新高考读后续写高分素材-微技能之细节描写

1、精选优质文档-倾情为你奉上精选优质文档-倾情为你奉上专心-专注-专业专心-专注-专业精选优质文档-倾情为你奉上专心-专注-专业新高考读后续写高分素材 - 微技能之细节描写读后续写 微技能之细节描写 1高考中续写的文体主要为记叙文。顾名思义，记叙文主要以记叙事件为主，因此需要用到许多的细节描写以使文章生动， 言之有物。不少学生语言功底不错，但是续写始终得不了高分，其中一个原因可能就是细节描写的缺乏。那么，续写该如何写呢？我们应该做到兼顾概括描述和细节描述，而且要多用细节描述。所谓概括描述是指对一个事件的总体描述，而细节描述则是对事件的具体描述，来对之前的总体描述进一步解释说明，这样能够使得描述更

2、加生动，有画面感。举例：如表达一个人的疲累时，可用概括描述： she felt exhausted. 同时辅以细节描述 She feltexhausted and sat by the stream, resting her aching feet.如果大家注意这些细节的描述，一定会为你的记叙文续写增色！“感到害怕”的细节描述当看到那只凶恶的狼时，我感到很害怕。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1） _2） _3） _参考答案：At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I fel

3、t very scared. 1）At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I felt so scared that my throat tightened and my kneesfelt weak. (嗓子发紧，膝盖发软 )2）At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I froze with terror, too scared to move an inch .(吓呆了，不敢动弹 )3）At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I was seized by a strong sense of

4、horror and my palmswere sweating. (被深深地恐惧感所控制，手心出汗 )表感到兴奋 thrilled当主持人宣布她获奖时，她兴奋极了。11、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1） _2） _3） _参考答案：When the host announced that she won the prize, she felt thrilled. 1) When the host announced that she won the prize, her eyes twinkled wit

5、h excitement. （激动得两眼放光）2) When the host announced that she won the prize, her heart was thumping withexcitement. (激动得心砰砰跳 )3) When the host announced that she won the prize, a wide excitement took hold of her. (兴奋不能自已 )感到悲伤 一听到那个坏消息，她悲伤不已。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1

6、） _2） _3） _参考答案： Upon hearing the bad news, she felt extremely sad. 1）Upon hearing the bad news, her heart ached, tears streaming down her cheeks. (心痛，眼泪直流 )2）Upon hearing the bad news, she, numb with grief, had trouble speaking. (悲伤到失去知觉，不能开口说话 )3Upon hearing the bad news, she felt seized by a burs

7、t of sadness and couldn t help cryingbitterly. (被一股悲伤之感控制，忍不住哭泣 ) 当妈妈亲吻他时，小 baby 开心极了。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_22、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1） _2） _3） _参考答案：When his mother kissed him on the cheek, the baby was happy/delighted/full of joy.) When his mother kissed him on the cheek, it seemed a

8、s if the baby were on top of theworld. (非常开心 )2) When the mother kissed the baby on the cheek, his face beamed and his bright smile litup the room. (眉开眼笑；笑容照亮房间 )3) When the mother kissed the baby on the cheek, his eyes danced with joy andsweetness. (欢欣雀跃 )感到羞愧 的细节描述她感到非常羞愧。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_

9、(答案见底部 Key 1)2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1）_2）_3）_(答案见底部 Key 2)参考答案：Key 1: She felt ashamed.Key 2:1) She felt so ashamed that she could feel her face burning .( 脸上滚烫 )2) So ashamed was she that she could feel the blood rush to her face . (血液涌上脸颊 )3) So ashamed did she feel that she was close

10、to tears . ( 快哭了 ) Sheldon 感到非常生气。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。31） _2） _3） _参考答案：Key 1: Sheldon felt very angry.Key 2:1) Sheldon felt so angry that he stormed out of the room, slamming the door furiously behindhim. (冲出房间；狠狠摔门 )2) Boiling with rage , Sheldon shook his f

11、ist at me . (怒火中烧；挥舞拳头 )3) Filled with fury , Sheldon was unable to utter a single word . (充满愤怒；说不出话 ) Tony 感到很绝望。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。_2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1） _2） _3） _参考答案：Key 1: Tony felt hopeless/desperate.Key 2:1) As the result of an accident, Tony was suddenly thrown into a wo

12、rld of darkness and sankinto hopelessness . (被投入黑暗之中；陷入绝望 )2) Tony felt left out and was getting desperate with loneliness. ( 感觉被遗忘、忽视 )3) Tonys beliefs in looking forward and seeing the positive in everything deserted him. 1、踉踉跄跄_2、悄悄地走_3、猛冲_(答案见底部 )4Keys: The player lost his balance, staggered bac

13、k and toppled over . 这个运动员失去了平衡，向后趔趄摔倒了。 She slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the window. 她溜下床，踮起脚尖走向窗户。 3. Theminion made a rush for the door and escaped from the scene. 小黄人向门冲去，逃离了现场。人的说话方式”细节描述说话的方式多种多样， 如果都用 talk 就显得索然无味， 也不够准确， 所以要多积累各种各样的表达。1、说长道短；八卦_2、小声咕哝_3、嚎叫_(答案见底部 )Keys: The whole compan

14、y is gossiping about the reason for his dismissal. 整个公司都在谈论他被免职的原因。 He murmured against the strict rules of the reality show. 他私下低声抱怨真人秀的严苛规则。 Treated so unfairly, she howled in pain and anger . 被如此不公正地对待，她痛苦而又愤怒的嚎叫。细节描述之 “思考”如何表达一个人暗自思索时的样子对学生来说是很困难的，大多数情况下，学生往往会选择避开，但是，人无时无刻不在思考，强行避开会使得故事内容上有些不衔接。

15、所以，今天我们就一起来学习一下如何表达一个人的思考神态。 得知问题所在之后，他的大脑开始急速运转，想要想出一个好的解决方案。_ 独自一人时，他总是会想到那可怕的经历。_ 在他洗澡时，突然想到了一个好主意。_(答案见底部 )Keys:5 After he knew what the problem was, his mind began to race , trying to think ofa good solution. ( 大脑飞速运转 ) alone, he would always be haunted by that horrible experience. ( 不好的回忆 萦绕心头

16、挥之不去 ) When he was taking a shower, a brilliant idea suddenly crossed his mind. ( 突然闪过某人的脑海 )细节描述之 “describe a peaceful scene ”今天，我们来看看该如何描述安静祥和的场景。 享受阳光_ 山间有小屋和田地_ 入暮时分，芦苇随风飘扬_(答案见底部 )Keys: When I was bathed in the sunlight, it felt like the amber-like sunshine waskissing every inch of my skin . (

17、沐浴在阳光下；琥珀色的阳光亲吻着全身的肌肤 ) Mist-covered mountains were dotted with small farms and villages. ( 点缀着) The sound of my footsteps was accompanied only by the gracefully wavingreeds. ( 优雅地随风飘扬的芦苇 )细节描述之 “describe stormy weather ”今天，我们来看看该如何描述风雨交加的天气。 乌云密布_ 劲风恶浪肆虐_ 暴雨疾风_(答案见底部 )Keys: The sky is overcast , da

18、rkened with gloomy clouds .(乌云密布；黑云压顶 ) On that dark and stormy night, the waves were crashing and the winds were howling . (海浪肆意拍打；劲风咆哮 )6 The rain came pouring down , the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against thehouse. ( 暴风骤雨 )读后续写对话中的常见误区1 废话连篇，无助推动情节发展，刻画人物性格。“Hey, how are ” “Imfine,

19、 how are ”“ the weather?” “Terrific ! Nice day for a walk, isn t it? ”评析：这样的对话在现实生活中很真实，但是小说毕竟是艺术加工，无助情节推动的，不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。2 追求花哨，过度使用对话标签 dialogue tags“That is fantastic news,”he said happily.评析：此句中完全没有必要加上一个 happily 来表达说的方式，因为句中的 fantastic 一词足以说明说话人了表情，过度强调 dialogue tags 会让读者的注意力集中在“说

20、话的方式”而不是“说话的内容”。建议改为：“ That is fantastic news ！”he said/screamed/exclaimed. ( 一个感叹号和一个fantastic 已经足以让读者想象当时的情景。适当的“艺术留白”也是需要的，这样会留给读者想象的空间。还有一种避免过度的 dialogue tags 的方法是运用“动作描写”来取而代之。如：Her eyes reflected the candlelight as she smiled at her son. “Everyone is unique.Just follow your heart and be yourse

21、lf! ”3 用词不当，错误使用对话标签 dialogue tagsI cant believe it, Emma gasped.Thats hilarious, Henry chuckled.评析：以上两句话也是我在大量的学生习作甚至是范文中发现的。这里 把动作描写和dialogue tags 混淆了，试想谁能 gasp（喘息）、chuckle （轻笑）出一句话？除非他或她有特异功能。纠正方法如下：I cant believe it , Emma said with a gasp.（Question tag+ with 介词短语）Emma I cant believe it.（动作描写句号）

22、7I cant believe it . Emma gasped.（对话句断动作描写）Thats hilarious ! Henry chuckled.（感叹句结束 动作描写）Thats hilarious , Henry said, chuckling.（Question tag+ 分词做伴随状况）请特别关注以上 对话的标点。4 多此一举，对话对象十分明确，仍使用对话标签“I told you already, ”I said, glaring.评析：此句貌似豪华，其实 对话中的主语“ I”已经清晰地说明了说话者，完全没有必要用question tag “I said ” 来说明说话对象 。

23、纠正方法：加上一点动作描写就可以避免这种错误，并且提升语言的生动性 。I glared at him. “Itold you already. ”5 频用副词，词汇贫乏 只会tell 不会show“How can you do this ？”she said angrily ，looking at me furiously.评析：此句也是貌似“高大上”，使用了大量副词，并且套用了分词做伴随的句型。 任何方面都有度，过之而不及。过度堆砌辞藻会让人生厌，过度使用副词也会让阅卷老师觉得你词汇贫乏，非得用副词才能表达出来。2 大纠正办法：1）积累相关的 show 的词汇来避免过度使用副词2）穿插动作描

24、写辅助对话，刻画人物心情试比较以下两句：“Thatsnot what you said yesterday, ” she said, her voice implying she waswithdrawing.“Thatsnot what you said yesterday. ” She hesitated, turned and walked to thewindow.评析：两句话粗看都是相当不错。无论从词汇和语法结构的使用似乎都属于上乘之作。 但细细琢磨下面这句反而更高一筹。原因是，第一句用了 imply 和withdraw 两词来tell 说话者she 的心情，而第二句 hesitat

25、e 和后面的动作描写让她的犹豫心情跃然纸上。 小说故事要的就是这种 show的方式。分析对话实例，揭示对话秘诀Example 1原文内容：作者爸爸在阳台种植康乃馨，悉心呵护，作者一家都非常喜欢这些花。爸妈再三8强调不允许作者和他姐姐不能触碰这些花。To our surprise, Dad was mad about it, yelling at us, “Dont you know touchingis not allowed? What on earth ha ve you done? ”赏析：反义疑问句和 on earth 的使用加强了语气，凸显了父亲的生气。Example 2原文内容：母

26、亲去世，哥哥外出。父女相约吃饭， 引发了女儿对母亲和哥哥的思念，父亲读懂了女儿内心的想法，安慰女儿。母亲在天堂一定希望他们过得快乐，现在他们需要做的就是珍惜身边的人。Seeing this, my father lovingly held my hands and said to me , “Sweetheart, Ibelieve your mother must want you to live happily, so say goodbye to the past andembrace the present. Your brother and I will always be with

27、 you. ”赏析：情感类的对话要求感人，触及内心，这点此对话做的不错。但是小编也要对此对话提出点意见 ）文中的 andsaid to me完全没有必要，因为对话对象非常清楚，肯定和我说。）your mother 显得太疏远，亲人间相互称呼用 即可，更显真实，贴近生活。Example 3原文内容：作者家突然停电，虽然弟弟觉得停电时间非常无聊，但是作者却非常享受停电时间，享受“没有现代电子科技带来的干扰”的宁静片刻。Bzzz! The lights return. “Yeah, no morecandles! ”Mymother yells, pulling meawayfrom my fant

28、asy.赏析：对话简洁自然，表达了说话者恢复用电时候的兴奋，对话外面的 dialogue tag 也很出色，分词的使用既丰富了语言也推动了情节的进一步发展。Exa l e 4原文内容 ：主人 公 Jenny 通过自 身的劳动 获得了心 爱的项链 ，形影不离。父亲每日给她讲 睡前故事。父亲 故意试探 女儿，问是否 可以把项链给他。Jenny 深爱爸爸但不舍自 己努力得来的项链。A w eek l at er , h er f at her o nce a gai n a sked J enny a f t er h er s t or y. “ J enny,you l ove me, d on

29、 t y ou? G i ve me y our p ear l s, o k ay? “ D addy, why must y ouask f or t he p ear l s?” J enny r ef used a gai n. “ N ot o nl y d i d I f i ni sh a l lt hose c hor es, b ut a l so I s pent t he d ol l ar b i l l g i ven f or my b i r t hday j ustt o pay f or i t. ” They bot h f el l i nt o si l

30、 ence. Then her f at her s l ed，co or t i ng h er w i t h a w ar mh ug. “ T hat s o key, d ar l i ng. G ood ni ght. ”Sever al days l at er , when Jenny s f at her ca i n t o r ead her a st or y as usual ,he w as s ur pr i sed t o f i nd s o t hi ng u nder t he s t or y b ook, w hi ch t ur ned o utt

31、o b e t he n eckl ac e. “ Daddy, n ow y ou c an h ave i t. ” J enny r ai sed h er h ead,9“ Y ou k now, I l ove y ou. ” H er f at her w as m oved b eyond w or ds. S l owl y, h epul l ed somet hi ng out of hi s pocket. I t was a pr et t y neckl ace wi t h r eal pear l sshi ni ng. “ The r e you ar e wi

32、 l l i ng t o gi ve, t he r e y ou ar e l i kel y t or ecei ve. That s t he r eal ani ng of shar i ng and gi vi ng. ” Her f at her hel pedJenny put on t he neckl ace . “ You kno I l ove you, l i t t l e one. ” ：此 文 运 用 了 大 量 的 主 要 是 考到 与 前 文 的同 。 大 量 的 父 女的 对 插 一 些 旁 白 或作 描 写 很 好 地 刻 画 了 人 物 之的 冲 突

33、，地 刻 画 了 人 物心 情 。一 般 的后写 不 建用 太 多 的 当 的 以 打 破情，刻 画 人 物 性 格 。于 此 文 中 的 小也 想 提 出 点 个 人 的 意： 1） “ Not o nl ydi d I f i ni sh a l l t hose c hor es, b ut a l so I s pent t he d ol l ar b i l l g i ven f or b i r t hday j ust t o p ay f or i t. ” 此 句 似 乎了 使 用 not o nl y , b ut a l so 的倒 装 句 型 而 写得 很 不 自

34、然 。句 太反 而 不 能 表 达 小 女 孩 当的 生 气 。建: “ I t s mi ne! M y e f f or t s! ” 反 而得 然 ， 同达 到 了 效 果 ，符 合 人 在 生 气候 的 式 ：短 句 ！不 完 整 句 ！2）有 一 的 使 用 也 有。 ： Jenny r ai sed h er h ead, 此的 逗 号 要 改句 号 。 只 能 作 描 写 ，而 不 是 quest i on t ag。Exa l e 5原 文 内 容 ：是 一 个 哲 理 故 事 ，述 一 位 商 人 儿 子 去 向 智 者找 快秘。 智 者人着 两勺 油城 一 周 不 能 将

35、油 洒 落 者 待 年人 回 来 后他 是 否 欣 赏到 城 堡 的 美 景 ， 年人口 无 言 。 然 后 智 者 重 新人着 两 勺 油城 一 周 ， “ But wher e ar e t he t wo dr ops of oi l I gave you?” as ked t he s e n. ar r assed a gai n, t he y oung m an a pol ogi zed, “ I h ad f or got t en t hesp t ot al l y. M y o nl y c oncer n w as t he at t r act i ve s i g

36、ht s. ” “ B ut y ou h avegot t he happi ness. ” l ed t he wi se man“ B ut wher e a r e t he t wo d r ops o f o i l I g ave y ou?” a sked t he w i se man. Hel ower ed hi s head and f ound t hat t her e s not hi ng l ef t i n hi s s poon,ast oni shed and e ar r assed. Then t he wi se n s l ed gener ou

37、sl y , “ I don tbl a y ou. I j ust want y ou t o r eal i ze t he s ecret o f h appi ness y our sel f. Nocoul d y ou t el l me a bout y our t hought s?” T he y oung m an t hought f or a whi l eand s l o y r epl i ed, “ t he t r ut h o f h appi ness i s h ol di ng o ur d r ea t i ght l ybut never f ai

38、 l i ng t o wat ch t he beaut i f ul scener y ar ound us. ” ：此 文 的 要 是 用 来 揭 示 故 事 的 寓 意 ， 通 常 出在 故 事 的 末 尾 。对一 定 要 写 出 深 度 厚 度 ， 才 能 博 得 老的 高 分 。 建可 以 使 用 。 此 文 中 也10有一个标 点瑕疵。请看： Then t he w i se m an s l ed g ener ousl y, 此 句的逗号 也要改为句 号， 作为动作描写穿 插其中，而不是 quest i on t ag 。他山石可攻玉 |这些 一篇出自美国初中生的看图说话与2

39、018 年6 月浙江英语高考“读后续写”酷似！Write a short story based on the pictures below in not less than 100 words.One weekend, my parents decided to bring my brother and I to the recreational jungle. Wewere very excited as we had not been there before. My brother and I talked about all thebears, tigers and reindeer

40、 we were going to see. We really thought that a recreational junglewas like any other jungle.When we arrived, we dashed into the jungle, wanting to explore its length and breadth .We obediently followed our parents at first but found it boring. Just then, a rabbit rushedout. I ed in delight and ran

41、after it. My brotherfollowedquickly behind. We keptrunning, always keeping our eyes on the rabbit. The rabbit got tired of running and decidedto hide in its burrow .It was only then that we realized that we did not know where we were. The trees lookedunfamiliar and there were no more jungle paths fo

42、r us to follow. We werescaredas werealized that we were lost. Night was approaching and the hooting of the owl sent shiversdown our spines. I began to cry as I was feeling tired, hungry and sleepy. My brothercomforted me by letting me sleep on his lap. I soon fell asleep dreaming of bears waiting to

43、eat me up.Suddenly, I woke up. My brother was shaking me and telling them to get up. We could hearvoices coming our way! We edwith all our might that we were lost. We soonsaw beams of light from countless torches. Then we heard our parents voices. We were safe!My brother and I ran to our parents and

44、 embraced them emotionally. We were so happy tosee them again that we vowed we never wanted to be separated from them ever again.：burrow : a hole in the ground dug by an animal such as a rabbit, especially to live insend shivers down sbs to make someone feel very frightenedvow: to make a determined

45、decisionStudy the following the following examples and learn how to showosfear11Example 1 - Fear:M i d n i g h t , a n d s o m eo n e p o u n d e d o n t h e f ro n t d o o r. M o m ? D ad ? W h e rew e re t h ey ? Th e m o v i e g o t o u t at 1 1. M o ll y c raw le d o u t o f b ed an dt i p t o e

46、 d d o w n st air s. A s h ad o w y f i g u re s h o w ed th r o u gh t h e f r o ste d g la ssin th e f r o n t d o or. Fea r n ib b l ed at h er m a k in g h e r k n ees w o b b le.M o m s v o ic e e c h o ed i n sid e h er h e ad. Rem e m b e r, d o n t a n sw e r t h e d o o rw h en w e r e a w

47、a y. M o lly c ro u ch e d , b a ck p r essed a g a in st t he w all , m o u thd ry - as-d ir t. Pl ea se, g o aw ay , h er w o rd s a c ho k e d w h isp er.Key Words - pounded, crawled, tiptoed, shadowy, fear nibbled, wobble,echoed, crouched, pressed, dry-as-dirt, choked.Comments ：1）例 1 中大量运用了短句，戏剧

48、性的短句能够增强紧张感2）这些关键字大部分都是强有力且活跃动词。3）简短的 dialogue 有效推动了情节发展，营造了栩栩如生的恐惧的场景。Its Your turn:Example 2 - Fear:I can feel the sweat drench my skin, the throbbing of my own eyes, the ringingscreams vibrating in my ears, and the thumping of my heart against my chest.My fingers are curled into a fist, nails dig

49、ging into my palm. I cant hear myrapid breathing, but I can feel the oxygen flooding in and out of my lungs.Hesitantly, my eyes look at the dead corpse before me, the person I killed. Feartortures my guts, churning my stomach in tense cramps. Fear engulfs myconscience, knocking all other thoughts as

50、ide. Fear overwhelms my body,making it drastically exhausted. However, most of all, the fear is making mecalm and that is what scares me the most.Key words ：_Your treasure:_Example 3 - FearTime passed slowly. Cathy stayed hidden within the darkness, feeling everybeat of her heart pounding on the col

51、d stone she lay upon. The wine and ale12cellar was as quiet as it was dark, with only one sound to be heard; the soundof her own pulse throbbing in her ears. Suddenly, the serenity of silencesurrendered to the deathly scream of hinges, as the door opposite her wasslowly pried open. A narrow stream o

52、f light gracefully meandered through theroom, and a shadow quickly followed.She was scared.Cathy held her breathe, daring not to make a sound. Each second seemed tolast an eternity as she lay perfectly still listening to the footsteps of the intruder,which had muted the pounding of her pulse.Key wor

53、ds ：_Your treasure:_ _恐惧来自自身，最大的恐惧其实就是恐惧本身！读后续写微技能 如何让你笔下的对话更加准确传神对话（ dialogue）是故事角色在整个故事中对彼此或对自己说的话。它可以用来揭示人物的性格和个性，它也可以用来推动情节向前发展，并展示情节发展的过程。对话是故事中最重要的元素之一。对话的语言要避免冗长的叙述，要避免直接告诉读者而要通过其他手段来展示它们。优秀的对话会让你故事中的人物生动立体，栩栩如生，将推动你的故事进展，使其更有乐趣，而拙劣的对话将破坏一个好的故事。11. 如何准确使用对话中的标点请观察下面的句子。Jack asked, “Do you thi

54、nk it will rain today? ”“I have a new umbrella, explained Emily, “and I am excited to try it out. ”“Why dont you check the weather forecast on your phone? suggested arly.“It is as simple as the smile on your face, ”he said.先看一个如何使用标点的视频英语对话标点使用规则：第一、对话提示词（Dialogue tags）Jack asked,”/“explained Emily,

55、 ”/“suggested Carly, 第二、 对话中的逗号，永远在引号里面。对话提示词 个句子的框架，它和它引用的部分是一个整体，是完整的一个句子。这就13解释了很多老师的疑惑，为啥对话有时候引用的对话说完了，但是后面却用逗号。如：“It was as hard as a rock, ”he aid.： He said，“It was as hard as a rock. ”第三、 整个对话（引用部分 +对话提示词）完整的时候，才能使用句号。对话开始首字母大写。如果对话提示词是插在一个完整对话中间的， 后面需要用逗号。且后半句话开头首字母要小写。如：“I have a new umbrel

56、la, explained Emily, “and I am excited to try it out. ”Exercise 1：给下面的句子加标点 Theres a fifty percent chance of rain this afternoon, reported Emily. Emily asked, Do you think I should take my new umbrella to school? Of course you should take it to school, answered Jack. If it starts raining, Carly adde

57、d, you will be nice and dry. Emily squealed( 尖叫), I see dark gray storm clouds rolling in. Oh no! exclaimed ( 惊叫)Jack. Carly and I dont have umbrellas. Hooray! yelled （喊叫） Emily. Its finally raining. Carly mumbled （咕哝地说） , My hair is getting soaked. Would you and Jack like to share my umbrella with

58、me? asked Emily. Thank you Emily, said Carly. Youre more than just a fair weather friend.2 如何让你的对话不平庸对话的关注点 就是故事中的角色1）对谁说了什么话2）说话的同时在做什么3）如何说的例1A: Give me the money, Katherine said.B: Give me the money,Katherine said, eyes staring at the money on the table。在高考读后续写的实际操作中，我们更加钟爱 B 这种句式，既表明了说话对象，又描述了说话

59、的方式，让读者更有画面感。例2Give me that toy gun , Tom said angrily.Lucy grinned, hiding it behind her back.这组对话中的 said angrily 的使用让整个对话表现平庸。 改变这种现状的办法有两种14I. 换直接告的词 （said angrily 词（如：shouted/ screamed/ barked ）请看下面频II 在上下文语境确的情况下，通过动作和神态描写来代替枯燥 sb.said 话提 示语 )。 这样处理的处是： 1）增加表现力生动性 2）避免打断对话的语。如：Tom slammed the d

60、oll on the ground and glared at Lucy，Give me the toy.Lucy ，hiding it behind her back.提示： 在读后续写的创作中， 尽量少用副词 来表述说话人讲话方式（为你用了副词那就是 tell 而不是 show）,特别是你要主要渲染的景 .让你的对话有趣真有画面立体感的是你如何使用 show 的技能， 那就一定要使用一些描绘性的动词。（他们说了什么话，说话时同时在做什么，拙劣表达：Im going to the store,Sydneyannounced happily. Wanna go with me?上面这个例子中