中西婚礼差异英文版.doc

中西婚礼差异英文版Differences Between Chinese Marriage Custom and Western Marriage CustomAbstractThere are many procedures in Chinese marriage custom. The book propriety and ceremony, which records earliest wedding ceremony, says that marriage includes six etiquettes, namely, proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal presents to the girls family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride. In western marriage, there are four procedures. They are proposal, changing surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding. As the different religions, cultural origins, marriage concepts and geographies, there are many differences existing in the two kinds of marriage customs. In Chinese marriage custom, the matchmaker functions almost all the time and youths have no right to choose and women are not on an equal footing with men. By contrast, in western marriage custom, the priest functions and the youths have legal right to choose whom they want to marry and men and women are equal. There also exist common things in the two sides. They have been maintained for thousands of years. But in recent years (especially after the founding of modern China), people have tended to discard some of the details and advocate simplified marriage procedures and wedding ceremonies.Key Words：Marriage custom; differences; reasons摘要中国婚俗有着许多的仪式。最早记载婚礼习俗的仪礼云：“婚有六礼，纳采、问名、 纳吉、纳征、请期、亲迎。”而在西方国家主要有4个程序，即建议，改姓，选期和举行婚礼。由于宗教、文化根源、婚姻观念以及地理环境的不同在一定程度上导致了中西方婚俗的不同。在中国婚俗中，媒人起着决定性的作用，而作为婚姻当事人的青年男女却没有选择的自由和权力，而且男女在婚姻中的不平等现象也屡有出现。 在西方，是牧师在婚姻中起作用，并且青年男女有合法的权力去选择自己的夫婿或妻子。当然中西方的婚俗也存在相同的地方。它们存在了上千年之久。近年来（特别是新中国成立之后），中西结合的婚姻屡有出现。关键词婚俗；差异；原因IntroductionMarriage is formed in a long historical evolution of the marriage custom in a nation. It is the regularity of the activities that restrains peoples awareness of marriage and marriage. Marriage customs binding does not depend on the law, and it can not rely on science tests neither, but on the force of habit, traditional culture and national psychology. During the development of human history, the institution of marriage and family system has experienced different processes of development. Human have experienced group marriage, the dual system of marriage and individual marriage system (monogamy).As a union of a man and a woman and a family formation stage, marriage includes not only marriage, but also the preparation phase for the marriage and the performance stage after the festivities. It runs through the whole process of life. These customs, as a national symbol and cultural development, plays a very important role in ethnic studies and the history of mankind.China is a country with an ancient civilization and a long history, and many customs. Among so many customs, there is a particular marriage custom. This custom goes through various and long stages of development from ancient simple wedding ceremony to later complex ceremony, from feudal marriage custom to the modern free marriage custom. During these courses, peoples ideas are progressing, though we can not say that their ideas are up to the top of mankinds ideas in all over the world atall over the time because there are still backward ideas existing in many places, in many peoples mind and they maybe will still exist for a long time. However, they are up to the top of mankinds ideas in a certain stage of the uninterrupted development of ideas.Greek civilization is the base of western culture. Britain plays an important role in western history and western culture, and of course marriage custom.Comparing with each other, they are different in many aspects such as in right aspect and in freedom aspect and there are many reasons that result in these differences such as cultural reason and geographical reason. I. Chinese Marriage CustomLike other folk, marriage custom has the same development and evolving process. In the early days of humanity, the human relationship in a very long period of time still carried the irregular relations like the animal world. There was no marriage at all, if suggest some, the only arbitrary marriage. In China, marriage has gone through for a long time. As a most grand etiquette, it has always been a high degree of attention. To control the marriage, the family and the whole society, since the beginning of Zhou Dynasty, Chinese marriage should comply with six procedures, which is the so-called six etiquettes. And Later in Tang and Ming Dynasty in China, marriage also complied with the six etiquettes. As time goes by, although many wedding customs experienced various changes Six etiquettes as the basic pattern has not changed much. It is still essential and core in marriage custom.Marriage has changed much today, but in many places, there still remains traditional marriage custom.In feudal society, a marriage would be decided not by the youths love, but by their parents desires. Only after a matchmakers introduction and when parents considered the two family conditions were similar and could be matched, would the marriage procedures went forward. Conditions that should be taken into consideration included wealth and social status. If a boys family was well-off or an official family, his parents would never permit him to marry a girl from a poor family. Essential to the marriage process were the commonly recognized three Letters and six etiquettes. The three letters were the betrothal letter, the gift letter with a gifts list and the wedding letter used on the day the bridegroom met his bride at her home. The book propriety and ceremony, which records earliest wedding ceremony, says that marriage, usually, involves six necessary procedures, namely, proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal present to girls family, discussing date of marriage and meeting the bride.A. Proposing:Proposing is the first etiquette in marriage and is the first meet between the members in the two families. Thus, it is very important. Using a common expression, it is making an offer of marriage to another family on behalf of the son or daughter.If the parents thought that the girl could be the daughter-in-law in old times, they would ask a matchmaker for sending the gifts and bring the son and the girl together. If the girls parents also agreed on the marriage, they would accept the gifts. People usually used a wild goose when sending the gifts. Because the wild gooses could fly to the south or the north according to the seasons and they would never change it which implied the woman would be punctual and also because when the wild gooses flied they were in a row and when they stopped they were in a line which implied that woman should comply with the marriage rules and arrange in order that one should not breach it.B. Asking the NameIt aims to ask for girls name and pray.In ancient times the girls name would not be known by other people until the girl was in an age of marriage. First, one must have the matchmaker and inform of the mans family through a card. And the mans family would lastly receipt for postal remittance. Thus it can be seen that “asking the name” not only meant that the mans family wanted to know the girls name, but also wrote down the womans birthday and Eight-characters (in four pairs denoting the time, date, month and year of a persons birth, each pair consisting of one Heavenly Stem and one Earthly Branch, used in fortune-telling). If the birthday and Eight-characters were not harm the man, the mans family would lastly receipt for postal remittance. Sometimes the womans parents also wrote down the official position of the womans great-grandpa, grandpa and father and the dowry that could be supplied. Whats interesting is that during this progress it was the matchmaker that functioned, not the mans family or the womans family. Matchmaker was also important in the other procedures. In traditional Chinese marriage, people believed “behest of the parents and proposal of a matchmaker”. Thats why many marriages in the past were arranged by parents and matchmakers. Matchmakers proposal was the marriages valid basis in Tang dynasty.It has been simplified today. Many marriage does not need this process.C. Asking for Fortune After asking the name, the bridegrooms side had got the womans birthday and Eight-Characters and they went to consult a fortune-teller then which was called “asking for fortune”. It included two aspects of contents. One was consult the female virtues. Ancient people regarded female virtues as the most important one in the gospel of three obedience that were obedience to ones father before marriage, to ones husband after marriage, and to ones son after ones husbands death and four virtues that was morality, proper speech, modest manner, and diligent work for a woman according to Confucian ethics.Zhong lichun, Zhuge Liangs wife (Zhuge Liang was a statesman and strategist in the period of the Three Kingdoms, now a symbol of wisdom in Chinese folklore) was famous for her ugliness, wisdom and high female virtues. A man in old times always had many wives. In order to solidifying and stead in the family, people paid much attention to female virtues. Hence there was the saw “Marry wife is marrying virtues and take a concubine is marrying appearance”.The other one was consult good or bad luck. If they were not fit for each other in Eight-Characters according to the birthday and whats more, the woman would harm the man, the result was that this marriage would not be held and would be cancelled. If the result was fit for each other and moreover the woman would make the man prosperous, the mans side would inform the womans side through the matchmaker and send the betrothal gifts and exchange cards. Thus the marriage was actually decided to be held.D. Sending Betrothal Presents to the Girls FamilyThe book propriety and ceremony wrote by the scholars in Han dynasty regards it as sending money. If there is no receipt of gifts, there is no marriage. Hence whether receipt the gifts or not is the implication of the agreement of the marriage by the womans side.The significance of it includes two aspects of meaning. One is the thanks for the womans parents because the parents feed up her. The other is help the womans family prepare for dowry.E. Discussing the Date of MarriageIn the past, the bridegrooms side decided the lucky day and sent the matchmaker to inform of the womans family. People paid much attention to the marriage time. They usually had a person looked at the almanac or asked for fortune. They liked having marriage in spring or autumn because spring was the time that everything comes back to life and time when spring was changing into summer and was favor to pregnant with new life; autumn was the season of harvest. After the labor for a year, people had enough money to hold the marriage.Nowadays, it is also an important event. People pay many attentions to it.F. Meeting the BrideThe marriage is finally held after the five procedures. In the past, the bridegroom wore wedding suit, riding on a horse, and guided the bridal sedan chair to marry the bride on the day. And the bride wore a red cheongsam waiting for the bridegroom. Now, the bridegroom wares western suit, and the bride wares wedding dress and usually in a car.II. Western Marriage CustomIn the middle ages children were married at a young age. Girls were as young as 12 when they got married, and boys as young as 14. The arrangement of the marriage was based on monetary worth. The family of the girl who was to be married gave a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. The dowry went with her when the marriage was held and stayed with the boy forever after the marriage. After the marriage was arranged, a wedding notice was posted on the door of the church. The notice was put up to ensure that there were no grounds for prohibiting the marriage. The notice stated who was to be married, and if anyone knew any reasons that the two could not marry, they were to come forward with the reason. If the reason was a valid one the wedding would be prohibited.There were many reasons for prohibiting a marriage. One reason was consanguinity, if the two were too closely related. If the boy or the girl had taken a monastic or religious vow, the marriage was also prohibited. Sometimes widows or widowers took vows of celibacy on the death of their spouse, and later regretted doing so when they could not remarry. Other reasons which also prohibited marriage, but were not grounds for a divorce, were rape, adultery, and incest. A couple could not be married during a time of fasting, such as lent or advent. Nor could a couple be married by someone who had killed someone.In the middle ages there were few reasons the wedding could be dissolved. One reason was if either the man or woman were not of legal age, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. If the husband or wife had previously made a religious or monastic vow or were not Christian, the marriage would be dissolved. The last reason a marriage could end was if the woman, not the man, was incapable of *ual relations.A. ProposalWhen the prospective groom had obtained his fathers consent to marry, a formal marriage proposal had to be made. The prospective groom did not propose in person but sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interest to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey, it was believed that the proposal would not be accepted as these signs were thought to bring bad luck. If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves, this was a good omen which would bring good fortune to the marriage.During Medieval times in western countries, the man proposed by leaving a hawthorn branch at the door of his beloved on the first of May. By leaving the branch at the door she accepted his proposal. She made known her refusal by replacing the hawthorn branch with a cauliflower.B. Changing SurnamesIt was thought unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers. The sentiment was summarized in the following thyme:To change the name and not the letter is to change for the worst and not the betterThe bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This was thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate.C. Choosing the DayAlthough most weddings now take place on a Saturday, it was considered unlucky in the past. Fridays were also considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme advised a wedding in the first half of the week:Monday for wealthTuesday for healthWednesday the best day of allThursday for lossesFriday for crosses (= funerals) Saturday for no luck at all Advice on which month to marry in was given by the following rhyme: Married when the year is new, hell love, kind and true.When February birds do mate, you neither wed nor dread your fate.If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both youll know.Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.Marry in the month of May, and youll surely rue the day.Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea youll go.Those who in July do wed, must labor for their daily bred.Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to seeMarry in Septembers shrine, your living will be rich and fine.If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.Marry in May and youll live to rue the dayMay had been considered an unlucky month to marry in for a number of reasons. In Pagan times the Feast of the Dead and the festival of the goddess of chastity both occurred in May. The advice was taken more seriously in Victorian times than it is today. In most Churches the end of April was a busy time for weddings as couples wanted to avoid being married in May. Queen Victoria was thought to have forbidden her children from marrying in May. June was considered to be a lucky month to marry in, because it was named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage.The summer as a whole was considered a good time to marry and this was partly to do with the suns association with fertility. In Scotland one popular custom was for the bride to walk with the sun to bring her good. She would walk from east to west on the south side of the church and then continue walking around the church three times.D. Holding the Wedding The wedding ceremony was finally held.The church ceremony in the middle ages took place outside the church door before entering the church for a nuptial mass. During the ceremony in front of the church doors the man stood on the right side and the woman stood on the left side, facing the door of the church. “The reason was that she was formed out of a rib in the left side of Adam.” The priest began by asking if anyone knew of any reason the couple should not be married. He also asked this of the man and woman so they might confess any reasons for prohibiting their marriage.The ceremony proceeded with the priest saying, “N (amen) wilt though have this woman to thy wedded wife, wilt the love her, and honor her, keep her and guard her, in health and in sickness, as a husband should a wife, and forsaking all others on account of her, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?” Then the priest, changing the wording of “as a husband should a wife”, asked the same of the woman. Both the man and the woman should answer by saying” I will.” At this time the woman was given by her father. The wedding continued with the saying of vows. Both the man and the woman, with the exception of the words wife and husband, said, “I N. take thee N. to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward