专题09 上海高考夹叙夹议类作文（解析版）

►专题09上海高考夹叙夹议类作文_________________________________________________________________________________________考点精考点精讲【考情链接】夹叙夹议文是一种比较常见的写作文体,以记人叙事为主,记叙人物的经历或事物/事件发生、发展、变化的过程。兼有总结全文，深化主题。材料常涉及社会生活现象、人物或自然景物。无论记人还是叙事都要通过叙述、描写来加以表达,把人物的经历或行为、发生的事情/事件用一定的顺序和语言技巧叙述出来。在叙述过程中“人以事显,事由人生”,人和事是密不可分的。在一篇记叙文中记人、写景、叙事往往是交织在一起的,不能简单地分裂开。高考作文一般都不会单纯的记叙某事，而是夹叙夹议。围绕主题开展叙述、讨论—结论段（结尾部分Concludingparagraph）对全文的总结和概括。论说文的类型通常有：观点对比型、问题解决型、道理/观点论证型、说明利弊型等，各类型的论证方式有相异之处，每一种类型都有相对固定的论证方式及句型。值得注意的是近年试题中经常出现记叙与结论相结合的叙议形式。【典例剖析】【上海市南模中学2022-2023学年高三上学期开学考】假设你是李华，你要竞选学校模拟联合国社团主席，请写一篇竞选演讲稿，内容包括：1.你认为自己具备什么条件2.如果当选，你会为大家做什么_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Ladiesandgentlemen,I’mLiHua,I’mnowrunningforthepositionofbeingthechairmanoftheModelUnitedNationsClub.I’msureIcandothejobwell.Tobeginwith,communicatingwithothersisnotaproblemforme,whichmakesmeworkefficiently.Moreover,IusedtobethechairmanoftheStudents’Unionofmyhighschool,andIbelievesuchexperiencewillhelpalot.Thelastbutnotleast,beingfriendswithmanyexchangestudentsfromallovertheworldallowsmetoknowmoreaboutdifferentcultures.IfIbecomethechairman,Iwilltrymybesttouniteeverysingleclubandholdmeaningfulactivities,whichwillenrichourschoollife.Thankyouforyourlistening!【解析】【导语】本文是一篇应用文。要求考生写一篇演讲稿来竞选模拟联合国社团主席的职位。【详解】1.词汇积累帮助：help→assist首先：tobeginwith→firstofall此外：moreover→what’smore/besides最后：thelastbutnotleast→atlast/aboveall/intheend2.句式拓展简单句变复合句原句：I’mLiHua,I’mnowrunningforthepositionofbeingthechairmanoftheModelUnitedNationsClub.拓展句：I’mLiHua,whoisnowrunningforthepositionofbeingthechairmanoftheModelUnitedNationsClub.【点睛】【高分句型1】Thelastbutnotleast,beingfriendswithmanyexchangestudentsfromallovertheworldallowsmetoknowmoreaboutdifferentcultures.（运用了动名词短语做主语）【高分句型2】IfIbecomethechairman,Iwilltrymybesttouniteeverysingleclubandholdmeaningfulactivities,whichwillenrichourschoollife.（运用了非限制性定语从句）【真题回顾】【2018上海高考}Directions:WriteanEnglishcompositionin120—150wordsaccordingtotheinstructionsgivenbelowinChinese.假设你是明启中学的高三学生卢平。学校《英语报》向高三学生进行征文，题目为MyTeachers。卢平也想投稿。具体要求是：1.请你将认识的老师进行分类；2.具体描述每一类老师的特征。___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考答案】MyteachersOnthepathofpursuingknowledge,numerousteacherswehaveencounteredmayhavealifelongimpactonus,andevencontributetoshapingwhoweare.Lookingbackonmyschoollife,myteacherscanbegenerallyclassifiedintothreetypes:dedicated,approachable,andirresponsible.Dedicatedteachersaremostpopularamongstudentsnotonlybecauseoftheiroutstandingprofessionalknowledgebutalsobecauseoftheirdevotiontothecareerofteaching.Youcanexpectmorethanclasstimeofthem.Theymayhaveaface-to-facecommunicationwithyouafterclasstoenlightenyouwithatrickymathproblem.Theymaysacrificetheirfamilytimetokeepyoucompanysothatyoucansmoothyouremotionalproblemcausedbyyourownfamily.Needlesstosay,mostteachersfallintothiscategory.Thesecondtypeofteachermayseemlessqualifiedintermsoftheirteachingskills,buttheycanalsoeasilywinstudentheartsbecausetheycanbeentrustedwithourdeepestsecrets.Childhoodandadolescenceareawkwardperiodswhenwestruggletoexploreourownwayintheworld.Ourpeersmaybejustasinexperiencedasuswhileourparentsseeminglyliveonanotherplanet.Soafriendlyadultlikeapproachableteacherscanbealifesaver.Wetendtobecarefulwhenlabelingateacherirresponsible,buttheydoexist.Someofthemmayhavetemperissue,whileothersmaydisregardtheirownjob.Oneofmyteachersfitthedescription,whowasdirectlylinkedtomypooracademicperformanceduringhisstint.

Inthefuture,asmylearningcontinues,Iwillhaveopportunitiestomeetmoreteachers.Whereas,neverwillIforgettheassistancefrommypreviousteachersortheirpassionforknowledge.【分析】本篇书面表达属于命题作文，要求考生以MyTeachers为题，描述老师的种类并写一写各种老师的特征。【详解】第一步：审题体裁：命题作文时态：根据提示，时态主要为一般现在时和一般将来时。结构：总分法总分法指把主题句作为总说，把支持句作为分说，并以这种方式安排所写内容。要求：1.介绍老师的种类；2.描述每一种老师的特征。第二步:列提纲（重点词组）onthepathof;havealifelongimpacton;contributeto;lookbackon;beclassifiedinto;becauseof;morethan;enlightenyouwithatrickymathproblem;keepyoucompany;needlesstosay;fallinto;intermsof;tendto;belinkedto;academicperformance;passionforknowledge第三步：连词成句1.Onthepathofpursuingknowledge,numerousteacherswehaveencounteredmayhavealifelongimpactonus,andevencontributetoshapingwhoweare.2.Lookingbackonmyschoollife,myteacherscanbegenerallyclassifiedintothreetypes:dedicated,approachable,andirresponsible.3.Dedicatedteachersaremostpopularamongstudentsnotonlybecauseoftheiroutstandingprofessionalknowledgebutalsobecauseoftheirdevotiontothecareerofteaching.4.Theymaysacrificetheirfamilytimetokeepyoucompanysothatyoucansmoothyouremotionalproblemcausedbyyourownfamily.5.Thesecondtypeofteachermayseemlessqualifiedintermsoftheirteachingskills,buttheycanalsoeasilywinstudentheartsbecausetheycanbeentrustedwithourdeepestsecrets.6.Oneofmyteachersfitthedescription,whowasdirectlylinkedtomypooracademicperformanceduringhisstint.

7.Whereas,neverwillIforgettheassistancefrommypreviousteachersortheirpassionforknowledge.根据提示及关键词（组）进行遣词造句，注意主谓一致和时态问题。第四步：连句成篇（衔接词）1.表并列补充关系：and;notonly…butalso…2.表转折对比关系：but,Whereas,Some…,whileothers…3.表因果关系：Because,So连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰，【点睛】[高分句型1]Theymaysacrificetheirfamilytimetokeepyoucompanysothatyoucansmoothyouremotionalproblemcausedbyyourownfamily.（非谓语动词作后置定语和目的状语和结果状语从句）[高分句型2]Oneofmyteachersfitthedescription,whowasdirectlylinkedtomypooracademicperformanceduringhisstint.（非限制性定语从句）[高分句型3]Whereas,neverwillIforgettheassistancefrommypreviousteachersortheirpassionforknowledge.（不完全倒装句）_____优选操练优选操练01【上海市控江中学2022-2023学年学高三上学期9月月考】假设你是李红，你的学校即将迎来100周年的校庆，校长就如何举行校庆活动向在校学生广泛征求建议。请你用李红的名义给校长写一封信，就校庆活动提出你的建议，并陈述理由。信的内容需包括：1.校庆的形式。内容和参加对象2.你的理由_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】DearPrincipal，

IamastudentoftheschoolwhosenameisLiHong.Knowingthatourschooliscelebratingits100thanniversarysoon,youhaveaskedawiderangeofstudentsforadviceonhowtoholdthecelebration.Iwouldliketomaketwosuggestionstoyouforyouradoption.

First,Ithinkourschoolshouldinvitethewell-knownalumnitoattendthe100thanniversaryofourschooltowitnessthe100thbirthdayofourschool.Secondly,Ithinkourschoolshouldmakethesameshortsleevesforthe100thanniversaryofourschoolforallthestaffandstudentstocelebratethistogether.

Finally,the100thanniversaryofourschoolisheld,whichissomethingworthlookingforwardto.

Yours,

LiHong【解析】【导语】本篇书面表达属于应用文。要求考生给用李红的名义给校长写一封信，就校庆活动提出你的建议，并陈述理由。【详解】1.词汇积累庆祝：celebrate→observe全体员工：staff→what’smore出名的：well-known→famous采纳：adoption→acception2.句式拓展简单句变复合句原句：Iwouldliketomaketwosuggestionstoyouforyouradoption.拓展句：Iwanttogiveyoutwosuggestions,whichIhopetoadopt.【点睛】[高分句型1]IamastudentoftheschoolwhosenameisLiHong.（运用了whose引导的限制性定语从句）[高分句型2]Finally,the100thanniversaryofourschoolisheld,whichissomethingworthlookingforwardto.（运用了which引导的非限制性定语从句02【上海市吴淞中学2022-2023学年高三上学期10月调研】Directions:WriteanEnglishcompositionin120—150wordsaccordingtotheinstructionsgivenbelowinChinese.假设你是明启中学学生王磊，你校下个月将举行中外学生交流活动，现向学生征求活动方案。你主动向校长写信，表达你的想法。你的信包括以下内容：1.活动的主题；2.你设计的1-2个活动的具体内容；3.你设计该活动的理由。_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Dearprincipal,I’mastudentinourschool.IhavelearnedthattherewillbeanexchangebetweenChineseandforeignstudentsinourschoolnextmonth.Ihavealsolearnedthatourschoolisrecruitingorganizersfromstudents.Iamnowwritingtomakeanapplicationforbeingrecruited.Ihavemucherperienceinorganizingsuchanactivity.IfIhavebeenrecruited.Iwillmakethefollowingarrangements:Holdareadingontheschoolplaygroundandallteachersandstudentsareinvitedtoattend.Firstly,choosesomerepresentativesofforeignstudentstotalkabouttheircultureandtheirfeelingsaboutChineseculture.Secondly,eachstudentbroughthisfavoritebooktotheactivityanddiscussedthetwocultureswithforeignfriendsaroundhim.Throughthisactivity,ontheonehand,studentscanhaveadeeperunderstandingoftheculturaldifferencesbetweenChinaandforeigncountries;ontheotherhand,studentscanstrengthencommunicationandenhancefriendship.LookingforwardtoyourearlyreplyyourssincerelyWangLei解析：根据提示信息，你是明启中学学生王磊，学校下个月将举行中外学生交流活动，现向学生征求活动方案。你主动向校长写信，表达你的想法。1.首先注意时态以现在时为主，其次人称使用第一人称。2.根据文章的写作要求，可以分为两部分;第一部分指出活动的主题；你设计的1-2个活动的具体内容并说出你设计该活动的理由。3.注意使用高级词汇和句式，为文章增添色彩；注意使用连接词、衔接词，使文章自然、流畅。本文内容完整，语言表述流畅。文章使用了几个高分句型1.IhavelearnedthattherewillbeanexchangebetweenChineseandforeignstudentsinourschoolnextmonth.

that引导的宾语从句；2.IfIhavebeenrecruited，Iwillmakethefollowingarrangements.if条件从句，句。这些句式的恰当运用，不仅为文章增色，还展示了作者具有较高的语言运用能力和较高的写作水平。_____好题必好题必测（2021·上海杨浦·一模）Directions:WriteanEnglishcompositionin120-150wordsaccordingtotheinstructionsgivenbelowinChinese.红星中学为了创建文明校园，促进和谐社会，举办题为“ConflictManagement”的征文比赛。假定你是李林，请给校报投稿，你的文章需包括：1）你亲身经历的最严重或令你最难忘的冲突；2）你对处理冲突的反思或从中学到的经验教训。________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【参考答案】Asthesayinggoes“wheretherearepeople,thereareriversandlakesaswell”,conflictisinevitable.

Twomonthsago,arguingwithmyparentsseemednatural.Myarrogance,aswellasmyrebelliousness,wasconstantlyrepresentedbyme,somylovingmotherandfatherhadtostopsmilingatmeandbegantocrackdownonme.Iwentfrombeingalittleafraidtoignoringmyparents,andwiththatcameagrowingconflict.ThemomentIsteppedoutofthehouse,Ifelttheurgetosaygoodbyeforever.Agustofautumnwindblew,andIseemedtocalmalot.Iwastheonewhostartedtheconflict.Myparentsdidnothingwrong.Theendlessargumentskepttheconflictgoingeverytimeitended.ItwasIwhoreignitedtheconflict.

AfterthatIcametorealizeconflictisanaturalpartoflife,andthatitisanopportunitytocreateabetterunderstanding.【思路点拨】本篇书面表达属于夹叙夹议文，要求考生给给校报投稿，参加学校举办的题为“ConflictManagement”的征文比赛。【精准解析】第一步：审题体裁：夹叙夹议文时态：根据提示，时态主要为一般现在时和一般过去时。结构：总分法总分法指把主题句作为总说，把支持句作为分说，并以这种方式安排所写内容。要求：1.介绍你亲身经历的最严重或令你最难忘的冲突；2.你对处理冲突的反思或从中学到的经验教训。第二步:列提纲（重点词组）asthesayinggoes;arguingwith;aswellas;crackdownonme;keepdoing;anopportunitytodo第三步：连词成句1.Twomonthsago,arguingwithmyparentsseemednatural.2.Myarrogance,aswellasmyrebelliousness,wasconstantlyrepresentedbyme,somylovingmotherandfatherhadtostopsmilingatmeandbegantocrackdownonme.3.Iwentfrombeingalittleafraidtoignoringmyparents,andwiththatcameagrowingconflict.4.ThemomentIsteppedoutofthehouse,Ifelttheurgetosaygoodbyeforever.5.Agustofautumnwindblew,andIseemedtocalmalot.6.Iwastheonewhostartedtheconflict.7.Myparentsdidnothingwrong.8.Theendlessargumentskepttheconflictgoingeverytimeitended.9.ItwasIwhoreignitedtheconflict.根据提示及关键词（组）进行遣词造句，注意主谓一致和时态问题。第四步：连句成篇（衔接词）（供参考）1.表文章结构顺序：Firstofall,Firstly/First,Secondly/Second…Andthen,Finally,Intheend,Atlast2.表并列补充关系：Whatismore,Besides,Moreover,Furthermore,InadditionAswellas,notonly…but(also),including3.表转折对比关系：However,Onthecontrary,but,Although+clause(从句),Inspiteof+n/doing,Ontheonehand…,Ontheotherhand…Some…,whileothers…,asfor,so…that…4.表因果关系：Because,As,So,Thus,Therefore,Asaresult连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰，【名师指导】[高分句型1]Iwastheonewhostartedtheconflict.（我是开始冲突的那个人。）运用了定语从句。[高分句型2]ItwasIwhoreignitedtheconflict.（是我再次引发冲突。）运用了强调句。[高分句型3]withthatcameagrowingconflict.（随之而来的是一场日益激烈的冲突。）运用了倒装句。【上海市复旦大学附属中学2022-2023学年高三上学期11月教学质量检测英语试题】假如你是明启中学高三学生李明，你校正在为即将于高一高二年级举办的英语辩论赛（EnglishDebateContest）和英语电影配音赛（EnglishFilmDubbingContest）在高三学生中招聘学生评委（judge），你对此很有兴趣。请写一封电子邮件给相关负责老师，申请担任其中一项比赛的评委。邮件内容需包括：1.你希望担任该比赛评委的意愿；2.简单的相关自我介绍；3.你适合担任该比赛评委的理由。________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】DearSir/Madam,

ItissaidthattherewillbeanEnglishDebateContestinGradeOne,andstudentjudgeswillberecruitedamongGradeThreestudents.Iamveryinterestedinthiscontest,soIamwritingtoapplyfortheposition.

MynameisLiMing,studyinginClass15,Grade3.IamveryinterestedinEnglishandIgetgoodgrades.IamfluentinoralEnglishandcanexpressmyselfclearlyinEnglish.Iamoutgoingandquickinthinking.

WhenIwasingradeone,ItookpartintheEnglishdebatecontestandwonthefirstprize,soIknowtherulesoftheEnglishdebatecontest.Ihaveadeepknowledgeofthedebaterequirements,whichenablesmetoevaluatetheperformanceofthecontestantswell.SoIthinkIamsuitabletobeajudgeofthiscompetition.

Iwouldreallyappreciateitifyoucouldgivemetheopportunitytobeajudge.

Lookingforwardtoyourreply.

Yours

LiMing【解析】【导语】本篇书面表达属于应用文，要求考生学校相关负责老师写封电子邮件，申请担任高一高二年级举办的英语辩论赛和英语电影配音赛的其中一项比赛的评委。【详解】1.词汇积累比赛：contest→competition表达：express→convey要求：requirement→demand参加：takepartin→participatein2.句式拓展简单句变复合句原句：MynameisLiMing,studyinginClass15,Grade3.拓展句：MynameisLiMing,whostudiesinClass15,Grade3.【点睛】[高分句型1]ItissaidthattherewillbeanEnglishDebateContestinGradeOne,andstudentjudgeswillberecruitedamongGradeThreestudents.(运用了that引导的主语从句)[高分句型2]Ihaveadeepknowledgeofthedebaterequirements,whichenablesmetoevaluatetheperformanceofthecontestantswell.(运用了which引导的非限制性定语从句)【上海市建平中学2022-2023学年高三上学期期中教学质量检测英语试题】假设你是汇文中学的李星，你很想成为一名美食评论员(foodcritic)，学校校报主编给你布置了一个任务——针对你校周围新开的一家中餐馆，写一篇餐馆评论(review)。你的文章应含有以下内容：·你的用餐经历；(可以提到食物质量，用餐环境，服务态度等方