Never floss with a stranger.doc

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentlemans toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.Hugh Leonard An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Atlee got outOn Clement Atlee Winston Churchill Memory is like an orgasm. Its a lot better if you dont have to fake it.Seymore Cray (on virtual memory) Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day. A hack writer who would have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tried out a few of the old proven sure-fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.William Faulkner on Mark Twain They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. Mark Twain Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.Richard Nixon A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because Id been up all night inventing the Camcorder.Al Gore Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.Gioacchino Rossini. In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. Stephen Leacock. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.H. L. Mencken Dont get suckered in by the comments they can be terribly misleading. Debug only code.Dave Storer People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy - and I keep it in a jar on my desk.Stephen King See what will happen if you dont stop biting your fingernails?Will RogersTo his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo. Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award.Billy Wilder. Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend and inside of a dog, its too dark to read.Groucho Marx Only one man ever understood me, and he didnt understand me. GW Hegel. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.Lucille Ball Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because Ive done it thousands of times.Mark Twain Nuke the whales One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him. Jeffrey Bernard. Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.Martin Golding Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.Winston Churchill Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. Oprah Winfrey. The most important thing for poets to do is to write as little as possible.TS Eliot. The Internet is a gateway to get on the net. Bob Dole. In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks. Chris Patten. I invented it, Bill made it famous.David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC) Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. P.J. ORourke. I bought some batteries, but they werent included.Steven Wright The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.Mark Twain If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably havent understood the seriousness of the situation.David Brent Work is the curse of the drinking classes.Oscar Wilde I love being married. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.Charles Lamb Youre never too old to become younger.Mae West If youre not failing every now and again, its a sign youre not doing anything very innovative.Woody Allen Lady Astor to Churchill Winston, if you were my husband I would flavor your coffee with poison Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it Winston Churchill The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.Woody Allen Dont knock masturbation. Its sex with someone I love.Woody Allen When the President does it, that means that its not illegal.Richard Nixon. Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.Mark Twain Whats the use of happiness? It cant buy you money.Henny Youngman When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.Winston Churchill Dont forget Mothers Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dads Third Wife Day.Jay Leno USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.David Letterman. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is to be prepared. George W Bush A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.Ambrose Bierce Life doesnt imitate art, it imitates bad television.Woody Allen Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.Daniel J. Boorstin. Chamberlain seemed such a nice old gentleman that I thought I would give him my autograph.Adolf Hitler. To write a diary every day is like returning to ones own vomit.Enoch Powell. A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.W.C. Fields I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.Woody Allen To err is human-and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Robert Orben. Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.George Bernard Shaw Please accept my resignation. I dont want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.Groucho Marx Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.Oprah Winfrey A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.Emo Philips Keyboard not found. Press to RESUME. Source unknown (appears in many common BIOSes as a real error message) Most rock journalism is people who cant write interviewing people who cant talk for people who cant read.Frank Zappa. The main difference for the history of the world if I had been shot rather than Kennedy is that Onassis probably wouldnt have married Mrs Khrushchev.Nikita Khrushchev. What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?George Carlin My ex-husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.Woody Allen O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.Saint Augustine I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.Emo Philips In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.Oscar Wilde The report of my death was an exaggeration.Mark Twain Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.Woody Allen A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.Bob Hope. Time flies when you dont know what youre doing. Theres no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.Brendan Behan Never have more children than you have car windows.Erma Bombeck Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.Don Marquis A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.Bernard Shaw I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.Paul Lynde As the poet said, Only God can make a tree - probably because its so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.Woody Allen I dont know. I dont care. And it doesnt make any difference. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.Douglas Adams. Older people shouldnt eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.Robert Orben It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind ones back, that are absolutely and entirely true.Oscar Wilde England and America are two countries divided by a common language.Bernard Shaw There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.Salvador Dali There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Mark Twain. 驾驶证考试网 /km2/ 科目二考试I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.Woody Allen How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?Woody Allen You piss me off you Salmon. Youre too expensive in restaurantsEddie Izzard I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.George Burns A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.Emo Philips People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didnt really give me a choice, did ya there, buddy?George Carlin What Dad means by see of course, is drive past