十二个不快乐的原因及治疗方法.doc

不快乐的12个常见原因及有效疗法 For the average person happiness is a choice, yet numerous people are unhappy. There are many reasons, but it all boils down to one simple principle: They choose something else over happiness. Because it often takes less effort to be unhappy.对于常人而言，快乐是可以选择的，然而大多数人并不快乐。原因有许多，但归根结底就是一个简单的原因：他们自己选择不快乐。因为不快乐总是更容易做到。 For example, instead of seeking happiness, they例如，他们不去追求快乐而是. Lazily follow the path of least resistance. 懒惰地走上一条最没阻力的道路 Refuse to accept change. 拒绝接受变化 Aimlessly try to control the uncontrollable. 漫无目的地试图控制无法掌控的事情 Etc. etc. etc. 等等等等 Averting these poor choices and the negative attitudes that accompany them is the key. The list below will give you some ideas on how to do just that.避免这些差劲的选择并避免与之相伴的消极态度是关键。以下列出的建议会教你一些如何做到的方法 Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.大多数人想要有多快乐就可以有多快乐- Abraham Lincoln亚布拉罕-林肯 1. Lack of meaning in ones day to day life.1.日常生活意义缺失Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” With the modern 9 to 5 work schedule its so easy to trap yourself into doing what you dont want to do for 40 hours every week and then mindlessly waste all your free time being lazy.富兰克林-罗斯福曾经说过，“幸福不只是在于有多少钱；而是在于有所成就的喜悦以及有所创造的兴奋。”在现代朝九晚五的工作时间制度之下，很容易让你自己陷于每周40小时做着自己不愿做的事情的困境，然后一不小心地浪费业余时间，变得懒惰。 Sure you have responsibilities. And no, you wont be able to do what you want to do every waking minute of your life. But you almost always have a choice to do more of what you really want to do to work on something that matters to you something that moves you and gives your life meaning.当然你有你的责任。你也不可能醒着的每一分钟都做自己想做的事情。但是你几乎总是可以选择自己真正更喜欢做的事情做那些对你重要的事情那些激励你，给你生命意义的事情。 You must leave time to follow your inner curiosity and passion. The Happiness Project is a great read on this topic.你必须留些时间遵循自己内心的好奇以及激情。幸福工程是该话题方面值得一读的书。 2. Obsession with the past or future.2. 纠结于过去或是未来 Right now is life. If you dwell on things that happened in the past, or obsess yourself too much with the things that might happen in the future, youll miss everything.当下才是生活。如果你沉溺于过去发生的事或是过多地纠结于未来也许会发生的事，你就会失去一切。 Focus on the present, not yesterday or tomorrow. As Helen Keller once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”专注于当下，而不是过往或是未来。海伦凯勒曾经说过，“当幸福的一扇门关闭，另一扇就会打开，但是我们往往太过专注于关闭的那扇门以至于看不到那扇为我们打开的门。” Oftentimes we fixate our minds on the way things can be, should be, or will be someday. But life always takes place in the present. You never know what the future holds whether or not you and your loved ones will still have good health or even be alive. The opportunity to enjoy life is now. Make time to do so.我们常常执着于事情可能会怎样，应该怎样，或是有一天将会怎样。但是生活总是在现在进行。你永远不会知道将来会怎么样不管你和你爱的人是否依然健康或者甚至是否还活着。享受生活只有趁现在，抽出时间这么做。 3. Feeling out of shape and unhealthy.3.觉得体型走样、健康状况不佳 Remember, your health is your life, and your body is the greatest tool youll ever own.记住，你的健康是你的生活，你的身体是你所拥有的最好工具。 If you are a little overweight, cut back on some of the fatty foods, get outside and take a two mile walk every day. Losing extra body fat decreases your health risks, makes you look and feel better, and generally increases your self-esteem and happiness.如果你稍稍偏重，少吃些含脂肪的食物，出去走走，每天步行2英里。减掉多余的脂肪会降低健康风险，让你看上去好很多，感觉也好很多，通常还会增加你的自信和快乐。 Dont go on binge diets and crash exercise regimens. Instead, gradually change the way you eat and live so you create new health habits that can be sustained for a lifetime. Read The 4-Hour Body for a solid, entertaining read on getting in shape.不要大吃大喝，破坏生活规律。你应该做的是逐渐改变饮食生活方式以养成能够维持一生的新的健康习惯。休闲时阅读4小时身体，保持体型。 4. Unfavorably comparing oneself to others.4.不恰当地拿自己与他人做比较 When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop! Realize that you are different, with different strengths strengths these other people dont possess. Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.当你拿自己于同事、邻居、朋友或是某个著名人物做比较之时，赶紧打住！你应该意识到自己与众不同，有着别人不具备的优势。花点时间总结一下自己具备的能力，并感激生命中拥有的所有美好事物。 The problem with many of us is that we think well be happy when we reach a certain level in life a level we see others operating at your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there, you might have a new destination in mind.我们许多人的问题是我们总认为当达到生命中一定的水平我们看到别人已经达到的水平就会很快乐，你的老板拥有自己的办公室，朋友的朋友拥有一栋海边别墅等等。不幸地是，需要相当长的一段时间你才能达到这一水平。而且当你达到后，你也许又有了新的目标。 Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now. Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive. Hopefully it opens your eyes to all the things you should be grateful for. PS: Help people who have less if youre able youll see why.相反，你应该珍惜自己现在的地位以及所拥有的。试着与那些拥有的少的人，那些遭遇不幸的人以及那些挣扎着活下去的人比较。希望这样能使你看到自己所拥有的，并为此感激。附言：如果可以的话，请帮助那些不如你的人.你会知道珍惜自己拥有的原因。 5. Focusing on negatives5. 专注于消极方面 You cant control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyones life has positive and negative aspects whether youre happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. For instance:你无法掌控所有发生在自己身上的事，但是你可以控制自己反应的方式。每个人的生活都有积极和消极方面你是否开心很大程度上取决于你专注于哪一方面。例如： Did you get catch a head cold? At least its only a temporary virus and nothing life-threatening. 你感染伤风了吗？至少这只是暂时性的病毒，没有什么生命风险。 Did you lose a basketball game? Thankfully you got to spend the afternoon with friends doing something fun and healthy. 你输了一场篮球赛吗？谢天谢地你有时间与朋友度过下午的时间，做些有趣健康的事。 Did your stock market savings go down? Itll bounce back in the long-term. And besides, its great that youve been diligent and fortunate enough to save a nest egg of savings when many people are barely making ends meet. 你的股票跌了吗？长期来看还是会反弹的。此外，别人还是收支相抵而你却有账户存款已经很不错了。 You get the idea almost everything in life has a positive side, and focusing on these positives injects happiness into your atmosphere. So stop concentrating on how difficult things are and why you dont want to do them. Focus instead on the benefits these things have and the opportunities they will create for you the positives.你得知道几乎生活中的所有事情都有积极的一面，关注积极方面将会为你的生活氛围注入快乐。所以停止聚焦于事情有多困难以及你不想去做的理由。反之，应该关注这些事情的益处以及会为你创造的机会积极方面。6. Avoiding personal accountability.6. 逃避个人责任 Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, youll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.要么是你对自己的生活负责，要么是别人对你的生活负责。如果是别人对你的生活负责，你将会沦为他人观点寄梦想的奴隶而不是自己的先锋。 1You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it wont always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. You must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.你是唯一一个能够直接控制自己生活结果的人。而这也并非总是那么容易。每个人都面临着一堆障碍。你必须对自己的处境负责并克服这些障碍。选择不负责任就是选择一生仅仅存在着。 7. Perfectionism and fear of failure.7. 完美主义并害怕失败 If you work hard, do your best and then condemn yourself for not achieving perfection, youre sabotaging your future. Likewise, if your fear of failure, or of not being perfect, has driven you to take the safe road of doing nothing, you have already failed.如果你工作认真，竭尽所能，却自责没有获得完美的结果，你就是在破坏自己的未来。相似的是，如果你对失败或是不完美的恐惧使你选择了一条碌碌无为安全之路，你就已经失败了。 Perfect is the enemy of good. Learn to accept the good learn to love things when they are less than perfect.完美是优秀的敌人。学会接受优秀学会喜欢那些比“完美”稍逊的事物。 If you find yourself at a point of intense decision making where youre caught in a spiral of over-analysis and youre making no progress, take a deep breath, break the spiral, make an educated guess on the next logical step, and take it. Even if you get it wrong youve learned something, which is better than doing nothing. Your failures along the road to your goals are simply opportunities to learn and grow.如果你发现自己处于过度分析却毫无进展的决策漩涡，那么深呼吸，打破这一漩涡，做出下一步有根据的猜测，然后采取行动。即便做错了，你也已经学到了一些，总比什么都没做好。你在达成目标道路上的失败仅仅是失去学习和成长的机会。 Remember, the real world doesnt reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done.记住，现实世界不会奖励完美主义者；现实世界奖励的是那些完成事情的人 8. A low self-esteem.8.看低自己Dont belittle yourself and dont put up with people who try to belittle you.不要小瞧自己，也不要容忍那些试图贬低你的人。 Marcus Aurelius once said, “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” Boost your self-esteem by recognizing your accomplishments and celebrating them. Acknowledge your positive qualities, and when you come across a quality in yourself that you arent proud of, dont sulk in your sorrows, proactively work on correcting it.马可-奥利里乌斯曾经说过，“仅拥有很少便可令你一生快乐；这都取决于你自己，取决于你的思维方式。”认识到自己的成绩并庆祝这些成绩，以此提高你的自信心。承认自己的优良品质，当你发现一个自己不满意的品质时，不要沉溺于悲伤之中，积极地去纠正。 How you view yourself and your world are conscious choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.你如何看待自己及自己的世界是有意识的选择及习惯。你看待所有事物的角度决定了你如何看待自己及发生在自己身边的事。 9. Financial debt.9. 金融债务 The only way to get out of debt is to understand why youre in debt in the first place.摆脱债务的唯一方法是首先弄清楚自己深陷债务的原因。 But the sad truth is, if youre a spendthrift但可悲的事实是，如果你是一个挥霍无度的人. You will not save money when you get your next raise. You will not save money when your car is paid off. You will not save money when your kids are supporting themselves someday. And you wouldnt even save a dime if I handed you $100,000 in cash right now.你下一次加薪时你不会省钱。你汽车款付清你也不会省钱。你的孩子有一天自立了你也不会省钱。即便我立马送你100，000美金现金，你也不会省钱。 How do I know this?我怎么会知道？ Because saving money has very little to do with the amount of money you have. In fact, you will only start to save money when saving becomes an emotional habit when you start treating the money you handle everyday differently. The Millionaire Next Door is an excellent read on eliminating debt and building wealth.因为省钱跟你现在有多少钱没多大关系。事实上，只有当省钱变成一种情感习惯时当你开始不一样地对待每天花的钱时，你才会开始省钱。邻家的百万富翁是消除债务积累财富的上佳读物。 In general, live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means.一般来讲，应生活舒适而不是奢侈浪费。不要花钱来使别人印象深刻。不要愚蠢地认为财富是通过物质来衡量的。明智地管理自己的金钱而不是让金钱来掌控你。生活水平应比你的财富滞后一些。 10. All work and no play.10. 全是工作没有娱乐 Fun is way underrated. With all of our responsibilities, fun seems like an indulgence. It shouldnt be. It should be a requirement. Ponder what you did to have fun when you were younger and go do it again. Leave the house messy and the yard un-mowed for a weekend and get out on the town. When youre older, you will remember the fun, not the clean house or yard.乐趣被大大地低估了。我们有太多的责任，乐趣似乎是一种放纵。不应该如此，乐趣应该成为一种必需品。当你年轻的时候，考虑做什么会使你开心，下次继续。让屋子凌乱些，草坪一个礼拜不去修理，到城里逛逛。当你老了之后，你会记得这些乐趣而不是干净的房子或是整齐的草坪。 Go to a carnival, play a card game, shoot darts with a friend, play catch with a kid, etc.去狂欢节，玩牌，与朋友一道射飞镖，与小朋友玩捉迷藏等等 Make time for fun!腾出点娱乐的时间！ 11. Neglecting personal relationships.11. 忽略人际关系 The quality of our personal relationships correlates directly with our overall sense of worth and happiness. Sometimes in the midst of lifes chaos we forget to do the little things that remind us were part of something greater than ourselves. We need a certain amount of meaningful contact with other people to feel fully alive.我们人际关系的品质直接关系着我们对价值及快乐的总体体感觉。有时在生活的纷纷扰扰中，我们忘记了做一些小事提醒我们是比自己更重要的事情的一部分。我们需要与其他人进行一些有意义的交流使生活充实。 Make time for people, even if its just a quick meal at lunchtime. Its worth sacrificing a few minutes here and there to experience life outside your own inner bubble.留出时间与人交往，即便只是午餐很短的时间。在各处花费点时间体验自身之外的生活是值得的。And remember, you dont need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.记住，你不需要有一堆朋友，只需几个可以相信的朋友即可。 12. Procrastination.12. 拖延 Nothing is so draining and stressful as the eternal presence of an unfinished task.没有什么比一项始终未完成的任务更让人备受压力的了。 There are plenty of ways to sabotage your personal happiness, dreams and desires. Procrastination, however, is the number one killer. Procrastinators self-destruct. They hinder their own potential by placing colossal road-blocks along the path to happiness and success. In other words, they subconsciously choose to fail.有许多东西会破坏你的个人快乐，梦想及欲望。然而，拖延是头号杀手。拖延者是自我毁灭。他们在通往幸福及成功的道路上设下巨大的障碍从而阻碍了自己的潜能。换句话说，他们潜意识地选择了失败。 Do you put off doing things that would bring you closer to your desired goals? I know I do at times. But why are we