绝望的主妇第二季台词DH-EP02-09.doc

Desperate Housewives - Episode 02.09 - Thats Good, Thats BadGuest stars Andrew Van de Kamp - Shawn Pyfrom Danielle Van de Kamp - Joy Lauren Matthew Applewhite - Mehcad Brooks Preston Scavo - Brent Kinsman Porter Scavo - Shane Kinsman Parker Scavo - Zane Huett Caleb - Nashawn Kearse George Williams - Roger Bart Nina Fletcher - Joely Fisher Dr. Goldfine - Sam Lloyd Addison Prudy - Paul Dooley Ed Ferrara- Currie Graham Stu- Charlie Babcock Sister Mary Bernard- Melinda Page Hamilton Detective Barton- Kurt Fuller Carol Prudy- Joyce Van Patten Bellman - Kamal Marayati Pat Ziegler - Carol Mansell Written by: Kevin Murphy Directed by: Larry Shaw-Brees HouseAnyone whod ever been to a party at Bree Van de Kamps thought of her as the perfect hostess because Bree knew how to take care of her guests. Her dinners were always served promptly.Flashback to Bree serving dinner to a guest. Her liquor always flowed freely.Flashback to Bree pouring wine for her guests. And her anecdotes were always enjoyable.Flashback to Brees guest laughing at a story Bree is telling. But on this night, the perfect hostess was about to find herself?quot;-Brees House ?Present NighttimeBree is serving coffee to her guests around her dining room table. Female Guest: Shhh. Wheres that music coming from?卛n a very imperfect predicament.Singing from outside can be heard. Bree: Ah, Im not sure.Bree walks to the window. Upon opening the curtain, she sees George singing into a microphone. A loud speaker on top of a van parked behind him is amplifying his voice and the music. George (singing): Dont give up on us, baby. Were still worth one more try.Bree angrily closes the curtains. Calmly, she turns to her guests. Georges singing can be heard in the background. Bree: If youll excuse me for just one minute. George (singing): I know we put a last on by.Bree leaves the room and goes outside. -Brees House - OutsideBree faces George. George (singing): Just for a rainy evening. Bree: George! I have guests! What do you think you are doing? George: We had a tiff. I upset you and now Im just trying to make things right again. Bree: It was not a tiff! We broke up! Its over! George (singing): We can still come through! Bree: I am not kidding. If you do not knock it off, Im going to call the police! George: All right, go ahead. (singing) I really lost my head last night!He stops singing and yells into the microphone as Bree walks away. George: Call the police! If they drag me away, Im only gonna come right back here. I want you to hear the whole medley! Come on!Bree enters her house to find all of her guests standing in the doorway of the dining room watching her. Bree: Why dont you all take your seats? Uh, dessert is about to be served.Her guests go back to the dining room. Bree rushes upstairs. In her bedroom, Bree pulls a long case out from under her bed. A shotgun and shells are in the case. She loads one shotgun shell and cocks the shotgun one-handed. She walks to the window. George (singing): I really lost my head last night. Youve got a right to?quot;George sees Bree at the window, aiming the shotgun toward him. He freezes. Bree shoots the speaker off the top of the van. Her guests inside are startled by the gun shot. George stares toward Bree in disbelief. Yes, Bree knew how to take care of her guests. Especially those who werent invited.Bree smiles down at a shocked George. -Opening Credits-Wisteria Lane - DaytimeA young boy dressed as a cowboy with a white hat peeks out from behind a bush. Good guys wear white hats and bad guys wear black.Another little boy peeks out from a different bush wearing a black hat. They both come out and start shooting each other with their toy guns. This is how children distinguish between good and evil.The little boy in the black hat pretends to be shot and falls down. But they soon learn that bad guys always dont look so bad.They get up as George comes riding by on a blue bike. George waves and they wave back. And sometimes they seem downright friendly. That is until you get to know them a little bit better.George continues up to Brees house. Bree is walking to her car. George stops beside her. George: Hey, fancy seeing you here. I was just out for a little ride. Bree: Dont lie to me, George. Youve been riding up and down this street for the last hour. George: I dont want to do this, Bree, but you wont return any of my phone calls. Bree: So stalking me is plan B?Bree gets into her car. George gets off the bike and goes to her car window. George: Bree, I know I messed up. I know I got some issues to work on, but Id be willing to see a therapist if thats what you want. Ill do anything but how can I show you that I, I can change if you dont give me a second chance? Come on. You know Im not a bad person. Bree: I do know that, but Im just not sure youre a good one, either.Bree starts her car and drives away quickly. -Advertising AgencyLynette is making a presentation in the conference room to Nina and Ed. Her staff is also there. Lynette: And we integrated the corporate logo into the jungle background creating not only an ad for the clothing, but for the company, itself. Ed: I dont get it. Lynette: What, um, dont you get? Ed: The whole idea just kinda makes my head hurt. (to Nina) Is it just me? Nina: No, nuh uh. Youre right, it stinks. Ed: Sorry guys. Back to the drawing board. Well, I got tickets to a game. (to Nina) Nina, you do whatever you have to do to keep us afloat here. Nina: Got it.Ed leaves the room. Nina: Looks like it going to be another late night at the office. Nice work, everybody. Thank you. Lynette: Could you can the attitude, Nina? Nina: Im sorry, what did you just say? Lynette: Youre being rude and its totally out of line. You know how hard we all worked on this. Nina: Yeah, I do. Lynette: Nina, I think I speak for everyone here when I say we are sick and tired of your abuse. Frankly, you owe us an apology. Nina: Is, is this true? I mean, I would be mortified if I thought that I hurt any of you. If anybody feels like I owe them an apology, please speak up. You? You? You? Gee, Lynette, I guess you were mistaken. All right, lets recap, shall we? Stinky pitch, working late, no apologies.Nina leaves the room. Lynette: Guys, we talked about this. What happened to standing up for ourselves?Stu enters carrying a basket of muffins. Stu: Hot muffins! Any takers? Lynette: No, Stu! These people dont deserve muffins.All the staff members bow their heads. -Gabrielles HouseGabrielle comes in carrying a shopping bag. The phone rings. Gabrielle: Hello. Mans Voice: Hello. My name is Mark Martinez. Uh, Im the assistant warden down at Fairview County Jail. Is Mrs. Solis available? Gabrielle: Uh, yeah, this is her. Did, did something happen with Carlos? Mans Voice: At seven forty-three this morning, your husband held two guards at gunpoint and successfully escaped. Gabrielle: He what? Mans Voice: I take it you had no prior knowledge he had planned to do this. Gabrielle: No, of course not! Hes a moron! Mans Voice: We have every reason to believe your husband may come to find you. We believe him to be armed and very, very horny.Carlos walks into the room, talking on the phone. Gabrielle: What? Carlos: Surprise, baby. I got paroled early. Gabrielle: Its so good to see you!Gabrielle runs into his arms. Carlos picks her up. Gabrielle: What happened? Carlos: Well, theres this church group that helps out Catholic prisoners and they really, really stepped up for me. Gabrielle: Well, what did they do? Carlos: They lobbied the Parole Board and it worked. Gabrielle: Mmm. I guess I owe the Pope a thank you note. Carlos: Uh, less talking, more stripping.Carlos pulls off his tie. Gabrielle begins to undress. -Outside Prudys Feed Store ?DaytimeSusan and Julie pull up in their car. Julie: Ah. Prudys Feed Store. Susan: Apparently he owns the place. Julie: How are you gonna do it? Susan: What do you mean? Julie: I mean, how are you gonna tell him that youre his daughter? Susan: Oh, Im not. Julie, the man abandoned me before I was born. I dont have a desire to have a relationship with him. Julie: Okay, then Im really confused why were here spying on him. Susan: I just want to see what hes like. And satisfy my curiosity and get it out of my system.-Inside Prudys Feed StoreSusan enters. Addison Prudy is helping a customer. Addison: Well, here you go. Now, you tell Charlie that Addison Prudy says drop in some time. I miss that ugly mug of his around here. Customer: I will.The customer leaves the store. Addison (to Susan): I bet I know what youre here for. Susan: Oh? Addison: You heard about the give-a-way. Well, I got the cowboy hats right here. Susan: Oh, oh, no. Thats okay, you dont have to give me anything, really. Addison: Relax. This is a promotional item. Didnt cost me a dime.Addison brings a black cowbow hat over and puts it on Susan. Addison: There you go. Pretty as a picture.Later, Susan comes running out of the feed store wearing the hat. She gets in her car. Susan: I have a Dad! Hes great! He gave me a hat!Susan laughs and Julie smiles. -Gabrielles HouseCarlos and Gabrielle are in bed. Gabrielle: Wow. That biting thing at the end totally blew my mind. Please tell me you didnt learn that in prison. Carlos: Yeah, I didnt.Carlos rolls over and closes his eyes. Gabrielle: Wait! Im not done with you yet. Carlos: Just give me ten minutes, please. Gabrielle: What is wrong with you? You are totally useless after sex. Carlos: I know. I should probably get my thyroid checked out.Gabrielle gets out of bed and picks up the plastic bag Carlos brought back from prison. She pulls out some letters. Gabrielle: Who is Sister Mary Bernard? Carlos: Hey, those are private, gimme!Gabrielle moves out of reach. Carlos: Shes this nun, okay? She visited me in prison a couple times. Shes part of the group that got me early release. So now can I please have my them back.Gabrielle reads the letter out loud. Gabrielle: When you walk with God everyday, you learn that Truth is understood in the Mind, but Faith burns in the Heart?Gabrielle laughs. Carlos grabs the letter. Carlos: You dont know what it was like in there. All right? Twenty hours a day, eight by ten cell, just you and your mind. Gabrielle: So pretty much just you. Carlos: It forces you to re-examine everything. I was a very bad person for a very long time. But now all that is gonna change. Because Im on a new path. Gabrielle: A new path? Carlos: I am going to live a virtuous life. I want to do right by you, by my mama, and by my God. Gabrielle: What the hell did they do to you in that prison?-Brees House - DaytimeLynette is dealing cards to Susan (with cowboy hat on), Gabrielle, Bree, and Edie. Lynette: All right. This is my last hand, then I gotta go. Bree: All ready? Lynette: I left a proposal on my desk at work. I have to go over it tonight, or you-know-whos gonna have my head. Everyone: Nina! Bree: You know this gainful employment thing is really starting to cut into our social life. Lynette: Well, if one of you would just agree to raise my kids, I wouldnt need a job. Any takers?Edie laughs. Lynette: Yeah, no, I didnt think so. Ante up. Edie: Speaking of child abandonment, when are you gonna tell your father that he has a bouncing middle-aged baby girl? Susan: Soon. I dont wanna ambush him. Im gonna ease into it. Gabrielle: How do you ease into, 慼i, Im your illegitimate daughter? Susan: Well actually, theres a 慼elp wanted sign in the window so I was thinking about getting a job there. And, you know, he would get to know me and Im sure he would like me and I would like him, and then one day he would say, 憏oure like the daughter I never had and Id say, 憌ell actually, now that youve mentioned it. Edie: Okay, Ill go first. That is the most idiotic plan Ive ever heard of. Susan: Why? Edie: Because it all hinges on him responding to your personality. And lets face it, you are an acquired taste. Lynette: Edie! I am sure Susans father will like her just fine. Susan: Thank you. Bree: I just hope you dont expect too much from this relationship. I mean aside from DNA, you might find that you dont have that much in common. Susan: I know. But I gotta find out if theres something there. Ive always wanted a dad. I mean, I know not having one affected me. Gabrielle: Of course it did. Everyone needs a strong male role model. Edie: No, they dont. I grew up without a father and it didnt affect me one bit. Lynette: Edie, how old were you when you lost your virginity? Edie: Point well taken.-Advertising Agency ?Late NighttimeLynette comes into a darkened, empty office. She goes into her office and picks up a notebook off her desk. Across the hall, she sees Stu, wearing only his boxer shorts, running into Ninas office, carrying two bottles. Stu: Hey, look what I found in Eds fridge.Lynette quietly walks over to Ninas door. Nina: Oh. Oh.Lynette peeks in the room and sees Nina, almost naked, on her desk, with Stu on top of her. Nina moans. Then she opens her eyes and sees Lynette standing in the doorway. -Advertising Agency - DaytimeLynette walks in. Lynette: Hey, Stu.She walks over the coffee table where Nina is standing. Lynette: And Nina! Nina: Hey, Lynette. Can I, um, see you for a second? Lynette: Sure.They go into Lynettes office. Lynette: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Having sex with the support staff. Thats a big no-no. Eds been known to fire people for that sort of thing. Nina: Lynette, I know that weve had our little differences. But, at the core, I believe that we are both good people, both smart women who are just trying to make it in this vicious male dominated jungle. Okay, what do you want? Do you want a raise? Want a better office? Lynette: My demands are simple. I want you to be nicer. Nina: What? Lynette: No more belittling, berating, rude sarcasm. Nina: And in exchange I get your silence? Lynette: Yeah. Pretty sweet deal, dont you think? Nina: Ah, Ill see what I can do. Lynette: Great! Nina: Okay. Lynette: And Im gonna take your parking space. Nina: Hmm? Lynette: I kid the Nina!Nina laughs and walks out. -Gabrielles House - DaytimeCarlos is dressed in a suit, drinking coffee in the kitchen when Gabrielle walks in, wearing a robe. Gabrielle: Youre up early. Carlos: Im going to Mass. Gabrielle: Huh? Carlos: Yeah. Gabrielle: But its not even Sunday. Carlos: They have a Mass every day of the week. Gabrielle: Really? When did they start doing that?A horn honks outside. Carlos: Thats Sister Mary Bernard. Did you see where I put my Bible?Gabrielle walks to the front door and looks out the window. There is a beautiful blonde lady standing by the car outside. Carlos comes back downstairs with his Bible. Gabrielle blocks his way. Carlos: What? Gabrielle: I saw your nun! Carlos: So? Gabrielle: So, shes hot! Shes a hot nun! Carlos: You cant seriously be jealous. Gabrielle: You mean to tell me that this miraculous conversion of yours has nothing to do with fact that the woman standing outside is a knock out? Carlos: Thats what Im telling you.Carlos leaves. Sister Mary waves to Gabrielle. -Advertising Agency - DaytimeLynette walks in. A new receptionist waves at her. Pat: Um. Who are you here to see? Lynette: Im Lynette Scavo. I work here. Who are you? Pat: Pat. Its my first day. Lynette: Oh. Well, welcome. What happened to Stu?Later, Lynette enters Ninas office. Lynette: You fire