幽默的英文演讲稿.doc

幽默的英文演讲稿 幽默的英文演讲稿篇一：英语演讲幽默开场白 英语演讲幽默开场白 作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。 As a speaker, Ive only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they cant fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they cant stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。 作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲一个著名的演讲相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛特别是委员会。 As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning - especially by the program committee. 幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。 演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program - and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast. 幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。 过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。 I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, Im standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。 创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。 我本人不自负我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 Personally, I have never been conceited - and I cant tell you how much I admire myself for that. 幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。 创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我. 我先用简单明了的英语，以后我再翻译给律师听。 Let me put this into plain English. Ill translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。 创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？ 如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。 If youve already heard this story, please dont stop me because its the only one I know. 幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。 创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。 演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。 Making a speech is like watering a lawn. Youre satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in. 幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。 演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么我也不知道。At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. You dont know what Im going to say - and neither do I. 幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。 创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。 Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2. 幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。 可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。 As some of you may know, Im appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker whos intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated - and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me. 幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。 创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？幽默的英文演讲稿篇二：幽默英文演讲稿 篇一：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系. later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say.所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的.the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered. 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirthand the rejection even from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子. i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly.she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears. 我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. 我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏 i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心 for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness. when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难， 我也同样赐她流下眼泪， 这是当她在需要时可以使用的， 这是她唯一的软弱之处 当你看到她哭泣的时候， 告诉她你有多么地爱她， 告诉她她为所有人所做的一切， 即使这样她可能还是会哭泣， 但你会使她的心里得到安慰 she is special! please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,sisters, and special women in their lives. 她是独特的！ 请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人 but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇二：英语演讲幽默开场白 英语演讲幽默开场白 作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲一个著名的演讲相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛特别是计划委员会。 幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。 演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program - and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast. 幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。 过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。 i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, im standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。 创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。 我本人不自负我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 personally, i have never been conceited - and i cant tell you how much i admire myself for that. 幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。 创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我. 我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。 let me put this into plain english. ill translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。 创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？ 如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。 if youve already heard this story, please dont stop me because its the only one i know. 幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。 创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。 演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。 making a speech is like watering a lawn. youre satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in. 幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。 幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。 创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。 before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for thegame on channel 2. 幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。 可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。 幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。 创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？篇三：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系. later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say. 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的. the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered. 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejectioneven from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子. i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly. she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears. 我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite(转 载 于:wWW.xmSjOb.COM 厦门 培训 考试 网:幽默的英文演讲稿) faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. 我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏 i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心 for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness. when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难， 我也同样赐她流下眼泪， 这是当她在需要时可以使用的， 这是她唯一的软弱之处 当你看到她哭泣的时候， 告诉她你有多么地爱她， 告诉她她为所有人所做的一切， 即使这样她可能还是会哭泣， 但你会使她的心里得到安慰 she is special!幽默的英文演讲稿篇三：三分钟英语演讲稿幽默 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系.later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say.所有的女人都会 常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的.the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered. 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shouldersstrong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子.i gave her a hardnessthat allows her to keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly. she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears.我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时 候 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧 张与恐惧 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保 护男人的心脏 i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永 远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness.when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even thoughshe may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困 难， 我也同样赐她流下眼泪， 这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她， 告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰she is special! please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,sisters, and special women in their lives. 她是独特的！ 请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇二：3-5分钟英语演讲稿(30篇)最好英语演讲稿汇总35分钟英语演讲稿汇总（30篇） 六、 周怡雪，19岁，上海i believe in our future honorable judges, fellow students:good afternoon! recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive exceptional education atextraordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country? the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still inexperienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future. 我对未来充满信心 尊敬的评委，各位同学：下午好！ 最近，社会上有一场很激烈的争论。大学生是一种稀有特权的享有者，在很棒的地方接 受高等教育。但是，我们能面对挑战而无所畏惧吗？我们能够改善他人的生活吗？我们能够 承担建设祖国未来的重任吗？怀疑论者说大学生是被宠坏的一代，一丁点挫折都受不了。但是他们错了，我所看到的 大学生正在努力的学习独立生活。我们互相帮助打扫卫生，一起上街砍价购物，一起参加兼 职工作来赚零花钱。 怀疑论者说我们除了成绩什么都不关心，从而忽略了性格的培养。但是，他们又错了。 我们彼此关心，我们向往自由，我们珍惜公正，我们追求真理。上个星期，很多我的同学去 验血，为了给患血癌的孩子贡献自己的力量。 作为大学生，我们是处在人生分水岭的青年。我们都面临一个重要的选择：怀疑人生还 是相信自己，每一种都会给我们的人生带来重大的影响，甚至影响我们祖国的未来。我相信 我们的同学们，虽然我们依然缺乏经验，甚至有些志气，但是我相信我们有勇气和自信来面 对生活的挑战并承担我们的责任。我们正努力准备接受新的任务，用我们所学习的知识将世 界变得更美好。我对我们的未来充满信心。大学生英语演讲稿17 change the ingredients of your life 十七、 王晨，20岁，安徽change the ingredients of your life if kindness is added to a strange you will have a friend; but if hostility is added, you will have an enemy. if love is added to a pile of red bricks you will have a home, but if hatred is add to those bricks , you will have an concentration camp.so my dear friend, if faith, hope, love, endurance are added to your life, you will find the confidence to conquer your limitation and embrace new challenges. and hopefully with my speech included, you will have a fantastic speech contest.改 变生活的味道 这是一杯白开水，平淡无味，对吧？可是加上点糖呢，他尝起来会有甜味；如果加的是 苏打水，味道就会变苦。人生同样如此个中滋味在于我们的选择。善待他人，你会拥有朋友；但如果充满恶意，则会多个敌人。将爱赋予一堆红砖，你会 拥有一个家；用仇恨来浇铸这堆红砖，就会铸成一座集中营。 因此亲爱的朋友们，不要抱怨人生乏味，世间无望。不喜欢生活的味道，那就换一换生 活的调料吧！ 三年前，我重达100多公斤，这给我带来了很多尴尬和挫折：体育课老是不及格，总被 女孩们嘲笑，更不敢当众发表。幸而由于祖母的鼓励，我不在消极人生，而是充满自信。 她曾经说过：“孩子，如果体形无法改变，为什么不把它看做自己独特的风格呢？” 我开始 这样来审视人生，通过改变生活的视角，我信心大增地去改变我的人生，很快就发现一个崭 新的世界。 朋友们，将信念，希望，爱意和忍性溶入生命，你就会找到自信，克服缺点，迎接人生 新的挑战。最后我的演讲包括在内，希望你会看到一场精彩的演讲比赛。 大学生英语演讲稿16 十六、 杨颖，21岁，海南when two cultures meet, there may be things in one culture, which do not fit into the tradition of the other. when this happens, we need to learn to understand and respect the customs of another culture. then there are certain things some people may not like. to this, i will say, if you do not like it, please try to tolerate it. to learn to tolerate what you personally dont like is a great virtue at a time when different cultures mix and merge. before us, there are two rivers, eastern and western cultures. at present, they may run in different courses. but eventually, they will converge into the vast sea of human culture.right now, i can see peoples of eastern and western cultures, standing side by side, singing the olympic theme song: we are hand in hand, heart to heart, together we will shape a beautiful tomorrow! thank you! 让我们共同感受东西方的融合吉卜林说过:东方是东方，西方是西方，二者永不相聚。但是一个世纪后的今天，东西方 相汇了! 它们相聚在领域，它们相聚在教育领域，它们相聚在艺术的殿堂。有人争论说: 这种融合需要我们在东方和西方之间做出选择，但我却坚信最美好的未来在于东方和西方创造性的融合。我们可以将西方的思想，观念和技术变为我们自己所用的东西。我 喜爱京剧和河南豫剧，因为它们经常使我想起自己是谁。但我也热衷于流行音乐，特别是英 文歌曲。于是我将东方的旋律和西方的语言结合到了一起，它叫做西方版的河南豫剧。 当两种文化相结合的时候，也许一方的文化中的某些东西不适应另一方的传统文化。当 此种情况出现时，我们需要试着理解并接受另一种文化中的风俗习惯。然而，也许有些东西 你并不喜欢，对于此，我可以说，如果你不喜欢它，请试着去容忍它。当两种文化融合的时候，试着去容忍你个人不喜欢的东西是一种美德。在我们面前有两条河流，东方文化和西方文化。现在，它们也许正朝着不同的方向流去。 但是最终它们将汇合到人类文化的海洋里。就在此时此刻，我看见东方和西方的人肩并肩的站在一起，高唱奥林匹克