I had an unforgettable holiday this summer. First, I helped my grandparents with work in the field. It left a deep impression on me. At the same time, I realized that the farmers are hard. Sometimes, we went swimming in the river to the west of the village, and we caught a lot of fish. Suddenly, the dark clouds gathered and it rained heavily. We hurriedly ran up to our house. Although we were wet through, we still enjoyed ourselves. Then, I also helped neighbors children with English . I believe this is the best holiday of mine. 7 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 学生习作 This summer holiday, I spent a meaningful holiday in my grandparents. First of all, I helped my grandparents to do farm work. Sometimes, I went swimming in the river west of the village. I also spent some time helping neighbors children learn English. So I have a meaningful summer holiday. 要点齐全，语言正确，51字 8 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 学生习作 I had an unforgettable holiday this summer. First, I helped my grandparents with work in the field. It left a deep impression on me. At the same time, I realized that the farmers are hard. Sometimes, we went swimming in the river to the west of the village, and we caught a lot of fish. Suddenly, the dark clouds gathered and it rained heavily. We hurriedly ran up to our house. Although we were wet through, we still enjoyed ourselves. Then, I also helped neighbors children with English . I believe this is the best holiday of mine. 要点齐全，语言基本正确，102字，但偏离要点 9 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 书面表达六步法： 1 认真审题，看好提示 2 抓内容要点 3 组词成句子 4 适当扩充细节： 增加地点 增加时间 发散思维 5 连接成文 6 抄写 10 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 4 适当增加细节： 增加时间 e.g. 外出购物 Im going out shopping . Im going out shopping, and wont be back until about 5:00 pm. 增加地点 e.g.替房东还书 I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return. I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return to the City Library. 发散思维? 11 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 12 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! I like sports very much, 方法一 列举具体的实例来补充说明 e.g.1: 我喜欢体育运动 such as basketball and football. 13 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.2: 青少年应尽我们所能保护环境拯救地球 We teenagers should do what we can to protect the environment and save the earth. For example, we can use recyclable bags instead of plastic bags, refuse to use single-use products, plant more trees and save water and energy. 14 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! After supper, the man went to his bedroom. After a rich meal, the fat man slowly made his way to his bedroom. e.g.1：晚饭后，这个男的走向卧室 神态、动作 方法二 添加与所给信息有关的神态、动作、心理 描写及背景渲染等内容 15 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.2：有时去村西的小河游泳 拓展：河水非常清澈 背景渲染 I went swimming in the river west of the village now and then. The water in the river was very clear. 16 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! I found some bad behavior. e.g.3：我看到了一些不良行为。 I was quite disappointed to find some bad behavior. 心理 17 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.1 Tracy 来电话留言：咖啡屋（Bolton Coffee）见面取消 。 拓展：因为她有重要的事情处理。 原因 as she has something important to attend to. e.g.2：帮助邻里的孩子补习英语。 拓展：孩子们进步很快，我也受到他们父母的称赞 。 结果 To my joy, they made rapid progress and their parents thought highly of me. Tracy called, saying that she couldnt meet you at Bolton Coffee I also helped children in the neighborhood with their English lessons. 方法三 添加与所给信息有关的原因，结果，条件 ，让步，手段，目的等内容 18 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 有时去村西的小河游泳。增加条件状语 我帮助祖父母干农活。增加目的、让步状语 帮助邻里的孩子补习英语。增加手段 请扩充细节 19 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 条件 e.g.3：有时去村西的小河游泳 拓展：如果天气允许的话， If weather permitted/ Weather permitting, I went swimming in the river to the west of the village now and then. 20 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.4：我帮助祖父母干农活。 I helped my grandparents do farm work. 拓展：尽管我很累了，我还是为自己感到自豪。 Although I was very tired, I was still proud of myself. 让步 21 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.5：我帮助祖父母干农活。 I helped my grandparents do farm work 拓展：为了体验生活 in order to experience life. 目的 22 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! e.g.6：帮助邻里的孩子补习英语。 拓展：每天早上我花两个小时帮他们练听力。 I helped children in the neighborhood with their English lessons. 手段 Every morning I spent two hours helping them practise listening. 23 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 方法四 结尾发挥，写你的感受，评价，愿望 ，倡议等 Although I stood all the way home, I felt very happy for what I did. With everyones contribution, we can make our school a comfortable learning environment. I think such activities are necessary and meaningful. In addition, if she would like to learn Chinese, I will be happy to help her. 24 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 链接高考（2007全国卷 I）： 假定你是李华，希望通过外籍教师Peter 找一个英语笔友。请写一封短信，描述一 下你理想中笔友的条件，并说明为什么选 这样的笔友。具体条件包括： 1 年龄； 2 性别； 3 爱好（旅游、运动、宠物等）。 25 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 链接高考（2007全国卷 I）： I want to have a pen friend , a girl in her early twenties, and with interests similar to mine. she is someone who is interested in traveling, sports and keeping pets. 要点齐全、语言正确，32字 26 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 27 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! Task Group 1 爱好运动 Group 2 爱好旅游 Group 2 喜欢养宠物 28 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! Improve it! 爱好运动 I am a healthy boy full of energy so I like sports very much, especially outdoor activities. Whenever I have time, Ill go hiking or mountain climbing with my classmates. 29 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! Improve it! I like to seek a pen pal who is interested in travelling just like me. If possible, we can travel together or share traveling experiences in our e-mails. 爱好旅游 30 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! Improve it! I have another hobby that is keeping pets. I have kept a lovely dog named Bei Bei for 3 years. 喜欢养宠物 31 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 参考范文 Dear Peter, Im writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor. I want to have a pen friend, hopefully a girl in her early twenties, and with interests similar to mine. In my mind, she is someone who is interested in traveling, swimming, and playing table tennis. Besides, it would be better for her to have a pet dog as I have kept one at home for some time. With such a pen friend, I think I can share with her our traveling experiences, taking care of pets, or whatever we have in common. And I believe I will improve my English by doing so and learn more about her country. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, Li Hua 32 金太阳新课标资源网金太阳新课标资源网 老师都说好老师都说好! ! 能力提升请适当增加细节 Yesterday I went to the Friendship Store. I saw a foreign