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1、TEM-8 2011年真题翻译评析Zhang Quan评分标准忠实原意语言顺畅汉译英汉译英学生翻译试卷点评When flying over Nepal, its easy to soar in your imagination and pretend you are tiny a butterfly(1分) and drifting above one of those three-dimensional topographical maps architects use(1分), the circling contour lines replaced by the terraced rice

2、 paddies that surround each high ridge.(1分 )v学生译文1:飞行在尼泊尔上空时,很容易使你充满幻想,假设自己很小,像一只蝴蝶漂浮在建筑使用的三围地图的一面上,被每个高高边缘环绕的稻田设置成环形的线。v学生译文2:当我们飞越黎巴嫩上空时,你会很容易在想像中嘶吼,或者联想自己是一只苍蝇,轻盈地飞翔于尼泊尔三大地标性建筑物之一,在每一个高耸尖角边缘都环绕着被稻穗装饰的环形围栏。v正确译文:飞行在尼泊尔上空时很容易使人产生遐想,想象自己很小小得像只蝴蝶,飞舞在建筑师手中的三维地图上,只不过身下不是一圈圈的等高线,而是环绕在每个高高山梁上的水稻梯田。vthree

3、-dimensional topographical maps: 三维地形图varchitects: 建筑师vcircling contour line: 环状等高线vterraced rice paddies: 长满稻谷的梯田Nepal is a small country, and from the window of our plane floating eastward at 12,000 feet, one can see clearly the brilliant white mirage of the high Himalayas 30 miles off the left wi

4、ndow. 此段共2分v学生译文1:尼泊尔占地面积小,我们的飞机飞行在上空,朝东12,000英尺。透过窗户,我们可以清晰地看到距离窗户30米的著名的喜玛拉雅山脉。v学生译文2:尼泊尔是个小国家。我们的飞机正在12,000英尺的高空向西飞行,从窗户看出去,左边的窗户外,人们可以清楚地看见高耸的喜玛拉雅山就在三十英里以下。v正确译文:尼泊尔是个小国,我们的飞机正在12,000英尺高空向东飞行,左舷窗外30英里处可以清晰地望见喜马拉雅山白雪皑皑的壮观身影。vfloating eastward at 12,000 feet: (飞机)在12,000英尺的高度向东飞行。(有些考生犯“方向性”错误)vmi

5、rage: 本意为“蜃景、海市蜃楼”(如果考生译为“轮廓、景象、雄姿”都是可以接受的;也有些考生进行模糊处理,将整个短语译为“雄伟壮丽、洁白高耸的喜马拉雅山”这也可以。)v30 miles off the left window:(飞机)左窗外30英里处。(也有很多考生犯“方向性”错误)Out the right window, the view is of three or four high terraced ridges giving sudden way to the plains of India beyond. 此段共2分v学生译文1:从右边的窗户望出去,是三、四个边缘的景色给这个

6、国家一种超越印度的视野。v学生译文2:从右边的气窗眺望,映入眼帘的则是平坦广阔的印度平原上零星点点的小尖角。v正确译文:右舷窗外,三、四座阶梯状的高耸山脊一闪而过,映入眼帘的是它前方的印度平原。There were few roads visible below, most of the transportation in Nepal being by foot along ancient trails that connect and bind the country together(1分). There is also a network of dirt airstrips, which

7、 was fortunate for me, as I didnt have time for the two-and-a-half week trek to my destination. I was on a flight to the local airport. (2分) 此段共3分v学生译文1:只能看见底下有少许的公路,在尼泊尔主要的交通是古老的步行方式,这种方式使国家之间连接起来。他们也有一种网络,但对我来说是幸运的,由于我没有去进行两周半的定居生活,我在当地机场降落。v学生译文2:下面可以看见几条道路。尼泊尔大部分交通依靠了古时候的铁轨来把整个国家的道路交通贯穿了起来。那也有一个

8、肮脏的空气带形成的网。但是我很幸运,因为我没有时间在这停留,在这两个半星期的时间我必须前往我的目的地。我当时正飞往当地的飞机场。v正确译文:下面看不清有什么道路,尼泊尔出行大多靠步行,蜿蜒的古道将整个国家连成了一体。那儿也有土筑的航空跑道系统,这对我来说真是谢天谢地。因为我没时间跋涉两周半才到目的地,此刻我正飞往当地的机场。vfew roads visible: (飞机下方)几乎看不见(公)路(或灵活译为“从空中鸟瞰,几乎看不见有公路存在”)vancient trails:古老小径(有考生误译为“铁轨”)vnetwork of dirt airstrips: 土筑航空(跑道)系统(有考生将di

9、rt译为“肮脏的”,不太好,视其他词语翻译酌情考虑是否扣分。)vtrek:徒步跋涉( 如果译为“徒步旅行、艰难跋涉、走路、步行”等,可以接受。)von a flight to the local airport:(我正)在飞机上,飞往当地机场。(有考生误译为“我在当地的机场,准备起飞”)学生译文:学生译文:8 8分分v当飞行在尼泊尔上空时,一个人很容易会沉浸到自己的想象中去,想像自己是渺小的(例如一只蝴蝶)在一张建筑师用的三维图纸上方飘荡,图上环状的等高线被山坡上的一片片梯田所替代。v尼泊尔是一个小国家。此时我们正在12,000英尺的高空向东飞行。从左边的窗口向外望去,我们可以清楚地看到30英

10、里外雪色的喜玛拉雅群峰的雄姿。v从右边窗口望去,在三四座高山的后面,印度的平原便出现在我们眼前。v在飞机下方看不到多少马路。在尼泊尔,人们更多地依靠步行。有无数古老的小径将整个国家连接并联系在了一起。对我来说幸运的是,尼泊尔也有自己的航空网络。我可没时间花两个半星期走到目的地。我当时正在一架飞往当地机场的航班上。学生译文:学生译文:6 6分分v当飞机飞在尼泊尔的上空,这时你很容易自由地遐想成一只小小的蝴蝶飞舞在建筑师用的一种三维地图上,美丽的弧线被四周高峭壁环绕的冰峰所取代。v尼泊尔是一个小国家,向东飞行在海拔12,000英尺的飞机上,透过窗子,人们能清楚地看见左面窗子高出30英里的雪白的喜玛

11、拉雅山脉。v从右边的窗子,人们能看到三、四个高峭壁环绕中闪现出印度平原。v在飞机上面看不见下边有路。在尼泊尔广泛应用的交通工具是沿着古老的铁轨步行。这些轨道把整个国家连接在一起。这里也有飞机航线网,这对我来说是一件幸运的事。因为如果我没有足够的时间到需步行两周半才能到达的目的地。我搭乘一个航班到当地的机场。学生译文:学生译文:4 4分分v乘飞机经过尼泊尔时,你的想像力很容易涌出;设想自己是微小的,比如说一只蝴蝶,正在飞跃建筑师的一张图纸,这些图纸是三维立体图像,成片的水稻代替了环形线将高山团团围住。v尼泊尔是一个小国,从飞机窗户向东望去,目光延伸12,000英尺,我们可以清楚地看到喜玛拉雅山上

12、闪耀的白色奇迹,它与飞机左窗相隔30英米。v右窗外,迎入眼帘的是三四个高地突然变成了印度平原。v只能看见底下有少许的公路,尼泊尔的大部分交通是在古老的通道步行,这些通道将整个国家联在一起。尼泊尔也有空中航线。这对我来说太幸运了,因为我没有时间去花费在两个半星期到达目的地。我在当地机场降落。学生译文:学生译文:2 2分分v当飞机飞往尼泊尔上空时,在你的脑海中很容易产生一种想法并且想像假如你是一只蝴蝶飞翔在距地30,000英尺的高空,飞机围绕圆形环线飞行着。v尼泊尔是一个小国家,从距离地面12,000英尺的飞机的窗户上向东俯视,人们可以清晰地看见距离窗户30米的著名的喜玛拉雅山脉。v从右侧窗户看去

13、,三四边缘的景色给这个国家一种超越印度的视野。v下面可以看见几条道路,在尼泊尔主要的交通是古老的步行方式,这种方式使国家之间连接起来。他们也有一种网络,但对我来说是幸运的,由于我没有时间去进行两周半的定居生活。飞机正飞往当地机场。学生译文:学生译文:0 0分分 ( (网络雷同网络雷同) )v飞机飞越尼泊尔上空时。你很容易天马行空起来,假想自己很渺小像只蝴蝶在建筑师所使用的某个三维地形图上方漂浮着,在这里,地形图一圈圈的轮廓线变成了环绕高耸的山脊成阶梯状的稻田。v尼泊尔是个小国。我们的飞机在12,000英尺的高空向东飞去。从左边的机窗望去,你能清晰地看到30英里开外的高耸的喜马拉雅山的耀眼的白色

14、蜃景。v靠右边的机窗外是三、四条成梯状的高耸山脊,再往远处突然之间成了印度平原。v飞机下面看不到这几条公路。尼泊尔的交通方式以步行为主,人们沿着连接整个国家的古老小径行走着。尼泊尔也有一个土筑的飞机场网络,这对我来说很幸运,因为我没时间长途跋涉两周半的时间到达我的目的地。我在飞往当地机场的飞机上。汉译英解析TEM8(2011)TEM8(2011)汉译英试题汉语原文:汉译英试题汉语原文: 现代社会无论价值观的持有还是生活方式的选择都充满了矛盾。而最让现代人感到尴尬的是,面对重重矛盾,许多时候你却别无选择。 1 1匆忙与休闲是截然不同的两种生活方式。匆忙与休闲是截然不同的两种生活方式。22但在现实

15、生活中,但在现实生活中,人们却在这两种生活方式间频繁穿梭,有时也说不清自己到底是人们却在这两种生活方式间频繁穿梭,有时也说不清自己到底是“休休闲着闲着”还是还是“匆忙着匆忙着”。33譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦却忽然接到老板的电话,告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦 现代现代便捷先进工具在此刻显示出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容便捷先进工具在此刻显示出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容 搞得人一下子搞得人一下子兴趣全无,兴趣全无, 接下来的休闲只能徒有其表,因为心里已是火烧火燎了。接下来的休闲只能徒有其表,因为心里已是火烧火燎

16、了。1. . 汉英语义转换问题汉英语义转换问题句句11匆忙与休闲是截然不同的两种生活方式。匆忙与休闲是截然不同的两种生活方式。 句1 中“匆忙”的学生译文主要有以下一些:(1)swiftness(2)quickness (3) hustle (4) bustle(5)busyness (6) haste(7)hurry。以上(1)swiftness和(2)quickness只有“快”的意思,缺少“忙”的意思。 (3) hustle: quick energetic activity迅速而有力的活动(ALD, P524),缺少“忙”的意思。 (4) bustle: move quickly an

17、d excitedly匆忙;忙碌(ALD, P140),但通常带有“喧闹” 的意思。(5)busyness是“忙”的意思,但语义上是“匆忙”的上义词。(6) haste和(7)hurry都意为“匆忙”。 “休闲” 的学生译文主要有以下一些:(1)freedom(2)rest(3)ease(4)leisure。以上(1)freedom是“自由”。(2)rest是“休息”,不是“休闲”。(3)ease是“悠闲”,不是“休闲”。(4)leisure意为“休闲”。 “截然不同” 的正确译文主要有以下一些:(1)completely different (2)totally different(3)wh

18、olly different(4)dramatically different。 “生活方式” 的正确译文主要有以下一些:(1)lifestyles(2)ways of life(3)modes of life(4)patterns of life 句句22但在现实生活中,人们却在这两种生活方式间频繁穿梭,有时但在现实生活中,人们却在这两种生活方式间频繁穿梭,有时也说不清自己到底是也说不清自己到底是“休闲着休闲着”还是还是“匆忙着匆忙着”。 句2 中“在现实生活中”的译文主要有:(1)in the real life(2)in the actual life(3)in the real wor

19、ld(4)in reality。 从修辞方面看,英汉词语在对待“同义反复”(Tautology) 问题上是有差异的。汉语词语搭配往往使用“同义反复”;而英语词语搭配通常避免“同义反复”。(邵志洪,1994,1995) 汉语原文“现实生活”中的“现实”属于“同义反复”,以上(1)in the real life中的“real”和(2)in the actual life中的 “actual”的使用属于“同义反复”,其实可以省略不译,译为in our life等即可。 “穿梭”的学生译文主要有:(1)transmit between(2)move(3)transfer between(4)shif

20、t between(5)shuttle between。 以上“穿梭”的译文可以是(2)move(3)transfer between(4)shift between(5)shuttle between。其中(2)move语义更泛指,(5)shuttle between语义更特指。而(1)transmit between意思是“在两者之间发射信号”。 “休闲着” 的学生译文主要有以下三种:(1)in leisure(2)at a leisure(3)at leisure。以上“休闲着” 的英语表达是(3)at leisure,不是(1)in leisure和(2)at a leisure。 “

21、匆忙着” 的学生译文主要有以下三种:(1)at haste(2)in a haste(3)in haste。以上“匆忙着”的英语表达是(3)in haste,不是(1)at haste和(2)in a haste。 句句33譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦 现代便捷先进工具在此刻显示出现代便捷先进工具在此刻显示出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容了它狰狞、阴郁的面容 搞得人一下子兴趣全无,搞得人一下子兴趣全无, 接下来的休闲只接下来的休闲只能徒有其表,因为心里已是火

22、烧火燎了。能徒有其表,因为心里已是火烧火燎了。 句3 中“旅游胜地”的正确译文主要有以下一些:(1)resort(2)place of interest (3)tourist attraction(4)famous scenic spot(5)famous beauty spot。 “搞得人一下子兴趣全无”的译文主要有两类。一类是按照汉语字面,使用make或let,译文显得生硬,比如:(1)make us lose all the interest(2)let us lose all the interest。另一类是使用英语短语动词或词化的表达方法,译文更符合英语的语义结构,比如:(3)ta

23、ke all the interest away from us(4)deprive us of all the interest。 其中take away是英语短语动词,deprive意为take away,是英语词化的表达方法。 “休闲只能徒有其表”的译文主要有两类。一类是译出原文字面的“其表”,如:(1)the leisure becomes superficial(2)the leisure was only on the surface (3)the leisure was only of the surface。另一类是意译,如:(4)the so-called leisure(5

24、)the leisure in name。“心里已是火烧火燎了”是本次翻译中的难点,学生译文主要有三类。第一类是按照“火烧火燎”的字面翻译,用fire和burn等词表达,比如:(1)The fire in our heart is growing.(2)Our heart is burning.(3)Just like there burns fire in our body.(4)Our heart is filled with fire.(5)Our heart is on the fire. 以上“火烧火燎” 按照字面翻译是不妥当的,译文闹出了很多笑话。另外,即使是比喻义,英语fire和

25、burn可以表示“激动”或者“愤怒”,但是不能表示“焦急”。第二类是“火烧火燎”的音译,比如:Our heart is already HuoShao HuoLiao.“火烧火燎”的音译HuoShao HuoLiao闹出了更大的笑话。第三类是“火烧火燎”的意译,比如:(1)worried(2)anxious(3)like an ant on a hot pan;like an ant on a hot furnace(4)like a cat on hot bricks。以上“火烧火燎” 的意译是妥当的。译文(1)和(2)是无形象的意译,译文(3)和(4)是有形象的意译。译文(3)是按汉语成语

26、“像热锅上的蚂蚁”翻译的,采用的是异化方法,译文(4)是按英语成语翻译的,采用的是归化方法。我们认为,“心里已是火烧火燎了”的翻译如果能够兼顾字面和比喻义翻译,译文可以更加忠实原文,试译如下:( the tourists, who) have been laden with burning anxiety.(邵志洪译)2. 汉英形态表现问题汉英形态表现问题句1学生译文: (1)Hasty and leisurely are two completely different lifestyles. (2)Haste and leisure is two completely different

27、lifestyles. (3)Haste or leisure is two completely different lifestyles. (4)Haste and leisure are two complete different lifestyles. (5)Haste and leisure are two complete differently lifestyles. (6)Haste and leisure are two completely different lifestyle.以上学生译文(1)Hasty and leisurely属主语词性形态错误,类似的形态错误的

28、译文还有:Busy and free,Busy and freedom,Business and leisurely,Being leisure or haste,Hurryness and leisure,Rushes and leisureness等等。译文(2)Haste and leisure is,属谓语动词形态错误,因为Haste and leisure 是复数概念,应该使用are。译文(3)Haste or leisure is,也属谓语动词形态错误,因为后面的two completely different lifestyles是复数概念,也应该使用are。译文(4)中 com

29、plete different lifestyles,complete 修饰的是different,因此应该改为completely different lifestyles。译文(5)中complete differently lifestyles, complete 修饰的是differently,differently 修饰的是lifestyles,因此也应该改为completely different lifestyles。译文(6)Haste and leisure are two completely different lifestyle. 主语Haste and leisure

30、,谓语动词are和two都是复数概念,因此宾语lifestyle应该使用复数lifestyles。 句2学生译文(1):But in reality, person now tend to be in a frequent hurry among the two lifestyles, and sometimes even themselves couldnt tell whether he is at leisure or in a hurry. (2分样卷) 以上译文出自一份2分样卷,形态上错误很多,主要是数(number)、格(case)的问题。人们应该用people ,而不是perso

31、n。 “两种(生活方式)间”应该是between., 而不是among .。原文“有时也说不清自己到底是休闲着还是匆忙着”,译文主语是they, 是themselves;whether he is应改为whether they are。试比较:cf. But in reality, people now tend to be in a frequent hurry between the two lifestyles, and sometimes even they couldnt tell whether they are at leisure or in a hurry.句3学生译文(1)

32、:For example, we may receipt a phone call from our work or our clients. But at the very moment, we are enjoying our vacation in the sites of tourist interesting. In this case, the modern, convenience and advance tool demonstrates its ferocious and gloom aspect, spoiling the cheer mood of us. The res

33、tness of the vacation is unlike to live up to its name because of anxious troubling us. 以上译文主要错误是“词性”(parts of speech)问题。试比较修改后的划线部分:cf. For example, we may receive a phone call from our work or our clients. But at the very moment, we are enjoying our vacation in the sites of tourist interest. In th

34、is case, the modern, convenient and advanced tool demonstrates its ferocious and gloomy aspect, spoiling the cheerful mood of us. The rest of the vacation is unlikely to live up to its name because of the anxiety troubling us.句3学生译文(2):For example, while we are enjoying our holidays at a resorts, su

35、ddenly there are telephone call from our boss. The boss inform us that great troubles has occurred in our clients or works. The convenient and advanced tools of modern time has shown the vicious and gloomy side which make us loose all the interests. After that, the leisures only have their names. We

36、 are very worried. 以上译文主要错误是“数”(number)的形态问题。试比较修改后的划线部分:cf. For example, while we are enjoying our holidays at a resort, suddenly there are telephone calls from our boss. The boss informs us that great troubles have occurred in our clients or work. The convenient and advanced tools of modern times

37、have shown the vicious and gloomy side which makes us loose all the interest. After that, the leisure only has its name. We are very worried.句3学生译文(3): For example, when we were enjoying our holidays at a resort, suddenly your boss called you, yelling that our clients and work had got some troubles.

38、 The modern, convenient and advanced tools showed you its face of viciousness and gloom. It made us worry about the work without the mood to travel. Therefore, your rest in the following days can only be superficial. 以上译文主要错误是人称使用的不一致,在“我们”和“你们”之间变化,以致分不清是“我们”还是“你们”了。试比较修改后的划线部分:cf. For example, whe

39、n we were enjoying our holidays at a resort, suddenly our boss called us, yelling that our clients and work had got some troubles. The modern, convenient and advanced tools showed us its face of viciousness and gloom. It made us worry about the work without the mood to travel. Therefore, our rest in

40、 the following days could only be superficial.英语译文时体使用问题英语译文时体使用问题总的来说,学生译文中句1和句2的时态误用比较普遍。 句1 学生译文:Haste and leisure were two completely different lifestyles. 以上译文用了过去时,译文的回译是:匆忙与休闲曾经是截然不同的两种生活方式。译文的意义完全变了。因此,译文应该用现在时,试比较:cf. Haste and leisure are two completely different lifestyles. 句2 学生译文:Howeve

41、r, in reality, people shifted from one lifestyle to another so swiftly that sometimes even they themselves could not tell whether they were busy or at leisure. 以上译文用了过去时,译文的回译是:但在现实生活中,人们过去却在这两种生活方式间频繁穿梭,有时也说不清自己过去到底是“休闲着”还是“匆忙着”。 译文的意义完全变了。因此,译文应该用现在时, 试比较:cf. However, in reality, people shift from

42、 one lifestyle to another so swiftly that sometimes even they themselves can not tell whether they are busy or at leisure. 总的来说,学生译文中句3进行体(progressive aspect),完成体(perfect aspect)和将来时间的表达问题较多。以一份样卷为例: 句3 学生译文:For example, we enjoyed our holiday at a tourist attraction, and we were surprised by a call

43、 from our boss, which had said that there was a problem on the part of our clients or work. At this moment the modern, convenient and advanced means of communication was going to show its monstrous and gloomy face, which had taken our entire attraction away from the sightseeing. Consequently, the re

44、st of our leisure time had been sightseeing for sightseeings own sake, for our heart burned with worries and anxiety. 以上译文的回译是:譬如说,当我们曾经(cf. 正)在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,已经告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦 现代便捷先进工具在此刻将显示出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容已经搞得人一下子兴趣全无,接下来的休闲已经只能徒有其表,因为心里曾经(cf. 已)是火烧火燎了。可以看到,以上译文主要是进行体,完成体和将来时间的表达问题。试比较修改后的译文的划线部分:

45、cf. For example, we were enjoying our holiday at a tourist attraction, and we were surprised by a call from our boss, which said that there had been a problem on the part of our clients or work. At this moment the modern, convenient and advanced means of communication showed its monstrous and gloomy

46、 face, which took our entire attraction away from the sightseeing. Consequently, the rest of our leisure time would be sightseeing for sightseeings own sake, for our heart had been burning with worries and anxiety.英语译文时态不一致问题英语译文时态不一致问题学生译文中有许多英语译文时态不一致的情况,影响了译文的质量。以一份样卷为例:Busyness and leisure are t

47、wo totally different lifestyles. In real life, however,people constantly shifted between the two lifestyles. Sometimes we cannot tell whether we are busy or at leisure. For example, when we are enjoying our holiday at a tourist attraction, our boss suddenly called, telling us there is something wron

48、g with our clients or work. The advanced and portable instrument of modern times suddenly displayed its cruel and gloomy side. The good mood is killed. All we have is leisure in appearance because we are intensively worried. 以上译文时态在现在和过去之间随意转换,说不清到底是“现在”还是“过去”。其实,全篇可以都用现在时,如以下译文(1)。也可以是句1和句2用现在时,句3用

49、过去时,如以下译文(2)。试比较:cf. 译文(1):Busyness and leisure are two totally different lifestyles. In real life, however,people constantly shift between the two lifestyles. Sometimes we cannot tell whether we are busy or at leisure. For example, when we are enjoying our holiday at a tourist attraction, our boss

50、suddenly calls, telling us there is something wrong with our clients or work. The advanced and portable instrument of modern times suddenly displays its cruel and gloomy side. The good mood is killed. All we have is leisure in appearance because we are intensively worried. cf. 译文(2):Busyness and lei

51、sure are two totally different lifestyles. In real life, however,people constantly shift between the two lifestyles. Sometimes we cannot tell whether we are busy or at leisure. For example, when we were enjoying our holiday at a tourist attraction, our boss suddenly called, telling us there was some

52、thing wrong with our clients or work. The advanced and portable instrument of modern times suddenly displayed its cruel and gloomy side. The good mood was killed. All we had was leisure in appearance because we were intensively worried.汉英句法形态对比与翻译汉英句法形态对比与翻译汉译英汉语原文的句子只有3句,是历年来句子数量最少的一次,但是句式非常流散,尤其是第

53、3句: 譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,譬如说,当我们正在旅游胜地享受假期,却忽然接到老板的电话,告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦告诉我们客户或工作方面出了麻烦 现代便捷先进工具在此刻显示现代便捷先进工具在此刻显示出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容出了它狰狞、阴郁的面容 搞得人一下子兴趣全无,接下来的休闲搞得人一下子兴趣全无,接下来的休闲只能徒有其表,因为心里已是火烧火燎了。只能徒有其表,因为心里已是火烧火燎了。 第3句与英语的句式差别悬殊,译文句子结构必须作较大调整,重新组织,这给英语译文表达造成了很大困难。 汉语句子是开放性的“竹式结构”,根据思维之流来安排句法单位的排列顺序,

54、在意的是“思维之流”。而英语句子是封闭性的“树式结构”,句子结构必须重“形”。英语是以动词形态变化为主轴的句法结构模式,意义紧紧与句法形态结合。(徐通锵,1991)从句式来说,汉语句式呈“流散型”(diffusiveness),英语句式呈“聚集型”(compactness)。汉语不受形态的约束,没有主谓形式协调一致的关系,也就没有这种关系可以驾驭全句。汉语主谓结构具有很大的多样性、复杂性和灵活性,因而句式呈“流散型”(diffusiveness)。英语句子有严谨的主谓结构。这个结构通常由名词性短语和动词性短语构成。主语不可或缺,谓语动词是句子的中心,两者协调一致,提纲挈领,聚集各种关系网络。因

55、此,英语句子主次分明,层次清楚,前呼后拥,严密规范,句式呈“聚集型”(compactness)。(连淑能,1993:29)根据谓语动词的类别和特征,英语的主谓结构有五种基本句型,即,SV, SVP, SVO, SVoO, SVOC:(1)主语+动词 The telephone rang.(2)主语+动词+表语 She appeared cheerful.(3)主语+动词+宾语 Labour created man.(4)主语+动词+间接宾语+直接宾语 She sang us a song.(5)主语+动词+宾语+宾语补足语 He painted the door green. 英语各种长短句子

56、,一般可以看作是这五种基本句型及其变式、扩展、组合、省略或倒装。学生译文中有关汉语“流散型”句式与英语“聚集型” 句式之间的转换存在一系列的问题,以下选择主要的一些问题逐一分析。 (1) (1) 很多学生译文按照句很多学生译文按照句11汉语原文的句式翻译,导致了形态上错误汉语原文的句式翻译,导致了形态上错误的译文。比如:的译文。比如: 句1匆忙与休闲是截然不同的两种生活方式。(1)Hurry and leisure are completely two different ways of life.(2)Hurry and leisure are completely the two diff

57、erent ways of life.(3)Haste and leisure are distinct two lifestyles.(4)Haste and leisure are the distinct two lifestyles. 以下是句法形态正确的译文,试比较:(1)Hurry and leisure are two completely different ways of life.(2)Hurry and leisure are the two completely different ways of life.(3)Haste and leisure are two di

58、stinct lifestyles.(4)Haste and leisure are the two distinct lifestyles.(2) (2) 学生译文中普遍存在按照汉语原文标点形式翻译的情况。比如:学生译文中普遍存在按照汉语原文标点形式翻译的情况。比如: Hurry and leisure are two distinct ways of living. But in real life, people are constantly travelling between the two ways of living, sometimes (they) cannot tell w

59、hether they are in a hurry or at leisure. For example, when we are enjoying a vacation at a resort,( we )suddenly get a phone call from our boss, tell us that there are some problems with our clients or our workthe modern, convenient and advanced tool at this moment reveals its cruel and gloomy natu

60、re makes people loose all the interest all of a sudden, the remaining leisure looses all its meanings, because we are already worried about the problems as there is a fire burning in our heart. 以上学生译文按照汉语原文标点形式,其结果是原文句式像汉语“流散型”的。句2和句3译文就出现了英语中“一逗到底”(comma splice)的错误句式。试比较: cf. Hurry and leisure are

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