英语作文范文点评.doc

【范文一】Recently many university students launch spontaneous donations for helping classmates suffering from serious illnesses or victims in disasters. Along with the behavior of donating, the donation amount has become a controversial topic. Some even hold the opinion that the amount is a standard for measuring love. The more amounts are donated, the more help the needed can get. I support that donation for the needed is a kind of behavior which shows kind giving, unselfish and priceless devotion, benefiting in improving interpersonal relationship and building up a harmonious society. What matters a lot is not how much money is donated, but the care and support hidden behind. All in all, the behavior of donation itself should be encouraged, but it shouldnt become a competition. The money donated cannot be equated with the love and the meaning hidden. Every penny is an expression of love.【点评】文章首段引出要讨论的话题-大学生捐款现象，并引出由这一现象衍生出的人们对捐款金额的争议，甚至有的人认为捐款数目越多，需要获得帮助人受益越多。第二段提出自己对捐款一事的看法-捐款是一种行善积德，无私奉献，大公无私的行为，有助于改善人际关系，创建和谐社会。最后一段进行归纳总结，说明应该鼓励捐款这一行为，但不应该将捐款视为一种“金钱”的竞争，无论捐多捐少，每一分每一厘都意义深重。 第一段中launch spontaneous donations表示“发起自发捐款”，后面for 接的是捐款救助的对象；第二段中improving interpersonal relationship表示“改善人际关系”，building up a harmonious society表示“创建和谐社会”；第三段中的cannot be equated with表示“与相提并论”。【范文二】Internet has penetrated into all aspects of our life and work. On the Internet, we can do anything anywhere anytime, hunting jobs, chatting with friends, shopping online, and so on. What strikes us most is some students, even in primary schools, search for answers on Internet while doing their homework.The motives for dependence on Internet are various and complicated, including releasing dissatisfaction and anger against society by playing computer games, fulfilling self-value by indulging in the virtual world. Most of them are related with their environment of growing up. Without appropriate guidance, it may cause serious mental illnesses and bad habits such as laziness.In order to change the situation, governments should take measures to enrich peoples life, parents should share more time with children for understanding them better, and teachers should aim to develop students self-discipline. Most importantly, people should be aware of the harmfulness of depending on Internet too much.【点评】本题属于提纲式文字命题。文章第一段指出现象 “网络已经渗透到生活的点点滴滴，导致人们习惯于依赖网络”；第二段分析了依赖网络的动机-通过玩游戏发泄不满和怨恨情绪，在虚拟世界中实现自我价值，同时也指出其危害-导致严重的心理疾病及不良恶习。 最后一段从政府、家长、老师的不同角度提出解决意见。第二段中releasing dissatisfactory and anger 表示“发泄不满和怨恨”；indulging in the virtual world表示“沉迷于虚拟世界”；第三段中be aware of表示“意识到”。【范文三】Nowadays, the employment of college students is still the main concern since many of them cannot find jobs. When looking to the reasons, some agree it is due to the increasing enrollment of universities, some think the degradation of ability accounts, while others believe it should blame governments for not offering enough occupations.The following factors can account for this problem. First and foremost, college students hold wrong attitudes towards jobs and set their job objectives at unreasonable levels. Furthermore, college students fail to realize their own defects and to make further self-improvements. Last but by no means the least, the courses offered by colleges cannot meet the requirements of economic development. Whats more, related departments have not provided more trainings and internship opportunities, which benefit students a lot before they enter into the society.All in all, only through the combined efforts of related ones can college students find satisfactory jobs.【点评】文章第一段指出目前大学生就业难的现象，提及不同的人对待此事的看法。文章第二段引出自己对此事的看法，最后一段总结全文。在第二段陈述自己的观点时，作者分别从学生，学校及政府部分的角度着手分析，大学生对待工作期望值过高并且没有认清自身的缺点；学校课程设置跟不上经济发展的要求；政府部门未提供足够多的培训实习机会。第一段中increasing enrollment表示“扩招”；第二段中列举原因分别用First and foremost表示“首先”，Furthermore表示“其次”，Last but by no means the least表示“最后但并非最不重要”。第三段中onlycan为倒装句，表示“只有才能”。【范文四】Recently there has been a remarkable growth of fire accidents, and almost everyday we can see fire engines rushing through streets. Fires have not only resulted in heavy economic losses but also injured and killed many people. In most cases, fires are caused by casual carelessness and violation of fire safety regulations; some are due to improper usages or poor quality of electrical appliances; yet some are indirectly arisen from ignoring fire precautions. Generally speaking, fire disasters can be prevented if proper precautions will be taken. First of all, we should arouse peoples sense of alertness and let them put fire-prevention in mind and take care in daily life, such as checking electrical appliances regularly, and making sure cigarettes and stoves with no flames before leaving rooms. Furthermore, let students and children know the measures of fire control better. Last, we can add more fire facilities in high-rise buildings. 【点评】首段直接点题，说明现象；第二段分述原因；第三段呼应第二段，给出防范建议。 范文首段提出火灾频发这一普遍现象；第二段提及三个原因，分别是：粗心大意，违反火灾安全条款；家用电器质量太差或者使用不当；忽视火灾预防措施会间接导致火灾。 第三段就预防火灾的措施提出建议，首先提高民众的警惕性，从身边的小事做起，并举例说明。其次要让学生和儿童更好地了解控制火灾的方法；最后增加消防设施。第二段中的casual carelessness表示“不经意间的粗心大意”，precautions表示“预防措施”；第三段中的check electrical appliances regularly表示“定期检查家用电器”。【范文五】In the past few days, there have been frequent natural disasters, namely earthquakes, mud-rock flow, tsunami, floods and so on, which killed millions upon millions of people, destroyed countless homes. Consequently, large numbers of people have suffered psychic upheaval and deemed the doomsday of earth is coming near.As a university student, I hope people should be aware that thosedisasters are not the hints of doomsday, but just retribution of our doings on earth. So as to calm psychic upheaval, we should ta