跨文化交际chapter6.ppt

Chapter6:buildingrelationships,Howtogetalongwithothers,Wearefriends,CulturaldifferencesonfriendshipbetweenwesternandChinesecanbefoundinmanyaspectsofdailycommunication,includingaddressing,greetingandparting,compliments,apologies,thanks,etc.Inthefollowing,wewilllookatsomeculturaldifferentbetweenChinaandwestern.,Outline:,IntroductionCulturaldifferencesinfriendshipsFriendshipobligationsAquestionofloveTheimportanceofconnectionsSocialobligationsGivingandreceivinggifts,1.Greeting,Nicetomeetyou.,2.ComplimentsandResponseTocomplimentistopraisetheaddresseesvirtues,ability,behavior,appearance,clothing,personalityandbelongs.Appropriatecomplimentscanserveaseffectivesupplementarymeansininter-personalcommunication.WesternandChinesecultureareatpolaroppositesaboutcompliment.,Chinesearetendtoeffacethemselvesinwordsorrefuseit,althoughtheydofeelcomfortableaboutthecompliments.SomanywesternerssimplyfeelpuzzledorevenupsetwhentheirChinesefriendsrefusedtheircompliments.TheChinesepeopleregardmodestyasamostvaluablevirtue,sotheyseldomagreetothecomplimentontheirown.,Responsetocompliments,Where？Where？,Youlooksobeautiful!,Everywhere!,Oneday,achinesegirlLiuMeiwasinvitedtoheramericanfriendJackhome.Jackcookedmanykindsofdishesforher.Jack:Doyouwantmorebeef?LiuMei:Nonono!Jack:Ok.Helpyourself!,Anwesternhostess,ifsheiscomplimentedforhercookingskill,islikelytosay,”Oh,Iamsogladthatyoulikedit.Icookitespeciallyforyou.”NotsoisaChinesehostess,whowillinsteadapologizeforgivingyou“Nothing”.Theywillsay“随便作几个菜，不好吃。”IftranslatethisintoEnglishIjustmadesomedishescasuallyandtheyarenotverytasty.,3.ApologiesandResponsesIfwrongthingsaredone,theremustbeapologies.Astohowtoofferapologies,bothwesternandChinesepeoplemay“Iamsorry.”,”Iapologizefor”.Etc.ButChinesewouldliketoapologizeforthecrowdedstateoftheirdwellingsandforsmallnumbersofdishes,althoughtheroomisbigenoughandtherearemanydishes.Chinesestaythesetoexpressself-depreciationonlyoutofcourtesy,nothavingotherimplication.Butthewesternerswouldwonder,sincetheroomissolargeandtherearesomanydishes,whydotheysayso.Maybetheydonotwelcomeourvisit,theydontlikeustoeatmore.,WhenChinesecontactwithwesterners,iftheydonotknowthesedifferences,itwillleadtomisunderstanding.Thewaystorespondtoapologiesaredifferent,too.A:Oh,Imsorry.Iforgetit.B1:Itdoesntmatter.B2:Thatsallright.B2iswesterners.B1isaChineseperson.“Itdoesntmatter”isatranslationof“没关系”fromChinese,whichisacommonpatterninChinesetorespondtoapologies.IfaChineseusesthistorespondtoapologies,westernerswillthinkthatheisasharpperson,whosimplycannotforgiveaverylittlewrongthing.,3.ThanksandResponses“Thankyou”iswidelyusedinEnglishtoshowgratitudeinsuchcasesasbeinginvited,helped,givenagift,etc.CulturaldifferencesexistbetweenChineseandwesterninhowtoexpressthanksandresponses.Asamatteroffact,“Thankyou”isusedmorewidelybywesternersthanChineseuse“谢谢”,forminorfavorslikeborrowingpencil,askingdirections,requestingsomeonetopassonamessage,receivingatelephone,etc.“Thankyou”notonlyshowspolitenessbutalsocarriesapersonsgratefulfeelingforthosewhoofferhelp.Withoutusingexpressionsofgratitude,misunderstandingsmayarisebecausethehelpseemstobetakenforgrantedandismotappreciated,Thankyou,Forwesterners,eachpersonisanequalindividual,whetherheisafamilymemberofnot.InChinese,“谢谢”isnotfrequentlyusedbetweenintimatefriendsandfamilymembersbecauseitmayimplyacertaindistancebetweentheaddresserandtheaddressee.Nativespeakersmayrespondto“Thankyou”bysaying:Youarewelcome/Itsa/mypleasure/Notatall/Dontmentionit/Thatsallright.WhileChinesepeoplemaysay:“这是我应该做的”，whichmayconveytowesternersthemessagethattheChinesedidnotreallywanttodoit,orthathe/shediditonlybecauseitwashis/herduty.ThismessageisquitedifferentfromwhattheChinesespeakerintendedtoexpress.,4.AskingPersonalAffairsPeoplefromChinadonotregarditasaskingpersonalaffairswhentheyaskothersname、year、maritalstatus、wages、personallife、beliefandpoliticalpoints.Itisregardasconcerns.Whilethewesternswillthinkyouinvadetheirrightofprivacy.whenwetalktothewesterns,wemustavoidaskingsomequestionslikethis:“Howoldareyou?”、“Areyoumarried？”、“Howmanychildrendoyouhave？”、“Howmuchdoyoumake？”、“Whatsyourweight?”、“Doyougotothechurch？”,5.InvitationandSayingGood-ByeInthecultureofBritishandAmerica,itisveryimportanttoconsultatimebeforeyouinvitesomebodytoattendabanquetortakepartinsocialactivities.Esp.inAmerica,invitesomebodymeansyouareborrowtimesofothers.Sotheyrespecttimeverymuch.WhileinChina,peopleareprefertoanuninvitedguest.Andotherwise,Youwillbethoughtunfriendlyifyoucannotreceiveanuninvitedguestverywell.,2.Friendshipobligations,Iwanttogoshopping.wouldyoucomewithme?,A,B1,B2,Iamgladtogoshoppingwithyou,Iamsorry,butIcant,myschedulewillnotallowforittoday,Chineseexpectfriendshipstobemorelasting1.Chineseexpectfriendshipstostaythesameoveralongperiodoftime,verb:Oldfriendsandoldwinearethebest.(陈酒味醇，老友情深。)2.Americansarelikelytochangeeven“bestfriends”severaltimesovertheyears.(amove,graduation,marriageetc.)Birdsofafeatherflocktogether(物以类聚，人以群分）,AmericansexpectfriendstobeindependentWesternsfriendshipismostlyamatterofprovidingemotionalsupportandspendingtimetogether.ChinesefriendsgiveeachothermuchmoreconcretehelpandassistancethanWesternfriendsdo.,B1:Youshouldforgivehim.,B2:YoushouldconsidercarefullywhatmayhappenIfyoucontinuearguing.,Aisarguingwithherhusband,ChinesecanusuallyexpectmorefromtheirfriendsthanAmericanscanafriendinneedisafriendindeed患难见真情Friendshipcannotalwaysstandononeside.友谊是双方的事。/来而不往非礼也。,3.Aquestionoflove,ChineseviewonlovevsAmericanviewonloveSimilar:TheattitudesthatpeoplehaveaboutromanticrelationshipsDifference:Howandwhypeoplegetinvolvedinromanticrelationships,4.Theimportanceofconnections,Case