试婚 材料.doc

在中国传统道德观念里，婚姻是一锤子买卖，传统观念很难接受婚前“同居”、“试婚”这类的词语，但现如今社会的年轻人开放，更多选择婚前“试婚”，毕竟终身大事还是谨慎决定比较好。试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处实践是检验真理的唯一标准，这个道理放之四海而皆准，婚姻里同样适用，在在我们旧观念里，婚姻是庄重的，最好只此一次的，怎么能试婚？但是正因为婚姻的庄重，我们婚前试一试，以确保婚后幸福无反复又何妨。现在，已经有一部分人在试婚了，当然反对的声音，出现的问题依然存在，但我们不得不承认，试婚在很多方面还是有利于婚姻的。 试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处可以检验感情的真实度。恋爱时说出的爱，也许是最有感觉的，但未必是最真实的。恋爱时，男女做出的承诺，说出的爱你，很可能是在荷尔蒙的刺激下，或者是一时冲动下说出来的，往往冷静时很可能就不算数的。真爱是有保持度的，而不是昙花一现，如果试婚后，两个人生活在一起，在日复一日重复的生活后，在你看尽了对方各种状态后，你依然觉得你爱对方，那么这才算的上是真爱。试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处了解对方的生活习惯试婚可以对对方的生活习惯做个彻底的了解，看看双方的生活习惯是否相同。你是否可以接受他的小毛病，毕竟恋爱的时候，很多小毛病，你不会发现，不会了解。试婚期间，每天每时每刻在一起，除了上班期间，生活的琐碎的事情，需要二个人一起经历，或许会为了今天谁洗碗而吵架，这就是生活，如果你们可以在婚前调节好这一切，那么婚后肯定能能处理好这里的问题。 试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处可以完成婚前磨合恋爱时两个人有个恋爱磨合期，结婚后也偶个婚姻磨合期，毕竟恋爱和婚姻对人的要求都不一样。如果没有经过试婚，两个人在婚后，磨合不好，也很有可能离婚。试婚的话，生活在一起的两个人，对彼此的性情，脾气，底线都会认识得更清楚，看得更透。婚后能出现的问题基本在试婚期也会出现，如果两人磨合成功，结婚之后，就可以相处融洽的几率就比较大。双方都留有退一步选择的机会婚姻是一辈子的承诺，而且牵扯到双发家庭，法律契约等等。所以，最好能一锤定音，否则一次失败的婚姻的伤害可不仅仅是失去了一个爱人那么简单。试婚的话就避免了结婚后发现彼此不适合对方，但退步又比较困难的情况出现。结婚后不能想离就离，但是试婚却可以想分开随时分开，没有其他方面的困扰。试婚，与绝大多数夫妇唯一的区别就是不办理结婚登记手续，“试婚”这个概念，最初是由一位美国法官在本世纪初提出来的，80年代初，它随着离婚率急剧上升和西方性自由等观念一起流入中国，逐渐成为一些新潮男女的“试验品”。 试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处检验性生活是否和谐现在很多离婚的案例中，很多人都是以性生活不和谐而告终。性生活在婚姻生活中，起得很重要的作用。绝大多数夫妻都会感觉到他们性生活确实存在着某种缺陷或不足。婚前的试婚，可以检验双方是否在性生活上和谐，如果可以，那么没问题，如果出现问题，可以及时调试解决，如果实在不行，一拍两散也不影响什么，但是结婚之后，一切就没这么容易了。提升双方的心理成熟度试婚的过程也是双方在模拟婚后生活，是走向成人的一个过程。很多人谈对象、娶媳妇，但他还不是真正意义上的社会人，还不能算成人，而试婚的过程是走向成人的过程，所以，过成人节就不如过试婚节。 试试又何妨？婚前试婚的各类好处验证对方是否有婚姻观念婚姻是一辈子的事情，日子是要二个人过日子的，首先要学会顾家，其次是体贴人，照顾人，以后的日子不是一个人，是二个人支撑着一个家，而这些，在试婚过程中都能体现，女的最怕嫁错郎，试婚途中，能知道一个人是否有婚姻观念，是否能担起婚姻的责任。女性解放的进步试婚还有一条好处，这是妇女解放的重要标识。旧观念里，女人在婚前要保持操守，不能有婚前性行为，不能婚前同居，如果有过这些经历，就是不纯洁的了。试婚让女性的这些观念都得到了解放，女人也可以像男人一样，不受道德的约束，更加真实地去活出自己的价值，在婚姻选择中，和男人有了同样的权利。所以，在全民族鼓励男女平等的同时，也应该鼓励男女试婚。婚前试婚婚外恋情 这个时代离婚也成了一种时尚2010年02月01日11:28千龙网 时代真是不同了，有人居然申请开办“离婚公司”！由此可见婚姻已经多么不堪一击。有人甚至说，日益增长的离婚率已经成为都市生活的象征。许许多多男人女人在婚姻的危险线上徘徊、挣扎，有的重归于好，有的开始新生活。尽管终要归于平静，可他们事后想起，都会觉得那是一段比幸福更刻骨铭心的感受美妙的婚姻一旦陷入危机，对于男女当事人来说绝对是一件悲惨的事情。因此靠离婚服务来获得商业利益总让人觉得有些趁人之危。但是我们应该庆幸，这种行业的出现标志着观念的进步。被称为“终身大事”的婚姻终于抛开了神秘的面纱，走下神坛，成为一件可以咨询、可以科学操作从而健康运行或是顺利结束的事情。人们开始意识到：原来婚姻也和那些普通的有机物没什么区别，也可能生毛病。有了毛病就要看病，经过医生们的治疗，它或者可以恢复健康，重新焕发生机；或者确实烂到底了，那就干脆来个外科手术，彻彻底底地将之切除干净！丧失自我：悲剧的开始我是在大学里认识我丈夫的，我们很快就投入了热恋。毕业时本来我要考研，以实现一直的夙愿。可是他对我说：“咱们结婚吧，我非常需要你。”那时我认为，结婚就要做个像样的妻子，如果读研一定没有时间照顾丈夫，于是我决定放弃自己的理想，和丈夫一起筑起我们爱情的港湾。我选择了教师的职业，因为比较容易照顾家庭。刚结婚那段时间我们确实生活得很幸福。他在研究所工作，不算太忙。我们一起出去散步、听音乐会，或是在家里找几个朋友一起唱卡拉OK。我很满足，也很快乐。可是丈夫很快就不满足了，他说要趁着年轻读研究生。我说好啊，咱们一起考。就在两人紧张备考时，我怀孕了。经过再三考虑，我决定第二次放弃考试。丈夫则加倍奋发，以完成我们共同的梦。我的妊娠反应挺厉害，可他不仅没有时间照顾我，还需要我来照顾他。孩子生下来以后，我就更忙了。因为我既要工作，又要照顾孩子，还要照顾他。接送孩子、买菜、做饭、洗衣、收拾房间，我几乎承包了所有的家务。深夜里，当我看着熟睡中的宝宝，再为还在苦读的丈夫送上一杯热奶时，总是感到幸福无比。毕业后，他自己做主去了一家合资企业，并且很快被升到部门经理的位置。他应酬越来越多，经常是深夜才疲惫地回家。虽然我非常反感，但是仍然全力支持他的工作，努力扮演好贤妻良母的角色。本以为他会对我的奉献给予回报，可是我们的关系却大不如前了。他对我越来越冷漠，偶尔我主动跟他亲热，他都推托说自己累拒绝了。他总是嫌我整天不是东家长就是李家短，整个一个家庭妇女。不久，我从蛛丝马迹中发现他有了其他女人。他很坦率地对我说：“我知道我很对不起你，但我不能再欺骗你。”我问：“我有什么对不起你的地方吗？”他说：“你没有什么对不起我的地方，可是现在你整天都是那些婆婆妈妈的事，一点儿也不像过去那样有理想、有激情。”我说：“人总得有点良心吧，这些年里里外外哪一点儿不是我在支撑？如果我当时也去念书，不管这个家，你能这么顺利吗？我是为了你才做出牺牲的。”他承认我做出的牺牲，但又说牺牲和爱情是两码事。他说那女人是他的副手，也是他事业上的帮手，他们之间相互理解，非常默契。他和那个女人在一起特有激情。那天我们分居了，而且那时候到现在，我们一直在分居。他说他等着我的答复，我不知道该怎样回答他。我有一种被掏空了的感觉，好像被吊在半空中，上来下去都是死，只是死的方式不同罢了。婚前试婚：逃避的借口我其实没结过婚，我和爱人是试婚，已经长达四年了。本来这是为将来结婚做准备的，可最近，我们俩总算敢承认这样一个不容回避的事实：实际上两个人完全无法适应和习惯对方。吵架之后冷静，冷静一段又吵，我们终于决定分手。谁知道分手竟然没比人家离婚容易多少。四年的共同生活中，我们其实和夫妻没两样，除了缺少那一纸证书。我们有许多共同的朋友，两家的家长也早习惯把对方当作自己家庭中的一员。他家不在北京，逢年过节我们基本上都在我父母家度过。我爸爸爱喝酒，可家里没男孩子陪他，所以每次过节他们爷俩喝酒划拳成了家中一个保留节目。每逢此刻，我、妈妈、两个妹妹围在桌旁，一边看着他们，一边又笑又叫，场面充满了家庭的温馨。可如今，他已经好久不登我家的门了，他说当着老人的面撒谎太难。爸爸妈妈已经起了疑心，都叫我找借口搪塞过去了，也不知他们心里信不信。想起两个人曾经拥有的甜蜜日子，就觉得心里一阵空荡荡的。不知怎么就走到了今天这一步？留恋的感觉已经没有了，该流的眼泪、该说的伤人话都已经结束了。为了能尽早摆脱现在的状况，我们决定平静地分手，好合好散嘛！可面对具体事宜，实在让人平静不下来，分割财产比分割感情要难得多！这几年我们钱一起挣，东西一起买，经济上早成一体了。住的是我们俩一起供的三室一厅单元房；用的所有家具和电器也分不清到底是谁花的钱；现在他开的那辆汽车，当初说好了我买来送给他，可是后来钱不够，他又贴了不少。可他怎么说：“房子是以我的名义买的，首付款也是我出的，请你带着一半的家具走。车子给你你也不会开。”好歹也共同生活了四年吧，他怎么就这么绝情！供房每月的分期付款我都出大半，汽车虽然是两个人共同买的，可是四年来都是他在用。我不会开车并不是理由，现在学个车又有什么难的！最后还是吵到法院，结局也还算公平：房子归他，车子归我，家具一人一半，他折合成钱付给我。婚外恋情：沉重的叹息那天，我一个人跑去看一声叹息，我怀疑那就是我的故事。电影散场后，我仍沉浸在影片的氛围中，不能自拔。认识娜是在去年夏天。那时我结婚已四年，有一个两岁的漂亮女儿和贤惠善良的妻子。我肯定是爱妻子的，她就像我的亲人，我生命的一部分。但生活好像少了点什么，包括我们情感和身体交流的方式，都一成不变，我有些懒洋洋。娜是新来的大学生，不算太漂亮，但是热情、活力四射。我在工作中给了她很多帮助，我们也很谈得来。她约我出去喝茶，经常一坐就是大半天。有什么话，我宁愿跟娜说，她总是温柔而安静地倾听。我觉得温暖。这种感觉和妻子在一起已经没有了。娜也渐渐对我依恋起来。有时半天不见，她就会给我打传呼，电话接通后，她的声音明显很快活。虽然我在不断地提醒自己，这样下去很危险，但情不自禁。两个月后，我们跨过了男女间的那条线，她说：“我不想破坏你的家，我只是没办法不爱你。”我们想尽一切办法幽会和偷欢。娜对我十分依赖，每次离开她的小屋时，她都眼巴巴地望着我，几乎是哀求我：能不能陪我一夜？我只能摇头。想像着她孤独无助的样子，心疼得厉害。如果不是我，她也会恋爱、结婚，过一种正常的生活，想到这些，我便感到沉重。回家越来越晚，我便对妻说是加班。妻从不多问，默默到厨房给我热饭菜。我在心里骂自己卑鄙，对她的负罪感与日俱增。妻生日那天，说好陪她出去吃晚饭。下班时，娜却突然患急性阑尾炎，要住院动手术。她的亲人都在外地，我只好留下来照料她。打电话告诉妻，说公司临时安排出差，妻半信半疑。放下电话，我突然觉得很累。娜试探过我几回，问我们怎么办？我不知道。离婚我办不到，妻和孩子是无辜；可离开娜也难。我一天天消瘦下去，妻以为是工作太操劳，对我更加关怀备至。我的负疚更深。娜对我的暧昧态度越来越不满，她不止一次地说，我们这样，算怎么一回事。我只好苦笑着安慰她，哄她。我们还为此吵过几次，从前的欢乐不复存在。挺矛盾的吧。适婚从某些方面来说确实挺好的，可以多了解对方但是同居等于什么，大家都知道吧，不可能盖被子纯聊天吧。要是两个合适了，结婚的那倒没什么，要是不合适，对于女孩子来说，名声没了，身价也掉了，以后再想找好人家就难了。原谅我思想比较保守。不认同结婚是需要勇气和冲动的同居后这都会消失当结婚变成可有可无时 还会有新婚的感觉嘛那样的婚姻太仓白了淡如水婚姻的基础是爱情，爱情的基础是互相真诚的面对对方、尊重对方。恋爱的双方如果都以一种试试看的态度，心存芥蒂的来对待彼此，只能说明他们之间根本就没有爱。爱情不是做实验，结婚也不能是试出来的结果。试想，如果两个人的感情建立在同居的过程中（你明白什么意思吧），那么和动物有什么区别呢？两个人在一起，尊重对方，同时也是尊重你自己！顺便说一下，我朋友里面有不少未婚同居的，最终能够走到一起的当然好，可分手的，受伤害最深的都是女孩，所以奉劝现在的女孩，不要拿自己的青春去赌明天。表示赞成婚前试婚（同居），因为这样可以了解一个人的生活习惯，了解缺点和优点，从而使到两人更加的和睦，相爱，彼此迁就，使得双方将来拥有一个温馨的家这就是磨合.我个人觉得没有必要试不试婚的，如果说试婚是会了让彼此更了解对方而不会为以后结婚后不了解而离婚做好准备，到不如认真想想，离婚真的是因为之前不够了解对方吗？试婚应该没有好与坏的吧，做为女生的我来讲，我是拒绝婚前同居的，不是因为怕同居后会看清对方的缺点，我觉得对方肯定有缺点的，如果没有缺点的话就不是人了吧，到不如让自己学会怎样去包容对方啊这不是更好。我之所以不赞同试婚是基于是名声问题毕竟只是男女朋友关系而不是老公老婆，除了怕外人说闲话，另外自己也是比较传统路线的人婚前同居，对于男人来讲，好处多多：一，解决了男人生理冲动；二，增加了男人对女人的认识；三，使男人对生活的理解更加深，会更努力赚钱；四，丰富了男人的生活经历，这个男人在别的女人面前更有魅力，更懂女人心；五，就算同居后爱情没有结果，男人还是没有贬值，可能日后追女人更易追成功。同居对男来说的坏处只有一个：可能会因同居后才发现这个女人不是自己的理想老婆，但可以勉强过日子，又不想太对不住这个女人，最后与其结婚，就再无缘寻找理想老婆了。婚前婚后对老婆都不满意，婚姻也会因此埋下隐患。这种情况与结果现实中存在着不少。所以，同居对男人来说，总体比没有经历过同居好。但这是一个矛盾的社会问题，同居对男来说好处多，但对女性来说坏处与好处都存在，坏处偏多一些！Well, people have different opinions about certain things and one might work good for them but not for others. If there are advantages in this trial marriage situation, more disadvantages are obviously present. Couples who have no commitment to each other, will go for trial marriage or just live-in. And if their being together will work good, then decide to get married later, but if not, they are free to look for another one. Here are common reasons of people who have been into this situation which they considered advantage for them. No expenses to worry about the wedding party. Most lovers who are overwhelmed with each others feelings and emotions, can not wait for a long time to be together. To them, saving money for wedding preparation takes a lot of effort and its a long wait. Why giving themselves a hard time when they can be together without a wedding ceremony? Since men have the bigger responsibility for the wedding expenses, they will be glad if the woman agrees to live with them without getting married. it is advantageous to the man who is not stable financially. No more problem tor him to raise money for the wedding expenses. Anyway, they can live simply as long as they are together and they love each other. No matter what the people say it doesnt matter to them. No legal problems to take care of. If couples can not get along well with each other, it is easy to separate ways anytime they want and theyre free to look for another with no legal problems to worry about. They are legally free to marry. It is that easy, and many would prefer to have this kind of life specially those who have no commitments they are sold out to this idea. For financial security reasons. If a guy is rich and willing to support a partner but has no commitment to get married, the woman who needs financial security will agree to the offer of living together just for financial reasons. No second thought of what will happen next. If her needs are supplied, it is fine with her. They have no serious commitments what soever. And this happens also to people who have average income. A man and woman agreed to live together so that they have someone to share with the bills and the rentals. They live like husband and wife but not legally married and has no commitments. Others said they are not ready yet for responsibilities. They just want to enjoy each others company. They dont want to be obligated with any responsibilities that legal couples have. This is very common to young lovers. They felt that being legally married is a big responsibility. And since they are not yet ready for that big thing, specially if they have no stable job to support a family, they will just lived-in for the mean time and decide to get married when they are ready for responsibilities. They want to learn more about each other and have better adjustments before tying the knot. This is also a common reason of those who are living-in. They want to learn more of each other. They will try if they could adjust with each others attitudes. Trial and error method and if it dont work, it is just easy to separate ways. No expenses for legal processing like divorce or annulment of marriage. They said, it is the best way for them to know if they are compatible or not so that it will not be a problem once they will decide to tie the knot. At least they know each other very well. What are the disadvantages of trial marriage or commonly known as lived-in? Each party has no legal right to pursue each other. The man or woman has no legal right to pursue his/her partner if the other will marry another one. The woman can not claim her legal right as a wife neither the man as husband too. If they have conjugal properties when they are living together, its hard to make a claim of share. It will be more stressful and heart breaking experience. It will be a big trouble to face for both of them. Illegitimate children. If there are children born of the couples being together, they are illegitimate children and no right to bring the name of their father, therefore can not be considered as a legal son. or daughter. It will be an embarrassing situation for the child. He/ she will experience teasing from friends and peers that he/she is born out of wedlock. He is not secured in many ways. His future, his family and even his inheritance. He/she is under the mercy of his/ her father whether he will give any support if ever they will be separated. Its hard to claim for benefits if kids are not born to legal marriage. The children will suffer in this situation. Can create insecurities. If couples are not legally married, it will create insecurities for both partners. They will always suspect of third parties when little differences arise. They felt it hard to understand situations when they are not secured with each other. It is really hard when you have no right to question or complain to any suspicion you have for your mate having third party relationship because you are not legally married. In the law both of you are free. It is embarrassing to claim something you does not own. When you are insecure it will make you doubt and gives you unhappy disposition all the time. You are easily irritated, hard to deal with and finally, you will end up to a miserable life. Out destiny depends upon our choices in life. So if we will make the right choice, we will have a better life too. Since people have different opinions on certain things, READERS, you are free to react, disagree or agree, but these are common reasons I heard from friends who are in this situation and from people whom I know, are also doing this. But one thing is very clear. God does not approve with living together out of wedlock. Certainly, theres no adultery committed if both were singles but they committed fornication. What do you think of trial marriage?Have you ever heard of the concept trial marriage? Here is a illustration about the concept of Trial Marriage: Trial Marriage, deriving from the concepts trial and error- meaning to try if wrong and try again till its right. Here lays not so much a question of morality but one struggle between the true happiness of people and order in society.Frankly speaking, I was deeply shocked when I heard this new term for the first time. Can anything be tried? Love and marriage? After a second thought, I thought I might be back-minded. Nowadays, people are becoming more and more open-minded and have the freedom to love and to be loved without becoming a burden to the other. Trial marriage might offer an opportunity for people to find out if the marriage would really work and hence ensure successful marriages.However, trial marriage has also been taken advantage of by those who lack the sense of marriage of responsibility. One Night Stand is a typical example of such cases. Some people have an affair with many persons of opposite sex under the name of trial marriage. Trial marriage is really a very controversial issue. Does its disadvantage outweigh its advantage? Or the opposite? Friends, what do you think of this issue? What are attitude towards trial marriage?Statistics in the west show that people who have lived together (in effect, had a trial marriage) are more likely to divorce than people who do not live together before they get married.Same as the old unmarried or common couples; new name-callingLEONARDO, your subjects are always controversial. Are you a social engineer, a student of social engineering, or perhaps the victim of it?Trial marriage was a popular subject of conversation when I was in my teens. It evolved into men and women living together and sometimes having children without the benefit of marriage. I have seen it work and I have seen it fail; just like regular marriage. The infamous one night stand has nothing to do with trial marriage. There have always been women who would have sex with any man, but it is possible there are more such women today because of the birth control pill and feminist attitudesOne night stands are usually done by two consenting adults. Otherwise, it is called rape. You cant really have a one night stand if you are alone. O_o I am very strongly against having multiple partners. Being committed to one person is already too much for many people to handle. It will also carry with it the big risk of sex-related diseases.There was a proposal before that marriages should have an expiration date, lets say 5 years. After 5 years, couples should have an option to renew it or let it expire. LOL!Some things can be tried before you make up your mind to do it, like you will try to start your own career.However, marriage can never be tried in my life. Marriage is holy and any try of it is a violation of marriage rulesTheres the negative connotation to trial marriage:for those who lack the sense of marriage, when they do the trial, they really simply sample the forbiden fruit under the name of marriage. For those whose mind is set on such minute things, real marriage would not be so much more moral both to him/her or his/her counterpartQuote: LEONARDO, your subjects are always controversial. Are you a social engineer, a student of social engineering, or perhaps the victim of it?Griz326, I am not majoring in social engineering neither I am a victim of it. I still remember a saying from Erencius ( a member on this forum) that many things in life are not white nor black, actually most are grey. For the same thing, different people interpret it very differently.(Theres the negative connotation to trial marriage: for those who lack the sense of marriage, when they do the trial, they really simply sample the forbidden fruit under the name of marriage. For those whose mind is set on such minute things, )Agree with you.In addition, most ask, why are people getting married any way?Not one is force to marry, I recommend to the ones that think that marriage is to be in trial, not to say I do at all, after all it is your word.It takes a special kind of people to think one way or the other, and it is ok.Trial marriage not a bad idea as our hole life is trial and error.Trial ! why ?If the reply is to hold the marriage more strongly, then its OK ?Trial- if any think wrong, cure it and go aheadThe lady put it very well. Trial marriage is different from One Night Stand. One night stands are usually done by two consenting adults. Some guys are just too romantic. They want to enjoy personal pleasure.Trial Marriage.every day you are married it is a trial.everyday there are things that happen that try your patience. try your resolve, try your love.and everyday you succeed, you get to try again the next day.Its kinda like life.if you live through one day, you get another one!I think cohabitation trial matrimony is exactly what you guys are talking about. It is a quite prevalent phenomenon nowadays I think, especially among the young blood. Cohabitation is definitely different from One night stand. Cohabitation is based on love while one night stand is more sensory. Personally I think its quite acceptable and some kind of reasonable. Only the couple live together, can they know each other more deeply and roundly. One may pretend to be so great and perfect, it seems like youve got exactly what you are looking for all years. But the truth might be shocking in many ways for his unbearable aspects. Merits and demerits will be exposed completely after cohabitation. If one can bear the other ones demerits for a certain period of time, then it will leads to a positive ending. It wont be that easy to divorce after they get married. _Cohabitation trial matrimony exactly it is. What are they looking for in a trial marriage? I dare not to say it is all about sex, but sex is what many men look for in cohabitation trial matrimony. In many cases, women get