高考写作常见错误分析课件

高考英语写作

典型问题探析叙述（NarrativeWriting）ChronologicalorderFlashbackFocusonconflictThe

morning

after

my

grandfather’s

funeral,

I

woke

up

early

and

walked

to

the

cemetery.

I

stood

by

his

grave

and

became

angry

and

frustrated.

I

wanted

to

find

someplace

where

I

could

remember

my

grandfather

and

all

the

good

times

we

had

together.

On

the

beach,

I

sat

on

the

huge

piece

of

driftwood

where

my

grandfather

and

I

used

to

sit.

The

cool

lake

wind

and

the

noise

of

the

waves

brought

back

my

favorite

memories

of

him…ExampleI:

Chronological

orderAs

the

train

went

through

the

countryside,

Jane

stared

at

the

passing

farms

and

small

towns

with

a

sense

of

wonder.

How

could

people

live

in

such

remote

places?

Then

she

recalled

a

visit

to

a

cousin

when

she

was

young.

“I

would

never

live

in

the

city,”

the

cousin

had

said.

“Everyone

is

so

close

together,

and

there’s

so

much

noise!”

Jane

had

looked

at

her

in

surprise

and

responded,

“But

in

the

country

everyone

is

so

far

apart,

and

it’s

so

quiet!”

Suddenly,

the

train

whistle

blew,

and

the

thought

vanished,

and

Jane

began

working

on

a

puzzle

to

pass

the

time.ExampleII:

FlashbackExampleIII:Focusonconflict

or

a

changeDescribemaincharactersandsettingPresentconflictRelateeventsthatmakeconflictcomplexandcausecharacterstochangePresentresolutionoroutcomeofconflictExample:2016.10的读后续写题Jane

and

TomAsthetrainwentthroughthecountryside,Janestaredatthepassingfarmsandsmalltownswithasenseofwonder.Thediningroomwasfilledwithtalkandlaughter,butanemptinesshangatthecornersandasilencecutthroughtheconversation.Sometimeswewillmeetsomedifficultoruncomfortablesituation.we;thinkof;Christmas(reference)“Iwouldneverliveinthecity,”thecousinhadsaid.Whatyounoticenext;在英语语篇中，句子之间的主位和述位会发生某种联系或变化，这叫“意义推进”。(lexicalcohesionbasedonopposites;conjunction)Myaimwastomakelotsofnewfriendsanddevelopnewskills.FocusonaconflictorachangeAnarrativeoftendescribesapastsituationorexperienceandasequenceofeventswhichsometimesleadtoachange.Thistimelastyear…/WhenIfirstarrivedat:

(to

begin

a

past

experience)Atfirst/atthetime:

(introduce

some

specific

examples)But/however/suddenly:tointroducethechange:

(introduce

a

change)Oneday:

(describe

why

the

change

happened)Now/today:

(finish

with

a

summary

of

present

situation)

When

I

arrived

at

university,

I

joined

a

lot

of

clubs

and

societies.

My

aim

was

to

make

lots

of

new

friends

and

develop

new

skills.

At

the

time

I

thought

this

was

a

good

idea,

and

it

would

make

life

at

university

more

enjoyable.

But

I

hadn’t

realized

how

much

time

social

activities

can

take

up.

I

began

to

get

tired,

to

get

behind

with

work,

and

to

feel

depressed.

One

day

I

overslept

and

missed

a

really

important

lecture.

That

made

me

realize

that

I

had

to

organize

my

time

better,

and

to

make

sure

I

didn’t

have

too

many

late

nights.

Today

I’ve

cut

down

on

my

social

life,

but

I’m

happier

and

I

also

manage

to

get

my

work

done

on

time.描述（DescriptiveWriting）Spatial

orderOrder

of

impressionOrder

of

importanceExampleI:spatialordertop

bottomleft

rightoutside

insidenear

far

He

looked

around.

Just

inside

the

broken

door,

a

torn

letterlay

on

the

floor.

In

the

middle

of

the

room

stood

a

large

wooden

desk,

neatly

organized

except

for

a

lamp

that

hung

off

the

edge.

Behind

the

desk,

a

chair

lay

against

a

far

wall.ExampleII:order

of

impressionWhat

first

catches

your

attention;What

you

notice

next;What

you

notice

after

that;What

you

focus

on

last.

First,

we

heard

the

sound

of

a

car

braking

before

our

house.

Next

came

the

closing

of

a

car

door

and

then

the

clicking

of

a

woman’s

high

heels

as

she

ran

up

the

stone

walk.

It

was

already

late

in

the

evening,and

we

couldn’t

imagine

who

it

could

be.ExampleIII:order

of

importanceLeast

important;More

important;Most

important.

All

the

Spring

Festival

dishes

were

there:

the

roasted

duck;

the

fired

chicken

and

pork;

the

tasteful

rice

and

potatoes

with

fresh

vegetables.

The

dining

room

was

filled

with

talk

and

laughter,

but

an

emptiness

hang

at

the

corners

and

a

silence

cut

through

the

conversation.

Grandma

wasn’t

with

us.小句关系何为小句？有意义的语义单位，可以小至一个独词句，大至一个从句、句子、句组、段落等，如：Oneday,Ripjustwalkedonandon（小句a）andreachedthetopofthemountains（小句b）.

Itwaslateintheafternoon(小句c)

whenhereachedthere（小句d）.

Tiredafterhislongclimb（小句e）,helaydownandbegandaydreaming（小句f）.小句关系：（通过小句关系把握语篇的意义关联)1.逻辑顺序关系（logical

sequence

relation）：时间序列关系，条件——结果关系，原因——结果关系，手段——成就关系；2.匹配关系（matching

relation）：相容关系，对立关系

Manyyearsago,atthefootofdeep,

green

mountains,wasalittlevillage.Inthevillagelivedakind,

simplefellownamedRipVanWinkle.Hewasagood

neighbor,readytohelpanyone.Everyoneinthevillagelikedhim.Thechildrenofthevillageshoutedwithjoywhenevertheysawhim.Heplayedwiththem.Hetaughtthemtoflykites,andhe

toldthemlongstories.

Theonlyproblemwithhim

wasthathewasverylazy

and

did

nothing.Hedidnotworkonhisownfarm

and

justidledawayhistime.Hishouse

wasfallingtopieces.Hiscowwasgoingastray.Weedsgrewonhisfarm.Rip’sclose

friend

washisdog,namedWolf.Toavoidwork,heoften

walkedawayintotheforestwithhisdog.示例：From

Rip

Van

Winkle

by

Washington

IrvingEveryoneinthevillagelikedhim（小句1）.Thechildrenofthevillageshoutedwithjoywhenevertheysawhim（小句2）.Heplayedwiththem（小句3）.Hetaughtthemtoflykites（小句4a）,andhe

toldthemlongstories（小句4b）.

Theonlyproblemwithhim

wasthathewasverylazy

and

did

nothing（小句5）.1.（小句1）与（小句2）属匹配关系中的相容关系；2.（小句3）、（小句4a）和（小句4b）与（小句2）属逻辑顺序关系中的原因——结果关系；3.（小句5）与前面各小句属匹配关系中的对立关系。Theonlyproblemwithhimwasthathewasverylazy

and

did

nothing

(小句1）.Hedidnotworkonhisownfarm

（小句2a）and

justidledawayhistime

(小句2b).Hishouse

wasfallingtopieces

(小句3).Hiscowwasgoingastray

(小句4).Weedsgrewonhisfarm

(小句5).（小句2a）、（小句2b）、（小句3）、（小句4）和（小句5）与（小句1）属于匹配关系中的相容关系，即后面的各小句所表达的意义都是与第一小句同一性的，都是对“lazy”和“did

nothing”的进一步说明。

意义的推进

Patterns

of

Thematic

Progression

意义推进模式，也叫主述位推进模式，由捷克语言学家FrantisekDanes1974年提出。

主位（Theme）：句子信息的起点；述位（Rheme)：围绕主位所说的话，如：The

brain

(T1)

contains

manynerve

cells,

making

differentconnections

with

each

other.

(R1)在英语语篇中，句子之间的主位和述位会发生某种联系或变化，这叫“意义推进”。随着各句主位的向前推进，整个语篇逐渐展开，形成意义的整体。Example

Thingsintheworldarechanging.Peoplearechangingandeverycreatureischanging.Changingisaneutralword.Wecan’tjudgeifitisgoodorbadingeneral,becauseeverycoinhastwosides.Butsometimesweneedtochange,becauseitisgoodforus.Sometimeswewillmeetsomedifficultoruncomfortablesituation.Whenwearenotabletochangeit,weneedtochangeourselves.Ifbothofusrefusetobudge,theproblemwouldnotbesolved.Sometimesweneedtochangeourlifeattitude;sometimesweneedtochangeourviewsofseeingthings;sometimesweneedtotolerant;sometimesweneedtobestrong.Changingourselvesaccordingtothespecificsituationisgoodforus.

Things(T1)intheworldarechanging(R1).People(T2)arechanging(R2)

andevery

creature(T3)ischanging(R3).平行式：T1——R1

T2——R2T3——R3Tn——Rn

(T2,T3,T4,Tn

...=T1;R2,R3,Rn...=R1)Manygeographers（T1）saythattheUralMountainsformthedividinglinebetweenEuropeandAsia.Some（T2）thinkdifferently.Butall

geographers（T3）agreethatAsiawasoncelinkedtoNorthAmerica.MyoldfriendHarrison（T1）hadlivedintheMediterraneanforyearsbeforehereturnedtoEngland.He（T2）hadoftendreamedofretiringinEnglandandhadplannedtosettledowninthecountry.He（T3）hadnosoonerreturnedthanheboughtafinehouseandwenttolivethere.Almostimmediatelyhe

(T4)

begantocomplainabouttheweather，foreventhoughitwasstillsummeritrainedcontinuouslyandwasoftenbitterlycold.Things(T1)intheworldarechanging.Peoplearechanging

andevery

creatureischanging(R1).

Changing(T2)isaneutral(R2)

word. Wecan’tjudgeifitisgoodorbad(T3)

ingeneral,becauseeverycoinhastwosides.延续式：T1——R1 T2——R2

T3——R3(R1=T2,R2=T3,R3=T4

…)

Outsidemywindow(T1)isabiglawn(R1).Inthemiddleofthelawn

(T2)isaflowerbed

(R2).Thisbed(T3)

isfullofdaffodils

(R3).

T1——R1 T2

—

R2 T3

——

R3

Thewind(T1)whisperthem(R1),thebirds(T2)whistlethem(R2),thehandorgansinallcities(T3)repeatthem(R3)andthechimesofbells(T4)ringthem（R4)

inthetowers.集中式T1——R1

T2——R2T3——R3Tn——Rn

(R2,R3,R4,Rn

......=R1)

Theplay（T1）wasveryinteresting(R1),butI（T2）didn’tenjoyit（R2）.Ayoungmanandayoungwoman（T3）troubledme（R3）.I（T4）turnedroundandlookedatthem（R4）,butthey（T5）didn’tpayanyattentiontome

(R5).

交叉式：Forme,studyinginaschoolisapleasant,yetdifficultexperience.

ItispleasantbecauseIcanmeetmanyfriendsofmyageandhavefunwiththem.ItisdifficultbecauseIneverfinditeasytounderstandmyteachersinclass.派生式： T1R1T2R2T3R3T4R4衔接（句内衔接、句际衔接）ReferencingSubstitutionConjunction

(Transition)EllipsisGrammatical

cohesionSemantic

cohesionTheonlyproblemwithhimwasthathewasverylazyanddidnothing(小句1）.Conjunction(Transition)ReferencingRelateeventsthatmakeconflictcomplexandcausecharacterstochangeConjunction(Transition)ReferencingThediningroomwasfilledwithtalkandlaughter,butanemptinesshangatthecornersandasilencecutthroughtheconversation.Tn——Rn

(R2,R3,R4,Rn.ChronologicalorderExampleI:spatialorderWhatyoufocusonlast.述位（Rheme)：围绕主位所说的话，如：Whatyounoticenext;Musichasalwaysbeenagreatloveofmineand,inmy20s,whenmysicknesswasmoremanageable,Ienjoyedtenyearsasaprofessionalsingerinrestaurants,playingandsingingfolksongs.T3R3句内连贯（Intra-sentential）Usually,whenfacedwiththatparticularquestion,Iwill

feel

guiltyifIpassbywithoutgivingacoinortwo.(grammaticalcohesion)

The

start

was

so

sudden

and

the

end

came

so

soon

I

had

but

little

time

to

think

of

the

danger

that

attends

this

sort

of

travel.

(lexical

cohesion)TherearemanyshopsinSingaporewherecustomersstillbargain,althoughpricesareclearlyshownonthegoods.(transition,lexical

cohesion)

Thankinghim,ImadeatimewithhimtolistentoallthesongsandchoosetheonesthatIcouldsing.Ihavecomefullcirclewithhishelp.

(substitution)ThankstoWasana’squickactionandsharpobservation,noonewashurtintheincident.Thelandslidedestroyedtwoclassroomsandcausedheavydamagetosixothers.(substitution)句际连贯（Inter-sentential）I’ve

forgotten

what

I

told

him

that

night.But

I

do

rememberwa