绝望主妇1-1字幕.doc

My name is Mary Alice Young.In this mornings paper,you may come across an articleabout the unusual day I had last week.Normally, theres never anythingnews worthy about my life,but that all changed last Thursday.Of course, everything seemedquite normal at first.I made Breakfast for my family.I performed my chores.I completed my projects.I ran my errands.In truth, I spent the dayas I spent every other day,quietly polishing使变得优雅，改进的，润色的 the routine of my lifeuntil it gleamed发出微光，闪烁 with perfection.Thats why it was so astonishing whenI decided to go to my hallway closetand retrieve取回 a revolver左轮手枪that had never been used.My body was discoveredby my neighbor, Mrs. Martha Huber,whod been startledby a strange popping sound.Her curiosity aroused,Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reasonfor dropping in on me看望一下，到某处坐坐 unannounced.After some initial开始的，最初的 hesitation,she decided to return the blender 搅拌机shehad borrowed from me six months before. ScreamsIts my neighbor. I think shes beenshot. Theres blood everywhere.Yes, youve got to send an ambulance.Youve got to send one right now.And, for a moment, Mrs. Huberstood motionless in her kitchen,grief-stricken极为悲痛的by this senseless tragedy.But only for a moment.If there was one thingMrs. Huber was known for,it was her abilityto look on the bright side.I was laid to rest on a Monday.After the funeral,all the residents of Wisteria Lanecame to pay 致敬意，给予问候their respects.And, as people do in these situations,they brought food.Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.Lynette had a great family recipefor fried chicken.She didnt cook muchwhile moving up the corporate ladder.升职She didnt have the time.But when her doctor announced she waspregnant, her husband Tom had an idea.Why not quit yourjob?Kids do better with stay-at-home moms.It would be so much less stressful.But this was not the case.In fact, Lynettes lifehad become so hecticBusy and confusedshe was now forced to get her chickenfrom the fast-food restaurant.Lynette wouldve appreciated the ironyif shed thought about it.But she didnt have the time.- Stop it, stop it, stop it.- But, Mom.No. You are going to behave today.I am not going to be humiliatedin front of the entire neighborhood.And, just so you knowhow serious I am.- Whats that?- Santas cell-phone number.How did you get that?I know someonewho knows someone who knows an elf.And if any of you acts up,Misbehave give troubleso help me, I will call Santaand I will tell himyou want socks for Christmas.Are you willing to risk that?OK. Lets get this over with.Gabrielle Solis who lives down the blockbrought a spicy paella.Since her modeling days in New York,Gabrielle had developed a tastefor rich food.and rich men.Carlos, who worked in mergersand acquisitions,proposed on their third date.Gabrielle was touchedwhen tears welled up in his eyes.But she soon discovered this happenedevery time Carlos closed终止。结束 a big deal.Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.However, her relationship withher husband was considerably cooler.If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,mention how muchI paid for your necklace.Why not pin the receipt to my chest?He let me know what he paidfor his wifes convertible敞篷车.- Just work it in完成，得到.- Theres no way I can.Why not? At the Donahue partyeveryone was talking mutual funds.You mentionedyou slept with half the Yankee outfield.It came upin the context of the conversation.People are staring.Keep your voice down.Absolutely. We wouldnt want themto think were not happy.Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door,brought baskets of muffinsshe baked from scratch.Bree was known for her cooking.And for making her own clothes.And for doing her own gardening.And for re-upholstering为家具装上垫子her own furniture.Yes, Brees many talents were knownThrough out the neighborhood.Everyone on Wisteria Lane thoughtof Bree as the perfect wife and mother.Everyone, that is,except her own family.Paul. Zachary.- Hello, Mrs. Van De Kamp.- You shouldnt have.It was no trouble. The basketwith the red ribbon is for your guests.The one with the blue ribbonis just for you and Zachary.Its got rolls, muffins,Breeakfast type things.Thank you.The least I could dowas give you a decent mealto look forward to in the morning.I know youreout of your minds with grief.Yes, we are.I will needthe baskets back once youre done.Of course.Susan Mayer,who lives across the street,brought macaroni and cheese.Her husband, Karl,always teased her about her macaroni,saying it was the only thing she knewhow to cook and she rarely made it well.It was too salty the nightshe and Karl moved into their house.It was too watery the nightshe found lipstick on Karls shirt.She burned it the night Karl told herhe was leaving her for his secretary.A year had passed since the divorce.Susan had started to think how nice itwould be to have a man in her life.Even one who wouldmake fun of her cooking.Mom, why wouldsomeone kill themselves?Well, sometimes people are so unhappy,they think thats the only wayto solve their problems.- Mrs. Young always seemed happy.- Yeah.Sometimes people pretend to be one way,when theyre totally different inside.Like how Dads girlfriend always saysnice things, but we know shes a bitch.I dont like that word, Julie.But, yeah, thats a great example. Man Youre welcome. Julie Whats going on?Sorry Im late.- Hi, Susan.- Hey.So what did Karl saywhen you confronted him?Youll love this, he said, It doesntmean anything. It was just sex.Ah, yes, page oneof the philanderer追求女性者s handbook.Then he got this Zen look on his faceand said, You know,most men live livesof quiet desperation.- Tell me you punched him.- No. I said,What do most women lead?Lives of noisy fulfillment?- Good for you.- Did he have to bang his secretary?I had that woman to brunch.An erect penisdoesnt have a conscience.Even the limp ones arent that ethical.This is why I joined the NRA.When Rex started going to thoseconferences,I wanted it in the back of his mindthat he had a wifewith a loaded Smith & Wesson.Lynnie, Toms always away.Do you ever worry he might.?Hes gotten me pregnantthree times in four years.I wish he was having sexwith someone else.So, Susan,is he gonna stop seeing that woman?I dont know.Im sorry, you guys, I just.I just dont knowhow Im gonna survive this.Listen to me.We all have moments of desperation.If we can face them head-on迎头面对, thats whenwe find out how strong we really are. Far off Susan.Susan.I was just sayingPaul wants us to go over到家里探望一下某人 on Friday.He needs us to helppack up Mary Alices things.He cant face doing it by himself.- Sure. Thats fine.- Are you OK?Yeah. Im just so angry.If Mary Alice was having problems,she shouldve let us help her.What problems could she have had?She was healthy,had a great home, a nice family.Her life was.Our life.No. If Mary Alice was having a crisis,wed have known.She lives 50 feet away,for God sakes.Gabby, the woman killed herself.Something mustve been going on.- I wouldnt eat that if I were you.- Why?I made it. Trust me.Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?No, I just dont believe that anybodycan screw up macaroni and cheese.Oh, my God.How did you.? It tastes likeits burnt and undercooked夹生.Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.Thanks. Im Mike Delfino. I just startedrenting the Sims house next door.Susan Mayer. I live across the street.Mrs. Huber told me about you.Said you illustrate childrens books.Yeah, Im very bigwith the under-five set.- He laughs- What do you do?Plumber. So if you ever have a clog阻塞.or something.Now that everybodys seenthat I brought something,I should probably just throw this out.- Baby squeals小孩长而尖的叫声- Ow.Ease up放松,+on sb.对某人放松要求, you little vampire.吸血鬼Lynette, Ive been lookingall over for you.Are you awareof what your sons are doing?Cannonball!- Boy Stop!- Boys cheerWhat are you doing? We are at a wake.- You said we could go in the pool.- I said you could go by the pool.Yeah, we put em on ourselvesbefore we left.You three planned this? All right.Thats it. Get out.- No.- No?I am your mother.You have to do what I say. Come on.We want to swim and you cant stop us! Chatter She groansHere.- No!- Get out.Think I wont get in this pooland just grab you? Get out!Oh!Get over here.All right, give me your arm.You.Yah!Thats right. Get over here.Go, go, go, go, go. Move it.Out. Get out.Paul, we have to leave now.Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.Go.Lynette shouldnt have beenso concerned about my husband.He had other things on his mind.Things below the surface.The morning after my funeral, my friendsand neighbors quietly went backto their busy, busy lives.While some did their cooking.and some did their cleaning.and some did their yoga.others.did their homework.- Hi.- dog barksIm Julie. I kicked my ballinto your backyard.Oh, OK. Well, lets go round and get it.- Stay.- Dog growlsHis wife died a year ago.In LA there were too many memories.Hes renting for tax purposes,but hopes to buy soon.- I cant believe you went over there.- I saw you flirting.Now you know hes single,you can ask him out.Julie, I like Mr. Delfino, I do.I just. I dont knowif Im ready to date yet.You need to get back out there. Howlong has it been since youve had sex?- Are you mad I asked you that?- No, Im trying to remember.I dont want to talk to youabout my love life.I wouldnt have said anything. Just.What?I heard Dads girlfriend askif youd dated anyone since the divorce.And Dad said he doubted it.And then they both laughed. Dog barksHey, Susan.Hi, Mike. I brought youa house-warming gift.I shouldve broughtsomething by earlier.- Actually, youre the first to stop by.- Really?- Susan knew she was lucky.- Well.An eligible适龄的，适合的 bachelorhad moved on to Wisteria Laneand she was the first to find out.She also knew that good news.- Hello s quickly.Edie Britt was the most predatory掠夺成性的divorce in a five-block radius半径距离.Her conquests were numerous.Varied.And legendary. Priest Wh. Ah!Hi, Susan. I hope Im not interrupting.You must be Mike Delfino.Hi, Im Edie. Britt.I live over there.Welcome to Wisteria Lane.Susan had met the enemy.And she was a slut.Thank you. Whats this?Sausage puttanesca.Its just something I threw together.Well, thanks, Edie.Thats. great. Id invite you in,but I was in the middle of something.- Im late for an appointment.- I just wanted to say hi.And just like that,the race for Mike Delfino had begun.For a moment, Susanwondered if her rivalry竞争，对抗 with Ediewould remain friendly.Oh, Mike, I heard youre a plumber.But she was reminded thatwhen it came to men.Could you stop by laterand take a look at my pipes?.women dont fight fair.- Sure.Thanks.Bye, Susan.- You cant order me around.- Gabrielle.No, no. Im not going.Tanaka expectseveryone to bring their wives.Every time Im around that man,he tries to grab my ass.I made over 200,000doing business with him last year.If he wants to grab your ass, let him. Wind chimes- John.- Ow!Mr. Solis, you scared me.Why is that bush there?You were supposed to dig it up.- I didnt have time.- I dont want excuses.Just take care of it.I really hate the way you talk to me.And I hate that I spent $15,000on your diamond necklaceyou couldnt live without.But Im learning to deal with it. So canI tell Tanaka well be there tomorrow?John, we have bandagestop shelf in the kitchen.Thanks, Mrs. Solis.Fine, Ill go.But Im keeping my back pressedagainst the wall the entire time.See, now this is whata marriage is all about. Compromise.- Is your finger OK?- Yeah, its just a small cut.Let me see. Mmm.You know, Mrs. Solis,I really like it when we hook up,but, um, you know,I got to get my work done and.I cant afford to lose this job.This table was hand-carved.Carlos had it imported from Italy.It cost him $2,000.You want to do iton the table this time?Absolutely. Gentle classical musicWhy cant we ever have normal soup?Danielle, there is nothing abnormalabout basil purse.Once, can we have a souppeople have heard of?- Like French onion or navy bean?- Your father cant eat onions.Hes deathly allergic. And I wont evendignify your navy bean suggestion.So, hows the osso buco?- Its OK.- Its OK?I spent three hours cooking this meal.How do you think it feels when you say,Its OK in that sullen不搭理人的,阴暗的 tone?Who asked you to spend three hourson dinner?Excuse me?Tim Harpers mom gets home from work,pops open a can of pork and beans,and theyre eating,everyones happy.- Youd rather I served pork and beans?- Apologize now, I beg.Im saying do you always have to servecuisine? Cant we just have food?- Are you doing drugs?- What?Change in behavioris a warning signand you have been as fresh as paintfor the last six months.It explains why youre alwaysin the bathroom.- That is not what hes doing.- Shut up.Mom, Im not the onewith the problem here.Youre the one acting likeshes running for Mayor of Stepford.Rex. seeing thatyoure the head of this household,Id appreciate you saying something.Pass the salt?Three days after my funeral,Lynette replaced her griefwith a much more useful emotion.Indignation愤怒.Tom, this is my fifth messageand you still havent called me back.You must be having a lot of fun onyour business trip. I can only imagine.Guess what, the kids and Iwant to have some fun too,so unless you call me back by noon,were getting a plane and joining you.- Mom.- Not now. Mommys threatening Daddy.- Mom.- No, I.- Where are your brothers?- Noodles, my favorite.- Lynette Scavo?- Under her Breeath Crap.Natalie Klein. I dont believe it.- Lynette. How long has it been?- Years. How are you? Hows the firm?- Good. Everyone misses you.- Yeah.We all say, if you hadnt quityoud be running the place by now.Yeah, well.So hows domestic life?Dont you just love being a mom?And there it was. The questionthat Lynette always dreaded.Well, to be honest.For those who asked it,only one answer was acceptable.So Lynette respondedas she always did. She lied.Its the best job Ive ever had. Gasps- You know what I dont get?- What?Why you married Mr. Solis.Well, he promised to give meeverything Ive ever wanted.- And did he?- Yes.Then why arent you happy?Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.So do you love him?I do.So then why are we here?Why are we doing this?Because I dont wantto wake up one morningwith a sudden urgeto blow my brains out.- Hey, can I have a drag抽一口，吸一口?- Absolutely not.You are much too young to smoke.How would you feel if I used your childsupport payments for plastic surgery整形?Stop being nervous. Youre justasking him to dinner. No big deal.Youre right.So is that your project for school?In fifth grade I madethe White House out of sugar cubes.Stop stalling支吾，拖延 and go. BeforeMike figures out he can do better.Tell me againwhy I fought for custody监护权 of you.- You were using me to hurt Dad.- Oh, thats right.Oh, God.- Hi.- Hey, Susan.- Are you busy?- No, not at all. Whats up?Well, I. I just, uh,was wondering if.if there was any chancethat you, uh.I just wanted to ask if.- Edie.- Hey, there, Susan.- What are you.?- I was making ambrosia.And I made too much so I thoughtId bring some over to Mike.- Whats going on?- Susan was gonna ask me something.Uh.- I have a clog.- Excuse me?- And youre a plumber, right?- Yeah.- The clogs in the pipe.- Yeah, thats usually where they are.- Well, Ive got one.- OK. Let me get my tools.Now? You want to come over now?You have company.I dont mind.Just give me two minutes.Ill be right over. Squeals quietly Breeathes heavilyThats it.- Stuff the hair down.- I stuffed it.- Its not enough to clog it.- Here. Here. Look.Put in this peanut butter.And this cooking oil.- Mom.- And these olives.- Its not working.- DoorbellOh, God. Thats him.How am I gonna stop up堵住，塞住 the sink?Well, heres your problem.Somebody stuffeda bunch of Popsicle sticks冰棒棍 down here.Ive told Julie a million times not toplay in the kitchen. Kids, you know.Ill go put in your orders and Ill beback with your plates for the salad bar.Thank you.Andrew, Danielle, napkins. Thank you.They have video games. Can we go playuntil our food gets here?- This is family time. I think.- Go ahead and play.I know you think Im angryabout coming here, but Im not.The kids wanted a change of pace,something fun.I get it. Theyll want somethinghealthier tomorrow, though.- Im thinking chicken saltimbocca.- I want a divorce.I just cant live in this.this detergent去污剂 commercial anymore.The salad bars there.Help yourself.Thank you.Um, I think Ill go