高三英语书面表达评讲专题

1、编辑课件1书面表达书面表达评讲探讨评讲探讨编辑课件2书面表达如何写？书面表达如何写？五个步骤1、审题、审题文字信息文字信息图画信息图画信息题材、人称、时态、要点题材、人称、时态、要点2、以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句、以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句 话的细节要点。话的细节要点。3、联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点、联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点 的词语扩展成句子。的词语扩展成句子。4 、联句成文：、联句成文：注意：注意：主语和谓语主语和谓语背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等）背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等）逻辑关系逻辑关系开头与结尾开头与结尾语篇衔接语篇衔接5、检查修改，规范

2、抄写、检查修改，规范抄写编辑课件3黄冈市黄冈市2009年三月高三年级质量检测书面表达：年三月高三年级质量检测书面表达：第二节：短文写作（共第二节：短文写作（共1题，满分题，满分25分）分） 假如你是某公司的产品推销员，请用英语介绍下面假如你是某公司的产品推销员，请用英语介绍下面的产品：的产品： 1. 产品名称：产品名称：NOAH-DICT 2. 产地：产地： 中国深圳中国深圳 3. 厂家：厂家：Chengxin Company Ltd. 4. 产品特点：电子词典，储存百万单词和短语产品特点：电子词典，储存百万单词和短语,实实现中英互译，仿真人发音，提供电子书籍下载功能。采现中英互译，仿真人发音

3、，提供电子书籍下载功能。采用用20年的研究成果，由高级电脑科技控制，轻金属制成，年的研究成果，由高级电脑科技控制，轻金属制成，体小，易携带，易操作，价格合理。体小，易携带，易操作，价格合理。 注意：词数注意：词数100左右。左右。编辑课件4five steps for the writing practice: Step 1: examine the topicStyle:_ tense:_ person:_说明文说明文 （Introductory Writing ） presentthird编辑课件5Step 2: list the main points1. 产品名称产品名称 name N

4、OAH-DICT / the product whose name is NOAH-DICT产地产地 make/ produce in Shenzhen3. 电子词典电子词典 electronic dictionary / e-dictionary4. 储存百万单词和词汇储存百万单词和词汇 store millions of words and phrases with a capacity of millions of words and phrases 实现中英互译实现中英互译 perform a two-way translation仿真人发音仿真人发音 imitate / resemb

5、le a real persons pronunciation7. 提供电子书籍下载功能提供电子书籍下载功能 provide / have the function of downloading electronic books编辑课件6Step 2: list the main points采用采用20年的研究成果年的研究成果 adopt / apply the technical result accumulate by 20-year research由高级电脑科技控制由高级电脑科技控制 control by high / advanced technology 轻金属制成轻金属制成 b

6、e made of light metal 11. 体小体小 small in size / its volume is very small12. 易携带易携带 easy to carry / it is convenient to carry13. 易操作易操作 easy to operate14. 价格合理价格合理 price is reasonable / sell at an attractive price编辑课件7Step 3: make some sentences:产品名称产品名称 产地产地 电子词典电子词典 NOAH-DICT is an electronic dictio

7、nary made in Shenzhen.储存百万单词和词汇储存百万单词和词汇 The dictionary can store 1 million words and phrases.3. 实现中英互译实现中英互译 The dictionary can make a two-way translation between Chinese and English come true.4. 仿真人发音仿真人发音 5. 提供电子书籍下载功能提供电子书籍下载功能6. 采用采用20年的研究成果年的研究成果 It is the technical result of the companys 20-y

8、ear research. 7.由高级电脑科技控制由高级电脑科技控制 8. 轻金属制成轻金属制成 体小体小 易携带易携带 It is made of light metal and its volume is small, so it is convenient to carry.9.易操作易操作 价格合理价格合理 It is easy to operate and its price is reasonable.The dictionary can imitate a real persons pronunciation.It also provides the function of do

9、wnloading e-books.It is controlled by advanced computer technology.编辑课件8Step 4:Connect the sentences and make some appolishment.Step 5:Copy it out carefully and clearly.编辑课件9One possible version(参考范文参考范文) NOAH-DICT is a very powerful e-dictionary made in Shenzhen, China. It is the latest product of

10、Chengxin Company Ltd. with a large vocabulary of 1 million words and terms stored in it. So you can look up any word you meet in your Senior period. Whats more, the e-dictionary can perform a two-way translation between Chinese and English, which helps you study more efficiently. Additionally, it ca

11、n perfectly imitate a real persons pronunciation. It also provides the function of downloading e-books. NOAH-DICT is controlled by advanced computer technology, which is the technical result of the companys 20-year research. The body of the NOAH-DICT is made of light metal. Therefore it is small in

12、size and very convenient to carry. Besides, it is easy to operate. The price is reasonable. It is a wise choice for English learners. 编辑课件10第五档（很好）：（第五档（很好）：（21-25分）分）要点完整，表达清楚，无重大语法错误。要点完整，表达清楚，无重大语法错误。完全完成了试题规定的任务。完全完成了试题规定的任务。-覆盖所有内容要点。覆盖所有内容要点。-应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。-语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较

13、复杂结构或词汇所致；语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或词汇所致； 具备较强的语言运用能力。具备较强的语言运用能力。-有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。完全达到了预期的写作目的。完全达到了预期的写作目的。第四档（好）：（第四档（好）：（16-20分）分）表达基本清楚，缺少个别要点，有些语法错误。表达基本清楚，缺少个别要点，有些语法错误。完成了试题规定的任务。完成了试题规定的任务。-覆盖主要内容。覆盖主要内容。-应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。-语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，

14、些许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语 法结构或词汇所致。法结构或词汇所致。-应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。达到了预期的写作目的。达到了预期的写作目的。第三档（适当）：（第三档（适当）：（11-15分）分）尚能表达，缺少多个要点，语法错误较多。尚能表达，缺少多个要点，语法错误较多。基本完成了试题规定的任务。基本完成了试题规定的任务。-基本覆盖主要内容。基本覆盖主要内容。-应用的语法结构或词汇能基本满足任务的要求。应用的语法结构或词汇能基本满足任务的要求。-有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错

15、误，但不影响理解。有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。-应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。高高 考考 短短 文文 写写 作作 评评 分分 标标 准准编辑课件11第四部分：书面表达（满分第四部分：书面表达（满分25分）分） 假设你是卜曼宜，你购假设你是卜曼宜，你购买了一部某外国公司生买了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问产的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。题，要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英请根据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。文写一封电子邮件。要点：

16、要点：问题：问题：手机不响铃，不能发短手机不响铃，不能发短信；该产品已售完，无信；该产品已售完，无法更换；型号新，无配法更换；型号新，无配件，无法维修。件，无法维修。2. 要求：公司应尽快予以要求：公司应尽快予以更换。更换。 注意：注意：1. 词数为词数为100左右；左右；2. 参考词汇：配件参考词汇：配件 spare part3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好（不计入你已为你写好（不计入你所写词数）；所写词数）；4. 已给出的电子邮件的开已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。卡。 When I bought it home, I found t

17、here were several problems about the quality of the mobile phone. There is no ring in the new mobile phone, besides, it can not be used to send short messages. When I want back to the local company, the manager told me this product has sold out and that I wasnt able to change it. Whats worse, this s

18、tyle mobile phone is a new product, there is no spare part and cant to be repaired. These problems worries me most. I hope your company would change it for me as soon as possible. 【分析】基本表达清楚；时态运用恰当；采用了些简单连接手法；内容较连贯；准确性不够。 中国式英语语态错误动词用法错误单词误用15编辑课件12第四部分：书面表达（满分第四部分：书面表达（满分25分）分） 假设你是卜曼宜，你购买假设你是卜曼宜，你

19、购买了一部某外国公司生产了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问题，的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。请根要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英文写据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。一封电子邮件。要点：要点：问题：问题：手机不响铃，不能发短手机不响铃，不能发短信；该产品已售完，无信；该产品已售完，无法更换；型号新，无配法更换；型号新，无配件，无法维修。件，无法维修。2. 要求：公司应尽快予以更要求：公司应尽快予以更换。换。注意：注意：1. 词数为词数为100左右；左右；2. 参考词汇：配件参考词汇：配件 spare part3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾已电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好（不计入你所

20、为你写好（不计入你所写词数）；写词数）；4. 已给出的电子邮件的开头已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。和结尾不得抄入答题卡。 However, some problems are presented with this mobile phone. In the first place, when there are phone calls, the mobile phone just cant ring. In addition, short messages can never be sent. when I came back to the mall for exchange,

21、I was disappointed to be told that this model had been sold out. Worse still, it is a new model, thus no spare part is available at the moment. Nowhere can I have this phone repaired. Maybe there are some alternatives to handle this case, but I hope it can be dealt with and solved as soon as possibl

22、e. In brief, my personal viewpoint is that you replace this mobile phone. Im looking forward to your reply.【分析】全文共九个句子,其中有两个时间状语从句,一个并列句;一个倒装句;一个表语从句。运用了however,in the first place,in addition, worse still, in brief 五个过渡性词汇。运用了available, alternative两个较高级词语。whenwhenbutNowhere canIis thatHoweverIn thef

23、irst place,Inaddition,WorsestillIn brief,availablealternatives25编辑课件13编辑课件14编辑课件1520编辑课件16学生作品学生作品 (6班班 王军王军) A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put on sale lately. It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has man

24、y advantages, one of which is that the dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can translate Chinese into English each other in a voice which resembles extremely real peoples voice. Whats more, more information and books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by

25、twenty years efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that t

26、he new product will be a good friend in your life.【高分的理由】【高分的理由】1. 各种句式及结构的合理运用各种句式及结构的合理运用过去分词过去分词作定语的作定语的运用运用定语从句定语从句的运用的运用强调句型，表语从句，形强调句型，表语从句，形式主语句型，宾语从句的式主语句型，宾语从句的运用运用【高分的理由】【高分的理由】2. 连接词的适当运用连接词的适当运用【高分的理由】【高分的理由】3. 要点全面，时态正确要点全面，时态正确编辑课件17学生作品学生作品 A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put o

27、n sale lately. It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has many advantages, one of which is that the dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can translate Chinese into English each other in a voice

28、which resembles extremely real peoples voice. Whats more, more information and books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by twenty years efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you

29、to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that the new product will be a good friend in your life.electrical 应改为应改为 electronicconvienient 的正确书写为的正确书写为convenient【美中不足】【美中不足】部分表达欠准确部分表达欠准确编辑课件1814编辑课件19【分

30、数不理想的原因】【分数不理想的原因】1. 多处表达或用词不准确多处表达或用词不准确2. 基础词汇拼写错误基础词汇拼写错误3. 过渡衔接不自然过渡衔接不自然4. 文面不整洁文面不整洁编辑课件20学生作品佳句欣赏学生作品佳句欣赏 Our company has produced a new product named NOAH-DICT, which is made in Shenzhen, China. (18班吴胜莉班吴胜莉) Designed by Chengxin company Ltd, the electronic dictionary named NOAH-DICT was prod

31、uced in Shenzhen, China. ( 20班李瑞洁班李瑞洁) The new product is an electronic dictionary which can store millions of words as well as expressions. (6班肖红班肖红) This kind of electronic dictionary contains millions of words and expressions which are essential for both middle school students and college student

32、s. (18班江静班江静) Two decades of hard work with thousands of failures, our researchers make the breakthrough eventually, that is, the NOAH-DICT. (18班刘琬班刘琬) What deserves attention is that the product is the achievement of nearly 20 years research. (6班王超班王超)编辑课件21 It is more a small computer than a norma

33、l dictionary. (18班刘琬班刘琬) It has so many functions that it is almost as smart as a computer. (20班杨凯班杨凯) Downloading e-books is also available for you. (18班刘琬班刘琬) It provides the function of downloading the electronic books to broaden your horizons. (18班李辰班李辰) The volume of NOAH-DICT is small, thus it can be carried and operated easily. (6班刘小晶班刘小晶) Wherever you go you can carry it conveniently for its small size. (6班黄冬班黄冬) Whats the most important is that its price is very reasonable. (18班方新班方新)学生作品佳句欣赏学生作品佳句欣赏编辑课件22Common mistakes in our writing(Common mistakes in our writing(学生出现